Lessons of Salvation - Life Equals Eternity

Forgiveness

We are guilty before our offender * The Holy Fathers did not give moral advice * Praying for those who offend us, we please God * Learn to forgive from the martyrs * The people suffered because they rebelled against their Church * Pleasure from evil * The angry one is always wrong * What will we say at the Last Judgment? * If you do not want to be saved, then God will not help you * Offenses are needed for humility * Sincerely consider yourself worthy of punishment * "Weep that there is no weeping" * Prayer with malice offends God * Forgive not in words, but in the heart * Fruitless donations * 59. If we are offended by anyone, we must say: I have sinned, forgive for God's sake. (2) Even a non-Christian understands that if he has sinned against someone, he must ask forgiveness. Although many Christians do not do this, they are embarrassed to ask for forgiveness when they are to blame. Elder Theophan speaks of the opposite situation: I was offended by some person, and I must realize my guilt before him, because because of my sinfulness, God allowed him to insult me, perhaps unjustly, but for my benefit. 60. If, however, the heart is troubled by an offense, then one should not express confusion in words, but should refrain from them with all one's might... Otherwise, neither our prayers nor other virtues, no matter how great they may be, will be pleasing to the Lord God. (3) I will add: even if we have only inwardly reviled the person who has offended us, all our exploits are useless. If they immediately repented of murmuring, then it is another matter. 61. And the sister who insulted her, pray for her. (32) When we read the Holy Fathers, we must understand that they do not give any empty moral advice. They give practical spiritual advice, and if a person follows it, he receives real benefits. If someone has insulted us and we do not give ourselves over to evil thoughts, but begin to pray both for ourselves and for the offender, then God will grant us peace of heart. This, of course, is not some kind of magical technique, as some people think, but this is the truth, because our God is merciful, and when we beg Him for help, He helps us, and when we pray for our offenders, He also rejoices for us. After all, he himself prayed for his offenders. 62. "His miracles were rejected, He Himself was scolded, beaten, and finally nailed to the cross, and with His last breath He said: 'Father, forgive them: for they know not what they do' (Lk. 23, 34). (32) If we want to enter the kingdom of heaven, we have no other way but the way of Christ, and we must imitate Christ in forgiving our offenders. Christ, being a God-man, had the power to destroy all His enemies, but He endured everything in order to save us. He endured, Christ's sufferings were not illusory: when He was beaten, He was hurt, when He was insulted, He realized the injustice of the insults. But He overcame all this with His infinite divine love, that is, He forgave His tormentors and murderers and, wishing them repentance and salvation, prayed for them. We mostly deal with petty grievances and petty grievances, but do we remain victorious in these petty battles? How to treat suffering correctly, how to forgive, not to take revenge, not to condemn – this can be learned from our New Martyrs, who showed themselves to be true Christians during the persecutions, when, defeated physically, they were victorious spiritually. The terrible iniquities and executions committed during the communist tyranny harmed, of course, those who committed them, and not their victims. The people who rebelled against their Church also suffered from this. The martyrs themselves found eternal blessed life through suffering. And they won with their forgiveness. St. Vladimir of Kiev, Archpriest Philosopher Ornatsky and many others blessed their murderers before their deaths, prayed for them, as Christ did for his crucifiers. The New Martyrs prayed for the unfortunate people who killed them and thereby destroyed themselves. And this prayer of theirs, their forgiveness, the fact that they did not reject their people, did not hate, did not condemn their tormentors and murderers - all this turned out to be a guarantee that the people nevertheless rose up, and the Lord gives us the opportunity to be reborn and again become the people of God. We must learn from our martyrs and confessors of love, learn to forgive at least our petty offenders. After all, they offend us - they step on our feet, answer rudely in the store, delay wages. If we begin to forgive these tormentors, pray for them, and reproach ourselves for irritation, then, if God sends us difficult trials, we will be ready to pray for our murderers and crucifiers. 63. To take revenge, to be indignant, to grumble, to complain, to be displeased, to hurt someone with a word seems pleasant to us, and the enemy rejoices at this. (32) We do not pay attention to the fact that we often take pleasure in our own evil thoughts and evil words. Let us watch ourselves and see that when someone offends us, it is pleasant to cherish anger against the offender. We will also be responsible for such a perverted pleasure. And the enemy rejoices at our schadenfreude, and he rejoices, naturally, at our destruction. 64. Do not be angry: let not the sun go down on your anger! (139) It would be good not to be angry at all. But, in any case, we should not consider ourselves right when we are angry, but we should reproach ourselves, pray to get out of this state. By doing so, a person acquires spiritual experience. When a person is angry and believes that he is right, and the one against whom he is angry is guilty, this is completely unchristian reasoning. Let us think about it: fasting requires willpower, patience, and physical strength is needed to make prostrations. But in order to confess that since I am offended by someone, angry with someone, it means that I am in a sinful state, and God is the judge of other people, for this I need nothing but good will. If we refuse to offer this small sacrifice - the consciousness that I myself am to blame for being in a sinful state, then at the Last Judgment we will have nothing to say to God in our justification. It's the same as it happens that parents drag their child to the institute, they are looking for connections anyway, and they pay money, they pushed him into the institute - but he still does not go there, he walks with friends. Everything is done for him, but if he does not want to study, then he will not. If a person does not want to save his soul, then Almighty God Himself cannot do anything. 65. I advise you in your prayers to mention those sisters who seem hostile to you: they do you more good than anyone else... and praise is useless for us. (181) Our salvation is accomplished through those who offend us, who are hostile to us. Naturally, it is unpleasant for us to see these people, but we must know that they help our salvation with their evil manifestations, and harm themselves by doing so. We need to intercede for them before God, pray for them and in no case respond to them with malice. 66. And in oneself, imagining one's sins, think: I am worthy of punishment and more than this. 2 If each of us remembers his own life, he will find many ugly things in it, of which no one knows and for which we have not been punished. If we do not want the punishment we deserve for our sins, then we do not need to seek undeserved respect for ourselves. God sends illnesses and sorrows, including insults from people, only to humble us for our benefit. Therefore, there is no need to be offended. You need to sincerely consider yourself worthy of punishment. And as long as we do not think so, being in sinful insensibility and ignorance of our sins, all the more must we humble ourselves, all the more must we endure the hardships that alone can crush us. St. John Climacus wrote: "Weep over your sins, and if there is no weeping, then weep over the fact that there is no weeping." 67. There is no need to take revenge: Vengeance is mine, I will repay. (139) There is no need to worry about revenge. The Lord will deal with the offender himself. Good is the sinner whom God will punish in this life. It is worse if he repays in eternity. 68. And if someone has offended him, and the enemy will present that person, in order to turn the prayer into nothing or lead it into sin, then remember the words of the Saviour: "When you stand praying, let him go, if you have any grudge against anyone, and your Father who is in heaven will forgive you your trespasses" (Mark 11:25). (162) Satan's goal is to interfere with our prayer, so the demons try in every possible way to remind us of something offensive, to inflame our passions. The enemy achieves his goal when we continue to get angry when we remember the offenders. As long as we struggle with the enemy's thoughts, although we are distracted from prayer, we still do not sin. If there is agreement with the "just" feeling of resentment, then our prayer becomes more than just useless. By holding on to anger, we not only destroy prayer, we make it offensive to God, we turn it into a sin. The condition for forgiving our sins is very simple and easy: if we forgive, then we will also be forgiven. In this sense, salvation is in our hands. But the enemy usually evokes the mood that everything will work out anyway, as if there is no need to save oneself at all. He puts us to sleep, and we forget both about the commandments of God and about the Last Judgment. If, on occasion, we still remember the Last Judgment, the demons immediately confuse us with the thought of the incredible difficulty of salvation. Indeed, it is not easy to attain a high measure of perfection, for this you need to devote yourself entirely to God. But in order to receive God's forgiveness of sins, one only needs to believe in Christ Himself. And He says: Forgive me, and you will be forgiven. 69. Forgiveness must be done from the heart. (242) Most often we ask forgiveness formally, if only to get rid of it, and we forgive only in words, and not in our hearts. And sometimes it comes to the point that we use the name of God as a curse. "Save, Lord" sometimes sounds like a curse on our lips. For years we go to church, but nothing changes in our souls: malice, condemnation and no spiritual struggle. After all, God does not require anything special from us. Ascetics go into the wilderness, carrying out lofty feats. This is not required of us - just be patient, only admit that you are a sinner in the depths of your heart, only admit that you yourself are to blame, if you are irritated with someone, if you offend someone... And we all get angry, condemn, grumble. If something bright shines in us, it does not shine for long, and then disappears again, as in a bottomless abyss. The Monk Abba Dorotheus writes: "Some do not forgive for a day, another for two, another week or more - all such are under hell." And we do not forgive for months. And if after a week we are forgiven, then we consider ourselves ascetics. A person must forgive immediately (it is said: let not the sun go down on your anger). There is no need to flatter yourself. No matter how many prostrations we make, no matter how much we donate to the church (we can donate millions, those who have them, we can take everything out of the house and put it in the middle of the church), this will not be imputed to us if we do not forgive. Because there is no commandment about donating one's belongings, but there is a commandment about mercy and forgiveness. And if we do not fulfill it, then our donations, our labors for the Church are completely fruitless. And if we also take credit for them, then we will be all the more condemned for this. Even the Old Testament prophet Hosea wrote that what is needed is not sacrifice, but mercy. 70. If there is any displeasure against the sister inside, pray inwardly for the sister, and ask for forgiveness in a word. (457) Of course, one should ask for forgiveness when the irritation is not contained within but manifested outwardly. If a person knows nothing about our evil thoughts about him, we should not tempt him with words about forgiveness, but we should turn to God in our thoughts, asking Him for forgiveness. If we hesitate and do not fight our temptations, if we hold a grudge against a brother or sister, then we commit a real sin that we need to repent of. If we reproach ourselves and pray for our neighbor, if we do not agree with evil thoughts, then we wage a battle, for which, if we do not surrender to the enemy, we will receive a crown from God.

Pride

Part 1

We condemn our neighbors because we do not know ourselves * "Self-justification closes the spiritual eyes" * Instead of shortcomings, look for the image of God in people * If you want to make a mistake, trust yourself * Someone else's soul is in the dark * God judges the depth of the human heart * "Where the fall occurred, there pride preceded" * Grace and pride are two things incompatible * In bodily rest, grace is diminished * Truth rarely coincides with our opinion * It is more difficult for the strong to humble themselves, than the weak * Woe to the man whose name is higher than his deeds * How Christians become pagans * Tune in to lifelong repentance * Why people fall into delusion * Good deeds are worse than evil ones * Falls are a cure for pride * 71. The enemy, the devil, can present such a mirror to your spiritual eyes that you will see all the shortcomings and sins of others. We must look more at ourselves. (81) Such a mirror is placed before all of us, and we are mostly occupied with considering the faults of others. This in itself gives us unclean pleasure, and besides, against the background of sinners, according to our understanding, we seem better to ourselves. We also enjoy this. If we do not break this devil's mirror with God's help, we will doom ourselves to eternal torment. When passions do not bother us, it begins to seem that we are sinless, and then we easily condemn our neighbors. We condemn because we do not know ourselves. If we knew what condition we ourselves are in, we would not dare to condemn anyone. All the impurity that we see in people is also in us. And if we were holy, then we would not have even a hint of condemnation. The Holy Fathers interpret that the passion of condemnation deprives us of the opportunity to see our neighbors as they really are. Struck by this passion, we cannot help anyone spiritually. Therefore, if we notice condemnation (verbal or mental), we must immediately stop it and always reproach ourselves alone. 72. [The spirit of condemnation] is an inquisitive spirit, a spirit of pride, a spirit of vanity. Deliver, O God, from this soul-destroying spirit! (81) If we are not engaged in self-reproach, prayer, and the struggle with our passions, then we inevitably look at the external world with an unclean eye. "Self-justification closes spiritual eyes, and then a person sees not what is in reality," wrote St. Nikon of Optina. If we live a correct spiritual life, then we will gradually come to the point where we will not care about the shortcomings of others. Our soul will begin to be cleansed, we will begin to see the image of God in people. And if we gain some love for our neighbors, we will be able to help them get rid of their shortcomings. If we did not condemn anyone with humility, but saw our passions and reproached ourselves for them, then God would not allow us to fall into temptations. 73. Pray: Lord! Cleanse me from my secrets, and spare thy servant from strangers. Here pray for the cleansing of your sins, and from strangers, that you may deliver them from the condemnation of your neighbors and from slander. (193) There is a pernicious misconception that the sin of condemning one's neighbor is not so great and therefore not severely punishable. And yet, by violating God's commandment "Judge not," we try to occupy the throne of God, becoming like the devil himself, who was cast down from Heaven precisely for this sin. Our worldly sins are one thing, for example, Vanya and Petya fought, and if they try to overthrow the president, it will be a state crime, for which severe punishment is imposed. In the same way, when we undertake to judge our neighbors, we no longer just sin pettily, but commit a grave crime against God and subject ourselves to the well-deserved wrath of God. 74. We do not live in a time of persecution; but it cannot be said that even now there are no persecutions: there are persecutions from the enemy, - now he presents one thing, then another, in order to lead to despondency, sorrow, despair, in order to somehow tear him away from God - he imagines what did not happen at all, he enlarges, he makes a mountain out of a poppy seed. (391) We are used to trusting ourselves. And in vain. Believe it or not, we are almost always wrong. Nothing but empty fantasies. Someone turned around strangely - it seems to me that he is not happy with me. But in fact, maybe his neck is itching. Someone smiled at me - it means he liked me. And he is just in a good mood. The demons do not sleep, they whisper to us: they think badly of you, they are going to offend you, they are plotting evil against you. But these are not always demonic suggestions, our souls are so corrupted that they themselves are attuned to such a demonic perception of the environment. Let everyone think about whether we know ourselves well, what our heart movements are, whether we can figure them out for ourselves: is the thought good or evil, am I acting according to God's commandment or not? Moreover, we cannot know what is going on in the heart of another person. Therefore, when we see something good in others, we must thank God for what is good in the world, but when we see something bad, we must avoid condemnation and in general from any judgment, but commit everything into the hands of God. 75. Whoever lives well, let him think of himself as better than others, nourishes in himself harmful thoughts. (446) This is the usual temptation: we look around us with a proud eye, and therefore it seems to us that there are few who are saved. St. John of the Ladder says that the demons of vanity strive to show us our good deeds. And as soon as we see them, we immediately lose the benefit that we could have from them. We are incapable of seeing our virtue without self-satisfaction and self-exaltation. At the same time, by judging others, we completely destroy all our already insignificant acquisitions. Even if a person has done many wonderful and great deeds, but condemns others, then spiritually all his deeds turn out to be fruitless. 76. If the thought comes to condemn my sister, immediately say: Save, O Lord, and have mercy on my sister, and by her holy prayers give me humility. (447) Usually such instructions are taken in a moral sense: that we should not be bad, but should be good. In fact, we cannot change so suddenly, at will. It is easy to break a cup, but sometimes it is easy and impossible to glue it together. It is the same with the human soul - it is easy to fall into sin, but it is difficult to be cleansed of it. The above words of the elder should be understood in the literal sense. If someone causes our discontent, we need to pray for ourselves and for this person. And gradually the spirit of condemnation will recede. By the way, I will remind you of the two main obstacles to communion of the Holy Mysteries. First, a state of grave sin, for example, if a person is in enmity with someone. Although for some reason we are not inclined to consider this a grave sin in our insanity. Secondly, when a person considers himself worthy of Communion, when he thinks: I have prepared well, I have been cleansed, now I can receive the Holy Mysteries into the pure vessel of my soul. This is a state of delusion. If one dares to approach the Chalice with such dreams, then one can commune oneself in condemnation, provoking the wrath of God upon oneself. 77. Sometimes we do not think about whom we neglect; and he, perhaps, pleased the Lord more than anyone else. (448) God's judgment is different, another human judgment. We should not think that if people have a good opinion of us, then we are also good before God. God has His own judgment. He judges the depth of the human heart, and not external actions. Of course, if a person falls into grave sins, this is a sign that his heart is not in order. But he can repent at any time and change radically. That is why we should not condemn people as incorrigible sinners. Let's say that someone did something wrong. This is a fact. But thoughts that this person is bad cannot be accepted. It is necessary to distinguish what is in reality from what we think about it. A person can act like an enemy of Christ. But to think of him as an enemy of Christ is a sinful condemnation. Only God knows what a person is really like. All judgment must be left to God, the only judge who never makes mistakes. You should not be deceived at your own expense and fantasize that I live badly, but I have a good heart. Is it really good? 78. God is always with us! He gives grace to the humble. (11) God is always with us, with all, and gives grace only to the humble. But God resists the proud. The fact that He is all-merciful is precisely confirmed by the fact that He punishes us for pride by encouraging us to reform. When we fall into sin, we look for the reason around us: someone has seduced us, circumstances have turned out this way - in general, something has happened and I have fallen into sin. This is wrong. Because the cause of sin is within us. St. John of the Ladder writes: "Where the fall occurred, there pride preceded." Pride is the source of all sin. When we exalt ourselves with our imaginary virtues, or even real ones, we thereby make ourselves displeasing to God, and He, in order to bring us to our senses (if no other means help), sometimes allows us to fall into a grave sin, so that we cease to think highly of ourselves. The cause of despair is also pride. The Church teaches that there is no unforgivable sin, except for unrepentant sin. Therefore, if we have fallen even into a grave sin, we must sincerely repent of it, forsake it, and firmly believe that God forgives us. So in this sense, there is no reason for despair. Demons, when they draw a person into sin, depict God as loving to mankind, all-forgiving, and suggest that it is possible to sin, and then repent. When a person sins, they begin to frighten him with the Last Judgment, with the fact that the sin is so great that it is no longer possible to forgive it. Both are lies. When we feel tempted, then we should remember the Last Judgment and the fact that it is not known whether we will still have time to repent. And if you have sinned by God's permission, then you need to repent and firmly hope for God's mercy. 79. Without humility, even if they wear sackcloth, even if they wear chains, even if they have excessive fasting, all this will not do any good: "Learn from Me, that I am meek and humble in heart." And who is the teacher? Christ the Savior Himself. The vain and proud cannot be at peace anywhere. (41) As long as we have vanity and pride, we will never be able to find peace of heart anywhere. "And they cannot be in the Kingdom of Heaven unless they are cleansed here." Vanity and pride are in each of us. For example, not everyone drinks vodka, not everyone steals, not everyone fornicates, and we are all sinful with vanity and especially pride. At almost every matins we hear these words: "Bring down the mighty from the throne and lift up the humble." The fact that we seem strong to ourselves is precisely what prevents us from reaching the throne in the Kingdom of Heaven. God drives us away from this throne, although it was originally intended for us, because we are children of God by grace, we must reign with Christ in the Kingdom of Heaven. But this Kingdom is preserved by humility. If there is no humility, then grace drives us away from there. External feats can be good and effective when a person bears them with humility. The great ascetics wore chains, sackcloth, made many prostrations, endured cruel fasting, slept on the bare ground, on the stones. But they did not consider all this to be some kind of good deed, they simply knew from experience that with bodily rest, grace is diminished. When a person is proud of his feats, he clearly betrays God, clearly sins. It is better not to bear any external feats than to bear them with pride. And when a person humbles himself, then God will indicate the measure of bodily podvig. 80. Satan is very disgusted with the humble monastic life. He wants us to be proud, reproachful, and murmuring. (79) Satan is not only disgusted with the monastic life, but Satan is disgusted with all humble life, and he tries at all costs to upset the spiritual state of man. When there is a small fire in the house, then the residents can still somehow fight it, and when there is a big one, then everything dies. In the same way, Satan tries to fan our pride into a great conflagration, so that man may finally perish. We still have a passion for reproach and murmuring. It's very scary. St. Isaac the Syrian writes that God tolerates every person, He does not tolerate only a person who always murmurs. A tendency to reproach, a desire to insist on one's opinion is a manifestation of pride, and not at all a sign of a strong and firm character. Strength of character is required for another - for obedience and humility, here you need firmness, perseverance, and perseverance. You need to defend not your opinion, you need to defend the truth. And the truth too rarely coincides with our opinion, especially if we insist on it.

Part 2

81. And in whom [Satan] succeeds in fulfilling his will, he leads him out of the monastery into the world, into his former state. (79) Satan does not only lead people out of the monastery. It happens that a person has left his former sinful life, has taken the path of repentance, but because of his inattention he accepts demonic thoughts, and the demons kindle passions in him and try to lure him, a monk from the monastery, a layman from the church. In patristic literature there is such a comparison: just as a dog tries to grab a piece of meat, drag it aside and eat it there calmly, so the demons try to lure a person out of the salvific church environment and, when he is left alone, seized by his pride, finally destroy him. We need to struggle with all our might against thoughts of dissatisfaction with our situation and murmuring against people, and even more so against God. Very often monks are confused by thoughts that they need to move from one monastery to another, those who work in the church - that they need to move to another church, family people - that they need to create another family. All these are the enemy's temptations. The Holy Fathers teach that we should change our place of residence only in cases when the environment inclines us to sin and there is a threat of falling. As long as people around us sin and we do not (meaning grave, gross sins), we must struggle with thoughts of condemnation, pray for everyone. But if we are drawn into sins, if, for example, a husband not only drinks himself, but also drags his wife into drunkenness, or he himself fornicates and inclines her to do the same, then yes, we need to flee from a place where we become infected with evil from those around us. When we are simply not honored, we are simply told something wrong or were not given something, then all this is just good for the soul. 82. One should not be proud: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. There is no need to be vain, but to attribute all that we have to the glory of God: not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Thy name give glory. (139) Not everyone knows the difference between pride and vanity. A vain person in his soul cares about how he appears before people, but a proud person sometimes does not care how people think of him, it is enough for him that he thinks highly of himself. Pride must still be recognized. "The signs of pride are humiliation or contempt of one's neighbors and negligence about confession, and pride itself is imperceptible to a person," writes St. Ignatius Brianchaninov. Not everyone, perhaps, understands why vanity is so bad. A person does good deeds, and he wants people to praise him for them. But this very desire convicts him of caring not for heavenly things, but for earthly things. No matter what good deeds a person does, they bring him nothing for eternity, if he is concerned not with the eternal, but with the temporal. By the way, about the love of money. We are mostly not rich people, but it is not a matter of the amount of money, things, houses and cars, but of the fact that we have a surplus, something that would be better done without. What is Surplus? This is all that we acquire through love of glory, voluptuousness, and love of money. If a person buys himself a steel spoon, and not an aluminum one, because he is ashamed in front of guests, then this spoon will be a luxury for him. If a person puts money on a book, hoping that it will save him from some adversity, it means that he does not hope in God, and this money turns out to be his condemnation. Weddings alone are worth a lot. Because of petty vanity, a lot of money is spent that could be given to the young to buy themselves something really necessary. And we, instead of confessing: "Lord, I am weak, out of vanity I arrange these feasts", we think that we are hospitable hosts (how can people be offended). Hospitality is when, say, you want to be alone, but a person comes and asks to let him spend the night. And we do not lie down to sleep, but cook food for him, make his bed - in general, we sacrifice our time and energy. And when we receive well-fed and satisfied guests, spending a lot of money on it, this is vanity in its purest form. 83. "Learn from Me, that I am meek." Who is the Teacher? And the proud and vain cannot be at peace anywhere; and they cannot be in the Kingdom of Heaven unless all this is purified here. (276) The cause of our anxiety, of all our temptations and sorrows, is pride and vanity. It is they who prevent us from entering the Kingdom of Heaven. Many people believe that we are small, weak people, and the commandments are written for the strong. Not at all. In order to humble yourself, you don't need anything special. It is more difficult to humble yourself for a strong, gifted person. Those who do not have any special physical, spiritual or spiritual gifts are easier to humble themselves. That is why God usually does not give them to us, so that at least we are not tempted by this. 84. All importance lies in humility alone; No matter how many prostrations you make, and if you think that you are leading a cruel life, what is there in these labors? Nothing at all. (297) This applies literally to all of us. It can be assumed that he does not belong to any particularly dangerous criminals, but, as far as I know from literature, even people who lead a grossly sinful life, nevertheless, find something to praise themselves for, boast of their evil deeds. And if a person does not commit grave sins, then he considers himself almost a saint, he praises himself for everything. Thoughts that praise us should be looked upon as robbers. By doing a good deed, we, figuratively speaking, acquire a treasure for eternity, but as soon as we praise ourselves, we let the thief in - and we are left with nothing. In St. John of the Ladder we read about an ascetic who had great gifts from God, but, unfortunately, took credit for them. When he was dying, demons approached him before the eyes of the brethren and began an argument with him. He began to justify himself to them, and thus, arguing with the demons, his soul departed into eternity. And there is no certainty that the posthumous fate of this ascetic is consoling. We should not rely on works and gifts, but only on God. Whether we live well or badly, we live worse than we should. 85. A Traveler... he saved money for a bell in a certain hermitage and before the time was ripe he said: how will he bring it and leave it at the monastery gates, and he himself will go into the forest; they will see, be surprised, and guess: "Ah! This is Bratkov, for sure" - they will go to look for him, as they will treat him and thank him! He went swimming and drowned, and that was the end of all his plans! (299) This man was naïve. Of course, we are not so naïve, we usually do not say anything like this out loud, but only in our hearts we delight in dreams of glory and honor. Vanity is our common misfortune. It plunders the heart of man, leaving us spiritually barren. There is a story about a girl who did many good deeds, and everyone respected her for it. After her death, the maiden appeared in a vision to her acquaintance - she appeared weeping and unhappy. An acquaintance asked: "Why do you feel so bad, since you lived virtuously?" She answered: "I lived virtuously, but everyone respected and praised me, and I accepted these praises." The Monk Barsanuphius the Great said that woe to the man whose name is higher than his deeds. The same thought, reproaching himself, was repeated more than once by St. Macarius of Optina. This is how the Holy Fathers taught and lived, they tried to hide their virtues, avoided glory and praise. And we, on the contrary, try our best to make people think of us better than we really are. We are partly right. If we suddenly saw ourselves and those around us without embellishment, as we really are, then we would fall through the ground from horror and shame. It is much more useful for our souls when people scold us rather than praise us. But we usually do not receive this benefit, since we do not seek humility. When I am not honored, not appreciated, deprived of something or humiliated, then in my heart I am indignant and condemn people who do not want to honor my idol - my "I". I myself worship him and therefore I believe that I have the right to expect the same from others. The one who does not want to worship my idol is naturally a heretic. He is an atheist who rejects my divinity. This is how the ancient pagans reasoned, and so do we, modern Christian pagans. 86. You complain about your mental disorder; you cannot overcome a proud temper and a hot-tempered habit, and even more so the condemnation of others. To this I answer Your Reverence: we are now not in a worldly life, but in a spiritual one; You have just entered into it and should be considered a novice, then it is not surprising that the ingrained habit in worldly life overcomes spiritual life. (146) And we are all novices, so we need not be surprised that passions live in us. It is good that we want to be cleansed of passions, that we want to live sinlessly, but we need to know that our illness is serious, and just as a person, when he is seriously ill, needs to be treated for a long time, so we need to tune in to a long, lifelong repentance. Don't think that I'm going to get down to business and become a saint in two weeks. For God, of course, everything is possible, such exceptional cases have happened, but it has always been associated with great suffering. Usually, a person struggles with himself all his life, and his whole life, whether short or long, is spent in the struggle with his passions. If he does not fall into despair, does not give up, fights, repents, then God, of course, will not deceive him, and he will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. 87. Many people desire to see something in a dream, but they go mad because of it, and there is no need to wish because it sometimes leads to pride, they say: "Here I am worthy of a vision; And this is from the enemy. (322) Even if a true vision comes to us, we should not tell anyone about it unless absolutely necessary. But people like us cannot expect true visions. We do not want to be saved, we are not interested in the real spiritual life, but out of pride, vanity and curiosity we want special experiences, visions, miracles. True experiences, those that are from God, are given by grace, when the Lord deems it necessary, and not when we ourselves seek it. So if there is a vision for miracles, it is at best a product of their own fallen nature. At worst, it has come to the point that God allows demons to act. St. Isaac the Syrian said that whoever approaches a speculative life for the sake of its sweetness before learning an active life, finds the wrath of God upon him. An active life means a struggle with one's passions, the fulfillment of God's commandments. When a person is significantly successful in this, he can, by a special calling and blessing of God, pass on to a contemplative life, which is indeed associated with many consolations. But people who have not yet labored in the fulfillment of God's commandments, who are not called by God to a contemplative life, but strive for it only because of spiritual voluptuousness, incur the wrath of God. They often fall into demonic delusion or go mad. 88. If the Lord God judges us not according to our sins, but according to the salvific actions we have performed, then even here not everyone living will be justified; but rather let us put our trust in His great mercy; There is no need to despair - who can be worthy? (11) In literature and painting, a not very successful plot is common: at the Last Judgment, our good and evil deeds are weighed. Too optimistic a picture. After all, our good deeds are often worse than evil ones, because we are proud of them and defile them. Under no circumstances should we rely on our virtues and calculate what we have more, good or bad. We must rely only on the mercy of God. But God expects mercy from us as well. "I desire mercy, and not sacrifice" - we read in the book of the prophet Hosea (Hosea 6:6). This should be understood not in such a way that by giving to the poor or donating to the church, we pay for some of our sins, but in such a way that, by showing mercy to our neighbors, a person attracts God's mercy to himself. In the Acts of the Holy Apostles, the case of Cornelius the centurion is described, who was a pagan, but, believing in God, lived virtuously. In itself this could not save him, but his prayers and almsgiving, as the angel said to him, "came as a memorial before God" (Acts 10:4). And God sent the Apostle Peter to him, who baptized him, and then Cornelius, having taken the path of Christ, received salvation. 89. If you do anything good, then do not ascribe it to God's helpful goodness, then evil and a fall will follow. (247) Here we are talking about good deeds that are not characteristic of us. Of course, it happens that we do something good, but we always forget that this is not our gift to God, but, on the contrary, God in His love gives us the grace-filled power so that we can do something good at least sometimes. It would be natural to thank the Lord for this from the bottom of our hearts. But, blinded by pride, we attribute all the good to ourselves, to our imaginary goodness, to our fictitious righteousness. The deeds themselves remain good (for example, someone cares for the sick or does good to the Church, someone works hard, prays a lot), but for eternity they are devalued by our self-satisfaction. It is for this insane pride that the Lord is forced to punish us, again for our admonition. Sometimes, as a healing punishment, we are allowed to fall. In other words, we are tempted and, failing to resist it, fall into sin. Such a fall, as a cure for pride, is called upon to humble us, to induce us to repentance, and to teach us to soberly evaluate the thoughts that come to us. The Lord Himself, again having mercy on us with His grace, helps us to rise. How successful such a "therapy" will be, whether we want to accept His help, depends only on us.

Obedience

We do not listen to God, but to our unclean hearts * Spiritual progress is in cutting off one's will * Satan takes the wayward into his power * A person is free if he does not part with God * Passions deprive us of freedom, not circumstances * Strong people are obedient, not weak * Irritation against elders is a satanic feeling * It is easier to save oneself on low obediences * Troubles are sent to us for salvation * "Innocent" passions * We trust ourselves more, What the saints trusted themselves * Why the devil does not tolerate guidance * It is good when desires are not fulfilled * Despair is the fruit of resistance to God * 90. The unhumble, the disobedient, the disobedient - only to the detriment of his soul he lives in a monastery. (477) This applies not only to monastics. Any person lives to the detriment of his soul if he does not humble himself, does not reject his will and does not obey. One should not neglect this property of the human soul - obedience. A person can live in such an environment that there is no one to obey. But if his heart is obedient, he will obey God. And God will find a way to declare His will to him. And when the heart is stubborn, not inclined to obedience, then a person can live among the spirit-bearing elders, and this will not give him anything, because he will listen not to them, but to his own impure heart. 91. Any obedience can save: obedience is more than fasting and prayer. (341) This refers to monastic obedience, a work entrusted to a monk, which for some reason may not please him. But if he rejects his will and fulfills obedience without murmuring, then it will bring him more benefit than even fasting and prayer. 92. Where there is no obedience, there is no God, and there is no guardian angel; and where there is obedience, there is God, there is an Angel. (418) It may be harsh, but it is accurate. When a person is determined to do his own will, then even the guardian angel departs from him. "Spiritual success must be sought in the cutting off of one's will," wrote St. Ignatius Brianchaninov. This is the root of Orthodox asceticism. Without the rejection of self-will, spiritual growth is impossible. Whether it is the monastic path, where the monk cuts off his will before the abbot and the brethren, whether it is the path of obedience to the Spirit-bearing elder, whether it is the path of a layman with no instructors, in any case the path to salvation lies through the renunciation of one's own will. "This deed mortifies the passions and leads us out, as from hell, from carnal wisdom," writes St. Ignatius. The rejection of self-will allows the Divine will to be freely manifested in us, and the whole meaning of asceticism is to harmonize our will with the will of God. 93. The abbess must be honored. Those who revere her are touched by the grace of God; but those who neglect this duty, the grace of God departs from them, and the enemy takes such into his power. Neglect means pride, and God opposes the proud. (70) Veneration is not spoken of in the sense that the abbot, or the superior, or the parents are necessarily holy. It is not said, "Honor your holy parents," it says, "Honor your father and your mother." This applies to all earthly rulers, since all fatherhood and all rulership is an image of God's fatherhood and God's rulership. Obedience is pleasing, dear to God, leads into communion with God, and murmuring is harmful. We are obliged to fight against murmuring, self-will, and pride, and to respect the authorities. If the boss encourages us to sin, to violate the commandments, then, of course, we should not obey. But in life, this happens very rarely. Usually there is simply something that is not according to us, something we do not like, and we inwardly rebel against our spiritual fathers, parents, superiors, and this is where our pride is manifested. And there is no need to justify yourself with the benefit of the cause or anything else. All those who tried to rebel against the authorities of their own free will experienced that "the enemy takes such people into his power." It is better not to take risks and not to try. It's like trying to lie under a car. Of course, he can slow down. Then we will experience that we almost died. Or maybe not slow down and crush us. So it is wiser to fulfill God's commandment: "Honor your father and your mother." God gives grace out of His mercy, and we lose it for our sins. Whether God will ever want to give grace again is unknown to us, so it is better to keep it in obedience. 94. Here is my advice: the superior should immediately obey what she says, as if it were God's command. Whatever obedience there is, everything is to the Lord God. (420) When a boss (any boss, not just the one we like) gives us an assignment, we shouldn't speculate about how wise the boss is, whether he's mistaken or not. It is necessary, without hesitation, to fulfill this commission, unless, of course, it is a question of violating the commandments of God. Even if the boss makes a mistake, we do not make a mistake in obeying him. It is very important to cut off your will before God and not to trust your thoughts. We must serve God and be inwardly free, have freedom in God, no matter what position we occupy in the world. Worldly status can be high, but if a person is bound by his passions, he will never be free. And vice versa, in the lowest position (being in a concentration camp, sitting in solitary confinement, etc.), a person can remain internally free if he does not part with God. We are bound hand and foot by our passions. They deprive us of freedom, not external circumstances. 95. If I do not listen to the abbess, I will not listen to Christ, the Son of God. (425) Through the rulers, the will of God is proclaimed. And it is easier to obey the one who is freer from passions. When the soul is seized by desires that seem good to us, we are unable to obey either God or people - desires tear us apart. Gradually freeing himself from passions, a person receives inner freedom, it becomes easier for him to listen to both God and people. Obedience should not be confused with compliance. Strong, strong-willed natures are more capable of obedience. A weak-willed person is disobedient because obedience requires overcoming internal and external obstacles, and this requires a strong will, perseverance, and perseverance. 96. One should accept obedience not with vexation, not with a frowning face, but with love, as from God Himself, with joy, in silence. (420) Whatever position we occupy, we are essentially slaves if we simply submit to force and do what our soul does not desire. If we were to seek the will of God and, whether we like it or not, act according to it, we would always have peace in our souls. And often it turns out that we do something unwillingly, but only out of fear or to please someone. It also happens that a person does a seemingly good deed, but not for the sake of God, but out of vanity, self-interest or other passion. Everyone can notice that very often, when the boss is at work, the priest is at church, parents give instructions to children, then a certain feeling of resistance and protest arises inside. This special irritation against the elders is a satanic feeling. The devil tries to turn the younger ones against the elders, in order to deprive everyone of all edification and guidance, to lead everyone astray, confuse and destroy them. 97. The lowest obediences, and with the memory of God, are higher than the lofty ones performed with scattered thoughts. (422) It is obvious that the basis of striving for high obediences is pride and, of course, its closest friends: vanity, love of money, voluptuousness. If we were guided not by pride, but by the desire to fulfill the will of God, then we would humbly, with the fear of God, take up important, significant deeds that are entrusted to us, and we would go to low obediences with love and gratitude. In low obediences it is easier to be saved. That is why the Holy Fathers always tried to avoid lofty obediences, but sought out the lowest ones. In our case, it is the opposite. But if this is so, if our state of mind is opposite to that which possessed the saints, then we need urgent help - repentance, repentance and repentance. 98. Whatever obedience may be, even if it is with the memory of God, it is an acceptable sacrifice to the Lord God. (421) It is a common temptation to evaluate obediences as high and low, pleasant and unpleasant. But it is not the content of obedience that is important, but the attitude towards it. You can be a bishop, you can be a president, but if you live absent-mindedly, to please your passions, then you are a complete nothing before God. Or you can clean the manure in the cowshed, but at the same time have the memory of God, and this work will turn out to be a sacrifice pleasing to God. It is very useful to mentally transfer, with all the external and internal circumstances of our life, to the Last Judgment. Here everything immediately falls into place. On the one hand, we see that almost all of our ordinary joys, for which we are ready to thank God from the bottom of our hearts (if we remember Him at all), are not good for us. After all, what are we usually happy about? From bodily pleasures, worldly successes, material acquisitions - from that which has nothing to do with eternal life. On the other hand, it becomes clear that all the troubles and injustices, insults, humiliations, illnesses and failures, everything that we constantly grumbled about, were sent to us for salvation. If we endured these hardships with good humor, if we endured them by thanking God, then through this we would be prepared for eternal life. That is why the memory of God, the memory of death, is a great gift of God. But the Lord does not force His gifts on those who reject them, on those who do not thirst for them. Let us labor with our minds, let us labor with our spirits, urging ourselves to the memory of death, let us try to desire our salvation. And the Lord does not refuse those who hunger for righteousness. 99. When you are told, "Go there," and you always answer only, "Bless," then you would have many who are being saved. And instead of that, the opposite thought: that I am alone, that there are no others, that I am sick, that others do nothing, that I am all one, is not the property of those who are being saved. (426) This is the typical mental wind that arises in our head when we are asked to do something. If a person gives himself over to these thoughts, if he does not reject them, it is difficult for him to be saved. 100. One was called to obedience while he was writing; It was necessary to draw one line to complete the word, and he left that too. (426) This is an example from the Otechnik, very instructive. A certain elder in the wilderness had many disciples, but he loved one more than the others, and everyone grumbled against him for this. They complained to another elder. He began to ask the first: "Why do you love this monk so much?" They began to enter the cells of the disciples and asked them to do something. Everyone answered: I will finish what I have begun now, and I will come. We also went to the "favorite". He did not even finish the word, he immediately ran to fulfill his obedience. It was then that everyone understood why the elder was so disposed towards this monk. 101. Those who are humble, those who are patient, those who are obedient, must follow. (431) The renunciation of one's will for the sake of God's will is the most important moment in spiritual life. If we never take this path, I don't know how we will be saved. Nothing good can be expected from self-will. Even our good deeds are most often associated with self-will. We do them for the sake of some passion. Passions often have a decent appearance. Passions are not necessarily drunkenness, fornication, theft, something obviously bad. A person is strongly attached to his children, relatives, loves science, art, and his work. These are seemingly innocent attachments, but they nail us to the earthly, temporary, and without condemning them in ourselves, without trying to get rid of them, we will not attain the Kingdom of God. Having taken the path of rejection of his will, a person can save his soul with relatively little effort. God does not require anything special from us. St. Theophan the Recluse says that if a person lives a correct inner life, then gradually God Himself leads him into the necessary feats. Without unnecessary effort, without unnecessary reflection on the part of man, the Lord Himself saves the one who has completely trusted Him. 102. What you know, you know from demons; when the elder says anything, it is from God, now it is holy. (476) The very rejection of one's will is good. Volition is given to man in order to seek the will of God, and not his own - this is what is important to understand. In communication with our spiritual mentors, we should seek not our material benefits, not some external acquisitions and spiritual consolations, but spiritual success. How do we do it? You ask for advice, you will fulfill it, and if as a result of this life improves, then well done, it is right that you consulted with your mentor. And if the advice led to undesirable results, it means that he asked in vain. The Holy Fathers teach otherwise. In the book of the Monks Barsanuphius and John, such a case is described. A man came to Elder Barsanuphius and said: "My son is sick, help me." He answered: "Go. Everything will be fine." The man leaves, confident that the son will recover, and the son dies. He returns in confusion to the elder, and the elder explains that he meant spiritual, and not carnal. The soul of the deceased was "in order", that is, quite ready for a safe transition into eternity. We should build our trust in our mentors not on whether their predictions come true or not, but on how much we inwardly succeed from communicating with them. It is impossible for us to imitate the feats of the saints, but it is possible and necessary to learn from them distrust of our thoughts. We are weak and should not trust ourselves. With us, however, it is the opposite: realizing that we are weak, we do not dare to follow the path of the Holy Fathers, but we trust ourselves much more than they trusted themselves. 103. The abbess has grieved you, and you should only say with humility: I have sinned, forgive me for God's sake. (598) It is a miracle and a gift of God to be saved through leaders. Trust in a spiritual father is also a gift. Realizing our weakness and opening up to our mentor, we surrender ourselves into God's hands, and God will not allow us to go down the wrong path. A mentor is a person through whom God wants to save us, so the devil does not tolerate mentoring. He will definitely point out the shortcomings of the leader, in any way he will try to denigrate him and involve us in blasphemy. Satan's task is to break the connection with the mentor, to leave the person alone, without guidance (which is very dangerous), or to emasculate this connection, to make it formal, not bringing any benefit. "Turn away your ear from those who blaspheme the teacher, flee from those who slander him" - we read from Archimandrite Agapit of Nilo-Stolobensky. And St. John of the Ladder says that if a thought comes that blasphemes the teacher, then "as from fornication, bounce away from him." Knowing the demonic intrigues, let us be especially careful not to condemn our leaders when they rebuke or punish us. On the contrary, we should be alert if the spiritual father only caresses and welcomes. This most likely indicates our unwillingness to tolerate and endure anything. Then the mentor, in order not to finish off the weak, is forced to say only good and pleasant things. When the spiritual father scolds and rebukes us, this is a sign of some kind of trust, it is assumed that we can already endure something. 104. Obey the mother abbess in all that she has said, as if you had received it from the mouth of God Himself. (600) When spiritual questions arise, one begins to wonder which priest to turn to, which one to obey, how spiritual the person I am asking is, how capable he is of proclaiming the will of God. But we are not able to determine the spiritual measure of a person by external signs. Nor can we understand our own feelings properly. For example, there is trust in a certain person, but such a disposition is not necessarily granted to us by God. It can be carnal if it is based on purely human sympathy. Or maybe from Satan. If the enemy has inspired trust in evil people, then they begin to believe false teachers and fall into sects. First of all, we should be concerned not with who is in front of us, but with what our own intention is. If a person, turning to a spiritual father for advice, wants to cut off his will and humbly fulfill the will of God, then the Lord will never shame or deceive. When a person does not trust his reason, understands that he is a sinner, is not able to comprehend the will of God on his own, but wants to fulfill it, then this is manifested in his humility, which is pleasing to God, which attracts God's grace. This is true obedience, when a person first rejects his will and is ready to accept any blessing from God, and only then asks what he should do. In such a dispensation, God can declare His will to a person not only through a saint, but also through a weak priest, and through a layman, and even through a dumb animal. We know an example from the Holy Scriptures, when a donkey spoke with a human voice in order to restrain a person from an evil deed. So the Lord will certainly find a way to declare His will to those who do not trust themselves and hope only in the mercy of God. 105. Why should we be so concerned about the future? The Lord God will arrange for us better than what we think; one must surrender oneself to His holy will. (207) If our desires are not fulfilled, then God has something better in store for us. This is a very important and comforting thought. Therefore, there is no need to be upset when circumstances do not develop according to us. Here is an everyday example. The young man wants to enter the institute, prepares seriously, but for some reason fails at the very first exam. It must be understood that since he, despite all his efforts, did not enter the institute, it means that there was no need to enter there - there was no will of God for this. This means that God is preparing for the young man what is really necessary, useful and salvific for him. In all respects it will be right to seek and fulfill the will of God: both in the sense of our eternal salvation and in the sense of the arrangement of our temporal life. 106. Do not despair of the mercy of our Father in heaven, but try to do His will. (148) Two most important, though seemingly known to all, precepts. They are interconnected. At whatever moment in his life a person decides to do the will of God, he will receive help - God's mercy will accompany him. Even if someone has sinned all his life and angered God, he will repent and turn to God and will always be accepted with love. It does not happen that a person sincerely turns to God and does not find forgiveness. Therefore, there is no reason for despair. Despair in itself is the fruit of unbelief, the fruit of our resistance to God. 107. If one fulfills one's own will, then one must not fulfill the will of God. (417) We live according to our passions, according to our desires. When our desires are not fulfilled, we become nervous, irritated, blame our neighbors or reproach ourselves for the wrong thing - we do not repent of our sins, but scold ourselves for making a mistake. And in the end, this only leads to the multiplication of sin. If we want to live willfully, then we will inevitably turn out to be opponents of God. There is no middle ground here. Either a person will struggle with his passions and try to live according to God's commandments, or he will live according to his passions. 109. If the Lord God leaves us for one minute, where are we good? (408) We are good for nothing. Not only for a moment, if even for a brief moment the Lord leaves us, everything will disappear at once. God is the source of all things, He is the source of all good.

Humility

Part 1

Measures of Spiritual Security * What Is Inner Wealth * Humility - Knowledge of Your Sinfulness * The Lord Blesses Poverty * Compel Yourself to Do Good * Avoid Praise - Commendable * No One Is Worthy of Communion * Self-Pity Rejects from God * We Have Already Deserved Eternal Punishment * Only Those Who Are Aware of Their Weakness Can Sincerely Thank God * Our Accusers Are Our Benefactors * The Path to Peace Is Very Simple * Not Capable of Podvigs, but Capable of Enduring Sorrows * Raised the Dead and Grieved * Through temptations, we recognize our weakness * 110. Spiritual life should be simple, sincere, meek, and submissive. (1) Indeed, the spiritual life should be simple. There are God's commandments, and we must measure ourselves by them. Seeing our weakness in reasoning, we must look for a guide. If there is no teacher, then with heartfelt tears we must fall down to God, so that He Himself may lead us through life, and endure everything that He sends. If a person holds on to this Christian simplicity, then with God's help he is saved. The Elder points out: life should be sincere. What is meant here is not the great virtue of the purity of heart, which is characteristic of the perfect, the saints, which cannot be demanded of people who have just embarked on the spiritual path, but that we must be simple and sincere with people: not to be disingenuous, not to start intrigues, to rely on God. Life should be "meek, submissive." We must love to submit. When a person likes to live according to his own will, this is a sign of a serious spiritual illness - pride. We all suffer from this disease. When a person loves obedience, with God's help, he is healed of this illness and prepares for the Kingdom of Heaven. Those who do not like obedience, but like to act only according to their own reasoning, may be saved with God's help (God is all-powerful), but it is very, very difficult for them to be saved. Obedience is a very important spiritual quality. And even more important is humility. "Humility is salvation without difficulty." This is the thought not only of Theophan of Novoyezersk, it is the thought of many Holy Fathers. Even an extremely weak person who violates many commandments can reach the Kingdom of Heaven if he nevertheless sincerely humbles himself before God. God will send him sorrows that will break his heart, and through their humble patience he can be saved, even without bearing any special feats. Of course, one should not act badly on purpose, but it happens that a person wants good things, and ingrained habits (drug addiction, drunkenness, etc.) have taken possession of him so much that he is no longer able to part with them for the rest of his life. But if he humbles himself, if he bears all the sorrows that the Lord sends him good-naturedly and gratefully, then the path to salvation is not closed to him. And without humility, even an outwardly pure life does not bring any benefit to eternity. 111. The Lord God gives grace for humility. (34) Grace is withheld by humility. There is no other way to preserve grace. The saints had the highest grace-filled gifts, but being close to God, they sincerely considered themselves to be the most insignificant beings, having no merit before God. This humble consciousness provided them with spiritual security, gave them the opportunity to protect the precious gifts of grace. Unlike the saints, we are stricken with vanity and pride, which is why the vessels of our souls have been shattered, unable to receive and retain Divine grace within themselves. Humility is the only means that can glue together a spiritual vessel, restore its integrity. But unfortunately, we do not want to humble ourselves voluntarily, which forces the Lord, Who thirsts for our salvation, to send us sorrows and temptations to help us, the meek enduring of which gives rise to true humility. Our sufferings do not give pleasure to God. He loves us. He would gladly free us from all burdens and give us everything we want, even what we do not even dream of. And He will give it when He finds us humble. Thus, the whole concern of a Christian should not be to find grace, but to acquire humility. If we, with our proud heart, suddenly receive some lofty prayerful experience, some vision or revelation, then we need to be very careful. Such a state is likely to be imaginary, sent not from God, but from the enemy. If the experience is true, really sent by God, then all the more should we give ourselves over to repentant weeping, since we receive the gift of God into a vessel defiled by pride. Wanting to strengthen and sustain, God sometimes gives us some comfort. But even small crumbs of grace turn out to be unsafe for us. Those who struggle in the spiritual life know that when God sends us some spiritual consolation, it is difficult not to accept the demonic thought that praises us. The demons, wishing our destruction, when they cannot lead us into gross sin, begin to praise us for good deeds or for spiritual consolations, fueling our pride. And then God, again in His mercy, so that we do not become completely like demons, allows either temptation, or illness, or takes away grace. In the spiritual life, there is no other way. If only one is comforted by grace-filled states and has no sorrowful ones, it is easy to be carried away by arrogance and delusion. St. John of the Ladder writes that there are almost no people (one or two per century) who, because their grace increases, humble themselves even more. We are frivolous people, and therefore, having received at least some spiritual consolation, we certainly fall into complacency. 112. And just as the poor beg alms from people, so we must constantly cry out to the Lord: Lord, give me humility, patience, and obedience! (77) If we really saw ourselves in great danger, close to destruction, we would pray fervently. After all, if God does not have mercy on us and does not give us everything necessary for salvation, we will perish. But we do not pray or pray very little, because we do not feel this danger. But what to ask of God and what spiritual wealth is, this is still a question. Most Christians consider all kinds of experiences, unusual states to be spiritual gifts. In fact, you need to ask for humility, patience, obedience. Imagine a man asking, "Give me some porridge." He was given two hundred liters of porridge, but he did not have a saucepan, at least a liter. And so they put this porridge in the mud, and it was all gone. In the same way, we ask God for high gifts. And it happens that God grants them to an unworthy person for admonition, then all this, like water from a leaky vessel, is spilled and disappears, because his soul is not ready. One should not be concerned with receiving grace, but with being able to preserve it. 113. God does not require us to bow down when we are in such a situation. (90) God does not demand from a weak person feats that are beyond his strength, but demands humility. What does it mean that he demands? Not in the sense that God needs something from us, but in the sense that we must acquire spiritual qualities corresponding to the Kingdom of Heaven: patience, humility, obedience. If we do not have the strength to fast, if we are mentally weak, God will "invent" something else for us. For example, if God sees that a person is weak, struggles badly, but his soul is Christian, then He will send him a serious illness, bring him to such a state that he willy-nilly begins to fast. If he thanks God at the same time, he will receive the same benefit from illness as from feats. But patience, obedience, humility cannot be replaced by anything. If a person does not humble himself, endures nothing, murmurs, condemns his neighbors, no labors and feats, no sorrows, no illnesses will justify him before God. 114. All importance lies in humility. No matter how many prostrations you make, and you will dream of yourself, that I lead a cruel life, there is no use in these labors. (40) Everyone who leads a godly life, and especially who labors in the temple of God, should pay attention to these words. If we have such thoughts that I work hard for the Lord, I give all my strength and all my soul to the Church, then all this work of ours is completely devalued. If I accept such thoughts, it means that I am oriented towards earthly values, it means that my interests, my soul are turned to the earth. We must do good works for Christ's sake. But if it happens to accept thoughts of praise, then one must ask God for forgiveness and mercy, since we are saved not by works, but by God's mercy alone. When thoughts appear that praise us, we must know that if we do not drive them away from ourselves, then these seemingly innocent thoughts will be followed by carnal temptations, sinful actions, and then grievous falls. The Lord allows them to us in order to humble our pride. It is better, of course, not to bring things to a fall, but just to put up with it in a good way. But if you have already fallen, you need to repent immediately, and not despair. Despair is an even deeper fall. 115. There is no nearest and surest path to salvation than humility, and the greatest reward for him is who, being cruel in temper, brings himself to humility. (23) He will, of course, not without God's help. But truly, the worse a person's natural constitution is, as it were, the greater is the reward in the Kingdom of Heaven, if he nevertheless acquires the virtue of humility. It is necessary to distinguish between natural humility and Christian humility. There are people who are calm by nature, not inclined to self-assertion, who do not like to stand out. Such natural modesty is a given, there is no merit of a person in this, and accordingly, one should not expect a reward. In addition, in such people, natural humility often coexists with excessive pride. Christian humility is a deep heartfelt knowledge of one's weakness and sinfulness. There are people who are proud and arrogant by nature. It is not easy for them to struggle with their nature. Falling and rising, they build their humility at the cost of self-denial. In eternal life, such ascetics will receive a great reward. We are not able to recognize the real inner structure of the people around us and ourselves. The commandment "Judge not" is not just a prohibition, it is also an indication that we are deprived of true knowledge, that the depths of human hearts are hidden from us. Just as we do not see pride hiding under his natural quietness in one person, so we do not recognize his righteousness in another. It happens that a person stands out for his vanity, and people condemn him for pride. But they do not know that this man has already believed in Christ, has taken the path of repentance and has begun to find humility. Although external behavior by inertia may remain the same for some time. We see the surface, we judge the outward appearance, therefore our judgments are unrighteous. 116. "Blessed are the poor in spirit: for to them is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 5:3). A beggar, in the worldly way, is one who lacks the necessities of life, and we must recognize ourselves as poor in spirit, because we have nothing good. (77) Blessedness is promised to the poor by the Saviour Himself. Our trouble is that we all consider ourselves spiritually rich in the depths of our hearts. It would be good if we admit at least intellectually that we lack a lot of things. But if a person thinks of himself as spiritually rich, then this is simply the deepest delusion and a complete lack of spiritual experience. "With the poverty of virtue, spiritual poverty helps, which the Lord Himself blesses. We cannot ascend to the heights of virtues, let us descend into the depths of humility," wrote St. Macarius of Optina. If we lack good deeds and feats, humility can save us, confessing our insignificance before God. It is more pleasant for us to be temporarily proud in anticipation of eternal condemnation than to humble ourselves temporarily, in order to later enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Sometimes, in our minds, we understand that we lack much, but our hearts continue to remain in the pernicious conviction that we are spiritually rich. Such a disagreement between the mind and the heart gives rise to an inner struggle, an "invisible battle," which must be stubbornly, patiently, and courageously waged until the heart is completely cleansed of pride.