For Christ's sake, one cannot become a fool of one's own free will and desire. A blessing is certainly needed for this. It is known that St. Xenia was absent from St. Petersburg for almost eight years. Where did she spend these years? It is unknown, but here is an assumption.

On the southern border of the Nizhny Novgorod region, in the Mordovian forests, on the banks of the Moksha River, stands the Sanaksar Monastery. Founded in the middle of the XVII century, the monastery fell into decay a hundred years later. It was revived by Elder Theodore, whose story seems to be closely intertwined with the story of Xenia and her husband.

In 1719, a son Ioann was born in the family estate of the Ushakovs. Like any nobleman of that time, he received a decent home education, and when he came of age, his parents sent him to the Preobrazhensky Regiment. Friends around were also young and carefree. But one day at an officer's feast, one of the young soldiers, for no reason at all, suddenly fell dead in front of everyone. Healthy, strong, and in a moment – and the man was gone. This happened just at the time when the young Colonel Andrei Fedorovich suddenly died without repentance and church guidance. Wasn't it Petrov? Some suggest that yes, it is.

Struck by the sudden death of his comrade, the brilliant young guardsman Ivan Ushakov abandoned everything: friends, career, military duty and fled to the forests, to seek, to beg for the salvation of his soul. Or the soul of a friend? God knows. And he was only twenty years old. He became a monk, took monastic vows with the name Theodore and devoted his life to prayer and the revival of the Sanaksar monastery, becoming its abbot. For fifteen years he lived in the monastery, under him it turned into one of the main centers of Russian spiritual life. The Monk Theodore of Sanaksar was canonized.

Not far from Sanaksar, Hegumen Theodore founded the Alexis Convent, and it seems that Xenia, his acquaintance from St. Petersburg, the widow of an officer who died suddenly, lived in it for several years.

Most likely, it was Elder Theodore who blessed Xenia for the most difficult Christian feat – foolishness.

For many years I suffered from a serious illness, which was expressed in severe headaches. I was treated by a neurologist. She was an unbeliever. Once I turned to a psychic, and there I had a seizure - my body began to convulse. I felt very bad. Finally, one day the attending physician told me: "We will not cure you," and advised me to go to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra. So I gradually came to God. She often went to the Lavra, attended lectures, but there was no healing.

In 1990, I was visiting my sister in St. Petersburg, and she suggested that we go to the chapel of Blessed Xenia. When I arrived there, at first I doubted: "How will she help me?" But it was through Blessed Xenia that I felt the miraculous mercy of God. In the chapel I met Elder Catherine, who told me: "You will be cured in the monastery, you will come completely different." I remembered these words for the rest of my life. A year later, when I came to my native Temnikov to visit my parents, I went to pray in church, and the local priest advised me to visit the revived Sanaksar Monastery and the grave of Father Theodore /Ushakov/. And it was here that the words of the eldress about healing began to come true.

Through the grace-filled intercession of Elder Theodore before the Lord, I was completely freed from my illness. Now the Sanaksar Monastery and the grave of Elder Theodore are my native place, where I constantly go for spiritual help and support. I continue to visit St. Petersburg and always thank Blessed Xenia...

Elizaveta Kolchanova, Moscow Region, Mozhaisk