Preface

In modern language, the author sets forth the foundations of the teaching and life of the Christian Orthodox Church. The main emphasis is placed on the Holy Tradition of the Church, expressed in the works and prayerful experience of her holy ascetics and teachers. The combination of a scientific approach with inspired preaching makes the book spiritually convincing and interesting.For Christians who want to know the sources of their faith in more detail and fuller, for all those interested in Christianity.

Preface to the First Edition

Despite the subtitle "Introduction to Orthodox Dogmatic Theology," Hegumen Hilarion's book "The Mystery of Faith" is intended not only for theological seminaries and academies. It is addressed to a much wider circle of readers - in fact, to all who strive to come from intuitive and unreasoned faith to the depths of the faith that is revealed in the teaching of the Church Fathers. But the great merit of Fr. Hilarion's book is that it never leaves aside the experience of the believer. For the teaching of the Church is rooted in her Liturgy, in her prayer, in the experience of the presence of God in Christ experienced by her members. Christianity is not a philosophy, not a theory, not an ideology, but life itself - true life, the fullness of life. And Christian theology must be all-embracing enough that, if not to contain this life, for the latter is impossible, then at least to show its true greatness. The reality of the Word of God made flesh can never be adequately expressed by human words; and yet we must try to do so if we are to be ready to "give an answer to everyone who asks us to give an account of our hope" (1 Pet. 3:15).Fr. Hilarion uses modern language to express the experience contained in the two-thousand-year-old Tradition of the Church. In doing so, he fulfills a task that must be solved anew in every epoch. This is especially important today, when so many have lost the ability to directly perceive the treasures that the Orthodox Church offers them. Fr. Hilarion is attentive both to the historical path of the Church and to its unchangeable nature. He speaks in the name of the Tradition of the Eastern Church, but compares its teaching with the Western tradition, pointing out the differences, some of which are superficial, others more profound. And throughout the book, the connections between the teaching of the Fathers and the teaching of the New Testament, the Church, and the Apostles are emphasized. A book that is truly an introduction, in an etymological sense, to the riches and depths of the Orthodox faith, because it leads a person inside the faith - where the author himself lives. In an era when Orthodoxy is becoming more and more widely known throughout the world, it is to be hoped that this book will soon appear in translations into European languages.Basil, Bishop of Sergiev, Vicar of the Diocese of Sourozh

Reviews of the first edition

Fr. Hieromonk Hilarion's work "The Mystery of Faith" is a very valuable and timely contribution to Russian theological literature. The book is written in a simple, living language, from the experience and life of the Orthodox Tradition. Fr. Hilarion "introduces" the reader, even the theologically unsophisticated, into the recesses of Orthodoxy, touching upon the main areas of dogmatic doctrine: the paths to God, the Trinitarian mystery, the world and man, Christ the Savior, the mystery of the Church, the sacraments, prayer, deification, the life of the age to come. The Church itself, the Body of Christ, is the primary "sacrament," and in it we partake of the fullness of the "mystery" of salvation, by the power of the Holy Spirit and the feat of faith.The book is equipped with many quotations, in addition to the Holy Scriptures, in addition to the writings of the Holy Fathers, and even from modern Orthodox theological literature, for Holy Tradition does not confine itself to the Middle Ages and the breath of the Spirit continues in our time. The Holy Church is an old woman with an eternally young face. Modern Orthodox theology has made a rich contribution to the treasury of doctrine, and Fr Hilarion's book vividly testifies to this. Liturgical tradition should be considered on a par with the theological works of the Holy Fathers as the primary source of Orthodox knowledge of God. It is not easy to present to the modern reader the spiritual treasures of Orthodoxy without going into the cloth language of textbooks, but Fr. Hilarion fulfilled this task with complete success.With all my heart I wish the "Mystery of Faith" wide dissemination and fruitful theological and spiritual creativity to its author.Protopresbyter Boris Bobrinsky, Rector of the St. Sergius Orthodox Theological Institute in ParisThe book "The Mystery of Faith" by Hieromonk Hilarion (Alfeyev) made a deep impression on me. This book, in my opinion, surprisingly combines the depth of theological thought with the ability to approach the spiritual and intellectual needs of a modern Orthodox person.It is striking how various chapters devoted to this or that teaching of the Orthodox Church end with literal and sometimes long quotations from the writings of the Church Fathers or contemporary Orthodox authors. Among the former, a particularly prominent place is occupied by the writings of St. Symeon the New Theologian, to whom the author has been specially studying for many years. Among the latter, the author seems to be especially close to the writings of Archpriest George Florovsky, whose slogan can be considered the thesis "Forward to the Fathers!" I would like to thank the author from the bottom of my heart, in particular, for the wise words devoted to the specific problems of today's Orthodoxy, such as the liturgical language. In this book, every sincere Christian, in the words of St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov), will be able to learn everything "necessary in the field of faith." It is completely devoid of pedantic scholarship: every time a theological term is used, the author immediately gives an explanation. This book is addressed to the simplest reader, Orthodox or not, and even to the unbeliever, and introduces him to the very heart of Orthodox life. However, this work is, in my opinion, obligatory reading for all students of seminaries and academies. Let us add that it can be of great benefit to the most learned theologians.The book greatly contributes to the liberation of Russian Orthodox theology from what Father George Florovsky in his time called the "Babylonian captivity" (see Ways of Russian Theology, Paris, 1937), namely, from the scholastic approach to theological thinking. The point here is not only that Fr Hilarion knows the Holy Fathers very well (the critical apparatus of the book is irreproachable), but that the author renews the connection with the patristic experience of the Church: he does not simply quote the Fathers, he thinks today as the Holy Fathers thought in their time. In my opinion, Fr. Hilarion's book "The Sacrament of Faith" deserves the widest possible distribution in Russian, and I also cannot but agree with Vladyka Vasily (Bishop of Sergiev), who in the preface hopes that it will be translated into European languages. In conclusion, I would like to say that the book by Fr Hilarion (Alfeyev) is one of the brightest examples of the revival of theological scholarship in the Russian Orthodox Church.Nikolai Lossky, Professor at the St. Sergius Orthodox Theological Institute in Paris

Author's Preface to the Second Edition

This book was written "in one breath" - during the Great Lent of 1992. In its original form, it was a collection of materials for lectures on dogmatic theology that were not intended for publication. The book was published in 1996 on the initiative of a group of students of St. Tikhon's Orthodox Theological Institute. Soon English and French translations appeared. Giving the Russian text into the hands of translators, the author made changes, reductions and clarifications to it every time. This is how the present, second edition was born.The book is not a systematic exposition of the dogmatic theology of the Orthodox Church. The genre of the book can be defined as a personal commentary of the author, an Orthodox priest, on the dogmas of the Orthodox Church. Therefore, the book raises questions rather than gives answers. Since the book is addressed to a wide range of readers interested in the teaching of the Orthodox Church in its historical development and in its relation to contemporary problems, the author considered it necessary to give readers the opportunity to hear the living voice of the teachers of the Church and some of its leading theologians, and therefore quoted literally their statements regarding the basic dogmas of the doctrine. It means an immutable truth, accepted on faith and generally binding for Christians (from the Greek dogma - "law", "rule", "decree") [1]. Dogmas are divinely revealed, because they are based on Holy Scripture, although they were finally formulated in a later era. They are the property of the entire Church as worked out by her conciliar mind. In contrast to dogmas, heresies (from the Greek hairesis - lit. "choice", "withdrawal") are theological opinions opposed to church teaching, as if removed from its context. All dogmas were formulated in response to the heresies that arose. In turn, heresies were born out of perplexities on the main points of doctrine. The centuries-old history of Christianity is filled with a constant struggle against heresies: in this struggle, the consciousness of the Church was strengthened, formulations were honed, and theological thinking developed. The system of Orthodox dogmatic theology is the result of the entire two-thousand-year history of Christianity.In the modern world, such a view of religion is widespread, in which dogmas are considered as something optional and secondary, and moral commandments are recognized as primary. Hence the religious indifference and indifference to theology. However, the Church has always been aware that dogmas and commandments are inseparably linked and one cannot exist without the other. "Faith without works is dead," says the Apostle James (James 2:26). And according to the Apostle Paul, "a man is justified by faith, apart from the works of the law" (Romans 3:28). There is no contradiction in these two phrases: works are necessary, but they are not salvific in themselves, without faith, because it is Christ who saves people, and not their own virtues." And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free," says Christ (John 8:32), Who Himself is the only Truth, Way and Life (John 14:6). Each dogma reveals the truth, shows the way and introduces to life. And each heresy moves away from the truth, closes the path to salvation for a person and makes him spiritually dead. The struggle for dogmas that the Church has waged throughout its history has been, as V. Lossky shows, a struggle for the salvation of man, for the possibility of communion with true Life, unity with God and eternal bliss [2].Orthodox theology has never possessed such a complete and exhaustive set of doctrinal truths as for the Catholic West was the "Summa Theologica" of Thomas Aquinas, where an attempt was made to systematize the entire Christian doctrine in the form of questions and answers. The work of Aquinas predetermined the development of theological thought in the West for many centuries, which became more and more rational and scholastic. By the will of historical circumstances, Orthodox theology in recent centuries has been strongly influenced by Western "school theology," which is reflected, in particular, in Russian textbooks on dogmatics written in the nineteenth century. Detachment from real spiritual life and speculation, characteristic of the "school theology" of the Catholic Church up to the Second Vatican Council, are to a large extent inherent in Russian dogmatic theology of the last century. It was only in the 20th century, through the efforts of such theologians as Vladimir Lossky, Archpriest George Florovsky and others, that an end was put to the scholastic dominance in Russian theology and a general direction was worked out for further theological search, the slogan of which was "forward to the Fathers." In saying this, we recall the "father of scholasticism" Thomas Aquinas, to whom, as his biography relates, Christ appeared shortly before his death, after which he unexpectedly ceased his literary activity, leaving his "Summa" unfinished. "After what I have seen, everything that I have written seems to me like straw," he said to his disciples [3].Theology should not contradict religious experience, but on the contrary, proceed from it; this was the theology of the Church Fathers over the course of twenty centuries - from the Apostle Paul and the Hieromartyr Ignatius the God-Bearer to St. Theophan the Recluse and St. Silouan the Athonite. In our book, we have tried to base ourselves on the teaching of the Holy Fathers, taking into account, however, not only what all church writers had in common, but also those particular theological opinions (theologoumena) that were introduced by individual authors into the treasury of Christian doctrine. The main criterion of theological accuracy is, according to the Orthodox understanding, the so-called consensus patrum - "the agreement of the Fathers" on the main questions of doctrine. However, this consensus cannot be understood as something artificial, created as a result of cutting off from each author all that is individual and most vivid, as a kind of "common denominator" of patristic thought. It seems to us that the "agreement of the Fathers" implies their commonality in the main with possible disagreements on certain points. Therefore, many of the private opinions of the Holy Fathers, being the fruits of the spiritual search of divinely enlightened men of faith, should not be artificially cut off in order to create a simplified scheme or "sum" of theology. Orthodox dogmatics is not a monument of Christian antiquity: it requires a living perception and modern commentary, taking into account the experience of man of the twentieth century. For example, in expounding the dogmatic teaching of the Church, it is impossible to pass over in silence the views of such outstanding theologians as Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh or Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov), who, while remaining faithful to the patristic Tradition, were able to answer the burning questions of today's man, questions that by no means always coincided with what was of interest in the fourth century. Orthodox dogmatics cannot be reduced to a simple repetition of what was said by the ancient Fathers. It is not a question of rethinking dogmas, but of rethinking them in such a way that the experience of the modern Christian becomes part of the dogmatic system.Based on spiritual experience, alien to rationalism and scholasticism, Orthodox theology remains alive and effective in our days no less than hundreds of years ago. The same questions have always been and are always facing man: what is truth? What is the meaning of life? how to attain true knowledge of God and blessedness in God? Christianity does not seek to dot the i's and dot the i's, having exhausted all the questions of the human spirit. But it reveals another reality, so surpassing everything that surrounds us in earthly life, that when a person encounters it, he forgets his questions and perplexities, because his soul comes into contact with the Divinity and falls silent in the presence of the Mystery, which no human word can express. The Greek word "dogma" with the stress on the first syllable, feminine, entered the Russian language and in common speech has a negative connotation of something frozen and lifeless (just like the word "dogmatic"). The masculine word "dogma" with an emphasis on the second syllable goes back to the Slavonic liturgical texts: "As the royal adornment of the Church, we all praise Basil, the treasure of dogmas is not scarce"; "The Church celebrates today the honorable triumph of the teachers of the three, for they have confirmed the Church with their divine dogmas" (Service to the Three Saints: Menaion Festive. Moscow, 1970, pp. 295-296) ^ V. Lossky. Dogmatic Theology; An Essay on the Mystical Theology of the Eastern Church. Moscow, 1991. Ss. 10-11 ^ La vie et l'oeuvre de saint Thomas d'Acquin: Thomas d'Acquin. Somme theologique. Paris, 1990. P. 24 ^

Chapter I. The Search for Faith

This book was written "in one breath" - during the Great Lent of 1992. In its original form, it was a collection of materials for lectures on dogmatic theology that were not intended for publication. The book was published in 1996 on the initiative of a group of students of St. Tikhon's Orthodox Theological Institute. Soon English and French translations appeared. Giving the Russian text into the hands of translators, the author made changes, reductions and clarifications to it every time. This is how the present, second edition was born.The book is not a systematic exposition of the dogmatic theology of the Orthodox Church. The genre of the book can be defined as a personal commentary of the author, an Orthodox priest, on the dogmas of the Orthodox Church. Therefore, the book raises questions rather than gives answers. Since the book is addressed to a wide range of readers interested in the teaching of the Orthodox Church in its historical development and in its relation to contemporary problems, the author considered it necessary to give readers the opportunity to hear the living voice of the teachers of the Church and some of its leading theologians, and therefore quoted literally their statements regarding the basic dogmas of the doctrine. It means an immutable truth, accepted on faith and generally binding for Christians (from the Greek dogma - "law", "rule", "decree") [1]. Dogmas are divinely revealed, because they are based on Holy Scripture, although they were finally formulated in a later era. They are the property of the entire Church as worked out by her conciliar mind. In contrast to dogmas, heresies (from the Greek hairesis - lit. "choice", "withdrawal") are theological opinions opposed to church teaching, as if removed from its context. All dogmas were formulated in response to the heresies that arose. In turn, heresies were born out of perplexities on the main points of doctrine. The centuries-old history of Christianity is filled with a constant struggle against heresies: in this struggle, the consciousness of the Church was strengthened, formulations were honed, and theological thinking developed. The system of Orthodox dogmatic theology is the result of the entire two-thousand-year history of Christianity.In the modern world, such a view of religion is widespread, in which dogmas are considered as something optional and secondary, and moral commandments are recognized as primary. Hence the religious indifference and indifference to theology. However, the Church has always been aware that dogmas and commandments are inseparably linked and one cannot exist without the other. "Faith without works is dead," says the Apostle James (James 2:26). And according to the Apostle Paul, "a man is justified by faith, apart from the works of the law" (Romans 3:28). There is no contradiction in these two phrases: works are necessary, but they are not salvific in themselves, without faith, because it is Christ who saves people, and not their own virtues." And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free," says Christ (John 8:32), Who Himself is the only Truth, Way and Life (John 14:6). Each dogma reveals the truth, shows the way and introduces to life. And each heresy moves away from the truth, closes the path to salvation for a person and makes him spiritually dead. The struggle for dogmas that the Church has waged throughout its history has been, as V. Lossky shows, a struggle for the salvation of man, for the possibility of communion with true Life, unity with God and eternal bliss [2].Orthodox theology has never possessed such a complete and exhaustive set of doctrinal truths as for the Catholic West was the "Summa Theologica" of Thomas Aquinas, where an attempt was made to systematize the entire Christian doctrine in the form of questions and answers. The work of Aquinas predetermined the development of theological thought in the West for many centuries, which became more and more rational and scholastic. By the will of historical circumstances, Orthodox theology in recent centuries has been strongly influenced by Western "school theology," which is reflected, in particular, in Russian textbooks on dogmatics written in the nineteenth century. Detachment from real spiritual life and speculation, characteristic of the "school theology" of the Catholic Church up to the Second Vatican Council, are to a large extent inherent in Russian dogmatic theology of the last century. It was only in the 20th century, through the efforts of such theologians as Vladimir Lossky, Archpriest George Florovsky and others, that an end was put to the scholastic dominance in Russian theology and a general direction was worked out for further theological search, the slogan of which was "forward to the Fathers." In saying this, we recall the "father of scholasticism" Thomas Aquinas, to whom, as his biography relates, Christ appeared shortly before his death, after which he unexpectedly ceased his literary activity, leaving his "Summa" unfinished. "After what I have seen, everything that I have written seems to me like straw," he said to his disciples [3].Theology should not contradict religious experience, but on the contrary, proceed from it; this was the theology of the Church Fathers over the course of twenty centuries - from the Apostle Paul and the Hieromartyr Ignatius the God-Bearer to St. Theophan the Recluse and St. Silouan the Athonite. In our book, we have tried to base ourselves on the teaching of the Holy Fathers, taking into account, however, not only what all church writers had in common, but also those particular theological opinions (theologoumena) that were introduced by individual authors into the treasury of Christian doctrine. The main criterion of theological accuracy is, according to the Orthodox understanding, the so-called consensus patrum - "the agreement of the Fathers" on the main questions of doctrine. However, this consensus cannot be understood as something artificial, created as a result of cutting off from each author all that is individual and most vivid, as a kind of "common denominator" of patristic thought. It seems to us that the "agreement of the Fathers" implies their commonality in the main with possible disagreements on certain points. Therefore, many of the private opinions of the Holy Fathers, being the fruits of the spiritual search of divinely enlightened men of faith, should not be artificially cut off in order to create a simplified scheme or "sum" of theology. Orthodox dogmatics is not a monument of Christian antiquity: it requires a living perception and modern commentary, taking into account the experience of man of the twentieth century. For example, in expounding the dogmatic teaching of the Church, it is impossible to pass over in silence the views of such outstanding theologians as Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh or Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov), who, while remaining faithful to the patristic Tradition, were able to answer the burning questions of today's man, questions that by no means always coincided with what was of interest in the fourth century. Orthodox dogmatics cannot be reduced to a simple repetition of what was said by the ancient Fathers. It is not a question of rethinking dogmas, but of rethinking them in such a way that the experience of the modern Christian becomes part of the dogmatic system.Based on spiritual experience, alien to rationalism and scholasticism, Orthodox theology remains alive and effective in our days no less than hundreds of years ago. The same questions have always been and are always facing man: what is truth? What is the meaning of life? how to attain true knowledge of God and blessedness in God? Christianity does not seek to dot the i's and dot the i's, having exhausted all the questions of the human spirit. But it reveals another reality, so surpassing everything that surrounds us in earthly life, that when a person encounters it, he forgets his questions and perplexities, because his soul comes into contact with the Divinity and falls silent in the presence of the Mystery, which no human word can express. The Greek word "dogma" with the stress on the first syllable, feminine, entered the Russian language and in common speech has a negative connotation of something frozen and lifeless (just like the word "dogmatic"). The masculine word "dogma" with an emphasis on the second syllable goes back to the Slavonic liturgical texts: "As the royal adornment of the Church, we all praise Basil, the treasure of dogmas is not scarce"; "The Church celebrates today the honorable triumph of the teachers of the three, for they have confirmed the Church with their divine dogmas" (Service to the Three Saints: Menaion Festive. Moscow, 1970, pp. 295-296) ^ V. Lossky. Dogmatic Theology; An Essay on the Mystical Theology of the Eastern Church. Moscow, 1991. Ss. 10-11 ^ La vie et l'oeuvre de saint Thomas d'Acquin: Thomas d'Acquin. Somme theologique. Paris, 1990. P. 24 ^

Call

Faith is the path along which God and man go towards each other. The first step is taken by God, who always and unconditionally believes in man. He gives man a sign, a presentiment of His presence. Man hears, as it were, the mysterious call of God, and his step towards God is a response to this call. God calls man openly or secretly, perceptibly or almost imperceptibly. But it is difficult for a person to believe in God if he does not first feel the calling. Why does one person respond to the call and the other does not? Why is one, having heard the word of God, ready to receive it, while the other remains deaf? Why does one, having met God on his way, immediately abandon everything and follow Him, while the other turns away and goes aside? "And as he passed by the sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon who was called Peter, and Andrew his brother, for they were fishermen. And he saith unto them, Follow me... And straightway they left their nets and followed Him. From there, going on, He saw two other brothers, James of Zebedee and John... And he called them. And straightway they left the boat and their father, and followed him" (Matt. 4:18-22). What is the secret of this readiness of the Galilean fishermen, abandoning everything, to follow Christ, Whom they see for the first time in their lives? And why did the rich young man, to whom Christ also said, "Come, and follow me," not respond immediately, but "departed with sorrow" (Matt. 19:21-22)? Is it not because they were beggars, and this one had "great possessions", they had nothing but God, and this one had "treasures on earth"? And the Lord says: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 4:3). In the ancient copies of the Gospel of Luke, it is even simpler and more direct: "Blessed are the poor, for yours is the kingdom of God" (Luke 6:20). Blessed are those who feel that they have nothing in this life, even though they possess much, who feel that no earthly acquisition can replace God for man. Blessed are those who go and sell all their wealth in order to acquire one pearl of great price, faith (Matt. 13:45-46). Blessed are those who have come to know that without God they are beggars, who have thirsted and hungered for Him with all their souls, minds, and wills. But in our time, people are so absorbed in the problems of earthly existence that many simply do not have time to hear this word and think about God. Sometimes religiosity boils down to the fact that they celebrate Christmas and Easter and observe some other rituals just in order not to "tear themselves away from their roots", from national traditions. Somewhere religion suddenly becomes "fashionable", and people go to church in order to keep up with their neighbors. But the main thing for many is business life, work. "Business people" are a special generation of people of the 20th century, for whom nothing exists except their own function in some kind of "business", business, which absorbs them completely and does not leave the slightest light or pause necessary to hear the voice of God. This call, perhaps, is not always identified with the idea of the Divine and subjectively is often perceived simply as a kind of dissatisfaction, inner anxiety, search. And only years later, a person realizes that his entire previous life was so incomplete and flawed because there was no God in it, without Whom there is no and cannot be the fullness of being. "Thou hast created us for Thyself," says Blessed Augustine, "and our heart is restless until it rests in Thee."1 God's call can be likened to an arrow with which God, like an experienced hunter, wounds the soul of man. A bleeding and non-healing wound makes the soul, forgetting about everything, look for a doctor. The soul of the one who feels the call becomes obsessed with a burning attraction to God. "And the thoughts of such a soul," writes St. Macarius of Egypt, "burn with spiritual love and an irrepressible craving for ever more glorious and radiant beauties of the spirit, languish with irrepressible love for the heavenly Bridegroom and... they yearn for the most sublime and greatest, which can no longer be expressed in words, nor comprehended by human reason... Through great labors, efforts, long asceticism and perfect struggle... such souls are always enraptured by the heavenly spiritual mysteries and carried away by the diversity of God's beauty, seeking in great thirst for the best and greatest. For in the Divine Spirit there is contained a varied and inexhaustible, ineffable and inconceivable beauty, which opens itself to worthy souls for joy and delight and life and consolation, so that the pure soul, languishing hourly with a strong and ardent love for the heavenly Bridegroom, will never again look back at earthly things, but will be wholly embraced by attraction to Him [2]." Augustin. Confessions 1, 1 ^ Macarius of Egypt. New spiritual conversations. Moscow, 1990. pp. 49-50 ^

Multiple paths

People come to God in different ways. Sometimes an encounter with God is sudden and unexpected, sometimes it is prepared by a long path of searching, doubts, and disappointments. In some cases, God "overtakes" a person, taking him by surprise, in others - a person finds God, turns to Him himself. This conversion can occur sooner or later, in childhood and adolescence, in maturity and old age. And there are no two people who would come to God the same way. And there is no well-trodden path along which one could go instead of another. Everyone here is a pioneer, everyone has to go all the way on his own and find his personal God, to Whom we say: "God, You are my God!" (Psalm 62:2). God is the same for all people, but He must be revealed by me and become mine.One example of the sudden conversion of a person is the Apostle Paul. Before his apostleship he had been an orthodox Jew and hated Christianity as a harmful and dangerous sect: "breathing threats and murder," he went to Damascus, intending to do much harm to the Church. And as he was approaching the city, "suddenly a light from heaven shone upon him; and he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, Saul, Saul, why persecute me? He said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus, whom thou persecutest" (Acts 9:1-5). Blinded by the Divine light, Saul lost his sight - for three days he did not see, did not eat or drink. And then he accepted Baptism, regained his sight and became an apostle of Christ - the one who was destined "above all" to labor in the preaching of the Gospel (1 Cor. 15:10). And immediately after his Baptism, he went to preach the Christ Who revealed Himself to him personally, Who became his God. As a child, he was an unbeliever, and what he heard about Christ did not arouse any sympathy for Christianity. One day, indignant at a priest's sermon, he decided to see if Christianity was really as unattractive as it was portrayed in sugary stories. He took the New Testament, chose the shortest of the four Gospels so as not to waste much time, and began to read. "While I was reading the Gospel of Mark," he tells himself, "between the first chapter and the beginning of the third, I suddenly felt that on the other side of the table before which I was sitting, Someone was standing invisibly, but absolutely perceptibly. Looking up, I saw nothing, heard nothing, I had no sensory sensations, but I was absolutely sure that Jesus Christ was standing on the other side of the table... This was the beginning of a whole revolution for me... I felt that there was no other task in life than to share with others the life-transforming joy that had opened up to me in the knowledge of God and Christ. And then, as a teenager, at the right time and at the wrong time, at school, in the subway, in children's camps, I began to talk about Christ as He revealed Himself to me: as life, as joy, as meaning, as something so new that it renewed everything... I could have said with the Apostle Paul: "Woe is me, if I do not preach the gospel" (1 Cor. 9:16). Woe, because not to share this miracle would be a crime before God, who performed this miracle, and before people who all over the earth are now thirsting for the living word about God, about man, about life. .. [1] "Less sudden, but no less unexpected, was the conversion to religion of the French yachtsman Bernard Moitessier. As a participant in round-the-world single races, the winner of which was waiting for a huge cash prize and world fame, he confidently moved to the finish line and had every chance to count on victory - a solemn meeting was already being prepared for him in England. Unexpectedly for everyone, he changed the route and directed the yacht to the shores of Polynesia... Only a few months later, it was possible to find out why he was out of the game. Being alone with the ocean and the sky for a long time, he thought more and more deeply about the meaning of life, and the goal that he had to achieve - money, success, fame - seemed less and less attractive to him. In the ocean he felt the breath of eternity, felt the presence of God and no longer wanted to return to the usual worldly vanity.Of course, turning to God is not always sudden and unexpected: more often a person searches for a long time before he finds. Blessed Augustine had to go through many errors and trials, read many philosophical and theological books, before he realized at the age of thirty-three that he could not live without God. In our time, some people begin to seek abstract and abstract "truth" through books, and come to the revelation of God the Person. Sometimes people come to Christianity in a roundabout way - through Eastern religions and cults, Buddhism, yoga. Others come to God after experiencing a catastrophe: the loss of a loved one, sorrow, illness, frustration of hopes. In misfortune, a person feels his poverty, understands that he has lost everything and has nothing but God. Then he can call out to God de profundis - from the depths (Psalm 129:1), from the abyss of grief and hopelessness. Christ said: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify the Heavenly Father" (Matt. 5:16). If Christians shone with divine light, if divine love were reflected in their eyes, this would be the best testimony to God and proof of His existence. A certain young man decided to dedicate his life to God after seeing a priest who was transfigured before his eyes, like Christ on Tabor, and shone with heavenly light... There is also what seems to be the most natural path to God: a child is born into a religious family and grows up to be a believer. And yet, faith, although it can be received from ancestors, must be comprehended or suffered by the person himself, must become part of his own experience. There are cases when atheists came from religious or even priestly families: suffice it to recall Chernyshevsky and Dobrolyubov, who both came from the clergy, but broke with the religiosity of their ancestors... Believers are not born. Faith is given, but it is given through the efforts and podvig of the one who sought it. Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh. Conversations about Faith and the Church. Moscow, 1991. Ss. 3 covers and 308-309 ^