We Must Help Young People Follow Their Calling

Each person has his own calling. The good God created man free. God is noble: He honors the freedom of man and leaves everyone free to follow the path that he likes. God does not line everyone up according to the laws of barracks discipline. Therefore, let the young leave themselves free in the spiritual space of God's freedom. If they look up to what kind of life so-and-so has chosen for himself, it will not benefit them. In choosing a life path, a person should not be subject to anyone's influence.

Parents, spiritual fathers, teachers, without exerting pressure on a young person, without stepping on his throat, must help him choose the life that he can handle - and follow his calling. The decision to choose a life path should be made by the young people themselves. We—everyone else—can just express our opinions. We have the right only to help the souls of the young to find their way.

Sometimes, when I talk to young people who find it difficult to choose a path in life, I see in which direction the scales are tilting, but I do not tell them about it, so as not to influence their own choices. I try to do only one thing: to help them, as much as possible, to find the right path and inner peace. From what is to their liking, I try to exclude everything harmful and leave the good, the holy, so that already in this life they live joyfully, with God, and in eternal life they rejoice even more. I tell you sincerely: whatever life this or that young man I know chooses, I will be glad in any case. I will be equally concerned about the salvation of his soul - if only he is with Christ, lives in the Church. I will feel like his brother, because such a person is a child of our Mother Church.

Of course, I am especially happy for those young people who are entering the path of monasticism. After all, a person who follows this angelic life is truly wise, since he does not fall for the devil's bait, where the world is put on the hook as bait. However, you can't equate everyone with the same brush. After all, Christ, not wishing to force all people to bear a heavy burden, did not give everyone the commandment about monasticism, despite the fact that monasticism is the path to perfection. Therefore, when the young man of the Gospel asked Christ how he could be saved [1], Christ answered him: "Keep the command" [2]. When the young man told Christ that he kept the commandments, and asked, "Why am I not yet finished?" [3] - Christ answered: "Thou hast not finished the one [4]: if thou wilt be accomplished, go, if thou hast sold... and come, and walk in the wake of Me..." [5]. That is, Christ spoke to man about perfection, seeing that he was curious, but did not drag people [to perfection] on a lasso. Christ did not teach monasticism either, because by doing so He would inflame [the hearts of] people, and it is possible that many would unwisely hurry to become monks, and this would lead to evil. Christ only sparked the spark [of a perfect life], and when the time came for him to come, monasticism appeared.

In the same way, we have no right to rape other people. We have the right to force only ourselves, but we must do this with reason. I have not yet said to any young man definitely: "Get married" or "Go to a monastery." If someone asks me which path to take, I answer: "Do as you like, as long as you are with Christ." And if a young man answers me that he does not like the world in the world, then I tell him about monasticism - to help a person find his own path.

Making a decision about choosing a life path

Years pass quickly. It is better that the young man does not stand indecisive at the crossroads for a long time. Let him, in accordance with his vocation and love, choose his cross - one of the two paths - and walk on it, trusting in Christ. Let him follow Christ to the Crucifixion, if he wants to rejoice in the joy of His Resurrection. Both family and monastic life have their own bitterness, but if a person lives with God, then this bitterness is sweetened by the Sweet Jesus.

After thirty, it is no longer easy to choose a path in life. And the more years a person has behind him, the more difficulties he experiences. It is easier for a young person to adapt to the chosen life - be it marriage or monasticism. After all, an adult measures and feels everything by means of common sense. It has an already formed character, like a cast concrete structure - it is not easy to change. Look: people who enter the path of family or monastic life at a young age preserve the simplicity of a child until their very old age. I knew a couple who got married young. The wife was like her husband in everything - in the manner of speaking, in her actions. Since they married young, one of the spouses adopted all the habits of the other: both in speech and in the manner of behavior. But it was also easier for them to get used to each other [than those who marry late].

"Either marry in your youth, or cut your hair when young," says the proverb. It is especially important for a girl to make a decision about choosing a life path before she turns twenty-five years old. After twenty-five, it is no longer so easy to get married or go to a monastery, because the girl begins to think that she will obey someone else's will. The older a girl becomes, the more whims and whims she has. And who needs it? And if the years are lost, then she wants to get married not in order to create a family, but, mainly, to be under someone's protection, guardianship.

It has been noticed that if a young man or a girl constantly postpones his or her marriage "for later", then, after the years have passed, he or she is looking for a partner and does not find one. In their youth, they chose themselves, but now the years have passed, and they are now chosen by others. That's why I say that sometimes a little extravagance is necessary in creating a family. We need to turn a blind eye to some insignificant trifles, because there is no such thing that everything is as we want. Once it began to rain, and water ran along the bed of a mountain river. There were two people standing on the shore, they had to cross to the opposite side. One was very smart, and the other was a fool. "The rain will stop," the wise man began to think, "the water will subside, and after that I will be able to cross to the other side." And the fool did not wait - he jumped into the water and waded across the river. Of course, his clothes got wet, but he was able to get where he wanted. And the rain, instead of stopping, poured down harder and harder. The stream became turbulent and full-flowing. And in the end, the smart one remained standing on his bank - because it was already dangerous to cross the river.

Some people have great pride, selfishness, and therefore God does not help them. Some children come to Athos from year to year, come to me in the kaliva and ask: "What does God want from me, father?" They did not become monks, nor did they create a family. You might think that they are golden, and they are afraid that they will be used in some reinforced concrete structure, like a simple piece of iron! And there are those who ask me: "Geronda, what should I do: become a monk or get married? Tell me, what is my calling?" - "What do you want yourself?" "And get married," they answered, "and become a monk." That is, they want both! But if I tell them my thoughts that, for example, their vocation is family life and they get married, and family life will not be to their liking, then they will come to me and express their complaints: "It was you who told me to choose this path, and now I am suffering!"

- Geronda, how can this happen?

- Well, let's assume that the vocation of a young man is family life, but he also thinks about monasticism. If, after getting married, he is inattentive and does not create a good family, and he has problems that he will not solve spiritually, then the evil one will raise a battle of thoughts against him. "Your vocation was in monasticism," the enemy will say to him. "But since you're married, that's what you want." That is, the enemy will not leave such a person alone day or night.