That this is really so, we will see from the Last Supper, where, "falling down to the heart of Jesus," John drank from him the bitterest mystery of betrayal (John 13:23-26). And if so, then John could have known a lot that the other disciples did not know. Judging by some signs or at least hints from the synoptics themselves (Joseph of Arimathea, a member of the Sanhedrin, an old secret friend of Jesus; the secret night refuge of the Lord in Bethany, it seems, in the house of Lazarus; the unknown owner of the house in Jerusalem must also be an old friend of Jesus, who prepared the upper room for the Last Supper), judging by such hints, the connection is deeper and older than the synoptics know or consider it necessary to talk about it, connects Jesus with Jerusalem. Consequently, between the two points of view – the Galilean one, according to the Synoptics, and the Jerusalem, in the Fourth Gospel, there is no such contradiction at all as it seemed before, but now it seems less and less even to some of the left-wing critics. [606] It is very probable that Jesus spent many days, perhaps even weeks, if not months, in Jerusalem, besides the last Passover. It seems that it is from these Jerusalem days that John flows, inaccessible to the synoptics, the source of historically authentic traditions – memories. [607] To them, perhaps, belongs an event, small in the outward, great in the inner life of the Lord – in the secret life of His heart – the death of Lazarus, His "friend", as He Himself calls him:

Lazarus, our friend, fell asleep (John 11:11),

one of the only three people besides John of whom Jesus is said to have "loved" them (John, 11:3, 5, 36). The historical authenticity of John's testimony of Jesus' love for the sisters of Lazarus, Martha and Mary, is also confirmed by the Third Gospel, which is closest to the Fourth.

XXXI

In the twilight of Sunday morning, as well as in the twilight of Church tradition, three female images mysteriously merge for us: Mary of Bethany, the sister of Lazarus, Mary Magdalene, from whom the Lord cast out seven demons and who, having become His disciple, "served Him in her name" (Luke 8:2-3), and the unknown one who poured myrrh on the Body of the Lord, "prepared Him for burial" (Mark 14:14). 3-9), – perhaps the same sinner of whom it is said:

many of her sins are forgiven her, because she loved much. (Luke 7:36-50).

Wonderfully, terribly, and holy, these three faces merge for us, not only over the tomb of Lazarus, but also over the tomb of the Lord Himself. The first human being to see the risen Christ was not he, but she; not Peter, not John, but Mary. Next to Jesus is Mary, next to the Unknown is the Unknown.

In the ancient mysteries, Isis resurrects Osiris, Demeter-Persephone resurrects Dionysus: the Son – Brother – Bridegroom is resurrected by the Mother – Sister – Bride.

It is the shadow of the future, and the body is in Christ. (Col. 2:17.)

Two Marys, one at the beginning of life, the other at the end; that one gave birth – this one will resurrect.

The mystery of the Eternally Feminine in the Eternally Masculine could be overheard in the heart of the Lord only by those who reclined at that heart – the sixteen-year-old lad John, according to the ancient tradition of the Church, with a face, according to Vinchiev's wondrous conjecture, feminine, or more precisely, more terrible, holier, – masculine charm; only he could drink from the heart of the Lord, like the bee of paradise from the flower of paradise, this purest honey of the purest love, for which there is no name on the human tongue.

XXXII

In vain are all attempts to separate in John's testimony, the alloy of two metals, one of them from the other, History from the Mystery.

Lazarus died; Jesus converses secretly about his death and resurrection with Mary, his sister – this is the story – something that happened once in time. Lazarus was resurrected; Mary sees Lazarus coming out of the tomb: here is the mystery – that which is, was, and will be in eternity. Where the threshold of the door is from one order to another, the boundary line between them, we will never know with certainty; but it seems to be somewhere near the tears of the Lord. The world, to one who looks at it through tears such as these, shakes, melts, flows like molten metal; refracted in the prism of tears, the image of the world seems to be distorted, but in fact restored, straightened; only through such tears can one see the world properly: "the image of this world passes away," and another world shines through it; in what we call a "vision" or a "likeness," a "symbol," and John calls a "miracle-sign," another reality is revealed, greater than the one in which we live.