When a person shows love only to himself, this is not love, it is egoism, anti-love. All our troubles, all our misunderstandings, all our sins come only from the fact that we are incapable of love, and the goal of the spiritual life is precisely to learn this. One can learn only as the Lord says: I have brought fire to earth, and how I would like it to burn already, He speaks precisely of this Divine love. A person, until he meets real, true love in life, cannot understand what it is. Love (I don't want to say this word, but it is the most understandable to our ears) is like a relay race, it is passed on in this way: from Christ to the apostles. He taught them love - and they suddenly turned from faint-hearted, fearful people into fearless lions, who not only willingly went to death, but also showed miracles of courage for the sake of this love. When the Apostle Peter was sentenced to crucifixion, he asked the executioners: please crucify me upside down, because I am a sinful man, and I cannot be crucified like my Teacher. Such was his love and humility. He was condemned to death, monstrous, terrible, very painful, but he did not think about himself - whether it would hurt him to hang or not - he thought only about how not to rise too high, not to dare to be like the Savior in this, and therefore he asked to be nailed upside down. This is the kind of love that is inaccessible to our consciousness. It seems to us that this is a fairy tale, because we have never done such noble deeds in our lives. This is natural - everyone judges for himself. A person who is capable of stealing himself suspects everyone of stealing. And the one who is capable of a noble deed, of love, to the degree of which he himself is capable, understands this in others.

The Apostles lit up the disciples with their love, but centuries passed, two thousand years, and, as it is said in the Scriptures, "because iniquity abounded, the love of many grew cold." This is true, and now, in our lives, we almost do not meet people who show this love. Therefore, we, in fact, have no one to ignite, and this fire is extinguished. Because this fire, this love is holiness, and not just a feeling. But all our concepts of love are corrupted, mixed, we perceive love only through ourselves. Even in our language there is only one word for love: I love cheese, I love sweets - and I love a child, I love my wife, I love my homeland. But everyone understands that loving cheese and loving one's homeland are completely different concepts, although the verb sounds the same.

And that's the whole point, that we still have that love that can be called the word "like": I like cheese. That is, we perceive love only as a feeling that somehow comforts and pleases us. What does it mean: I love her? How does the modern average person understand this? It means that I like her: she is beautiful, she is smart, caring, obedient, affectionate, hardworking, she has beautiful hands, legs, ears, eyes. That is, her appearance, her behavior give me pleasure, so I love. In fact, there is no love here, but there is self-gratification. True love, on the contrary, is regardless of what a person is like in himself, but if I love him, I am ready to do anything for him, whatever my heart commands. I love him, so I am ready to wash, I am ready to clean up after him, I am ready to spend thirty years at his bedside, I am ready to sacrifice myself for him, I am ready to give everything, I am ready to go anywhere. This is what love is, but this is exactly what does not happen, everyone strives to please themselves. Therefore, there are constant quarrels, fights, hatred, ill-will, misunderstanding, mutual suspicion, because no one, in fact, knows what love is, it has become impoverished, and a person does not even know what to do to achieve it.

And the Lord came into the world to gather people together again. If everyone lives for everyone, then everyone will strive for unity, and if everyone lives only for himself, then, on the contrary, for separation. And the more a person tries to bring benefits to himself, the greater this division. And the more self-denial, self-sacrifice a person makes a sacrifice for the sake of love, the more he acquires Divine qualities and the more he tastes this love – this, in fact, is what spiritual life consists of. Therefore, being sinners, being selfish (and these are identical concepts, a sinner is an egoist, loving himself and not loving God, not loving his neighbor), we must gradually force ourselves, our vicious fallen nature, to renounce ourselves, some of our desires and feelings for the sake of our neighbor: I want to feel sorry for myself, I want to lie down, I want something for myself, but I will somehow refuse and do it, on the contrary, for the sake of another person, for whom I have no feelings, but maybe only irritation.

In the Gospel it is said in this way: "Whoever smites you on your right cheek, turn the other cheek to him also" - to try when you are slapped on the cheek, not to be rude in response, but, on the contrary, to accept it with humility and not to get angry, to fight with your feelings - and when we commit such an act, we will see that something will change in us. When we learn to give, and not to take, we will feel the joy of heaven, then we will understand why Basil the Great, being a rich man, gave everything, had only clothes and a few books, he had nothing else. That is why, why does a person do this? Because he, Basil the Great, acquired something more for this, which no money can buy: love cannot be bought. And how do we usually do it? They say: here you are all for her, and she - nothing in return for you; You give everything to your children, and they are so ungrateful. That is, you need to live like this? you to me, and I to you; If you do something to someone, then it is necessary that there is some benefit for yourself. And the Lord says on the contrary, that if you lend and wait for someone to give it back to you, then what is the use? This is what the pagans do. But to do good, not only without expecting an equivalent good in return, but, perhaps, even to receive evil in return, that is, to do it for the sake of the good itself! Like the Lord - He came to earth, did obvious good, humbled Himself so much that He became a man, saved people on the Cross. What is in return for Him? In return, spitting, beatings and a shameful death.

And so, when each of us performs such actions, then he will gradually acquire Divine qualities, he will be a disciple of Christ. As Christ acted, so must we act, even though it is very difficult, because we are sinners. Try to overcome your selfishness, try not to scratch where it itches - how difficult it is! Try to restrain your tongue from evil, and so on. In order to acquire love in one's heart, one needs constant podvig, constant self-denial, and only in this case can it be acquired. It is necessary to fight against every lawlessness, against every sin in oneself. We know from the Scriptures: why does evil increase in the world? Why does love become impoverished? From iniquity, from the fact that a person lives without law, without a king in his head, lives as he thinks or as he sees somewhere. His thoughts are always shaking, he looks like everyone else, that's how he seems, regardless of whether it's good or bad. But there is a Divine law, which is revealed to us by the Lord. What a mercy of God! Indeed: a person does not know what to do, he is in the dark - what to do? Any area of life, whichever you take, is all darkness, you can't see anything. But there is the Holy Scripture. What a beauty: open, read and do! This is what a great grace has been given to us!

And if, in spite of all our desires, aspirations, and opinions, we nevertheless fulfill the law of God in our lives, that is, if we try, being sinners, to live holy, then the Lord, seeing our striving, will gradually cleanse us from sin. And we will gradually scrape off sin after sin from our souls. But we cannot purify ourselves, the Lord Himself will cleanse us. And when we attain in our hearts all the Christian virtues, and above all humility, then the totality of all perfections in our heart will be love.

Some people feel that there is no love in their hearts, and they repent and say: Lord, I have no love. But where will love come from in his heart, when there is love for money, love for comfort, for delicious food, for self-gratification, for a comfortable, serene state, for the entertainment of his mind? Instead of gathering his mind for prayer, so that it would be sharp as a sword, a person, on the contrary, distracts, sits in front of the TV, stares stupidly, absorbs what other people's uncles and aunts put into his head. The mind is constantly soaring back and forth. There is no need to hone it, to make it an instrument of our salvation - man, on the contrary, only dissipates it: if only to have fun, to sit at the table, to eat, to drink, to cackle, to read a book, to go there, to chat here - so the day has passed, and tomorrow morning it will be the same again.

And if we do the opposite, constantly breaking ourselves, constantly gathering ourselves, constantly working – we can do this in any place, in any field – then the Lord, seeing our constant diligence, will gradually purify us, purify us. And we will imperceptibly become different from people incapable of anything, we will gradually acquire the traits of noble people, wise, honest, pure people, our conscience will be cleansed, we will have clarity of mind, kindness, taciturnity, meekness, humility will appear; Little by little, it will grow, grow, grow. And when all this is in abundance, then there will be love.

А пока этого нет - никакой любви нет. А если любви нет, то наша жизнь - это пустой звук. Апостол Павел так и говорит: как "медь звенящая или кимвал звучащий". Никакого толку, пустая консервная банка, пустой звук. Потому что пока человек только себе гребет, его жизнь бессмысленна: греби, греби, греби - куда приблизишься? Вот там, в притворе, гроб стоит, и все, что ты набрал, с этим гробом кончится, и останешься ни с чем. Будет только продолжаться это бесконечное желание грести под себя, а грести-то уже будет нечем, потому что руки черви съедят в могиле. Чем грести? Мучиться будешь: и это хочется, и это хочется - а ничего нет, пустота. Господь сказал: кто ничего не имеет, "у того отнимется и то, что он думает иметь". Ты думаешь, что имеешь детей? Думаешь, что имеешь семью, имеешь образование, имеешь денежки, имеешь квартиру? Это все временно, это все дано в аренду до дня смерти, а дальше ты ничего не имеешь.

Имение истинное - это есть любовь, мир, кротость, воздержание, терпение, целомудрие, вера, благость. Вот умирает человек кроткий - кротость с ним остается, и смирение его с ним остается, и любовь. Все, что он набрал духовного, все идет с ним в Царствие Небесное. А если у тебя одни страсти, то ты несешь с собой муку, страшную муку. Потому что эти стремления, желания - они будут тебя раздирать на части. Пока мы здесь живем, мы можем удовлетворять какие-то желания, и то не всегда. Вот недавно я в больнице полежал, понаблюдал: человека положи на койку на две недели, лиши каких-то утешений, ну даже телевизора - там, в коридоре, телевизор смотрят, а он не смотрит - и он уже мучается. А один так мне и сказал: как это можно жить без телевизора? Единственная надежда, что пройдет месяц-другой, его выпишут, и начнется обычная жизнь. Но человек не понимает, что, когда он умрет, он в аналогичную "больницу" будет уже помещен навечно, и оттуда уже никуда не выпишут, он будет навсегда лишен радио, телевизора, книги, жены - всего. Мука смертная.

Поэтому наша жизнь, если мы не будем стремиться к любви, к стяжанию ее, она бессмысленна, мы готовим себе страшную участь, жуткую, ни с какой больницей не сравнимую. Это будет такая скорбь, как Господь говорит: "плач и скрежет зубов". Останется только зубами скрежетать в бессильной злобе на все и на всех, потому что это будет клубок нереализованных желаний: и это хочу, и это хочу, и это - а ничего нет: ни зеркала, куда посмотреться, ни подружки, к которой сходить язык почесать. Ничего, только я, моя совесть, моя прошлая жизнь, мои грехи - и вот я в этом весь киплю. Какое страдание, какой ужас, какой мрак! И это что, Бог наказал? Нет, Бог никого не наказывает, каждый из нас сам себе готовит участь.

Поэтому Господь нас призывает в Бога богатеть, приобретать свойства Божественные. Как апостол Павел в Послании к Филиппийцам пишет: "В вас должны быть те же чувствования, какие и во Христе Иисусе". У нас должно быть только одно стремление: к правде, к истине, к святости, к любви. И это стремление - оно нас и приведет к Богу. Тогда мы и познаем, что такое любовь, что такое спасение, что такое добродетель и вообще что такое жизнь в Боге. Потому что только тот, кто устремляется в Царствие Небесное, его достигает; тот, кто для этого трудится. Вот, собственно, цель нашей жизни. И Господь всей Своей жизнью и сегодняшним событием, которое мы вспоминаем и духовно и умственно вновь его переживаем, дает нам образ этой удивительной совершенно, нечеловеческой любви к нам. Он исполняет все, что требуется по закону, хотя Он в этом не нуждается. Вот такое снисхождение.

И мы, если хотим научиться любви, тоже должны жить ради ближнего нашего. Мы не боги, поэтому не можем жить для всего человечества, но это и не требуется. Посмотри вокруг! Вот стоят твои ближние, и каждому надо оказать любовь, независимо от того, есть она у тебя или нет. Надо себя нудить на любовь, понуждать себя к поступкам, которые совершают люди благородные, святые, в которых есть любовь. А для этого нужно постоянно распинать свой собственный эгоизм. И если мы так будем делать, то постепенно войдем во вкус и познаем радость: оказывается, давать гораздо блаженнее, чем брать.