The Lord was merciful and showed a great miracle to me, unworthy. At two o'clock, after Liturgy, in deep thought, I walked through the streets, thinking about my service, and suddenly I saw that I was in Goncharny Lane, now, I think, it is called Volodarsky Street, it is near Taganskaya Square. I looked at my watch, it was already five o'clock, which meant that I had been thinking for three hours. What brings me here? Childhood memories or something else? I saw that I was standing near the house of my friend, whom I had not met for several years. I didn't know about his life now, I wanted to pass, but an incomprehensible force drew me to come in. He rang the bell, Kostya himself opened the door, he was very happy, but said: Peter! Wait in the next room, now I have Vladyka Hilarion, Bishop of Verey, there will be a long and important conversation. I felt that I was in the way, and after saying a few words, I began to say goodbye and had already opened the door to the staircase, but I heard the sound of the door opening and an authoritative voice saying: Hieromonk Arseny! I am waiting for you. I shuddered. It was a great miracle. I entered, and Vladyka Hilarion blessed me and invited me to sit down. I saw Vladyka for the first time, although I had heard a lot about him, they said that he was close to Patriarch Tikhon. I had almost no contact with the bishops, how could he know about me, the third priest of a small Moscow church located far from the Garden Ring, in the merchant district?

Tell us about your doubts. How could Vladyka Hilarion know about my tormenting reflections and doubts? Shy, he began to tell. Vladyka interrupted me, saying: I have time, throw away your shyness and speak as if you were going to confession.

Throwing away his shyness, not even afraid to say something not quite correct from the point of view of the established rules, he began his confused story, full of doubts and a search for the path of his priesthood. I spoke about my desire to organize a community, about how I wanted to conduct spiritual work in it and instruct spiritual children. He spoke about many things, Vladyka listened attentively, did not interrupt. I cited the Lord's commandments, said that I wanted to instill in the souls of parishioners faith in God, love for one's neighbor, so that this would give a person the opportunity to follow the path of faith and love and find the right path among the surrounding sin, evil and violence in our cruel time of persecution of Orthodoxy.

Serving in church, communicating with parishioners, confessing them, among their diverse mass, I saw people who could accept the great and correct path of the Optina service, but there were also other believers, with peculiarities of their lives, psyche, character and environment, who were not able to accept it. What to do? I must teach everyone to believe in God, to teach them to love the people around them and, having put into their souls, hearts, and minds resistance to evil, violence, godlessness, and atheism, to force people to cast aside all the bad by their faith in God and love, to be able to orient themselves in the confusion of life and evil. Those spiritual children in whom there was a special spirit of faith should be led along the path of the Optina Elders.

The path taken by the rector of the church, Fr. Paul, was traditional for the city clergy and, in my opinion, did not give inner spiritual fortitude.

Everything that he thought and dreamed about, he boldly expressed before Vladyka Hilarion, he was embarrassed and even frightened. Who am I to expound before Vladyka my thoughts on the ways of guiding spiritual children?

After listening to me attentively, Vladyka Hilarion began to speak to me as if he had known my whole life, mentioned my mother, my passion for art, life in Optina, and spoke very warmly about Fr. Paul. He stood up, turned to the icons and said: Let us pray. I read the prayers, sat down, and I remained standing.

Do you want to combine the two directions into one: the Optina and the one that lives in our parishes, with your rector, Fr. Paul? You want to instill love for the Lord, as it is said in the commandments, and love for your neighbor as for yourself, and thereby create in the soul of a person resistance to sins, persecution, confusion, godlessness, and falls. Our meeting took place by God's will and is necessary for both of us. I, Bishop Hilarion, bless you to follow the path you have chosen, uniting the two paths in one. I will report on our conversation to His Holiness the Patriarch. I bless you, follow the chosen path. The Lord will preserve you in all troubles and misfortunes. I fell to my knees, and Vladyka, putting his hand on my head, once again blessed me. Throughout our conversation he was concentrated and serious, and only with the last blessing did a kind smile appear on his face. I don't remember now, but I think he was a secretary to His Holiness Patriarch Tikhon [26].

From that moment on, I went with the blessing of a remarkable church figure, later Archbishop of Verey, who died in prison, endured the Solovetsky camp, humiliation, beatings, and was met by Hieromonk Seraphim in Solovki for a humiliating cleaning of sewage (you know Fr. Seraphim and remember his memories of meeting Vladyka).

The meeting with Archbishop Hilarion was an extraordinary, miraculous manifestation of the Lord's mercy to me, an insignificant priest who began serving in a small Moscow church. In a person's life, a miracle cannot be accidental, it is determined by the degree of his spirituality, the need to influence his inner world. Such a miracle was given to me by the Lord through Vladyka Hilarion, and I walked along this path, always remembering the blessing I had received.

Returning to my church, I served a moleben of thanksgiving, told everything to Fr. Paul, and he said to me: If Vladyka Hilarion has blessed you, walk this path, Vladyka is a man of deep spirituality. I, an old man, shouldn't relearn, but I'll help you.

From that day on, I began serving in the church, guided by the decision I made. Every day we served an early mass, trying to make everything understandable and clear to the parishioners, introducing them, as it were, into the circle of participants in the service. I made an agreement with Deacon Fr. Lev (who died in the camp in 1937) that every word of the litanies would be loud and clear, and I also spoke with the choir, which consisted of three women. About 810 people came to the early mass, mostly those who lived close to the church, no one came to me for confession. There were always a lot of people at the late Mass, Fr. Paul served, and I was the helping priest. Fr. Paul had a queue of confessors, and I was standing at the lectern, the cross and the Gospel were lying, but the parishioners were not coming. Father Pavel began to send confessors to me, they came reluctantly, but when they came, he confessed for a long time, told me about the meaning of confession, spoke about the need to pray daily and read a chapter of the Gospel. They listened absent-mindedly, sometimes even entered into an argument, but gradually about ten fifteen people began to come to me. He organized conversations and teachings in the evening.

Father Pavel rejoiced for me and sent many confessors to me, but Fr. Michael, the second priest, for some reason hated me, calling me a sectarian and a heretic. Soon he drank heavily and left for another parish. The community grew, improved, Gleb was ordained a priest, you became my assistants. Of great importance to me was the parting words and blessings of Vladyka Hilarion, the knowledge acquired in the Optina Hermitage, the instructions of the Elders Nektarios and Anatoly, the great mercy of the Lord that His Holiness Patriarch Tikhon sent me to the church where Archpriest Paul was the rector. Do you remember the joint reports at the interviews that we conducted at that time? How much benefit they have brought to all of you (unfortunately, many are no longer among us). The community grew, you grew, and I taught you and learned from you!

We saw that Fr. Arseny was tired. Doctors Irina and Yulia stood up at the same time and said: Father Arseny! We forbid you to talk further, continue tomorrow. I must definitely tell everything, it is necessary. Yulia waved her hand to us, we went out.