But then comes the fourth century B.C., and the grandchildren, and perhaps the children of those very red-cheeked Athenian boys who cackled over Euripides, suddenly discover that the polis, their city-state, which used to be essentially deified and considered almost a living being, is no more than the territory on which their houses stand and their sheep graze. The polis no longer has its own "I", it turns out that people who live in the same city next to each other are no longer united into one single whole, each simply lives his own life, no longer proud of the fact that he is a citizen of such and such a polis and that his polis is better than all others in Greece. Humanity finds itself in the abyss of individualism, and everyone now feels lost in a vast world where there are no ideals except money. An era of general disappointment begins, a person goes into private life, he no longer lives for the good of his native polis, as Tell of Athens lived, but seeks at least some personal happiness, and then he discovers with horror that death has nothing in common with the change of generations in the ranks of citizens sung in the Iliad, which once made the polis only younger and stronger. It turns out that death is my (!) non-existence. The world around me remains, and I leave, I leave home, family, trees around my house, which I have grown with such love, and this departure, alas, is inevitable and inevitable — this is what it is, death. This is the only event that will inevitably take place in everyone's life. Having made this discovery, Greek and then Roman civilization plunged into that state of hysterical fear which Horace so subtly conveyed in his poetry. The decline of antiquity is approaching, and just at this time Jesus is born in Bethlehem.

Miracles of Thy Holy Martyrs

When one reads the biographies of the martyrs of the second and third centuries A.D., or rather the records of their interrogations and reports of their martyrdom, one is amazed not at the courage with which they go to death (which, if you like, seems natural to us, for this is why the Church venerates the martyrs, because they preferred death with Christ to life without Him), but at the horror that grips the Roman officials who condemned these martyrs to death. when they understand that these defendants are not afraid of death. This is what was most incomprehensible to the Romans – how one could not be afraid of death. Often from such a biography it becomes clear that the official who administers the court is not at all evil, but rather, on the contrary, a conscientious person who does not want to condemn anyone to death at all, he would prefer to record in the protocol that the defendant has renounced his superstition, and let him go on all four sides, but for some reason the future martyr is not afraid of death. Why? The unfortunate judge is unable to understand this, although he has read Horace, Virgil, Seneca, and many other writers and scientists, whence this lack of fear of death is some kind of incomprehensible mystery for him.

We know this mystery – the martyrs believed in Jesus, who did not reveal to them any truth, did not give them the secret of the antidote to death, but revealed Himself to them and gave them Himself. In this sense, Jesus is the antipode of Socrates, who urged his disciples to think less about him and to think more about the truth. Jesus, on the other hand, is telling the disciples not to adopt a particular belief system, but simply to follow Him. Therefore, Christianity is not a doctrine, but our real, living and authentic dialogue with Christ, in Christianity it is not the theory that is valuable, but the experience of Christians.

Death helps to see everything without embellishment and debunks everything that is false or at least partially not genuine. Dying, in the face of death, a person ceases to lie, play a role, and even simply behave as he should or as his position requires, in the presence of death he becomes what he really is. Death is so real that no inauthenticity is possible in its presence. You can play, and often successfully, any role while you are alive, but when you are alone with death, you will certainly become yourself. Therefore, it is impossible to teach any technique that can be used not to be afraid of death. If a Christian is not afraid of death, it is not because this is the principle of Christianity, but simply because Jesus gave us not to fear it.

We are not afraid of death, for we know from experience, or at least we feel, that eternal life awaits us beyond its threshold. This is really true. Moreover, I dare to assert that not only we Christians are not afraid of it, nor are those unbelievers who live in a Christian environment and are, perhaps unconsciously, under the influence of the Gospel. We know what the fear of death is not from experience, but mainly from books, we simply have not experienced it, for the light of Christ, as it is said during the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts, really enlightens everyone. Our misfortune, and a very serious one, lies, however, in the fact that, due to our spiritual callousness, we begin to think that Christians, since we are not afraid of death, should not grieve for the departed. In reality, this is not the case. Metus mortis or fear of death is not the pain that any healthy person naturally experiences when separated from loved ones (and this is a horror if for some reason he does not experience it!), metus mortis is the fear that you yourself will not be there in the near future, the horror of the non-existence that awaits you.

The ideology of le College Universitaire

In Moscow, the French University College has been successfully operating at Moscow State University for about five years. Professors from France (there are some brilliant ones among them) come to Russia for a few days and so, in turn, throughout the academic year they give lectures to Moscow students and in general to everyone who expresses a desire to listen to these lectures. Recently, a very educated lady complained to me that the word individu plays an unjustifiably large role in the life of the college, and consequently the extreme individualism which is preached there, and from her point of view is the antipode of Christianity. In fact, it is what the college does that prepares a person (though I am sure the professors who lecture here are unaware of it) for the encounter with Jesus.

Why? For the simple reason that only through extreme individualism, as was the case at the time of the preaching of Jesus and His direct disciples, can one come to true Christianity. In order to become a Christian, it is necessary first to grow out of the collective consciousness, to break away from the "world," for the world of which the Apostle says that it lies in evil is not a world in the sense of monde or world, but a society. That is, society, the world of human relations that have developed without God, outside of God and contrary to the will of God.

Only when he finds himself in the abyss of individualism, only on the verge of death, can a person who grew up both in the Greek polis and in the USSR understand what his "I" is. Both in the Greek polis and in the conditions of any traditional way of life, as well as under the Soviet regime, in any system where the sense of one's own "I" is blurred in the collective consciousness, a person really perceives himself as a "wheel and a cog" (as Lenin aptly put it, who demanded that everyone become such a wheel). Under the Soviet regime, no one felt and simply could not feel responsible for the situation around them, because they understood that they could not change this situation, and therefore did not realize themselves as a person. In the USSR, many of us worked almost day and night, but at the same time, under no circumstances could we earn more than 140, for example, rubles, because part-time work was forbidden for many – in these conditions, a person felt obliged to work, but did not realize his responsibility for the well-being of the family simply because he knew perfectly well that it was impossible to ensure this well-being by honest means, while he saw that his family lived badly, but still did not die of hunger, and therefore put up with the circumstances. No one could quit their job, go to the mountains or the taiga for three months, believing that when they returned, they would find a job again, because they knew that, firstly, they would immediately be declared a parasite, and secondly, they would have a break in their seniority, with which they would not be hired, they would not be paid 100% of their sick leave salary, and then (after 25 years!) they would not be given that pension. what he would be entitled to. Naturally, in such a situation, a person did not feel like a person and seemed to forget that he had his "I", his uniqueness and originality. However, at the same time, he (a Soviet person) felt comfortable in these conditions in his own way, because it is not so necessary to go to the mountains for three months, strictly speaking, and life is bad, despite the fact that there is no roof over his head and a minimum of money remains before the salary, and it is not necessary to pay for the apartment (the main thing is to pay for the phone so that it is not turned off!). In general, it is possible.

But you can't feel like a person in such a situation. To do this, it was necessary to break out of the system. This was the tragedy of Soviet society. Man did not see his "I" in himself and therefore could not feel God, but on the other hand, he hardly thought about death—it existed as if outside his consciousness.

Only by realizing one's own uniqueness, one can discover the uniqueness of God, discover one's "I", and then find oneself face to face with His "I". Only after passing through the jungle of despair and feeling that you are standing above the abyss ("My whole life is standing above the abyss," Jurgis Baltrušaitis once exclaimed), can you feel God and His presence in this world. That is why Horace, a weak, effeminate, immoral, and capricious individualist, was much closer to Jesus (not in a chronological sense, of course) than the honest, bold, and moral Tell of Athens. The latter felt himself to be a "wheel and cog" of his native polis and could not imagine himself outside of it. God can only be met in the desert, and he could not leave the polis, tear himself away from the body and collective in which he grew up, for him the polis was a god.