On Faith, Unbelief, and Doubt

In the seminary we heard boring stories about the "Holy Fathers," taught "about" their writings in church history and the history of preaching. But no one has ever picked up a single book from their creations. I'm afraid to blame, but I doubt that the teachers themselves are interested in them – outside the textbook... But for the time being, in fact, I do not want to talk about them, but only about one random passage.In the academy (not immediately) I had to read the works of St. John Chrysostom, I think, a commentary on the Book of Genesis. And in one place I came across the following thought in his mind: if you, he advises his listeners, do not understand something in the Scriptures, then do not grieve over it, but simply accept it on faith, without reasoning, for this is the Word of God, and God speaks only one truth... Accept it with all certainty, for one thing, that it is the Word of God... I read something similar, albeit in different expressions, and, like a former seminarian brought up in idolatry of the mind, I pondered with doubt: does Chrysostom himself really believe and think as he tells others? Is it possible that he believes the Word of God so "simply" as some peasant woman in the village? No, I thought, it was he who, for pedagogical purposes, persuaded only the simple to think and believe in the Word of God, in the Scriptures: but he himself could not think so. Why, for him, I judged by myself, it is impossible. How? He is such a brilliantly intelligent and learned person, and that he just believes in such a rural way?! It's not possible to fit into my head... Alas! I was not yet "kindred" to him from this side, and therefore "did not contain" (John 16:12) him. And it took me a long time to be able to accommodate it. Why? This incident gives me the opportunity to raise the general question of the significance of the "Word of God" or "Holy Scripture" for living faith.Perhaps it may seem strange to some: how could I, a seminarian, and a believing seminarian at that, be so suspicious of the words of Chrysostom, or rather, of the power of Scripture? I will lift the veil a little over this strangeness, which is probably not known to everyone.We, in the theological school, and even more so in the seminary, have established an extremely ridiculous attitude to the Bible, to the texts, to the Word of God: cold distrust... Even when we studied Metropolitan Philaret's Catechism at school (a thing worthy of all respect for beginners), the texts cited never had a convincing effect on us. For example: God is omnipresent. How can you see it? And immediately the words of the Psalmist are quoted: "Where shall I go from Thy Spirit? And where do I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend to heaven, Thou art there: if I descend into hell, there art Thou," etc., etc. The question is "proved" and settled... We learned, answered. But they were not convinced. What kind of proof is this, I thought in our little head. After all, the Word of God and God are all united together... It is the believer who confesses only his faith. And I need some extraneous "proof" that this is really, "objectively", right... How could this be done? The answer is ready: with the mind. All school wisdom was imbued with faith in the superiority of reason over faith, rationalism, and the scholastic method of "proving" the objects of faith. But neither our teachers nor we, infants, exercised their minds in the theological school. And therefore we remained dissatisfied... And in the seminary, this cold attitude towards the Bible grew even more. To begin with, we have never deeply not only felt in our hearts, but have not even thought about these very words: the word, the speech, the conversation, the revelation of God... God says... True, something in the 1st grade was told to us by the teacher of St. John. L.'s writings on this subject: on importance, on value, on reverent attitude [1], etc. But all this flew past our hearts: there was nothing to cling to, we did not yet love the Word of God... And only through love is knowledge given (1 Cor. 8:3). And very rarely, only in our answers, we called the Scriptures "the Word of God," and for the most part we talked about the Bible or the Holy Scriptures, or in short, about the Scriptures. And although we were taught that before reading the "Word of God" we need to pray, cross ourselves and even kiss it, we never did this (and I do not remember that the teachers themselves did). If they had done this, which, in fact, would have been true, and wonderful, and instructive for us, then we would have quietly laughed at such an eccentric. But when they stood in church, and at the all-night vigil, in orderly order, approached and "venerated" the Gospel, it was completely natural, venerable, and reverent... And they listened to the Gospel in church with true faith and holy reverence... But in the classroom it was completely different: studying, or something, but we never showed respect for the Bible. Neither to its internal content, nor even to its appearance. In the 1st grade of the seminary, we were given a copy of the Slavonic Bible as a gift from the Synod for the entire course of study. We took it and indifferently, with other textbooks, put it in the desks. There were, they say, other examples, that at the end of the seminary, students with malicious glee, tore up Bibles and swept them around the classroom. I don't remember such a general outrage. Only one or two of the mischievous people, and even then in the first grades, tore up the holy book, but the others did not do this, but were simply not interested. And so, by the 6th grade, many of us had Bibles disappearing somewhere... We don't know where. And in the last 2nd grades we already used the Russian-Slavonic New Testament.But if the Bible was the same textbook as the others (history, algebra, geometry, psychology, etc.), then the attitude towards it was completely similar: cold. Since it's a textbook, it's no longer interesting! But if there were something "forbidden", forbidden – then it would be a different matter. And the Bible never captured us internally. It was not that we did not believe in its content: we accepted everything, but we were indifferent to everything: whether the world was created out of nothing; the crossing of the Red Sea, the miracle of Jonah in the belly of a whale [2], etc. They believed everything: and school science also "proved" the possibility of miracles, trying to reduce the mystery of the miracle to the smallest detail, but at the same time to explain it as naturally and "realistically" as possible. Well, the whale may not be the whale itself with its small neck, which is incapable of swallowing a man [3], but a whale-like shark, or even a large fish, colloquially called a whale, etc. Or the water did not simply part into two walls: on the right and left sides of the Jews (Exodus 14:22), as it is obviously said in the Scriptures, but the wind drove it from the bay into the sea (the wind is also mentioned, Article 21). Of course, the teachers did not deny the words of Scripture, but they still wanted to "prove" somehow "naturally" and not supernaturally. And we, the seminarians, wanted precisely this, the mental proof. And we (and probably the teachers) were afraid of simple faith — as a matter if not impossible, then unreliable... This is how our whole school was organized: scholastically and rationally. Of course, this method was not always fruitless, but for the heart. For example, I now recall almost the only case of a cosmological "proof" of the existence of God... I was still a boy in the 1st class of the seminary; a "pupil" of the 5th grade, A—B, was walking with me along the bank of the Tsna River, and for some reason we started talking about God: he told me (from the philosophy course in the 4th grade of the seminary) about this proof: everything has a reason and a beginning, it is also necessary for the world, he himself could not appear from nothing; consequently, the creative action of another First Cause, i.e., God, was necessary. And when I heard this, my believing heart rejoiced and sparkled so much that I almost saw Him, "the Almighty, the Creator of heaven and earth, visible to all and invisible"... I was very happy... My heart has always sought strength in my faith. Later I learned about Kant's criticism of all the "proofs", but then I was glad. And other "rational" explanations still helped to hold on to faith against the waves of doubt and the onslaught of unbelief. Thanks to the seminary sciences for this... But, as I have already repeated, there was still more harm from this "intellectual" method: we had learned to fear "secrets," we degraded the simple "village" faith, considered it unworthy of the "educated" people of "our" intellectual age. And therefore the Scriptures were not convincing to us: they did not prove, but only affirmed. We wanted proof, "justification" of him from the outside. Thus, a complete perversion resulted: God wanted to reveal and affirm the truth through the Scriptures – about the world, about man, about history, about salvation – so that people would not be tormented by ignorance or fall into falsehood. And we did not trust God (!), but demanded confirmation of Him... Isn't it ridiculous? I read how a learned Englishman presented his king with a large scholarly work in defense of the Bible. The king accepted, thanked him, but sensibly remarked: "Hitherto I thought that everything else needed to be defended and proved by the Bible, and you defend it itself?" The same thing happened to us, the "spiritual fathers" and especially the seminarians. Only, unfortunately, we did not have such kings around us and did not yet have our own "king in our heads" and experience. We still had little genuine, ardent, deep faith in God; but there was also a lack of depth of mind to understand the real importance and extraordinary significance for the truth of the Word of God.That is why I did not believe the holy genius Chrysostom and his sincere simplicity. But, on the other hand, I could not suspect him of lying, even if it was well-intentioned, for the sake of "these little ones": this did not reconcile itself with the holiness of his countenance and with the sincerity of his tone. And I remained in thought, and no longer believed him... What you can't survive yourself, you don't believe in others! (all according to the same law of knowledge – affinity).I have noticed many times how unbelieving people did not believe in my sincerity in faith. And I could not understand: how was it possible, for example, not to read Gorky and not even be interested in literature at all? And when I heard about this from one of the most learned theologians, I sincerely ... I felt sorry for him: how "uneducated" he was! We all measure – by ourselves, by our own measure... And I, for a long time, continued to stay in the seminary's stripped-down clothes: I did not give strength to the Scriptures. I preferred to him "science", intelligence, "proofs"... But gradually, in the course of perhaps two years, I grew up and understood the complete sincerity of Chrysostom and the absolute faithfulness of his advice... This continued to become clear to me afterwards; and now I will bring together my experiences on the Scriptures, more precisely and better, on the holy Word of God, in order to share them with you.Yes, we seminarians were profoundly wrong in our attitude towards it, both from the side of faith and from the side of reason. This is now very clear to me and easy to prove. From the point of view of faith, it is the easiest. If I am a believer (and we were believers, but not deeply, not alive), then for me the Bible is the "Word of God," that is, God Himself, the Spirit of God, speaks through it. "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God" (2 Tim. 3:16). So how can I not take it? How can I doubt? How else can I look for support for him in anything inferior? "Quite obvious absurdity! So why didn't we see her then? Because they did not believe enough, they did not believe enough, they did not believe vividly... Faith was "according to tradition" more... And also because they were infected with excessive school "faith" in the mind, like all the intellectuals of that period (the nineteenth century, especially its second half). It was only later, when I gradually clarified the foundations of religious and any other epistemology (theory of knowledge). Then I saw the complete — to the point of self-evident — inadequacy of the mind in the sphere of the objects of faith, its complete unsuitability, inapplicability, even illegality in the sphere of the supernatural world, which is not characteristic of it... Fortunately for me, I was completely disappointed in the autocracy of mind and knowledge; I smashed this idol to pieces and threw it overboard my soul and my own mind: by my mind I was freed from the imaginary chains of the mind. And what freedom I got from it! But we will talk about this later... In the meantime, I will apply these conclusions to the Word of God... When I broke the chains of the mind, at the same time I realized (gradually, of course) that in order to strengthen the foundations and particular truths of faith, I did not need an incapable mind, but the self-revelation of that world. I already knew that the path of all knowledge is the direct revelation of being itself to the "knower," or more precisely, to the perceiving subject. And the same path is the only applicable one in religious "knowledge": God and His truths are revealed by Himself... It cannot be otherwise. This is true for a number of reasons. This is self-evident. And even if it were not yet "obvious", then it should be accepted for the time being by trusting in the reliable witness of the truth: God. There is no other basis for truth. In the same way, reason led me to faith: and he led himself away as an incompetent teacher here... I will set out my thoughts in more detail later. And inwardly, both by faith and from my mind, I understood Chrysostom's advice about the "simplicity" of perceiving the Scriptures... And little by little I stood firmly on this ground and stand on it to this day... True, I had already succeeded in this not quite "easy": it was necessary to go through a considerable school of philosophical struggle against philosophy, to understand and overcome the false path of rationalism, to return to the knowledge of the exceptional importance of revelation; it was necessary to grow in faith; it is necessary, in short, to return again to the "simplicity" of faith. But this new simplicity was no longer the old, childish simplicity according to tradition, and not even from the heartfelt attraction of my own soul to unreasoning faith — no, the new simplicity had passed through the testing fire of "knowledge," through a different experience in spiritual life; And therefore it can be said that it is a "conscious" simplicity, conscious, justified... And now it is stronger than inexperienced, "childish" simplicity. Now I am no longer afraid of secrets or miracles, I am no longer looking for wind for the walls of water, nor for a cetacean shark for Jonah. I believe the Scriptures as they are, for they are the word, the revelation of God himself! And I believe in God... Why I believe, and how I believe, is another question; More on it later. But I believe. I believe — well, if only because I have no other foundation for the truth — after the fragmentation of the mind. But there are other reasons for this. And I stand on the foundation of the Scriptures, lean on the Word of God. It became an authority for me. And now this is what I do. When some incomprehensible question comes before my consciousness, I turn to God's revelation and see: what is it, what does God Himself say? And even though I understood absolutely nothing intellectually, now these misunderstandings do not bother me in the slightest, as it was in the seminary; Even I rejoice at this incomprehensibility: this is how it should be for the mind, even if it "contradicts" – as one wrongly speaks of difference, of "opposite", but not of the "contradiction" of different worlds – to my mind; I calmly read the Word of God and accept what is said completely peacefully and convincingly: God Himself has spoken! What more? What is more beautiful? What is more evident? "I will take the celebration of the Sacrament of the Eucharist... It is frightening for the mind to think: bread and wine are transformed into the Body and Blood of Christ... This is no longer bread or wine, but the living Christ Himself! The God-Man Himself, God.. I personally heard how an unbelieving interlocutor with an undisguised smile of an "all-understanding" person told me that not only did he not believe it himself, but he was sure that I, "as an educated intellectual", also did not believe in this "impossible" thing and deceived others as if I did... I understood perfectly well all his unbelief: I had known it for a long time. But he could not understand me, for my experience of faith and knowledge was not yet accessible to him. I have declared to him and declare that I fully believe in the immutability of the truth of the transubstantiation of bread and wine into Body and Blood... But was it possible that my mind was not disappointed by this obvious perplexity and was not confused by doubt: how can all this be? "Oh, so many times!" They did not always come from faith. They are very diverse. But now, when I speak of the Scriptures, I will point out only one of them. Why do I believe this? This was absolutely categorically and repeatedly affirmed by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, the Truth Himself ("I am... Truth", Jn. 14:6): "Take, eat: this is my body"... "Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood..." (Matt. 26:26-28). "He that eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood abideth in me" (John 6:56)... By this the carnal minds of the Jews and even some of the disciples of Jesus were tempted by this, and they completely departed. But He did not stop them, nor did He say that they had misunderstood Him "simply" and not "symbolically." On the contrary, He even addressed the twelve: "Do you also want to depart?" – thus asks the self-confident Truth, not afraid of human weakness.. And the twelve did not depart. Peter said, "Lord! To whom shall we go?" Truly, there is no one else. And it is possible and necessary to come to Thee, for Thou alone "hast the words of eternal life" — both salvific and certain, true (John 6:67-69). So am I... The question is again different: why exactly do I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and, consequently, in His Gospel... I will tell you about this further. But if I believe in Him, I accept His Words, His revelations, as indestructibly certain: God has spoken! No more questions! So it is! Such is the truth! And I accept in all its fullness and depth the Mystery for the mind, but the truth for the soul, about the Body and the Blood.. And these questions do not always arise. Although, as we know, we are not free in the logical associations of ideas; and they can come against even our desires; But still, there are no questions. And if they do, then you push them aside with the "hand" of all previous faith, intellect and experience – you calmly and firmly perform the sacrament further... There are other foundations for this faith of mine (the authority of the Church, the Fathers, the experiences of the saints, even some mental supports); but one of the strongest foundations is the Revelation of the Word of God, the Word of God Himself: "Speech and it shall be!" As long as this is not revealed to our spirit, then for the carnal mind this truth seems not only incomprehensible, but even seemingly unacceptable, also "contradicting" the "laws" of the mind: 3 and 1? "Impossible." But my "epistemology" has long ago proved to me mathematically that our little mind does not even dare to stutter at all about any "impossibility" in other worlds... This is already the final point for him! True, it is incomprehensible to him (and "me"). Undoubtedly! But that's all. No more! Not a single step further. "I don't understand" – this is correct and humble and logical. And I don't understand it intellectually. But for the time being (before the experience of "face to face" – 1 Cor. 13:12) I accept... On what grounds? Revealed, said, given! At least this one thing: teach and baptize "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit"! (Matt. 28. 19). Everyone is equal, but the "name" is one. In abundance! I do not even dare to torture the mystery: "Mystery does not tolerate trial," says the church stichera... And my mind knows this exactly, clearly, even from philosophical conclusions. And my heart does not like to "torture" at all: it is audacious and sinful even for the sake of faith and from experience... Not to mention again: and contrary to the mind (the fool spoke in his heart...). And I believe, I believe in the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I believe and confess! Revelation is given—not is—in the same way in the incomprehensible incarnation of the Son of God. So it is with the Grace of the Holy Spirit. To the future afterlife. In the sacraments. To the Church. Everything rests on the foundation of the Scriptures, on the unmistakable Word of God: God has spoken! And I began to read His Word, not in a seminarian way, but in a Christian way. Hitherto it had been chiefly an "external" authority for me: by believing in God, I was thereby induced to "receive" His word. But gradually and repeatedly, thousands of times, the truth of Scripture, and especially of the Gospel, began to manifest itself to me from within. I will explain this. There are two main ways of action of the word of God: one is natural, and the other is supernatural, one is more or less ordinary, heartfelt, intellectual, the other is spiritual, mysterious, grace-filled. You can add a third, additional, historical-critical one... And all of them are "scientific" – only in different ways... I'll explain.I'll start with the last one. Many scholars and defenders of the Gospels have tried to find out: What is the basis for the reliability of these sources of our faith? And there were many answers, almost from the very beginning of the Gospel and the Epistles, to the present day. There are a number of brochures in which this material is collected. I will not dwell on it now, but I will only mention, for example, an interesting preface by the secular writer, lawyer of St. Petersburg B. Gladkov [4]. In the preface to his interpretation of the Gospel, he reports from his autobiography that he was, like many of his comrades and contemporaries, an unbeliever, tormented by dissatisfaction, wondered at the peace of the soul among Christians, and wondered what it rested on them. — On faith in Christ the Savior. And what is their faith based on? — First of all, on the Gospel. What is the source of its reliability? Is it certain? "And he decided to examine the question historically and critically: how long ago and whether the Gospels were written down. And it turned out that there is historical evidence from the first century, and there is no need to talk about the second century, from which it becomes clear that the Gospels were very close to their events; the witnesses, or at least the hearers of the eyewitnesses of Christ, were still alive. And Gladkov accepted the Gospels and faith in Christ with them... A very interesting and instructive preface for beginners... Fr. John of Kronstadt greatly approved of the publication of this book. But I do not appreciate this method very much, although I recognize its relative value, especially for people who have not yet broken away from the worship of reason and "science"; And now it seems rather boring to me. I read this material without a flutter of heart; perhaps in the seminary I would have read with satisfaction, but then I still believed in the mind.Therefore, a slightly different method seems more convincing to me: the inner reliability of the Gospel. But first I will tell you about an outside witness. I have a friend, a Jewish Christian, the most learned philosopher in the world, a professor at the University of F [5]. I once asked him how he, a Jew, a very learned man, came to the Christian faith. And moreover, sincerely, not forced by anyone... And even after he had lived with his Christian wife for 13 years in Judaism, or rather, in intellectual indifference. And he wrote to me that the Gospel led him to faith... What exactly? — By its "inner authenticity"... That is, to him, as a very intelligent, open-minded and sincere person, when reading the Gospels, it became simply obvious that it was written by eyewitnesses, completely sincere people; that this is not a poetic legendary "work", but ingenuous notes "about events perfectly known among us" (Luke 1:1). But all this paled before the obvious certainty of the real facts. And there remained one of two things: either stubbornly, contrary to one's own conscience and mind, not to believe, or, on the contrary, to accept the facts, i.e., as they say, "believe"; although here, for the learned mind, in fact, faith was not needed, as "assurance of things not seen" (Heb. 11:1), but a simple acceptance of what was seen by others, but reliable, "who were from the very beginning eyewitnesses and ministers of the Word" (Luke 1:2). He did not persist: as an intelligent and sincere person, it would have been unbearable for him. And he was baptized... To the joy, of course, of the family, which never dared to "teach a scientist"... It is interesting, however, that later he nevertheless succumbed to the patina of doubts — moreover, completely logically unjustified — this is very indicative: here we are already faced with another way of affirming faith — grace-filled and experienced, and, consequently, this natural way of accepting faith — by trust in reliable witnesses and by the forced certainty of events — does not yet solve the whole matter. And it is understandable: until a person himself perceives something personally, directly, until then other people's testimonies seem to us to be half-dead alien capital, which we have only temporarily used. And it is quite another matter when the same reliable testimonies fall under a ready-made faith (whether it is traditional "childish" or already experienced, "one's own"), then "other" messages will be joyfully perceived, as well as our own. However, even without our faith, the undoubted inner authenticity of the Gospels led not only the learned philosopher, but also millions of other people to faith. This character of simplicity of records is especially characteristic of the Gospel of Mark, because it was written down from the words of the simplest fisherman Peter by his disciple Mark. The other Evangelists, Matthew (a former customs official, a publican), Luke (an educated physician and writer), and John (also a fisherman, but who gradually reached the height of contemplation) were more, so to speak, "cultured" and already had, each in his own way, plans and special tasks in writing his Gospels. And Peter, without any systems, told the main events from the life of his Lord. The believer asked Mark to write it down; And he tried—O God! — to capture guilelessly and literally. All this is obvious to any unbiased reader. And I would advise everyone to check it by experience: take this Gospel now and read it anywhere. Well, for example: about the calling of the apostles (chapter 1, verse 16 ff.), about the healing of Peter's mother-in-law, about the bringing to Jesus Christ "at the onset of evening, when the sun was setting" (32), "the sick and demon-possessed," and so on. and so on... I testify that having read the Gospel thousands of times, especially from Mark, I can say that I "saw" the events that took place in this "Holy Land"... And there was simply no doubt about the undoubted authenticity of all that was described; and if I did not accept it, then I would have to either go mad or speak against the obvious. And especially I have always and until now been pleased and strengthened by the thousands of details scattered here and there throughout the Gospels. I have already written a special small manuscript about this (it is in Sh.'s possession); "Details of the Gospel events": there are enough facts there. But in order not to refer my readers to this unknown source now, and fearing that they themselves will be too lazy to open the Gospel and read it for at least 10-15 minutes, and in order to immediately give live illustrations of the above thoughts for these notes, I will gladly devote a few pages to vivid examples of inner "authenticity"... It is pleasant for me to enjoy the "sight" of Christ... Moreover, I will especially note what sometimes passes by our attention. The Lord, the Son of God, the God-man, spent yesterday with His disciples, in the evening "He healed many who were suffering from various diseases; cast out many demons" (Mark 1:35), of course, he was tired like a man, and the apostles were tired with Him. Night fell; all fell asleep somewhere in a hospitable hut.The tired disciples, who had been tired from fishing before, slept soundly. And they did not hear what Jesus did. And while everyone was resting so sweetly — "in the morning, rising up very early" — when it was still dark, He probably "went out" unnoticed, so as not to disturb His tired co-workers and to be left alone: "And He withdrew into a deserted place, and there He prayed" (35). Then the disciples woke up. They began to look for Him. In the morning, of course, the people, who had seen with their own eyes so many beneficial miracles the day before, soon gathered, and asked: "Where is He?" "Simon and those who were with Him" nevertheless found Him and "said to Him, 'All seek Thee'" (36:37). Or else. "A great storm arose; the waves were hitting the boat, so that it was already filled with water. And He was asleep." Where is? "At the stern," and "at the head." Something was placed under His Divine, Divine-human head... The frightened students did not sleep. They wake him up. And getting up, He rebuked the wind and said to the sea: "Be still, cease!" And oh, the wondrous miracle: "The wind ceased, and there was a great silence"... And this is immediately – which is completely unnatural: the waves on the lake still beat for hours with the so-called "dead swell" after the storm has ceased (4., 37-39). Here is another amazing miracle of feeding five thousand people with five loaves of bread, not counting women and children... So it was about seven or eight thousand, probably. That was the interest of the Jewish Israel, which was chosen by God at that time. Is it so now?The Lord "commanded... Seat everyone in squads on the green grass. And they sat down in rows, a hundred and fifty (Ch. 6, 39-40)... And the miracle happened with his own eyes. "And they gathered up the pieces of bread and the remains of the fish, twelve full baskets" (v. 43). I confess that I was worried even in theological school, when at the litiya I heard all these words during the blessing of round, clean white "loaves": "Lord Jesus Christ, our God bless" at that time "five loaves and five thousand satisfying, bless Thyself" and now, here, now, Thyself bless "and the loaves... and multiply them: was it possible that all these things really happened? Five loaves of bread for five thousand? Oh, how I wished, anxiously wished, that it had been, that it had been! And the mind was still afraid, afraid of "miracles"... And I was worried about the consecration of the "bread". And much later, when I began to believe the Word of God simply and firmly, I myself pronounced these holy words with calm determination; for he already knew, historically reliably knew: it happened! For it was "on the green grass"... And they sat in rows... And "twelve full boxes" were carried later... And on another occasion, when "there were about four thousand," they had been fed with seven loaves of bread and had gathered six baskets (chapter 8), He commanded them to "sit down on the ground" (v. 6). There is no mention of "green grass": it means that there was ordinary dry Palestinian soil; and there was, probably, a lowland, on which the greenery had not yet been scorched by the southern sun, which drew the attention of an observant local resident, a fisherman. The Savior sent 2 for a donkey. "They went and found a young donkey"... Where? In what position? — "tied at the gate in the street." The whole picture: the gate, the street, tied... "And they untied him" (11 ch., 4)... Interrogation at the trial... At first, when the Lord was falsely testified, "He was silent and answered nothing": everyone already understood that there was not enough evidence for a murder according to the law. Then the high priest asked directly: "Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?" that is, God? Christ "said: 'I' (ch. 14, 61-62). Then the high priest tore his garments, and said, "What more witnesses have we to do? You have heard blasphemy; What do you think? And they all found Him guilty of death" (v. 63-65) They condemned the Lord for having told the truth about Himself: "I am the Son of God"... The myrrh-bearers saw an angel in the empty tomb, a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in white clothes, and they were horrified. Having heard from him about the resurrection of the Lord, "they went out and fled" — well, of course, they fled! — "from the grave; they were seized with trembling and horror"... And then? "And they said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid" (16 chapters, 5, 8)... Gosh! How obvious it all is, clear to both the mind and the heart... Truly, undoubtedly, inwardly authentic! And only a preconceived soul or a recalcitrant one is able to deny visual facts. Through this authenticity, we grow "from faith to faith."And how many cases have there been when, quite unexpectedly, while reading the Gospels, and especially in church at the Liturgy, I suddenly saw such the slightest detail that had not even occurred to me before. Here are two or three more small examples... They are going to Jerusalem. "Jesus went before them, and they were terrified, and following him, they were afraid." Then He apparently stopped and, "calling the twelve," "began again to speak to them about what would happen to Him" (Chapter 10, 32). He began to ask to heal him. "Jesus stopped." Became... Waiting... "Ordered him to be called." "A blind man is called and they say (it is not known who; passed through the crowd) to him: do not be afraid, get up, he is calling you"... It doesn't even say who, but just "calls you"... What about the blind man? "He threw off his outer garment, got up and came (and did not run, where can a blind man run?) to Jesus." And he regained his sight (ch. 10, 46-52). Why did he "throw off his clothes"? I don't know. And now I don't understand. The detail is completely unnecessary. On the contrary, even: if he is "calling", then there is no need to think about clothes, but go quickly. And he threw it off. Perhaps you, the reader, can think of something? Interesting... Yes, all this was, was, was... Well, and the last detail. About the rooster. Only Peter himself knew the details of this terrible betrayal and, of course, remembered them: should he forget it? Other Evangelists (Matt. 26, Lk. 22, Jn. 18) speak of only the crowing of a rooster. And Peter (in Mark) speaks of two. With the help of John, "who was known to the high priest" (John 18:16), he entered the inner courtyard and warmed himself with others by the fire. It was a cold night. "One of the maidservants", "looking at him", recognized him: "And you were with Jesus..."Apparently, out of curiosity she went to look at the Wonderworker more than once: the servants know a lot from the masters... "But he renounced": "I don't know and I don't understand"... However, he was timid. And as soon as the servants left, he quietly "went out into the front yard." There were two fences." And the rooster crowed"... There were the "first roosters"... 9 p.m. But the maidservant, apparently a restless person, and had become infected by the hosts' enmity towards Jesus and the disciples, and went out a second time. She did not find Peter in the first courtyard, perhaps she asked the others where he was, and went out into the outer courtyard, "seeing him again, she began to say to those standing there, 'This is one of them'... Oh, how plausible all this is for a woman. You see?! "He denied again"... The maid is gone... "After a while," it was already approaching midnight, "those who were standing there" began to interrogate him again: "As if you were one of them." "And he began to swear and swear, I know not this man." "Then the rooster crowed a second time." It was the time of the "second roosters", as we used to say in the village. "And Peter remembered the word which Jesus had spoken to him" (Mark 14:72): "Before the crows twice, thrice shalt thou deny me" (30)... It came true... The other evangelists did not mention the "first roosters." And Peter remembered well... "And he began to weep" (ch. 14, 66-72) Ev. Matthew adds, "bitterly"... The renouncer himself did not dare to add this word: it would not have been humble for him to mention it himself... And he left the yard... Where did he go then with his tears? What was his ardent soul going through, which had just promised three or four hours ago: "If everyone is offended, but not me"?! (29) It is unknown... I think for a long time he wandered through the dark streets of sleepy Jerusalem and cried... and cried... and cried... And how not to cry?! And by morning he had already arrived at the place where the apostles usually gathered and spent the night. And he fell into a heavy sleep. But not for long. In the morning, probably, he was silent. His soul was tormented: he renounced.. Three times he renounced... And he continued to cry...

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... Have they felt, have they seen with certainty now how plausible, how authentic they are – in their very inner content, in the simple spirit of the narrators, in innumerable real details – how obvious the Gospels are?! And there is not even anything "supernatural", mystical, mysterious here; On the contrary, the mind, observation, intellectual intuition, if you like, "internally-scientifically", the truth arises in an indubitable form. Therefore, if I said before that religious supernatural objects are completely inaccessible to the mind, then I understood their very essence, and not their existence; it is beyond and above reason: God, the Trinity, the Incarnation, Grace, the other world are incomprehensible to the mind. But in Christ the God-Man, His natural side, the human one, is completely similar to our nature, and should be accessible to both perception and understanding (again, according to the law of affinity of our common nature), and was understandable. And here it is quite proper and even obligatory for our mind to seek certainty in the most natural ways: considerations, psychological comparisons, a sense of truth, etc. And the learned philosopher F., when he began to read the Gospel, without any difficulty "came to the evidence" of events with his mind. And I, from my experience, strongly advise reading the Gospel when we want to strengthen our faith, to rejoice in it, or when we find some doubt: no academies, no historical-critical research, no logical proofs can give as much as the "simplest" reading of the Gospels... This is an experience... And you understand why St. Seraphim [6] read all the Evangelists every week; why the mission begins with the most ordinary story of the events of the Gospel: why the Bible, and especially the New Testament, is published in all languages in millions of copies and is read more than any other book in the world. Nothing lifts the veil on the mystery of "the other world" so much; Nothing "reveals" so clearly the reality, truth, and objectivity of supernatural existence as precisely "revelation".And if we are lazy and cannot read a whole Evangelist a day, then at least we should devote some 3-5 minutes to it. Sometimes that's enough. Suddenly, you will unexpectedly find a new pearl or just refresh your soul with already known, but fading with time facts... And again the heart will play; and faith will be revived, like greenery sprinkled with morning dew... In extreme cases, read at least in doubts, in case of weakening of faith, in case of sorrows; and you will find both truth and comfort." Search the Scriptures," Christ Himself commanded the Jews, "but they bear witness of Me" (John 5:39). "Thou hast known from childhood the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus," says the Apostle Paul. Paul to Timothy (2 Tim. 3:15).And you need to read "simply", with an open heart, an unprejudiced mind. And then you don't even need to "search" for evidence, but only read simply. And the truth will shine from within. The face of Christ will be manifested with our own eyes... And how many such examples have there been...

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But this is what I have sometimes noticed and heard from others: one and the same Gospel at one time will sparkle with such a living rainbow of colors, so powerfully and convincingly reveal the truth, and at another time everything in it appears as if dead, cold, inactive. And the same details of events, completely irrefutable and reliable for the mind, do not make an impression this time. Professor F. also wrote to me about this about himself. And the seminarians read and taught, and all the knowledge fell only as a cold layer on the memory, but did not penetrate into the heart... And vice versa, sometimes your whole being trembles, trembles from two or three words read, especially in church." And so, the woman of that city, who was a sinner, having learned that He was reclining in the house of the Pharisee, brought an alabaster vessel with myrrh, and standing behind (in front of Him was the table around which the guests were "reclining" — Metropolitan Benjamin) at His feet and weeping, she began to pour tears on His feet, and to wipe the hair of her head, and kissed His feet, and anointed Him with myrrh" (Luke 7:11). 37-38). What sinner's heart would not have stood next to this happy woman (and the Lord did not call her a harlot, but "this woman", a venerable name (7, 44)... And how many tears have been shed in the world over her and with her for 2000 years... Why does such a difference happen? I have already noted that when reading the Gospels, it is not necessary to set any unusual, even decent goals, for example, to collect material for a future sermon, to mark important passages for composition, to try to memorize them, to turn them into material for lessons, lectures, etc. All this is extremely harmful to the action of the spirit of the Gospel, drives it away. I remember, for example, how, when I was already a teacher at the academy, I read the Gospels in my cell... It was light in the soul, interesting and lively for the mind... But so I decided to combine another task: to mark for my works some passages about the "Kingdom of God"... And as soon as I began to engage in this applied work, the light of the Gospel instantly went out. I tried to repeat, to chase two goals on the next day and on the third. Alas! Fruitlessly. The Gospel was dead... And I had to abandon the second task, and, asking the Lord for forgiveness, I humbled myself and began to read as before, "for the salvation of my soul"... And the dead man came to life... Here we are dealing with a religious law: the grace of God or God does not allow a person to use them not for Divine purposes, but for outsiders, earthly ones. This, in essence, is the Jewish materialistic approach to God, the Savior: you seek Me because you have "eaten the loaves," and you do not love Me Myself... And then the Lord hides His face... "He went through the crowd and disappeared." God, grace, and the Saviour cannot be "servant," slavish instruments in the hands of His creation: God is the Lord, the Lord of all, and not their instrument. Otherwise, a sin is committed against the 3rd commandment: "Thou shalt not receive the name of the Lord thy God in vain." But sometimes a person does not set himself practical goals, he reads simply, and the Word of God pales for him. And vice versa: when it does not expect, suddenly it will light up with an inner light and heal and revive... And then it is so irresistibly convincing that no doubt is even conceivable: the truth stands in the heart and mind with absolute certainty and power. The Word of God is God speaking. In the Word of God is hidden the power of Divine grace. And it, like everything of God, is not subject to the coercive laws of action. It is in her will either to manifest herself, or not to reveal herself, or to conceal herself. And then no natural conditions of ours – neither historical-critical calculations, nor facts of internally convincing reliability – will help us. On the contrary, they can even hinder the power of the light of truth, for we want to forcibly subjugate the higher Power with our lower powers: and this is beyond our power. This can threaten us with the danger of falling into magic. Grace is gone. And when it is gone, the outer shell of truth, the words, alone remain powerless and ineffective. Or in other words: the power remains in the word, but it is retained from us (or from me alone, and not from all) in action. And vice versa: when God Himself is pleased, then the light of life will shine even from simple words. In short: the truth, the Holy Spirit, Christ are hidden in the Scriptures, in His Word, they themselves are revealed to man. They themselves give their grace-filled light: and already in this light the light of Scripture begins to shine for us. I have already made a comparison: the sun illuminates the darkness of the night, and everything is visible. There is energy in electrical wires, but if it is covered, nothing can be seen; That is why the reading of the Gospels in church is furnished with the most reverent preparations: Let us hear... Wisdom!.. Let us listen to the Holy Gospel... Peace to all... Let us listen. The Gospel in wonderful covers. On a high table. With candles in front. During the reading, a special blessing is asked for reading; and he [7] told about his fellow academician N: he had lost his faith. Suffering from unbelief, he came with grief to E. F., of whose faith he was well aware. He asks for advice on what to do so that faith returns. E. F. gave him, apparently, a very simple answer: "Read the Gospel." The latter began to object incredulously, that he already knew it almost by memory and that nothing would come of it. He only told me to read "quite simply". Finally, he agreed. It was summer. The doubter occupied a rather high position of an official; and went on vacation to Finland. So it was this time... Autumn has come. The official again visited his friend, E. F., and happily declared that the faith had returned: he had read the Gospel during vacations... Another case. I was at a youth dinner in the Czech Republic. One of the students shared how he, the former "atheist," found faith again. "It turns out that he read the Holy Scriptures. Writing; But at first it was both uninteresting and fruitless. And then he came to the story of Saul's conversion. And the fact of this miraculous appearance of Christ to the persecutor seemed to him to be so indubitable, obvious, and authentic: the whole conversation, then the blindness, the meeting of Ananias, the faith, the baptism, the epiphany — that the extinguished faith burned in him again. And how many striking incidents are told in the lives of the saints: the conversion of the Venerable Martyr Eudocia, the departure of Anthony into the wilderness, the conversions of St. Vladimir, and so on and so forth. Yes, it can be said that the entire mission is the result of the action of the oral or written Word of God... And here, in America, the Apostle – the Aleuts, then in Siberia – the Yakuts, Koryaks and other pagans – Bishop. Innocent (Veniaminov) [8] first taught orally; but soon he began to translate the Gospel into local languages. The Kingdom of Heaven to him! Eternal memory! For "wisdom shall not enter into a wicked soul" - Auth. ^ The passage of the Jews across the Red Sea is described in the biblical book of Exodus, and the sojourn of the prophet Jonah in the belly of a whale is described in the book of the prophet Jonah – Ed. ^ I have read several cases of actual ingestion. And even recently: in the Red Sea, a sailor was swallowed by a whale and was still alive when the animal was caught. I myself read this in the newspapers - Author. ^ Gladkov Boris Ilyich — public figure, writer, champion of people's sobriety, author of a number of works of an apologetic nature ("The Bible in Public Stories". — St. Petersburg, 1915; "The Gospel of the Four Evangelists, Brought Together in One Narrative." St. Petersburg, 1908; "Yes, Christ Has Really Risen!" — St. Petersburg, 1906; "A Public Interpretation of the Gospel." St. Petersburg, 1906; "Help me return to God." St. Petersburg, 1910; "The Root Cause of Our Atheism." - St. Petersburg, 1911) - Compilation. ^ We are talking about Semyon Ludvigovich Frank (1877-1950), a religious philosopher and psychologist who went through a difficult path in his life from atheism to faith, from Marxism to service to Orthodoxy – Ed. ^ St. Seraphim of Sarov († 1833) was a holy elder who possessed the gifts of healing, foresight. He taught about the "acquisition" of the Holy Spirit as the highest goal of a Christian's life – Comp. ^ Bishop Theophanes, in the world Vasily Dmitrievich Bystrov (1872-1940), was rector of the St. Petersburg Theological Academy. He had a great influence on the future Vladyka Benjamin, being his spiritual father – Sost. ^ St. Innocent, Metropolitan of Moscow, Apostle of America and Siberia († 1879). He was canonized by the Russian Orthodox Church in 1977. ^

Chapter 9

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"The Word of God," however, is not contained in Scripture alone; it is also expressed in other types of revelation, I mean: the lives of the saints, the works of the Holy Fathers, the decrees of the Councils, the liturgical books. What are, for example, the lives of saints? It can and should be said that this is the life of the Church. In its bright, positive manifestations. This is the true "history of the Church"... We teach in history about heresies and the fight against them. And sometimes one gets the impression that its history consisted mainly in these clashes. But this is not so. Heresies are outside the Church; heresies are around and against the Church. And her life is a grace-filled river along which those who are being saved float: martyrs, desert dwellers, saints, pious princes, humble family ascetics... Of course, all this is connected with the struggle. But there flows a bright, holy, saving river of God (John 7:38, 39).And it began with Christ and His apostles... And this story was first told in the book of the Acts of the Apostles. What a wonderful book it is! This is a diary of early Christianity. And what an obvious thing too! Even greater than in the Gospel: sometimes one is simply amazed at the abundance of details, accurate references to places, times, names..."We," writes St. Luke, a companion of St. Paul. They embarked on the Adramytic ship and set off, intending to sail near the Assian places. With us was Aristarchus, a Macedonian from Thessalonica. The next day they landed at Sidon... Starting from there, we sailed to Cyprus, because of the contrary winds. And having crossed the sea against Cilicia and Pamphylia, they arrived at Myra in Lycia. There the centurion (and his name has been preserved - Julius) found the Alexandrian ship sailing to Italy (where Paul was sent to judge Caesar himself), and put us on it. Swimming slowly for many days and barely catching up with Knidus... we sailed to Crete at Salmon. Having made their way past it with difficulty, we arrived at a place called Good Harbors, near which was the city of Lasea." Up. Paul advised against sailing further: they did not listen to him. "We sailed near Crete. But soon a stormy wind rose against him, called euroclydone... And we rushed, surrendering to the waves. And, having run into an island called Claudia (we had never heard of it!), we could hardly hold the boat... The next day... We began to throw away the cargo, and on the third we threw things from the ship with our own hands. But since for many days neither the sun nor the stars were visible, and a considerable storm continued, then at last all hope for our salvation disappeared" (ch. 27). ... What is it? Almost a sea diary of the captain of the ship! What more authenticity is needed.. Too obvious! And if all this is indubitable and clear, then all the other events of which the holy author, the physician Luke, was an eyewitness or direct listener, are equally indubitable. This means that the story of the descent of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit on the day of Pentecost in the form of tongues of fire, and the angel leading Peter out of prison; and the conversion of Saul, which is related three times; and the Angel's rapture of St. Paul. Philip: carried by air to Azotus; and other and other miracles and events — all the same, absolutely equally certain, undoubtedly! There is no doubt about the sixfold appearances of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul... And after that, some people say: oh, how I would like to believe, but how difficult it is for me... Formerly, in the seminary, such words still seemed plausible to me... But little by little I saw a great untruth in them. It is not true, it is not true that it is difficult to believe. On the contrary, it is very easy to believe, but it is more difficult not to believe. How? It's very simple... After such reliable testimonies of the Acts and Gospels, after all this evidence, how difficult it is to believe?! After all, reality stands before our eyes with compulsion... And you just don't need to persist... And is it difficult to accept the facts as they are? How can I not take them? They were... So the ship sailed back and forth. And then ran aground. And from it they began to jump into the water and swim to the land. And so did Pavel. We made a fire. They collected firewood for him... And so did Pavel. And when he "picked up a lot (just now I noticed this detail for the first time: "a multitude", a large pile) of brushwood and put it on the fire, then the viper, coming out of the heat, hung on his hand... But he, shaking off the serpent into the fire, suffered no harm" (ch. 28). Here is a new miracle: unharmed... The Lord Jesus Christ was right when He said of the Jews: "If I had not done among them works which no one else had done, they would have had no sin" (John 15:24). And now they are to blame: they saw it and did not accept it. And He Himself was "amazed at their unbelief." John was also amazed.Yes, unbelievers are guilty of their unbelief... Yes! It's not hard to believe at all. It is not easy to live according to faith: "The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force" (Matt. 11:12). And to believe? No effort is needed: just don't persist... On the contrary, it is more difficult not to believe... After all, after such a host of testimonies of the Scriptures (and during Christ's lifetime, of His very works), one must force oneself to reject... A what? To reject the facts... White should be called black; What happened must be denied... Why, it's incomparably more difficult than accepting them! And I know this from my own thousandfold mistakes. And the words of the Lord seem to me to be obviously clear and true: "If ye do not believe," then "ye shall die in your sins" (John 8:24). And again: "He who does not believe is already condemned," and precisely because "he did not believe in the name of the Only-begotten Son of God" (John 3:18). "He that believeth in Him shall not be condemned" (ibid.)... Yes, the Scriptures are sufficient for faith. But it did not end, and continues to this day. The book of Church history, i.e., Acts, continues. It is noteworthy that of all the books of the New Testament, this is the only one that is not concluded in any way, neither by a blessing nor by an "amen." Acts stops at the note: Paul in Rome "received all who came to him" and taught faith in the Lord Jesus Christ "with all boldness without hindrance"...... And I think: this is not accidental, but providential. At that time, the history of the Church was just beginning, and it continues throughout the ages, until the Last Judgment.And the lives of the saints, this essence of the history of the Church, is nothing but a direct and immediate continuation of the Acts. And therefore they should be read in the same way as Acts... And in them there is so much historical evidence, so many absolutely reliable facts of the manifestation of the supernatural world, that only the unbridled audacity of insolent deniers can refuse to accept them... And experience shows that reading the lives of saints is of great importance for strengthening faith. And on these lives – very few in number (St. Barbara, Nicholas the Wonderworker, Alexis the Man of God, Mary of Egypt, Cosmas and Damian) – the Russian people were brought up in the faith, following the Greeks... There was no need for any lectures, no scholarly or semi-learned reasoning, but the simplest reading of reliable material. Only. And people lived by the spirit of the saints. And they saw him off in their everyday life, in everyday life. And our wise spiritual leaders, such as, for example, Bishop. Theophanes the Recluse, it is advised even to begin reading not with the Scriptures, but with the Lives of the Saints, with the Chetyikh-Menya. They are simpler, and closer to children's faith, and more convincing... And all this continues to happen almost to this day. Here is St. Seraphim of Sarov still lived almost before the eyes of our grandfathers. And twelve times he was vouchsafed to see the Mother of God with the saints, and once the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, at the Liturgy. Consequently, the first Christianity is still alive, and the history of the Church continues. And whoever wants to "see" can see even now: if not by himself, then by undoubted trust in the true testimony of St. Seraphim, Fr. John of Kronstadt († 1908). And I know of cases when stories about the last saints and about new miracles in general convinced some of the weak in faith no less, and even more, than the Gospel itself. Once I had to go from Germany to France. After Aachen, I found myself in the same carriage with a Russian woman traveling from Sweden to Spain to visit her sister, an artist. She was married to a Swede and had two beautiful boys. Having met me, she turned to me with the following request: "I am a believer, but sometimes I am confused by doubts: is there all this? I don't want them, but they come. I would like to strengthen my faith with something. Can you help?—Why, you have read the Holy Scriptures. The Gospel?—Yes.—"Then what greater proof of the other world do you have than the appearance of the Son of God Himself from there, His wondrous works, and His own revelations about the Trinity, and so on?—Yes," she answered shyly, "that is true. But... But all this has been so long ago that it seems somehow cold now. And she was delicately guiltily embarrassed: she herself understood the frivolity of her objection. You never know what was even before Christianity: Caesar, his wars, Alexander the Great, Homer, Socrates, Plato; But no one, absolutely no normal person, is embarrassed by the remoteness of their lives and does not doubt their historicity. That's why she felt guilty. But she, like Thomas the Apostle, did not want to deny Christianity and the heavenly world, but, on the contrary, to be more convinced of it. And if Christ did not reject the weak Thomas, but showed him His sores on his hands and feet, then did I have the right to remain silent? or from eyewitnesses of those people with whom miracles happened... In Paris, she visited me with her friends and gave me almost a basket of all sorts of expensive fruits as a thank you. I could tell you a few cases here in the Notes, but that would distract me even more from other notes. In addition, I have special handwritten notebooks, where this is partly written down ("From the Other World"), although not all of them... In part, I have spoken above about the vision of Archim. Tikhon of the angel. He also told me about an extraordinary appearance to him (in a dream) from the afterlife of a girl named S. — of whom he had never heard, and she asked him for prayers at the Liturgy. The girl was a Protestant... I know of several cases of clairvoyance: both from my own memory (Fr. Nikita, Fr. Isidore) [1], and from the stories of others (about the appearance of the Mother of God in Ufa to orphans abandoned by matter), and I heard and others reported how demons quite clearly manifested their presence to Fr. F—nu, Fr. Macarius in the presence of Dr. Pirogov). And how many miraculous cases of apparitions after the death of Fr. John of Kronstadt! Thousand... I myself was informed by the persons who were vouchsafed this (Fr. Theophilus, the colonel's wife, Mrs. Y. and so on and so forth). And Fr. John himself testifies not falsely that God worked many miracles with his hands (read His Diary).The well-known professor of Russian history at Moscow University, M. Pogodin, even wrote a whole book entitled "Simple Speeches about Intricate Things" [2]. In the first part, he wrote down his philosophical thoughts about the relationship between faith and knowledge, his experiences, which were very significant and interesting. and in the second he collected many facts of supernatural phenomena... True, they are not always equally valuable, but there are many very important and convincing things. In the third part, he speaks against Darwinism... There are well-known books by the Moscow archpriest Fr. Gregory Dyachenko, who collected a mass of similar facts ("From the Realm of the Mysterious", with an addition) [3]. Not everything is equal either, but instructive... And many other similar books and brochures were published. What is all this material like, following the Gospel and the Acts of the Apostles? This is the ongoing uninterruptedly revelation of the world, this is the development of the Gospel and the Acts: the Lord Himself, as we have seen, promised His disciples: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on Me, the works which I do shall he also do, and greater than these"... (John 14:12). And in order to strengthen faith and revive it, it is very important to use everyday revelations. Experience confirms this. I will not argue now with those deniers who consider the lives to be legends. True, it happens that sometimes not entirely reliable details in the narratives increase, but the main material is historical. Of course, if a person in general, contrary to reason, decided in advance to reject everything supernatural, miraculous, unusual, such a person will not accept the lives from the beginning. But when he reads these sources again, he will also think: what is it? Is it possible that all this, both now, and two thousand years ago, and here and there, and among the simpletons and among the sages, is it really all just fiction? Are they really legends? And an honest person will understand the frivolity of such indiscriminate denials... And he should have engaged in a really scientific, impartial, in-depth study of these innumerable phenomena. And then he would see all the certainty of the stories about them. But what is more surprising and unforgivable is the frivolous attitude to hagiographic material even on the part of believers. Quite recently I heard about one such impudent and superficially educated priest, who, with the grin of an "intelligent, modern cultured man," asked my acquaintance: "Do you still believe these fairy tales?! ... God have mercy on us from such ministers! These are slanderers, devils, and not priests! And how else does God tolerate such people? This is worse than any vices... I think, however, that in Russia such copies were the rarest exception.The question arises (if not among such blasphemers, then at least among other believers, sincere, but confused): do they really believe in the Gospel, in Acts? And if they do, then what other miracles do they need greater than there? And sick 38-year-olds were healed, and those born blind received their sight, and were fed with five thousand loaves of bread, and demons were cast out, and the dead were resurrected, and what is more surprising: desperate sinners became saints: and Christ rose and ascended, and the Holy Spirit clearly descended from the Father... What other miracles can we expect after that? Or how can we not believe them?" Legends"... Do these small, imaginary "clever guys" know that legends are no less, and even more important than facts? Did these wise men think that even the desire and creation of "legends" is no less important than miracles? Where does it come from? And how does it hold up? The root is not even that we only "want" this world to exist (and this need is very important, we will see later); but in the fact that if not in this case, then in another, not in another, then in a third, hundredth, thousandth case, similar phenomena have already occurred before. And mankind preserves the historical memory of them; and when necessary, he fills new cases with this faith. Legends in their essence are more important than facts, for legends are already the sum total of their components, the general formulas of individual cases, the general established truths. But I repeat, in the stories about the lives of the saints, historical events are recorded, moreover, attested by the best people in conscience: close and also pious witnesses of the lives of the saints of God. that he "does not recognize miracles" (we have had and still have many of them, half-educated or imagining "wise men", "know-it-alls", no matter how "great" their names may be, like Tolstoy, etc.), then by this they reveal only their insufficient mental education, and still more – a perverted heart, so that they want to say beforehand: "There is no God". Now I will pass over these perplexities.Further, the question of miracles will be posed directly and will be solved mathematically easily.The works of the Holy Fathers have the same significance, about whom (the philosopher Kireevsky said a strong word: "They speak of the country (i.e., the heavenly one) in which they were." And Bishop Theophan (the Recluse) advises reading them in the second place, after the lives of the saints. Yes, indeed, the saints say that what they saw. They could not hesitate to say with the apostles: "We have proclaimed to you the power and the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, not following cunning fables, but being eyewitnesses of His majesty" (2 Peter 1:16)." Of the things that were from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at, and what our hands have touched, about the Word of life"; "About this," the Apostle persistently repeats. John, — what have we seen... and you had fellowship with us; and our fellowship is with the Father and His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write unto you, that your joy may be perfect" (1 John 1 ch., 1, 3, 4). Paul. Impelled by the attacks of his enemies to defend himself, after 14 years of silence, he was finally forced to reveal his extraordinary rapture to heaven. This is such a powerful and convincing testimony that I call it to the attention of every seeker and even believer." It is not profitable for me to boast, for I shall come to the visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ (he writes about himself), who fourteen years ago (whether in the body, I do not know, whether out of the body, I do not know: God knows), was caught up to the third heaven. Everything here is extraordinary, striking: the very vision of the "third heaven", paradise; and the impossibility of conveying it in human language, for earthly language has no words for the heavenly, other world; And 14 years of silence, the words "I know" and "I don't know". The Apostle quite frankly confesses that he was in some kind of special state, and not in the usual one: either in a body, or without a body... And what he does not know, he says: "I do not know." But on the other hand, he insistently repeats that the very event with him undoubtedly happened: "I know a man", "I know about such a man", that he was in paradise... Such confidence can only be possessed by one who really speaks "of the country in which he was," and Christ the Lord Himself assures us of this reality even more than anyone else. When He talked at night with His secret disciple, a member of the Sanhedrin, Nicodemus, he could not even understand about the "spiritual birth." And the Lord rebuked him: "Thou art a teacher of Israel, and knowest not this?" And of Himself he further declared thus: "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, We speak of what we know, and bear witness of what we have seen, but ye receive not Our testimony" (John 3:10, 11). "what do they know"... But if they are not believed, then it is no longer their fault, but the fault of those who do not accept them... A simple heart and a mind that is not evil, and even a broadly enlightened one, accepts with faith, as reliable eyewitnesses say. Scripture and the Holy Scriptures. In essence, the first path of "children's faith" was also received through Revelation "according to tradition": from parents and teachers... But in both of them, and especially in the first period of "simple faith," as we have constantly noted, our heart also occupied an important place: it easily and joyfully accepted faith and the arguments in favor of it, and, on the contrary, repelled unbelief and its temptations. We will think about this later: where does this instinct come from? However, while we are still talking about more or less natural ways of revealing faith – according to tradition: from parents, and from Divine Revelation in the Scriptures, and from holy people.Here we must already speak about the Church, although not in the full scope of this question.Shortly before the death of Fr. John of Kronstadt, God brought me and my friend Fr. Neophyte (who had already died) to visit the holy pastor. It was an unusual conversation, memorable to me, a sinner. But I will remember only one subject here."Father! In order to understand my question, I ask you to remember that we, seminarians, and then students, were cold in our faith; and therefore in others they could not understand its ardor. It was no longer possible to deny it to Fr. John, and more than once I was an eyewitness of his ardent service at the Liturgy and in his sermons... Yes, this is a well-known fact. And for me his faith was like a riddle: what you don't know yourself, everything seems incomprehensible.— Where does faith come from? The already sickly old man asked thoughtfully; and was silent for a while. We waited.—I lived in the Church! The priest suddenly answered firmly and confidently. I, a "theologian," am a student—alas! — did not understand these words: "lived in the Church." What's it? Strange ignorance, the reader will say... I do not deny it; but I confess. But it is sad that future pastors did not understand such simple things as the Church." And it was obvious to Fr. John. I really did not understand his answer - as if he had said something to me in a foreign language... So Nicodemus did not understand Christ the Lord (John 3:4, 9). And I asked again: "What does it mean to live in the Church?" Father John was even somewhat upset: "Well, what does it mean?" Well, I served the Divine Liturgy and other services; I prayed in church in general. Then, after some more thought, he continued: "I liked to read the Menaion in church... Not the Chetyi-Menaion (not the Lives of the Saints)... Although they are beautiful.. And the Menaion is liturgical. He really always went to the left kliros at matins and read the canons to them. With great boldness... Almost as if he demanded their intercession from God. I remember that the first time I had to visit it was on the day of St. Alypius (the Stylite), November 26 [4]. How Fr. John appealed to him with force!—Reverend Father Alypius! pray to God for us!" Pray!" as if he were standing before him and fervently asking for intercession... And the whole service passed with him with force... I don't remember any other details of this important conversation about the Church."That's what it means: to live in the Church," he finished. Gradually, the whole importance of the Church was revealed to me. Now, recalling the past, the first and even the second periods of my faith, I must confess that it was not held together by the Word of God, much less by the lives of the saints or the works of the Holy Fathers. It can be said that I almost did not even read the latter, as well as the Lives: neither in the theological school, nor in the seminary... Is it strange? "Undoubtedly... But no one was interested in these sources, and none of the elders even told us about their importance, did not warm up interest. I myself was a librarian in the seminary, I saw these thick books, I also remember the leather bindings of the Philokalia [5]; but he never even opened the lids in them. And the Scriptures, as I have already written, were only a textbook, and a cold one at that. Consequently, my faith, like that of other comrades, lived not by the Word of God, not by lives, but by something else. With what? I have already said: by parental and common tradition, and even by their own heart. But that's not all. After all, everyone had traditions and a heart, but not everyone remained believers. There are many reasons for this. And one of the most important is the Church. The same Fr. John of Kronstadt in his diary "My Life in Christ" said the following (I am writing from memory): "I still wonder: how is it that our intelligent people, who have departed from the life of the Church, still preserve the remnants of the faith?" And on the contrary, I happened to hear from a Christian woman already abroad such reasonable words: "I am sure that if anyone attends church constantly, he cannot be an unbeliever." I will reveal it a little from experience, which is known to almost all of us.Perhaps some people will think that preaching has had an effect on us? People value their word so highly now... No! Until the Academy, I do not remember a single case when sermons made a strong impression on me at all. And they were almost never pronounced in the theological school and seminary. During the communion of the clergy in the altar, the singers sang something "concert". What then? Perhaps reading passages from the Epistle and the Gospel? — Not either. We almost never understood the Apostle. Yes! And they regarded it from the point of view of the loudness and beauty of the voice. And we knew the Gospel by heart; and never reading it captured our hearts... It passed by... What then? Could it be those canons that Father John loved to read from the Menaion? Even less. And if we did, it was more beautiful singing of irmoses [6]; especially if there was a "trio" of wonderful tenors and bass.Then what is left of the "Church"? — The most important thing is that this simple standing in the church; of course, participation in the prayers pronounced (for each to a different degree); well, and hearing the Word of God... This "service," especially the Liturgy, by itself, that is, without any special participation of the mind, preserved and educated our faith. This is the simplest thing: I was in church, I went to mass, I defended the service – in some wondrous ways they kept faith in us... What? "We never thought about it... Have you ever wondered? "And yet it was this very 'walking' that nourished us most of all... I am not even talking about the extraordinary moments of confession and Holy Communion: then, of course, we rose to a more intense height. But these moments were so rare... Once or twice a year... Consequently, our faith received from our fathers could not rest on them. Namely, on those constantly recurring "holidays"; Sundays, the Twelve Great Days, at the four fasts, at the memorials of the saints... After all, if you look around now, you see that all life was intertwined with the Church: the Introduction came, you already hear the irmoses for the Nativity: "Christ is born, glorify!"; Christmastide came, there was a whole wreath of feasts: Christmas, Circumcision and New Year. Baptism, Basil the Great, John the Baptist; on the eve of Christmas — Christmas Eve, do not eat until the star; on the eve of Epiphany – not to drink before holy water... Christmastide, holy days have passed, Shrovetide and Lent are coming soon: mournful good news, dark vestments, communion (and fish were not supposed to be eaten: except for the Annunciation and the Entry into Jerusalem), sincere confession, Holy Communion... And this is for a month and a half. And there are the striking days of passion: the reading of the 12 Gospels. The Shroud, the burial of Christ... And the midnight Bright Matins... Easter! The Resurrection of Christ... God, what a joy. For a whole week the trezvon is continuous.St. George's Day is coming soon: the cattle are driven out, a prayer service is served; Cows that have become emaciated during the winter are sprinkled with holy water, and they go to the meadow to nibble on the still skinny grass. Ascension... Trinity with greenery and flowers... "Ivan-Kupala" - June 24... "Peter and Paul"... Fasting again... "Kazanskaya"... We have a one-year fair in our district. And here the first "Spas" (August 1) with poppy seeds is already close; and the second "Saviour" – the Transfiguration with apples (previously we strictly observed: sin is eaten before consecration)... The third post is Dormition. The third "Saviour" is the image not made by hands (August 16). "Beheading" of the Head of the Forerunner (August 29). Nativity of the Virgin (September 8) ... "Exaltation" – as they used to say in the village – of the Cross of the Lord (September 14). Autumn "Kazanskaya" (October 22). And again – "Introduction"... Fast again. And again the holidays are spinning all year round. And how many special saints there are in a year! Spring and winter Nikola. "Eudoceia of the Martyrs". "The Standing of Mary of Egypt"; "Spiridon Turn" (December 12), "Michael the Archangel", "Ivan the Theologian". "Gerasim of Jordan" with a lion (March 4): the rooks have arrived. "Alexei the Man of God" (March 17): larks were baked! "Kozmo-Demyan" – not once a year, Marina the "Red" (July 17) [7]... To be afraid of a fire... "Elijah the Prophet"; You can't work at all - he will punish you... "Flora and Laurus, St. Pantelemon" healers... And this is a whole year... And each Sunday is in essence a remembrance of Pascha... Well, who among the Russians did not know all this? The most illiterate peasant lived in this circle of ideas and everyday life. Whether the sermon was preached in church, whether he understood the Apostle (everyone understood the Gospel), whether he delved into "what is there" on the kliros reading the "sexton," all this is not so important. But this is what he remembers: tomorrow is Sunday or special holidays: he must go to church, "stand"... And even if he stays at home, he still knows that he is now "festive"... And I heard the bell. Or maybe at least one of the family comes down and "brings grace"... And on major holidays: on Christmas, on Epiphany, on Easter, and on the "patronal" "father" with icons they will go to every home, sing a prayer service, sprinkle holy water, kiss the cross, congratulate on the holiday. And in our village they also honored the Intercession (October 1). Weddings on this day were celebrated in all the villages around... The peasants left with field work, sowed new "ozimi", sold the excess at the market... And you can marry children... After the wedding in the church, we feasted for three days... That's all... And then everyone has something special: who has a child - christening, looking for godfathers, naming; someone else died: general sympathy and participation in the funeral; if someone falls ill, you have to follow the priest, you need to "inform" him, or even give him the Unction later... And so all life revolved all year round the churches of God. It is not for nothing that they were placed in the best place, and built higher, and decorated with bells, domes, icons, candles and lamps... There it is, "life in the Church"... And even if we look at it only from the point of view of at least the continuous education of people for a whole year, then how can we not be surprised at the amazing wisdom of those who came up with all this and spent it in everyday life! This is not even a human invention, calculated in advance and specially invented by someone... No, this is the wise institution of the Holy Spirit, "the King of Heaven, the Comforter, the Spirit of truth"... The Word of Christ the Lord is being fulfilled: "I will build My Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it" (Matt. 16:18). "But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit...," He said to His disciples before His death, "shall teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said unto you" (John 14:26). Paul taught his assistant Timothy: "I write to you, ... that if I tarry, thou mayest know how to act in the house of God, which is the Church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth" (1 Tim. 3:14, 15). She is our Spiritual Mother... Neither parents, nor school, nor sermons, nor even the Divine books taught us proper, but it was the Church of God, our Mother, with all its all-wise structure and way of life... Teaching also entered into this imperceptibly: everyone knew the basics of faith and the education of morality: everyone knew what was good or bad. And how else did they know! Dostoevsky is amazed at how deep the concept of sin and holiness was in the Russian consciousness! I remember that the English, who came to Russia, in the Moscow Trinity Lavra, asked the professors of the academy how Russians, most of them illiterate, knew Orthodoxy. And we received the answer: from the Church... That's the truth! It is quite rightly said that the Church is a mother, an educator: not only spiritually and grace-filled, through the sacraments, but even spiritually (psychologically), through its entire liturgical and educational system. Perhaps I will repeat myself in something out of forgetfulness; It's not a big deal.

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So, I came to the academy with simple faith, but with a rational mind, to which everything needs to be "proved". But gradually, and even quite quickly, this heavy burden of rationalism, of false faith in the power of the mind, began to fall from my spiritual shoulders... I have freed myself from this malignant oppression... I saw the relative value of all "knowledge" in general, and I clearly saw the complete inadequacy of the mind in matters of faith. Little by little, the old fear of lack of proof disappeared from me... Then I even stopped wanting proofs from the mind, as if they were weak. Then I saw other ways of spiritual knowledge, not rational... And I liked them incomparably more than the previous "proofs"... And then I even disliked proofs, but fell in love with "secrets", which I had previously feared cowardly and completely falsely, even from a rational point of view... And so I returned—what a whirlwind! — to the same "simple faith" by which he has always lived, with which he came to the Academy. But now this "simplicity" was guarded not only by heart and tradition, but by the very mind that had previously seemed to be the enemy of simplicity. "Knowledge" helped "faith"; Thus came and passed the second stage of my faith, the so-called "conscious," i.e., when faith passed through the furnace of the intellect, "knowledge," critical epistemology (the doctrine of the ways of knowing). At that time we spoke of a period of faith in which we believe "by conviction," i.e., as if on the basis of reason. In essence, such a definition is completely incorrect: for faith (as we shall see) still remained outside and above reason, but since a rational examination of the abilities of the mind itself showed its inadequacy in the spheres of faith, and thereby removed it from the path of faith, freed it from the imaginary bonds of the mind, to that extent it can be said that an important appendage was added to faith: the elimination of the mind by the mind... In the words of one of the scholars and profound bishops, science has eliminated itself; The mind has eaten itself, as it were. Faith was freed... And only then did the same mind begin to help faith a little: but not by "proving" it, but by bringing up some "auxiliary" supports. Placed within legal limits, the mind has already become a conscientious and humble assistant of faith, as the lower organ for the higher (spirit). Formerly he was considered a master, now he has become a servant. And the well-known expression of scholastic Western theology, that "philosophy is the handmaiden (ancilla) of theology," is partly true: but not to the extent of the scholastic valuation of the mind. Scholasticism believed and thought that everything could be explained by the mind, and tried to do so; but I saw the complete lie of such a high appreciation of intelligence; Nevertheless, he saw a partial benefit of philosophy, namely in the preparation of the soul for faith, in the removal of rational obstacles to it, and then in some subsequent help. The difference is great.How all this happened in my soul – I will write about this in the next part of the notes. And if the first period can be called a "childish" faith, then the next one – the second – I will call conditionally "reasonable" faith. And then there will be the third stage of it. But there is a time for everything... The elder of the Skete of St. John the Baptist on Valaam, Fr. Nikita, and the elder of the Gethsemane Skete of the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, Fr. Isidore, predicted to Vladyka Benjamin his future path in life (monasticism and episcopacy), when he, as a student of the Theological Academy, visited these righteous men. (See more about them in the books of Vladyka Veniamin "God's People" and "Notes of a Bishop". A story about this is given by Metropolitan Veniamin in Part VI of this book ("Miracles of God"), as well as in his "Notes of a Bishop" – Compilation. ^ The book of the historian Mikhail Petrovich Pogodin (1800-1875) "A Simple Speech about Intricate Things". – Moscow, 1873 – Compilation. ^ The book of Archpriest, Master of Theology Grigory Mikhailovich Dyachenko "From the Realm of the Mysterious. A simple speech about the existence and properties of the human soul as a god-like spiritual entity. With the application of stories and reflections leading to the recognition of the spiritual world in general." In 3 ch. Moscow, 1900. And an addendum to the book — "From the Realm of the Mysterious. Spiritual world. Stories and Reflections Leading to the Recognition of the Existence of the Spiritual World" (Moscow, 1900) – Ed. ^ The day of St. Alypius the Stylite († 640) is celebrated according to the new style on December 9 – Ed. ^ The Philokalia is a collection of works of the Holy Fathers, mainly of ascetic content: St. John of the Ladder, St. John of the Ladder. St. Nilus of Sinai, St. Abba Dorotheus, Sts. Barsanuphius and John, St. Hesychius, Presbyter of Jerusalem, St. John Cassian and other ascetics – Comp. ^ Irmos (bundle) is a hymn that is part of the canon, a work performed at matins and during some other services. The canon consists of nine parts — songs. The irmos "binds" the songs with each other – Comp. ^ The dates of the holidays are given according to the old style – Compilation. ^

Part II: Reasonable Faith

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"The Word of God," however, is not contained in Scripture alone; it is also expressed in other types of revelation, I mean: the lives of the saints, the works of the Holy Fathers, the decrees of the Councils, the liturgical books. What are, for example, the lives of saints? It can and should be said that this is the life of the Church. In its bright, positive manifestations. This is the true "history of the Church"... We teach in history about heresies and the fight against them. And sometimes one gets the impression that its history consisted mainly in these clashes. But this is not so. Heresies are outside the Church; heresies are around and against the Church. And her life is a grace-filled river along which those who are being saved float: martyrs, desert dwellers, saints, pious princes, humble family ascetics... Of course, all this is connected with the struggle. But there flows a bright, holy, saving river of God (John 7:38, 39).And it began with Christ and His apostles... And this story was first told in the book of the Acts of the Apostles. What a wonderful book it is! This is a diary of early Christianity. And what an obvious thing too! Even greater than in the Gospel: sometimes one is simply amazed at the abundance of details, accurate references to places, times, names..."We," writes St. Luke, a companion of St. Paul. They embarked on the Adramytic ship and set off, intending to sail near the Assian places. With us was Aristarchus, a Macedonian from Thessalonica. The next day they landed at Sidon... Starting from there, we sailed to Cyprus, because of the contrary winds. And having crossed the sea against Cilicia and Pamphylia, they arrived at Myra in Lycia. There the centurion (and his name has been preserved - Julius) found the Alexandrian ship sailing to Italy (where Paul was sent to judge Caesar himself), and put us on it. Swimming slowly for many days and barely catching up with Knidus... we sailed to Crete at Salmon. Having made their way past it with difficulty, we arrived at a place called Good Harbors, near which was the city of Lasea." Up. Paul advised against sailing further: they did not listen to him. "We sailed near Crete. But soon a stormy wind rose against him, called euroclydone... And we rushed, surrendering to the waves. And, having run into an island called Claudia (we had never heard of it!), we could hardly hold the boat... The next day... We began to throw away the cargo, and on the third we threw things from the ship with our own hands. But since for many days neither the sun nor the stars were visible, and a considerable storm continued, then at last all hope for our salvation disappeared" (ch. 27). ... What is it? Almost a sea diary of the captain of the ship! What more authenticity is needed.. Too obvious! And if all this is indubitable and clear, then all the other events of which the holy author, the physician Luke, was an eyewitness or direct listener, are equally indubitable. This means that the story of the descent of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit on the day of Pentecost in the form of tongues of fire, and the angel leading Peter out of prison; and the conversion of Saul, which is related three times; and the Angel's rapture of St. Paul. Philip: carried by air to Azotus; and other and other miracles and events — all the same, absolutely equally certain, undoubtedly! There is no doubt about the sixfold appearances of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul... And after that, some people say: oh, how I would like to believe, but how difficult it is for me... Formerly, in the seminary, such words still seemed plausible to me... But little by little I saw a great untruth in them. It is not true, it is not true that it is difficult to believe. On the contrary, it is very easy to believe, but it is more difficult not to believe. How? It's very simple... After such reliable testimonies of the Acts and Gospels, after all this evidence, how difficult it is to believe?! After all, reality stands before our eyes with compulsion... And you just don't need to persist... And is it difficult to accept the facts as they are? How can I not take them? They were... So the ship sailed back and forth. And then ran aground. And from it they began to jump into the water and swim to the land. And so did Pavel. We made a fire. They collected firewood for him... And so did Pavel. And when he "picked up a lot (just now I noticed this detail for the first time: "a multitude", a large pile) of brushwood and put it on the fire, then the viper, coming out of the heat, hung on his hand... But he, shaking off the serpent into the fire, suffered no harm" (ch. 28). Here is a new miracle: unharmed... The Lord Jesus Christ was right when He said of the Jews: "If I had not done among them works which no one else had done, they would have had no sin" (John 15:24). And now they are to blame: they saw it and did not accept it. And He Himself was "amazed at their unbelief." John was also amazed.Yes, unbelievers are guilty of their unbelief... Yes! It's not hard to believe at all. It is not easy to live according to faith: "The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force" (Matt. 11:12). And to believe? No effort is needed: just don't persist... On the contrary, it is more difficult not to believe... After all, after such a host of testimonies of the Scriptures (and during Christ's lifetime, of His very works), one must force oneself to reject... A what? To reject the facts... White should be called black; What happened must be denied... Why, it's incomparably more difficult than accepting them! And I know this from my own thousandfold mistakes. And the words of the Lord seem to me to be obviously clear and true: "If ye do not believe," then "ye shall die in your sins" (John 8:24). And again: "He who does not believe is already condemned," and precisely because "he did not believe in the name of the Only-begotten Son of God" (John 3:18). "He that believeth in Him shall not be condemned" (ibid.)... Yes, the Scriptures are sufficient for faith. But it did not end, and continues to this day. The book of Church history, i.e., Acts, continues. It is noteworthy that of all the books of the New Testament, this is the only one that is not concluded in any way, neither by a blessing nor by an "amen." Acts stops at the note: Paul in Rome "received all who came to him" and taught faith in the Lord Jesus Christ "with all boldness without hindrance"...... And I think: this is not accidental, but providential. At that time, the history of the Church was just beginning, and it continues throughout the ages, until the Last Judgment.And the lives of the saints, this essence of the history of the Church, is nothing but a direct and immediate continuation of the Acts. And therefore they should be read in the same way as Acts... And in them there is so much historical evidence, so many absolutely reliable facts of the manifestation of the supernatural world, that only the unbridled audacity of insolent deniers can refuse to accept them... And experience shows that reading the lives of saints is of great importance for strengthening faith. And on these lives – very few in number (St. Barbara, Nicholas the Wonderworker, Alexis the Man of God, Mary of Egypt, Cosmas and Damian) – the Russian people were brought up in the faith, following the Greeks... There was no need for any lectures, no scholarly or semi-learned reasoning, but the simplest reading of reliable material. Only. And people lived by the spirit of the saints. And they saw him off in their everyday life, in everyday life. And our wise spiritual leaders, such as, for example, Bishop. Theophanes the Recluse, it is advised even to begin reading not with the Scriptures, but with the Lives of the Saints, with the Chetyikh-Menya. They are simpler, and closer to children's faith, and more convincing... And all this continues to happen almost to this day. Here is St. Seraphim of Sarov still lived almost before the eyes of our grandfathers. And twelve times he was vouchsafed to see the Mother of God with the saints, and once the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, at the Liturgy. Consequently, the first Christianity is still alive, and the history of the Church continues. And whoever wants to "see" can see even now: if not by himself, then by undoubted trust in the true testimony of St. Seraphim, Fr. John of Kronstadt († 1908). And I know of cases when stories about the last saints and about new miracles in general convinced some of the weak in faith no less, and even more, than the Gospel itself. Once I had to go from Germany to France. After Aachen, I found myself in the same carriage with a Russian woman traveling from Sweden to Spain to visit her sister, an artist. She was married to a Swede and had two beautiful boys. Having met me, she turned to me with the following request: "I am a believer, but sometimes I am confused by doubts: is there all this? I don't want them, but they come. I would like to strengthen my faith with something. Can you help?—Why, you have read the Holy Scriptures. The Gospel?—Yes.—"Then what greater proof of the other world do you have than the appearance of the Son of God Himself from there, His wondrous works, and His own revelations about the Trinity, and so on?—Yes," she answered shyly, "that is true. But... But all this has been so long ago that it seems somehow cold now. And she was delicately guiltily embarrassed: she herself understood the frivolity of her objection. You never know what was even before Christianity: Caesar, his wars, Alexander the Great, Homer, Socrates, Plato; But no one, absolutely no normal person, is embarrassed by the remoteness of their lives and does not doubt their historicity. That's why she felt guilty. But she, like Thomas the Apostle, did not want to deny Christianity and the heavenly world, but, on the contrary, to be more convinced of it. And if Christ did not reject the weak Thomas, but showed him His sores on his hands and feet, then did I have the right to remain silent? or from eyewitnesses of those people with whom miracles happened... In Paris, she visited me with her friends and gave me almost a basket of all sorts of expensive fruits as a thank you. I could tell you a few cases here in the Notes, but that would distract me even more from other notes. In addition, I have special handwritten notebooks, where this is partly written down ("From the Other World"), although not all of them... In part, I have spoken above about the vision of Archim. Tikhon of the angel. He also told me about an extraordinary appearance to him (in a dream) from the afterlife of a girl named S. — of whom he had never heard, and she asked him for prayers at the Liturgy. The girl was a Protestant... I know of several cases of clairvoyance: both from my own memory (Fr. Nikita, Fr. Isidore) [1], and from the stories of others (about the appearance of the Mother of God in Ufa to orphans abandoned by matter), and I heard and others reported how demons quite clearly manifested their presence to Fr. F—nu, Fr. Macarius in the presence of Dr. Pirogov). And how many miraculous cases of apparitions after the death of Fr. John of Kronstadt! Thousand... I myself was informed by the persons who were vouchsafed this (Fr. Theophilus, the colonel's wife, Mrs. Y. and so on and so forth). And Fr. John himself testifies not falsely that God worked many miracles with his hands (read His Diary).The well-known professor of Russian history at Moscow University, M. Pogodin, even wrote a whole book entitled "Simple Speeches about Intricate Things" [2]. In the first part, he wrote down his philosophical thoughts about the relationship between faith and knowledge, his experiences, which were very significant and interesting. and in the second he collected many facts of supernatural phenomena... True, they are not always equally valuable, but there are many very important and convincing things. In the third part, he speaks against Darwinism... There are well-known books by the Moscow archpriest Fr. Gregory Dyachenko, who collected a mass of similar facts ("From the Realm of the Mysterious", with an addition) [3]. Not everything is equal either, but instructive... And many other similar books and brochures were published. What is all this material like, following the Gospel and the Acts of the Apostles? This is the ongoing uninterruptedly revelation of the world, this is the development of the Gospel and the Acts: the Lord Himself, as we have seen, promised His disciples: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on Me, the works which I do shall he also do, and greater than these"... (John 14:12). And in order to strengthen faith and revive it, it is very important to use everyday revelations. Experience confirms this. I will not argue now with those deniers who consider the lives to be legends. True, it happens that sometimes not entirely reliable details in the narratives increase, but the main material is historical. Of course, if a person in general, contrary to reason, decided in advance to reject everything supernatural, miraculous, unusual, such a person will not accept the lives from the beginning. But when he reads these sources again, he will also think: what is it? Is it possible that all this, both now, and two thousand years ago, and here and there, and among the simpletons and among the sages, is it really all just fiction? Are they really legends? And an honest person will understand the frivolity of such indiscriminate denials... And he should have engaged in a really scientific, impartial, in-depth study of these innumerable phenomena. And then he would see all the certainty of the stories about them. But what is more surprising and unforgivable is the frivolous attitude to hagiographic material even on the part of believers. Quite recently I heard about one such impudent and superficially educated priest, who, with the grin of an "intelligent, modern cultured man," asked my acquaintance: "Do you still believe these fairy tales?! ... God have mercy on us from such ministers! These are slanderers, devils, and not priests! And how else does God tolerate such people? This is worse than any vices... I think, however, that in Russia such copies were the rarest exception.The question arises (if not among such blasphemers, then at least among other believers, sincere, but confused): do they really believe in the Gospel, in Acts? And if they do, then what other miracles do they need greater than there? And sick 38-year-olds were healed, and those born blind received their sight, and were fed with five thousand loaves of bread, and demons were cast out, and the dead were resurrected, and what is more surprising: desperate sinners became saints: and Christ rose and ascended, and the Holy Spirit clearly descended from the Father... What other miracles can we expect after that? Or how can we not believe them?" Legends"... Do these small, imaginary "clever guys" know that legends are no less, and even more important than facts? Did these wise men think that even the desire and creation of "legends" is no less important than miracles? Where does it come from? And how does it hold up? The root is not even that we only "want" this world to exist (and this need is very important, we will see later); but in the fact that if not in this case, then in another, not in another, then in a third, hundredth, thousandth case, similar phenomena have already occurred before. And mankind preserves the historical memory of them; and when necessary, he fills new cases with this faith. Legends in their essence are more important than facts, for legends are already the sum total of their components, the general formulas of individual cases, the general established truths. But I repeat, in the stories about the lives of the saints, historical events are recorded, moreover, attested by the best people in conscience: close and also pious witnesses of the lives of the saints of God. that he "does not recognize miracles" (we have had and still have many of them, half-educated or imagining "wise men", "know-it-alls", no matter how "great" their names may be, like Tolstoy, etc.), then by this they reveal only their insufficient mental education, and still more – a perverted heart, so that they want to say beforehand: "There is no God". Now I will pass over these perplexities.Further, the question of miracles will be posed directly and will be solved mathematically easily.The works of the Holy Fathers have the same significance, about whom (the philosopher Kireevsky said a strong word: "They speak of the country (i.e., the heavenly one) in which they were." And Bishop Theophan (the Recluse) advises reading them in the second place, after the lives of the saints. Yes, indeed, the saints say that what they saw. They could not hesitate to say with the apostles: "We have proclaimed to you the power and the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, not following cunning fables, but being eyewitnesses of His majesty" (2 Peter 1:16)." Of the things that were from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at, and what our hands have touched, about the Word of life"; "About this," the Apostle persistently repeats. John, — what have we seen... and you had fellowship with us; and our fellowship is with the Father and His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write unto you, that your joy may be perfect" (1 John 1 ch., 1, 3, 4). Paul. Impelled by the attacks of his enemies to defend himself, after 14 years of silence, he was finally forced to reveal his extraordinary rapture to heaven. This is such a powerful and convincing testimony that I call it to the attention of every seeker and even believer." It is not profitable for me to boast, for I shall come to the visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ (he writes about himself), who fourteen years ago (whether in the body, I do not know, whether out of the body, I do not know: God knows), was caught up to the third heaven. Everything here is extraordinary, striking: the very vision of the "third heaven", paradise; and the impossibility of conveying it in human language, for earthly language has no words for the heavenly, other world; And 14 years of silence, the words "I know" and "I don't know". The Apostle quite frankly confesses that he was in some kind of special state, and not in the usual one: either in a body, or without a body... And what he does not know, he says: "I do not know." But on the other hand, he insistently repeats that the very event with him undoubtedly happened: "I know a man", "I know about such a man", that he was in paradise... Such confidence can only be possessed by one who really speaks "of the country in which he was," and Christ the Lord Himself assures us of this reality even more than anyone else. When He talked at night with His secret disciple, a member of the Sanhedrin, Nicodemus, he could not even understand about the "spiritual birth." And the Lord rebuked him: "Thou art a teacher of Israel, and knowest not this?" And of Himself he further declared thus: "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, We speak of what we know, and bear witness of what we have seen, but ye receive not Our testimony" (John 3:10, 11). "what do they know"... But if they are not believed, then it is no longer their fault, but the fault of those who do not accept them... A simple heart and a mind that is not evil, and even a broadly enlightened one, accepts with faith, as reliable eyewitnesses say. Scripture and the Holy Scriptures. In essence, the first path of "children's faith" was also received through Revelation "according to tradition": from parents and teachers... But in both of them, and especially in the first period of "simple faith," as we have constantly noted, our heart also occupied an important place: it easily and joyfully accepted faith and the arguments in favor of it, and, on the contrary, repelled unbelief and its temptations. We will think about this later: where does this instinct come from? However, while we are still talking about more or less natural ways of revealing faith – according to tradition: from parents, and from Divine Revelation in the Scriptures, and from holy people.Here we must already speak about the Church, although not in the full scope of this question.Shortly before the death of Fr. John of Kronstadt, God brought me and my friend Fr. Neophyte (who had already died) to visit the holy pastor. It was an unusual conversation, memorable to me, a sinner. But I will remember only one subject here."Father! In order to understand my question, I ask you to remember that we, seminarians, and then students, were cold in our faith; and therefore in others they could not understand its ardor. It was no longer possible to deny it to Fr. John, and more than once I was an eyewitness of his ardent service at the Liturgy and in his sermons... Yes, this is a well-known fact. And for me his faith was like a riddle: what you don't know yourself, everything seems incomprehensible.— Where does faith come from? The already sickly old man asked thoughtfully; and was silent for a while. We waited.—I lived in the Church! The priest suddenly answered firmly and confidently. I, a "theologian," am a student—alas! — did not understand these words: "lived in the Church." What's it? Strange ignorance, the reader will say... I do not deny it; but I confess. But it is sad that future pastors did not understand such simple things as the Church." And it was obvious to Fr. John. I really did not understand his answer - as if he had said something to me in a foreign language... So Nicodemus did not understand Christ the Lord (John 3:4, 9). And I asked again: "What does it mean to live in the Church?" Father John was even somewhat upset: "Well, what does it mean?" Well, I served the Divine Liturgy and other services; I prayed in church in general. Then, after some more thought, he continued: "I liked to read the Menaion in church... Not the Chetyi-Menaion (not the Lives of the Saints)... Although they are beautiful.. And the Menaion is liturgical. He really always went to the left kliros at matins and read the canons to them. With great boldness... Almost as if he demanded their intercession from God. I remember that the first time I had to visit it was on the day of St. Alypius (the Stylite), November 26 [4]. How Fr. John appealed to him with force!—Reverend Father Alypius! pray to God for us!" Pray!" as if he were standing before him and fervently asking for intercession... And the whole service passed with him with force... I don't remember any other details of this important conversation about the Church."That's what it means: to live in the Church," he finished. Gradually, the whole importance of the Church was revealed to me. Now, recalling the past, the first and even the second periods of my faith, I must confess that it was not held together by the Word of God, much less by the lives of the saints or the works of the Holy Fathers. It can be said that I almost did not even read the latter, as well as the Lives: neither in the theological school, nor in the seminary... Is it strange? "Undoubtedly... But no one was interested in these sources, and none of the elders even told us about their importance, did not warm up interest. I myself was a librarian in the seminary, I saw these thick books, I also remember the leather bindings of the Philokalia [5]; but he never even opened the lids in them. And the Scriptures, as I have already written, were only a textbook, and a cold one at that. Consequently, my faith, like that of other comrades, lived not by the Word of God, not by lives, but by something else. With what? I have already said: by parental and common tradition, and even by their own heart. But that's not all. After all, everyone had traditions and a heart, but not everyone remained believers. There are many reasons for this. And one of the most important is the Church. The same Fr. John of Kronstadt in his diary "My Life in Christ" said the following (I am writing from memory): "I still wonder: how is it that our intelligent people, who have departed from the life of the Church, still preserve the remnants of the faith?" And on the contrary, I happened to hear from a Christian woman already abroad such reasonable words: "I am sure that if anyone attends church constantly, he cannot be an unbeliever." I will reveal it a little from experience, which is known to almost all of us.Perhaps some people will think that preaching has had an effect on us? People value their word so highly now... No! Until the Academy, I do not remember a single case when sermons made a strong impression on me at all. And they were almost never pronounced in the theological school and seminary. During the communion of the clergy in the altar, the singers sang something "concert". What then? Perhaps reading passages from the Epistle and the Gospel? — Not either. We almost never understood the Apostle. Yes! And they regarded it from the point of view of the loudness and beauty of the voice. And we knew the Gospel by heart; and never reading it captured our hearts... It passed by... What then? Could it be those canons that Father John loved to read from the Menaion? Even less. And if we did, it was more beautiful singing of irmoses [6]; especially if there was a "trio" of wonderful tenors and bass.Then what is left of the "Church"? — The most important thing is that this simple standing in the church; of course, participation in the prayers pronounced (for each to a different degree); well, and hearing the Word of God... This "service," especially the Liturgy, by itself, that is, without any special participation of the mind, preserved and educated our faith. This is the simplest thing: I was in church, I went to mass, I defended the service – in some wondrous ways they kept faith in us... What? "We never thought about it... Have you ever wondered? "And yet it was this very 'walking' that nourished us most of all... I am not even talking about the extraordinary moments of confession and Holy Communion: then, of course, we rose to a more intense height. But these moments were so rare... Once or twice a year... Consequently, our faith received from our fathers could not rest on them. Namely, on those constantly recurring "holidays"; Sundays, the Twelve Great Days, at the four fasts, at the memorials of the saints... After all, if you look around now, you see that all life was intertwined with the Church: the Introduction came, you already hear the irmoses for the Nativity: "Christ is born, glorify!"; Christmastide came, there was a whole wreath of feasts: Christmas, Circumcision and New Year. Baptism, Basil the Great, John the Baptist; on the eve of Christmas — Christmas Eve, do not eat until the star; on the eve of Epiphany – not to drink before holy water... Christmastide, holy days have passed, Shrovetide and Lent are coming soon: mournful good news, dark vestments, communion (and fish were not supposed to be eaten: except for the Annunciation and the Entry into Jerusalem), sincere confession, Holy Communion... And this is for a month and a half. And there are the striking days of passion: the reading of the 12 Gospels. The Shroud, the burial of Christ... And the midnight Bright Matins... Easter! The Resurrection of Christ... God, what a joy. For a whole week the trezvon is continuous.St. George's Day is coming soon: the cattle are driven out, a prayer service is served; Cows that have become emaciated during the winter are sprinkled with holy water, and they go to the meadow to nibble on the still skinny grass. Ascension... Trinity with greenery and flowers... "Ivan-Kupala" - June 24... "Peter and Paul"... Fasting again... "Kazanskaya"... We have a one-year fair in our district. And here the first "Spas" (August 1) with poppy seeds is already close; and the second "Saviour" – the Transfiguration with apples (previously we strictly observed: sin is eaten before consecration)... The third post is Dormition. The third "Saviour" is the image not made by hands (August 16). "Beheading" of the Head of the Forerunner (August 29). Nativity of the Virgin (September 8) ... "Exaltation" – as they used to say in the village – of the Cross of the Lord (September 14). Autumn "Kazanskaya" (October 22). And again – "Introduction"... Fast again. And again the holidays are spinning all year round. And how many special saints there are in a year! Spring and winter Nikola. "Eudoceia of the Martyrs". "The Standing of Mary of Egypt"; "Spiridon Turn" (December 12), "Michael the Archangel", "Ivan the Theologian". "Gerasim of Jordan" with a lion (March 4): the rooks have arrived. "Alexei the Man of God" (March 17): larks were baked! "Kozmo-Demyan" – not once a year, Marina the "Red" (July 17) [7]... To be afraid of a fire... "Elijah the Prophet"; You can't work at all - he will punish you... "Flora and Laurus, St. Pantelemon" healers... And this is a whole year... And each Sunday is in essence a remembrance of Pascha... Well, who among the Russians did not know all this? The most illiterate peasant lived in this circle of ideas and everyday life. Whether the sermon was preached in church, whether he understood the Apostle (everyone understood the Gospel), whether he delved into "what is there" on the kliros reading the "sexton," all this is not so important. But this is what he remembers: tomorrow is Sunday or special holidays: he must go to church, "stand"... And even if he stays at home, he still knows that he is now "festive"... And I heard the bell. Or maybe at least one of the family comes down and "brings grace"... And on major holidays: on Christmas, on Epiphany, on Easter, and on the "patronal" "father" with icons they will go to every home, sing a prayer service, sprinkle holy water, kiss the cross, congratulate on the holiday. And in our village they also honored the Intercession (October 1). Weddings on this day were celebrated in all the villages around... The peasants left with field work, sowed new "ozimi", sold the excess at the market... And you can marry children... After the wedding in the church, we feasted for three days... That's all... And then everyone has something special: who has a child - christening, looking for godfathers, naming; someone else died: general sympathy and participation in the funeral; if someone falls ill, you have to follow the priest, you need to "inform" him, or even give him the Unction later... And so all life revolved all year round the churches of God. It is not for nothing that they were placed in the best place, and built higher, and decorated with bells, domes, icons, candles and lamps... There it is, "life in the Church"... And even if we look at it only from the point of view of at least the continuous education of people for a whole year, then how can we not be surprised at the amazing wisdom of those who came up with all this and spent it in everyday life! This is not even a human invention, calculated in advance and specially invented by someone... No, this is the wise institution of the Holy Spirit, "the King of Heaven, the Comforter, the Spirit of truth"... The Word of Christ the Lord is being fulfilled: "I will build My Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it" (Matt. 16:18). "But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit...," He said to His disciples before His death, "shall teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said unto you" (John 14:26). Paul taught his assistant Timothy: "I write to you, ... that if I tarry, thou mayest know how to act in the house of God, which is the Church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth" (1 Tim. 3:14, 15). She is our Spiritual Mother... Neither parents, nor school, nor sermons, nor even the Divine books taught us proper, but it was the Church of God, our Mother, with all its all-wise structure and way of life... Teaching also entered into this imperceptibly: everyone knew the basics of faith and the education of morality: everyone knew what was good or bad. And how else did they know! Dostoevsky is amazed at how deep the concept of sin and holiness was in the Russian consciousness! I remember that the English, who came to Russia, in the Moscow Trinity Lavra, asked the professors of the academy how Russians, most of them illiterate, knew Orthodoxy. And we received the answer: from the Church... That's the truth! It is quite rightly said that the Church is a mother, an educator: not only spiritually and grace-filled, through the sacraments, but even spiritually (psychologically), through its entire liturgical and educational system. Perhaps I will repeat myself in something out of forgetfulness; It's not a big deal.

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