Vielgorskoy A. M., March 16, 1847*

135. A. M. VIELGORSKAYA.

March 16 <New Style, 1847> Naples.

I have received a pleasant[753] letter from you, my kindest Anna Mikha<y>lovna, a letter dated February 7/19<al>* expressing your opinion[754] of my book. I needed your lines. I was beginning to think that all your house was angry with me for something, and was punishing me with silence, a punishment more grievous to me than all other punishments. But, thank God, this is not the case. You have spoken to me in a very general and very broad sense about the opinions that are being expressed in society about my book, but I would like to hear this in greater detail, characterizing the personalities of those who pronounce opinions756 I know that opinions are heard in society that are unfavorable to myself, which are offensive to people who love me and know me better than others, For example: about the ambiguity of my character, about the falsity of my rules, about my acting for some personal benefit and to please certain persons. I need to know all this, I even need to know who exactly expressed themselves about me. Do not be afraid, I will not wash dirty linen in public. All this will serve for the good of both me and those who have expressed themselves about me in any way. The book of my letters was published in order to feel both others and myself with it, to find out exactly at what level of state of mind each of our present modern society now stands, and at what level of state of mind I myself now stand, because it is difficult to see myself, and when they attack from all sides and begin to point the finger at you, then you will find much in yourself. My book has come out not so much in order to disseminate any information, as in order to obtain for myself much of the information which I need for my work, in order to make many intelligent people talk about subjects of greater importance, and to develop their knowledge which is sparsely concealed from others. Nor do you conceal from me the testimonials of a man who is close to both of us. I don't know why your dad hid from me his opinion of Dead Souls, which I learned by accident, five years after the publication of my book. If this was concealed from me in order not to grieve me, then I repeat to you again that no harsh words of a man whom I love can embarrass me or diminish my love for him, that I now crave unfavorable, harsh words, because, I tell you truly, they are a kind of wonderful balm for my soul, besides those which make me look more strictly at myself and look more intelligently at others. And all this together teaches me the wisdom that I need to acquire more in order to be able to finally speak simply and easily to everyone about those things that are not yet inaccessible. Believe me, my subsequent writings will produce as much agreement in opinions as my present book has produced disagreements, but for this it is necessary to become wiser. Do you understand this? And for this I had to publish this book without fail and listen to all the talk about it, especially the unfavorable, harsh talks, both just and unjust, offensive to the most tender heartstrings, in a word, all those talks from which an inexperienced person, ignorant of the science of life and the science of the human soul, turns his ears away. Conceal from me, therefore, no one's opinions[759] of my book, and for my sake take the trouble to learn them, and entrust others also to know them everywhere. Every man is interesting to me, and therefore his opinion is of value to me. From your friend to your servant to your maid, everyone has something to say to me. Now work for me, if you have no other work, and this will be a truly Christian feat on your part. Nor do you omit to paint me a portrait of the person to whom the words belong, if I do not know his face. I am saddened by your news that you are sick both in body and soul. But the assurance of the usefulness of all that is sent to us, the assurance of my own experience, has made me revere the will of God, which sends you this trial in order to adorn your soul with new treasures, and to make you give eternal thanks for the time of trial. I think that a physical illness is also mixed in here. These are inexplicable nervous ailments, which seem to be sent now precisely in order to soften man's nature and make things accessible to his soul, which are difficult to understand even by the highest minds. My nerves were now also shaken and upset. My nights are without sleep. My health has deteriorated so much that before my trip to Jerusalem I must strengthen my body with iron waters and sea baths. I will have to visit Ostend again, which is so dear to me in my memories. Oh, if only God would bring me to feel such joy again as three years ago, when, after my long waiting, the railway suddenly brought you and I saw everyone, all those dear to my heart. The trip from St. Petersburg to Ostend is so easy: everything is by sea, you don't even need a crew. But may God arrange everything as it pleases His will. May he protect you! Farewell. Kiss all your people and write to me.

All your G.

Write to me how you thought Apraksin*. In front of my eyes, he seemed completely unlike other young people, full of good intentions and intending not to take up the true well-being of his huge estate and the people subject to him.

Give the following letter to K<nyazya> Odoevsky*, and thank Princess O<doevskaya>* very much for her kindness.

On the reverse: St. Pétersbourg. Russie. To Her Excellency Countess Anna Mikhailovna Vielgorskaya. In St<t>Petersburg. At the Mikhailovsk<ogo> palace, on Mikhailovskaya Square. In the house of Count Vielgorsky.

Odoevsky V. F., March 16, 1847*

136. TO V. F. ODOEVSKY.

March 16 <New Style, 1847> Naples.

Before, I would have been angry with you, despite the fact that I had always loved your good soul and knew that you had never caused any trouble to anyone in your life. But I would have been angry with you for your silence at such a moment when it was most painful for me to receive "silence from my friends. I thought that on the occasion of the publication of my book, my friends would make it their indispensable duty to convey to me their feelings, to point out to me my errors, mistakes, or blunders, to bring to my attention the remarks of clever people—in short, to give me an opportunity to look back at myself and examine myself more severely. And at least some word from someone from St. Petersburg! [763] I can only guess that there are too many unfavorable interpretations about me, to which I myself have given occasion by the obscurity, the vagueness of words and expressions (which I have suffered for a long time, and the traces of which have remained too perceptible in my book), the incomplete[764] development of those truths[765] which should have been presented in a form accessible to the reader; But I don't know what exactly these interpretations are. Then I ought to know, because perhaps I have fallen into mistakes of which I do not even think >< suspect myself. For Christ's sake, give me at least the most important of them. You see a lot of smart people. And they gather with you every week. That thou shouldst convey to me the opinions of all of them, and add your own in conclusion? Do not be afraid, I will not wash the rubbish out of the house[766] and I will not be angry with anyone, even if he speaks of me as the most contemptible person. It will be a sin for you if you do not do this, for this is the work of my soul, and my soul demands condemnation for its salvation. Convey my heartfelt bow to the princess. Tell her that I am too ashamed that I dared to impose on her a troublesome matter. Afterwards I saw for myself that it was unwise, and she, a kind soul, in spite of everything, expressed a generous readiness to fulfill my request. May God reward her for this, and you, if you will also generously fulfill my present request.

All your G.