Answer. Brother! I wonder at thy love, that thou dost not understand the works of love according to God. First of all (I will say): God knows that I consider myself earth, ashes, and utterly worthless. But if I say something to someone beyond my measure, or beyond my strength, then I say, impelled by the love of Christ, I recognize myself, as I have already said, as an insignificant and useless servant. Thou hast not understood my words, and I have made thee my accomplice; for he said that I take upon myself half of your sins, and did not say, "I will bear the third part," and did not suffer you to be carried or burdened more than me. I spoke thus, banishing vanity. I did not say, "Two parts," as if to show myself to be stronger; for such a way of speaking would be vanity; nor did he say, "I will bear it all"; for this is the work of the perfect, who have become brethren of Christ, Who laid down His life for us, and with perfect love loved those who loved Him. If I had not said this, it might have seemed that I was removing you from spiritual work. Therefore, I am not vain, ascribing everything to myself, and I do not envy you, having made you my accomplice in this good participation. If we are brethren, let us divide our Father's riches equally, and there will be no place for unrighteousness. But if you want to lay everything on me, then for the sake of obedience I accept this also. Forgive me that strong love leads me to idle talk; but let it be to you rejoicing in Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom be glory forever, Amen.

165. A petition of the same to the same Great Elder that the Elder pray for him, on the occasion of the illness that has befallen him.

The Great Elder's Answer. The Scripture says: "Thou hast passed through fire and water, and hast brought us forth into rest" (Psalm 65:12); and those who wish to please God must pass through small sorrows. How can we bless the holy martyrs for the sufferings they endured for God's sake, if we ourselves cannot endure fevers? Say to your sorrowful soul: Is not fever better for you than hell? Let us not be faint-hearted in sickness; the Apostle says: "For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10). Look, God searches hearts and bowels. Let us endure, let us endure, let us be disciples of the Apostle, who said: "Endure sorrows" (Romans 12:12), thanking always for all (Ephesians 5:20), so that the word of the Scripture may be fulfilled in us also: "Thou shalt be known unto thee, when thou hast done good unto him" (Psalm 48:19). If you were previously at peace with regard to the body, and a little sorrow was met with your trial, then why do you not remember Job, who said: "If we receive good from the hand of the Lord, shall we not endure the wicked" (Job 2:10)? Know that those who desire rest in all things will one day hear: "Receive your good in your belly" (cf. Luke 16:25). Let us not be weakened; we have a merciful God, Who knows even our weakness more than we do. If He, for the sake of testing, allows sickness to come upon us, then we have healing from the Apostle, who says: "God is faithful, Who will not leave you to be tempted more than you can, but will make with temptation also those which are excessive, that you may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). May the Lord strengthen the sick man and those who serve him, and the deeds of both will be to the glory of God. In order not to be faint-hearted and not to be burdened, look to the end of patience. God is near, Who said: "I shall not forsake thee, but the Imam shall depart from thee" (Heb. 13:5). Believe me, brethren, that vanity has taken possession of me: being ill, I never lay down and did not abandon my needlework, although severe illnesses befell me. But not long before I was locked up in the cell, vanity contrived and did not allow illness to come to me; I grieve now, desiring patience, but I do not know what to endure. Sorrow does not overtake me, and I am faint, hearing that he who endures to the end shall be saved (Mark 13:13). Pray that I may keep the hope of my salvation in Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom be glory forever, Amen.

166. The same Elder, still ill, asked the same Great Elder to pray for him, that God would send him help.

Answer. Having God, do not be afraid, but cast all your cares on Him, and He will take care of you. Or do you not know that if our earthly tabernacle of the body be destroyed, the creation of God is the imam, the tabernacle not made with hands, eternal in heaven (2 Corinthians 5:1). Believe undoubtedly, and God will help you, according to His mercy. To Him be the glory forever, Amen.

167. The same Elder, living with one brother when they both fell ill, asked another Elder (John) to pray for them.

John's answer. The Lord said: "In your patience gain your souls" (Luke 21:19), and the Apostle, following Him, said: "For I will need patience" (Heb. 10:36), and the prophet: "In patience I will endure the Lord, and they will hear me" (Psalm 39:2). But the sweetest Lord our God still says: "He that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved" (Mark 13:13). Be patient, both of you, giving thanks to God and heeding the visitation of God that is taking place over you; for all these things come to pass unto your trial. Consider what you yourselves say: Tempt me, O God... "Punish me" (Psalm 138:23). Please pray for me, for the love of God.

Question 168, the same to the Great Elder. My thought tells me that I cannot be saved; Pray for me, my merciful father, and tell me what to do, I am not able to fast.

Answer. May the God of heaven and earth vouchsafe thee and me, who am unworthy, to receive mercy in that hour, and with boldness to stand before His dreadful and glorious Judgment. Beloved brother! Having such a merciful God, do not give way to despair: for this is a great joy to the devil. Remain in the hope of the Lord, that none of those who have endured to the end in this place will be cast out from the fold of the sheep of Christ our God; for there are people in this place who have great boldness towards God, and they pray earnestly to Him, that we, who live with them, may not be separated from them in that blessed place; but as here in the place which God has chosen for Himself to call upon His name, we remain inseparably, so let us be together in the age to come. Do not be afraid, most honorable (father)! If I, too, weak and thin, have received a message that you have been numbered and assigned to the blessed flock of Christ; how much more did the holy fathers of God and those who were worthy of Him receive the same message. Be patient with the Lord (Psalm 26:14), and trust in Him. About sensual fasting there is no sorrow, it means nothing without spiritual things: that which does not enter into a man without pleasure defiles a man, but proceeds from him (Matt. 15:11); and again (I will say): God gave the monk reasoning in order that it might govern his actions. Consider, beloved, from whom does God require alms, from the poor or from the rich? He said thus: "Cease not to do good to him who asks, if thy hand findeth" (Ecclesiastes 9:10). For this reason, God does not require fasting from those who are weak in body, but from the strong and healthy. Descend a little on the body, and it will not be a sin. God does not require (fasting) of you, because He knows the sickness that He sent you. "Thank God for everything: thanksgiving intercedes for weakness before God. Put off the old man, who decays in the lusts of lovely lusts, and put on the new man, created according to God (Ephesians 4:22, 24). Rejoice in the Lord and rejoice, always comforted, together with His saints. Who can depict, or who can investigate, the ineffable joy of the saints, their ineffable joy and incomparable light; how the Lord here reveals to them the manifestation of His wondrous and most glorious mysteries and the glory and rest prepared for them; how their minds detach themselves from this world, and they always see themselves in heaven with Christ and His Angels. Neither hunger nor thirst – nothing earthly causes them sorrow; for they have gained freedom from worldly reproaches, passions and sins, and in another way I will say in the words of the Scriptures: "For where their treasure is, that is their heart" (Matt. 6:21). Whoever has achieved this knows what he hears. What should I do, having done nothing good? But I do not despair; God is able to number us among those who will receive mercy in Christ Jesus our Lord. Glory to Him with the Father and the Holy Spirit forever and ever, Amen. May the Lord hear His true servants, and may He Himself soon bestow upon you His great mercy, and may He enlighten me, that I may come to the knowledge of the truth. "Pray for me and greet the brother who serves with you, ask him to pray for my unworthiness as well.

Question 169, the same to the same Great Elder. I feel a strong ache in my hands and feet, and I am afraid that this is not from demons; Tell me, my father, is it so? And what should I do, I am very sad that I cannot fast, but have to eat several times (a day)? Also, what does it mean that I dream of wild beasts? I beseech you, Vladyka, for the Lord's sake, send me a small blessing from your holy food and water, so that you may receive consolation for me through them.

Answer. Do not grieve, my beloved, your sickness is not of demons, as you think, but it is God's admonition, (and will serve) us to prosperity, if we thank God. Was not Job a faithful friend of God? And what did he not endure, thanking and blessing God? And patience finally led him to unparalleled glory. Be patient a little and see the glory of God (John 11:40). Do not grieve about fasting, as I said to you before: God does not require of anyone (labors) beyond strength. And what is fasting if not a punishment of the body in order to tame a healthy body and make it weak to the passions, according to the words of the Apostle: "For when I am weak, then I am strong to eat" (2 Corinthians 12:10). And illness is greater than this punishment, and is imputed instead of fasting, and even more so to the one who endures it with patience, gives thanks to God, and through patience receives the fruit of his salvation; for instead of weakening his body by fasting, it is already painful. Thank (God) that you have been freed from the trouble of fasting. Even if you eat ten times a day, do not grieve, you will not be condemned for this, for you do this not because of demonic suggestion or weakness of thought, but it happens to us for our trial and for the benefit of our souls. Your dreams about wild beasts are nothing but dreams brought by demons, who want to deceive you with them, so that you may attribute your illness to them as well. But may the Lord abolish them by the word of His mouth, through the prayers of the saints. Amen. Do not grieve: for the Lord loveth him, he chastens, but he smites every son, whom he receiveth (Heb. 12:6). I believe that for this bodily suffering God will show you His mercy as He pleases. May the Lord strengthen you and strengthen you in patience. Amen. I am sending you a little water from the vessel of our blessed father Euthymius, and a small blessing from my food, so that you may bless my food. Pray for me, O thou whom I love very much!

170. Petition of the same to another Elder.

My father! Pray for my grievous illness and tell me about the use of food. Do I not give temptation by taking it quickly and often? And about psalmody: how should I go through it, for I cannot read the psalms. Plant me, Vladyka, give me water and explain to me what the words of our holy father mean: "The Lord will work His mercy on you," did he not say this about death?

John's answer. Even if I had kept silent, having nothing to say, I would not have hidden anything good through it. Why do you seek bread from him who himself eats horns? And I tell you that, although I mean nothing, I rejoice with you in what our blessed father has written to you. Behold, he nourishes thee with the solid food of spiritual bread; Why then do you demand my watery milk, which excites disgust? Neither the Scriptures nor the Fathers forbid the body to indulge if it is done with discernment, and not out of voluptuousness. And so, as I have said to you before, when you eat and drink not out of intemperance or sensuality, it does not serve you to condemn or offend others; it was the Lord who said that (such eating of food) would not defile a man (Matt. 15:11). Do not grieve over your psalmody or service: God does not require it of you on the occasion of illness. He who heeds himself offends himself by fasting, for the sake of God and his own salvation; but you have the sorrow of sickness, instead of the sorrow of fasting. Do not worry about your illness either: the Lord does not leave you, but directs it, as He Himself knows, for your own benefit, so that sorrow that exceeds your strength may not befall you. The Elder did not tell you about death, but about the mercy that the Lord wants to show to your love. I beseech thee to be patient, as the Elder said, and verily behold the glory of God (John 11:40). As for planting: if planting and watering (1 Corinthians 3:7) mean nothing, and you have ascribed both to me, then instead of me insignificant you have God, Who grows, and covers, and does with you according to His mercy. Therefore, enjoying His goodness, be of good courage in Him and be strong, and pray for me, that the Lord may show His mercy on me also.