Answer. We ourselves do not understand what we are saying. Any admonition in which a person himself is troubled in his heart is not pleasing to God, but occurs through the action of the devil and is mixed with self-justification. If you admonished your neighbor for God's sake, then how did you yourself become troubled? God-pleasing admonition (of a brother) does not allow (the one who admonishes) to be confused; but if the one who is being admonished, having departed, slanders him, then the one who admonishes him will not be troubled, but will bear the burden of his brother. And it has now been explained to you yourselves that it was a temptation, but God has abolished it and will abolish it. May the Lord grant you health of soul and body, so that you may understand the wiles of the evil one and get rid of them. Pray for me. "As for the conversation with the brethren whom you have mentioned, I will say: when it comes out of love for God, it does not give offense, but serves for edification.

Question 187, the same to boot. Abba! My brother insults me very much, and if I could, I would gladly change him. And my thought tells me that if I were alone, I would not grieve and could be saved more comfortably. Tell me, then, is it profitable for me?

John's answer. Brother! Do not be troubled by self-justification, which says: "If I were alone, I would not grieve and could be saved more easily." In this way you contradict the Scriptures, for it says: "Many are the sorrows of the righteous" (Psalm 33:20), and again: "Many are the wounds of the sinner" (Psalm 31:10). Therefore, whether you are righteous or sinful, you must in any case endure reproaches; for we cannot do without sorrow. Tribulation teaches us patience, and the Apostle, as the most excellent teacher of this, says: "Endure sorrows" (Romans 12:12); for those who wish to be saved will face tribulations. The Lord Himself said: "In the world ye shall have sorrows" (John 16:33). It is also said: "Through many tribulations it behooves us to enter into the Kingdom of God" (Acts 14:22). Know, then, brother, that He Who said, "My soul is sorrowful unto death" (Matt. 26:38), desiring to save you, allowed you to grieve a little, so that you might receive mercy from Him for your patience, there, in that terrible hour. If we wish to have rest in all things, then we will hear at some time: "Receive your good in your belly" (cf. Luke 16:25). Our Lord endured all the sufferings for us: why do we, remembering them, not endure in order to become accomplices in them? We have been given the commandment: "In all things give thanks" (1 Thess. 5:18); beware lest the hater of good lead us into ingratitude, and then we shall lose everything. As for taking you another brother, it is not difficult for the abba to give you another; He doesn't care. But if you receive another person at your own will, and he also insults you in some way, what will you do? True, this brother is careless, but there is a certain simplicity in him. [58] I do not say this to you in order to prevent you from taking another, but I advise you to try everything and keep what is good. As another serves you for God's sake, so you must bear his burdens, so that you may mutually fulfill the law of Christ (Gal. 6:2). Do I not desire your peace? God knows that if I could, I would like to serve you all my life. But what should I do when I am no longer capable of anything? Let us hate bodily rest, lest it remove God from us, for it is an abomination to Him. I have written this to you as a unanimous brother. God has allowed us to grieve a little, because without sorrow there is no progress in the fear of God. Forgive me, sufferer, and pray for me to make a beginning. I am not far from my end.

Answer 188, the Great Elder at that. Rejoice, brother, and be calm; do not let the devil trouble you with uselessness. What does your love think: does temptation or sorrow happen to anyone without God's permission? No. God allows this for the benefit of our souls; And the devil, seeing this, even now, as he once did, showed us things differently, until he expelled us from the holy world as from paradise. What has it not changed in us? Instead of holy peace, did He not put fierce wrath into us? Instead of hating evil, which comes from God, has he not instilled in us a perverse hatred of good and of God Himself? But we do not delve into this and do not know that God, wishing to cleanse us from every evil thought, from every evil and soul-destroying thought, said that we should pray for our enemies, bless those who curse us, and commanded us to love our enemies (cf. Matt. 5:44). And if He commanded us to love our enemies, how much more so those who serve us neither carelessly nor diligently. What forgiveness will we receive if we do not love those who do good and serve us, even though the demons imagine to us that they are negligent in fulfilling their ministry? If you want to be saved and entrust your soul to God and us, then you must not believe your thoughts, for the demons sow evil seed in you and present one instead of the other. Follow our counsel and you will understand the way of God. The Lord said: "If you will and listen to Me, you will tear down the good land," and so on. (Isaiah 1:19). So, it depends on us: to demolish or not to demolish it. Why then do we blame our neighbor? Do not blame anyone for anything, but try to please your neighbor in everything. And think no evil of anyone: by this you yourself become evil; for evil thinks evil, and good thinks good. To think of others, "They are talking about me," is a curse peculiar to novices. Therefore, if two people pray in the same cell or instruct one another, the other may say something contrary about them. But if he thinks so, he is very mistaken, and by his ignorance he obviously prepares his own destruction. Do not have such suspicions; the brother thinks that for your sake he will also receive mercy. Though it brings you a little sorrow, yet through it you can gain patience; rejoice, then, and be glad, for great is the reward of patience. Thou hast already learned before, through Brother John, that it is not without the will of God that sorrow is allowed upon us, for our benefit. Do not believe the demons in anything concerning your brother; for there is nothing in reality that they show you: but the demons only want to confuse you. May the Lord abolish them! And the fact that you thought: "I have come here to become a slave of men" is not yet humility. The Apostle boasted that he was the slave of all (see 1 Corinthians 9:19), and do you say this? When will you come to this measure of humility? You don't know yourself, brother, what you said. May the Lord forgive you.

Interpretation.

Look how wise the Elder is: when he noticed that (Andrew), calling himself a slave, thought of himself that he had said much, and considered it a good deed, [59] the Elder seemed to laugh at him and call him unworthy of these words, in every possible way leading him to real humility. For humility in words is the offspring of pride, and through them disorderly gives birth to its mother, vanity, although it seems that what we have said is contrary to the truth and inconsistent with the order of things.

Answer 189, of the same Great Elder at that.

I am amazed at those who, having been in schools for many years, are again learning the alphabet and reading from the warehouses, when they should already be perfect teachers. Thus I am amazed at those who remain in monasticism for a long time, who should explain their deepest thoughts to others, but instead they themselves endure the battles peculiar to novices. You, as perfect ones, should have instructed those who err on the right path; Instead, not only do you not bear the burdens of the weak, but you yourselves burden their souls, plunging them into sorrow. Pay attention to yourself, brother. Does it do little harm to your soul now that you burden the thoughts of your neighbor? He will work hard and do something for God's sake, and then you give him the idea that he did it as he pleased. Is it fitting for a perfect man to speak thus to a weak man? Thou shalt not do this with a novice, but admonish and instruct him, fearing him who said, "Do not stumble a brother or a stumbling block" (Romans 14:13). What need is there to say to one's neighbor words that grieve him? But why do I also tell you this, when I myself do the same? "My folly did not allow me to restrain my words until I had spoken and troubled my brother's soul. When the devil instills evil thoughts in you, know that it is his business to instill one thing instead of another, and he does not allow you to remember death. Why are you troubled by insignificant things, as novice and foolish? Why do you not remember the word of the Scriptures: "Deprived of it, sorrowful, embittered" (Heb. 11:37)? Our fathers chose sorrows for themselves: are we not ashamed to seek peace in everything? Let us remember, accursed ones, and judge that all this is recorded in the highest memorial books, and in everything they will require a detailed account of us. I write this wishing to cleanse you of all rottenness; but if I insult you, forgive me, I will not insult you any more. Pray for me, that I may come to the knowledge of life. Of thy death I have spoken to thee many times, and now I say that thou shalt not tarry in the body.

190. The same to the same Great Elder. You know, my father, that I dare not oppose your command in any way; whatever you say, your words are my life; but pray for me, for my brother insults me greatly.

Answer. Rejoice, my beloved, rejoice in the Lord! I know and am confident in the Lord that if I say to you, "Stay in prison for a whole year," you will not contradict me in this either; for I know how and to whom I speak, to my fellow servant and unanimous brother. Do you not know what Job says: "Is it not a temptation for man to live on earth" (Job 7:1)? Be always ready for temptations and sorrows, forgetting what is behind, according to the words of the Apostle, and stretching out before (Phil. 3:13). See that when you speak thus of your brother, you do not get carried away into rancor. May the Lord crush Satan under your feet soon (Romans 16:20). May God's grace, peace, and love be with you to the end. Amen. And He will give you joy, gladness, and love, which falls away (1 Corinthians 13:8), so that you may endure all things from one another in the fear of God; for death will not delay.

191. The same to the same Great Elder. Tell me, my father, what humility is, and pray that the way of death will be peaceful for me.

Answer. Humility consists in considering oneself to be earth and ashes – in deed, and not only in words, and in saying: who am I? And who counts me for anything? I don't have anything to do with anyone. As for your death, I will say: Be patient with the Lord a little longer, and He will glorify your departure with great joy. Pray for me, brother. I greet you in the Lord.

192. The same to the same Great Elder. Abba! My brother strongly opposed me and showed me no compassion. What wilt thou command me to do?

Answer. Brother Andrew! I am amazed at your simplicity. Do you really think that the devil ceases to tempt anyone? Can we blame those possessed who fall to the ground and foam? In the same way, we cannot blame those whom the devil plunges into contradiction and lack of compassion, but we must blame passion. Pay more attention to what I am saying; for the devil troubles you also, and you do not look at your own sins, but keep a sharp eye on the sins of your neighbor. You have spoken of your brother's misdeeds, but you do not speak of your own. A few days ago you asked me about humility and heard that you should recognize yourself as earth and ashes and consider yourself as nothing. But the earth and ashes, and he who considers himself to be nothing, does he seek compassion from anyone, especially from a person who is troubled by the devil, the hater of good? Moreover, you are more perfect than him both in age and in the monastic image, and you have been honored with ordination; but he who is more perfect must endure the infirmities of the lesser, saying: I am unworthy. But if you say this, and do not patiently endure sorrows, then it is in vain that you speak. And who are you to look at other people's passions? "A man who has received the glad tidings of immeasurable blessings, thou shouldst have forgotten to bear thy bread when thou thinkest of them. But you have not yet tasted them and have not loved them as you should. Remember Lazarus, how long he endured, thanking God. Do not forget what I have told you many times: this is the envy of the devil, who knows what is in store for you; but I believe God that he will not have time to do anything.