What leads to the violation, to the trampling of Christ's commandments, to opposition to the destinies of God, to opposition by vain efforts, murmuring, blasphemy, despair? Forgetting about eternity, forgetting about death, forgetting that we are short-term wanderers on earth; the rejection of the idea that we are exiles on it, the desire to satisfy lusts and passions, the desire to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh and sin, the pernicious deception and deception of oneself, under the charm of which a person insanely abuses his power over himself and his own will, sacrificing himself entirely to earthly vanity, killing himself for the bliss restored by the suffering feat of the Redeemer, preparing for himself an eternal tomb in hell, a coffin for both body and soul.

For let this be thought of in you, even in Christ Jesus,[221] the Apostle Paul exhorts Christians, pointing to the obedience of the God-Man to the destinies of God, to the unquestioning obedience extended to the acceptance of the punishment to which some criminals from the barbarian nations were subjected, from which criminals from the citizens of Rome were free. Putting aside all pride and making it easy to sin in detail, let us flow with patience to the podvig that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author of the faith and the finisher, Who endured the cross instead of the joy that was set before Him, neglecting shame [223]. Think of such a reproach of Him who suffered from sinners on Himself [224], let you not be cold, for you are weakened by your thoughts [225]. Jesus, may He sanctify people with His blood, deigned to suffer outside the gates. Wherefore let us go to Him outside the camp, bearing His reproach [226]. The renunciation of peacefulness is called the departure from the camp and the postponement of all pride. The Apostle reminds us of the Divine consolation pronounced by God to those of His chosen ones, whom He adopted as His sons and whom, as proof of adoption, He visits with sorrows: "My son! Do not despise the chastisement of the Lord, weaken less, we rebuke Him, for the Lord loves him, He chastens him: but He smites every son, whom He receives[227].

Christ suffered for us, says the holy Apostle Peter, leaving us an image, that we may follow in his footsteps [228]. If you do good and endure it in suffering, it is pleasing in the sight of God: for for this you will also ring the bell [229]. Such are the destinies of God! Such is God's decree! Such is the calling of true Christians for the entire time of their earthly pilgrimage! - Beloved Christians to God and Heaven! Do not be surprised, as if at a strange, unusual, out-of-order adventure, that fiery temptation which is sent to you for testing. Rejoice at the onslaught of temptations! As here on earth you are made partakers of Christ's sufferings, so in the future life you will become partakers of His glory and triumph [231]. The house of God is subject to the judgment of God, it needs this judgment [232]. The entire Church of Christ and every Christian are called the House of God. This house requires God's visitation and purification, as one that is subject to constant defilement and damage. And with great help from the sorrows that humble the spirit of man, so inclined to exaltation, salvation is difficult, very difficult. The righteous will hardly escape! [233] If so, what awaits those who oppose the Gospel of God? [234] Where will the wicked and the sinner appear? [235] Acquire humility, because God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble [236]. You will feel the coming of grace through the wondrous calm and consolation that will be poured into your hearts when you confess God's judgment for you righteous, and yourselves worthy of punishment, in need of it. on the contrary, being quickened and inspired by faith, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that ye may in due time bear all your sorrow, that is, all the care and all the solicitude that Nan has, for He cares for you. Sufferers! know that you are suffering according to the will of God; be convinced that without the will of God, without God's permission, no sorrow would have touched you. The Lord has looked mercifully upon you, has been pleased with you, has recognized your heart and life as pleasing to Himself, and therefore has stretched out to you a helping hand in His destinies. He sent (or allowed) your sorrows for your purification, for protection, for the means to attain perfection. Suffering according to the will of God! at the onset of sorrows, devote yourselves entirely to the will and mercy of God, and with special care be diligent in fulfilling the commandments of God [238]. The time of tribulation is that blessed time in which God builds. - Ed.] the soul of His beloved chosen one from among men.

God has established a narrow and sorrowful path from earthly life to Heaven: it is commanded to walk along this path under the cross; on this path, under the burden of His cross, the Leader of the Christian tribe, the incarnate God, passed. The Cross is the patience in the Lord of all sorrows and misfortunes that will be allowed by God's Providence. Such is the judgment of God. What is it based on? - on the fact that a person on earth is a criminal in an exiled place. This criminal is given a short period of earthly life solely in order that he may see his state of fall and rejection, realize the necessity of salvation, and obtain salvation through the Redeemer of men, our Lord Jesus Christ. A criminal who has confessed himself a criminal, who seeks mercy, must confess his sinfulness by his very life. Confession cannot be recognized as sincere when it is not attested by appropriate behavior. The criminal is obliged to prove the truth of his conversion to God by fulfilling the will of God and submitting to this will: he is obliged to offer before God, just and in mercy, the patience of God's punishing allowances, to offer humble patience, as fragrant incense, as an acceptable sacrifice, as a reliable testimony of faith.

All the saints, all without exception, communed of the sorrowful path [239]. All of them ran the field of earthly life on thorns, eating unleavened bread [unleavened bread - Ed.] of various deprivations, sprinkling themselves with bitter hyssop [a plant used for sprinkling liquid - Ed.], constantly drinking a cup of various trials. This was necessary for their salvation and perfection: sorrows served them as a means of spiritual education, healing, and punishment.

A pompous opinion of oneself must necessarily deprive a life that appears to be satisfactory in appearance (241). O Lord, His holy Prophet confesses to God that Thy destiny is the righteousness, and Thou hast truly humbled me [242]. Thy destinies are good[243], in spite of their austere outward appearance. Their consequences are beneficial, life-giving and delightful is their fruit. It is good for me, for Thou hast humbled me, that I may learn by Thy righteousness [244]. I have willed the way of truth, and have not forgotten Thy fate,[245] and have not deviated from Thy destinies,[246] for without obedience to them it is impossible to please Thee. In grievous temptations and misfortunes, finding no help from anywhere, I have remembered Thy fate from all eternity. O Lord, and those who are comforted [247]. I trust in your destinies! [248] Your fate will help me! [249] On the day of the week, that is, I praise unceasingly the destinies of Thy righteousness,[250] the action of man, corresponding to the action of God in His incomprehensible destinies, is an unceasing or, if possible, frequent praise of God. By glorifying God, thoughts of unbelief, faint-heartedness, murmuring, blasphemy, despair are banished, and holy, Divine thoughts are introduced. The Apostle says: "We are judged, we are punished by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world" (251). Amen.

The Conference of the Soul with the Mind

Soul. "I grieve unbearably, I find no consolation anywhere. I find no consolation or consolation either outside or within me. I cannot look at a world full of continuous deception, deception, and murder. Careless contemplation of the world, a few careless glances at its temptations, ignorance of the poisonousness of its impressions, childish, inexperienced credulity in it, attracted its arrows to me, filled me with mortal wounds. Why should I look at the world? Why be curious about it, study it in detail, or become attached to it when I am only a short-lived wanderer in the world? I will certainly leave him, and I do not know when I will leave him. Every day, every hour, I must be ready for the call to eternity. No matter how long my wandering in the desert of the world may be, it is insignificant before the immeasurable eternity, before which hours, days, years, and centuries are equal. The world itself, with all its great pandemonium, is passing by: the earth and all the works in it will be burned up [252]. These deeds will be burned up - the fruits of the fall and rejection of men. The wounds inflicted on me by the world have made the world disgusting to me, but they have not protected me from new wounds. I don't want to be in the middle of the world! I don't want to obey him! I don't want to take any part in serving him! I don't even want to see him! But he pursues me everywhere: he forcibly invades, in charming beauty he presents himself to the eyes, relaxes, wounds, amazes, destroys me. I myself, constantly bearing and containing within myself the principle of self-deception and deception thrown into me by sin, continue to deceive myself with the world: hating it, I am involuntarily attracted to it and greedily drink its poison, pierce deeply into myself the arrows that it shoots at me. - I turn my longing and inquisitive gaze from the world to myself. I don't find anything comforting in myself. Countless sinful passions are boiling in me! I am constantly defiled by various sins: now I am tormented by anger and rancor; then I feel that I am burning with the flame of fornication. My blood is agitated, my imagination is inflamed by some action, alien and hostile to me, and I see seductive images before me, drawing me to the dreaming of sin, to the pleasure of a destructive temptation. I have no strength to flee from seductive images: involuntarily, forcibly, my painful eyes are riveted to them. And there is nowhere to run! I fled into the wilderness: pictures of sin came with me into the wilderness, or preceded me in it, I do not know; in the wilderness they appeared to me with a special, murderous vivacity. These images do not exist: the images, their existence, and beauty are deception and seduction; but together they are alive, and nothing, neither time nor decrepit old age, can kill them. They are washed away from my imagination by a tear of repentance: I have no tears of repentance. They are smoothed out from the imagination by a humble prayer combined with the weeping of the heart: I do not have such a prayer. My heart is devoid of tenderness, deprived of salvific weeping: it is motionless in me, like a fragment of an insensible stone. In spite of my terrible sinfulness, I seldom see my sinfulness. In spite of the fact that in me good is mingled with evil, and has become evil, as fine food is made by poison mixed with poison, I forget the plight of the good given to me at creation, damaged and distorted by the fall. I begin to see in myself my goodness whole, immaculate, and to admire it: my vanity carries me away from the fruitful and fat pasture of repentance to a distant land! to a stony and barren land, to a land of thorns and tares, to a land of lies, self-deception, and destruction. I abandon the fulfillment of Christ's commandments and begin to fulfill the promptings of my heart, to follow its feelings, its will; I boldly call the sensations of fallen nature good, its deeds virtue – this good and this virtue are worthy of earthly and heavenly rewards, human and God's. When I tried to fulfill the commandments of Christ, not heeding the will of the heart and forcing it, I recognized myself as a debt before God and man, an unfaithful and useless slave! Following self-deception, sorrow, despondency, and a kind of terrible darkness appear in me. Sorrow deprives me of moral activity, despondency takes away the strength to fight sin, and darkness is the consequence of sorrow and despondency, thick darkness hides God from me, His impartial and formidable judgment, the promised rewards for Christian virtue, the promised punishments for the rejection of Christianity and its all-holy statutes. I begin to sin fearlessly, with the silence of my conscience, as if it were dead or asleep for that time. Rarely, very rarely, there is a moment of tenderness, light and hope. Then I feel different. But a bright minute is short. My sky is not clear often. Like black clouds, passions again come upon me and again plunge me into darkness, confusion, bewilderment, and destruction. "My mind!" You are the leader of the soul. Instruct me! Bring blissful calm into me! Teach me how to close the entrance to the impressions of the world, how to curb and suppress the passions that arise in myself. The world and passions tormented me, tormented me.

Intellect. - My answer will be disappointing. And I, together with you, soul, am stricken with sin. I know quite well what you have been talking about. How can I help you when I myself have been dealt murderous blows, when I am deprived of the power to act autocratically? In my continuous activity, which has been given to me by the Creator and constitutes my attribute, I am constantly subject to outside influence. This influence is the influence of sin, with which I am damaged and upset. This influence constantly distracts me from God, from eternity, draws me into the deception of the vain and transitory world, into the deception of myself, into the deception of thee, O soul, into the deception of sin, into the deception of the fallen angels. My essential fault lies in the incessantly violent amusement. Overwhelmed by amusement, I soar, wander about the universe without need or use, like other outcast spirits. I would like to stop, but I cannot: entertainment plunders me, carries me away. Plundered by amusement, I cannot look as I should, either at you, soul, or at myself. From amusement I cannot heed the Word of God as I should: outwardly I appear to be attentive, but while I am trying to listen, I involuntarily deviate in all directions, I am carried away very far, to completely extraneous objects, the consideration of which is not only unnecessary for me, but also extremely harmful. From the murderous amusement I cannot offer God a strong, real prayer and be sealed with the fear of God, which would destroy my absent-mindedness and make my thoughts obedient to me, to which my soul would communicate to you, soul, heartfelt contrition and tenderness. From my amusement you are in a state of bitterness; with your bitterness and insensibility, I amuse myself even more. Entertainment is the reason for my weakness in the struggle against sinful thoughts. From amusement I feel darkness and heaviness: when a sinful thought appears, I do not suddenly and not soon recognize it, if it is covered by justification. If he is manifest, then I, arming myself against him, do not show a resolute and irreconcilable hatred for him, enter into conversation with my murderer, delight in the deadly poison that he slyly puts into me. I am seldom victorious, often defeated. Because of my amusement, forgetfulness overwhelms me: I forget God, I forget eternity, I forget the vicissitudes and deceptiveness of the world, I am drawn to it, I carry you with me, my soul. I forget my sins. I forget my fall, I forget my miserable situation: in my darkness and self-deception I begin to find dignity in myself and in you. I begin to seek, to demand recognition of these virtues from the deceitful world, ready to agree for a moment, in order to laugh more viciously afterwards. There are no virtues in us: the dignity of man is completely defiled by the fall, and he will think justly of himself if, as some great ascetic advises, he considers himself an abomination.

But we are not only damaged by sin, we are divided by it, as it were, into two separate beings, acting almost always in opposition to each other. We are separated, opposed to each other, we are separated from God! we are opposed to the All-Holy and All-Perfect God Himself!

Soul. "Your answer is regrettable, but it is fair. This serves as a kind of consolation that our miserable condition is in mutual correlation, and we can share our sorrow, we can help each other. Give us advice on how to get out of our common disorder? I have noticed that my feelings always correspond to your thoughts. The heart cannot struggle with thought for long: it always submits to it, and when it resists, it resists only for a short time. My mind! Be a guide to our common salvation.

Intellect. "I agree that the heart does not resist thought for long. But it, having shown submission for a moment, again rebels against the most correct, against the most God-pleasing thought, rises up with such force and bitterness that it almost always destroys and carries me away. Having deposed me, it begins to breed in me the most absurd thoughts, which serve as an expression and revelation of the innermost passions. What can I say about my thoughts? Because of the disorder and damage to my sin, my thoughts are extremely inconstant. In the morning, for example, certain thoughts were born in me about our spiritual life, about the invisible laborious podvig, about our earthly situation, relationships, circumstances, about our fate in eternity; These thoughts seemed sound. Suddenly, by noon, or earlier, they disappear of their own accord from some unexpected meeting, and are replaced by others, which, in turn, are recognized as worthy of attention. In the evening, new thoughts with new justifications appear. At night I am troubled by other thoughts, which during the day have been hiding somewhere, as if in ambush, so that suddenly appear to me during the silence of the night, to disturb me with the charming and murderous picture of sin.

In vain is this knowledge! In vain is this sure sign, which decisively separates good from evil in the world of spirits! Because of the incomprehensible illness that lives in me, comprehended only by experience, I cannot tear myself away from the murderous thoughts engendered in me by sin. I can neither suppress them nor expel them when they begin to boil in me like worms; I can neither drive them away nor push them away from me when they attack me from without, like robbers, like fierce, bloodthirsty beasts. They hold me captive, in hard work, torment, torment, hourly ready to tear me to pieces, to strike me with eternal death. I involuntarily communicate the torment they inflict on you, O soul, I communicate it to our very body, which is sickly and weak because it is wounded by innumerable ulcers, pierced by arrows and swords of sin. Poisoned by the poison of eternal death, you, O soul, grieve unbearably - you seek consolation, you find it nowhere else. In vain do you think to find this consolation in me: I am killed with you; together with you I am buried in the narrow and gloomy tomb of not seeing and not knowing God. Our attitude towards the living God, as if to the non-existent and dead, is a sure testimony to our own mortification.

Soul. "My leader!" My eye! My supreme spiritual power! My mind! You are driving me into hopelessness. If thou, being my light, acknowledge thyself to be darkness, then what shall I expect from my other powers, which I have in common with dumb animals? What can I expect from my will or power of desire, from jealousy or natural anger, which can only then act differently than they do in cattle, beasts, and demons, when they are under your guidance? Thou hast told me that, with all thy weakness, with all thy darkness, with all thy deadness, the Word of God still works upon thee, and has given thee at least a sign of distinguishing good from evil, wherein lies the greatest difficulty. And I became a partaker of this knowledge! I, too, when I begin to feel embarrassment and frustration, at the same time feel the wrongness of my condition, I feel distrust and hatred towards this state, I try to throw off a state that is unnatural and hostile to me. On the contrary, when you stop, even for a short time, as if in your own embrace, in thoughts drawn from the Word of God, what a consolation I feel! What a praise to God begins from the depths of my heart, from the most heartfelt treasures! What reverence I have for the majesty of God, Who then reveals Himself to me! What an insignificant speck of dust I seem to myself in the midst of a vast and varied universe! What a grace-filled silence, as if brought by the breath of the heavenly wind, begins to blow in me and cool me, exhausted by the heat and lack of rain! What a sweet and healing tear, born in the heart, ascends to the head and flows out of the humble and meek eye that looks at everyone and everything so peacefully, so lovingly! Then I feel the healing of my nature! Then the inner struggle is destroyed! Then my powers, dissected and fragmented by sin, are united into one. Having become one with you and with my other powers, having attracted the body itself to this unity, I feel the mercy of the Creator to His fallen creation, I come to know actively the significance and power of the Redeemer, Who heals me by His all-powerful and life-giving commandment. I confess Him! I see the action of the worshipped All-Holy Spirit, proceeding from the Father and sent by the Son! I see the action of God the Spirit, introduced by God the Word, manifesting His Divinity by His creative power, by means of which the broken vessel appears as if it had never been broken, in primeval wholeness and beauty. My mind! turn to the Word of God, from which we have already borrowed innumerable blessings, but have lost through our negligence, our coldness to the gifts of God. We exchanged priceless spiritual gifts for the deceptive phantom of gifts, under the guise of which sin and the world offered us their poison. My mind! turn to the Word of God! Seek there consolation for me: at the present moment my sorrow is unbearable, and I fear lest I fall into final perdition - into despair.