For some reason, nowadays people rarely invite friends to their homes. We prefer cafes, restaurants, clubs. We meet anywhere but at home. However, nothing can replace home warmth and comfort - there people open up more fully, and communication goes on a completely different level.

In the seventies, students were regular guests of the Chapman family. The doors of our house were not closed. Usually the guys came to us on Friday evenings. They studied at a nearby college. Sometimes, sixty people were crammed into the house. From eight to about ten in the evening, we talked, discussed passages from the Bible, talked about moral and social problems. Then there was a light snack, tea, and we just chatted. The guests dispersed to their homes after midnight.

Shelley and Derek, our children, were just toddlers in those years. They really liked to jostle among the guests. It happened that they started a conversation with one of the students with an intelligent look. Sometimes they sat quietly by the fireplace and listened. Sometimes we fell asleep on someone's lap. They made friends with many of them and always looked forward to Friday.

Students also came to us on Saturdays to do "good deeds," as they called it. We got into the wagon and drove through the surrounding streets. If any of the elderly neighbors needed help, we helped: we worked in the garden, removed leaves, did everything that was necessary. Shelley and Derek always went with us. They even had their own rake, although they liked to jump in a pile of dry leaves.

Our children have grown up and often remember those times. Shelly became a doctor. She says that she chose her future profession back then, as a child, talking to medical students. She and Derek are incredibly friendly and outgoing. It is said about Derek that in winter he invites the homeless to his place. (Who taught him this?) Our children grew up in a home where guests were always welcome, where they were taught to take care of others. We have always believed that this will greatly benefit them and help them in the future. And so it turned out.

You have to bring up in children the desire and willingness to help. Set yourself such a goal. No one but you will teach them this. Even kids need to be given small errands, they should have household chores. As children get older, so does their responsibility.

IF HELP IS THE PRIMARY WAY YOUR CHILD EXPRESSES LOVE

Even if the child does not "speak" the "language of help", he needs the care of his parents. However, if helping is a "language" that he understands, for him your concern is an expression of true love. When a child asks you to fix a bicycle or a doll, he doesn't just want the toy to be whole again, he needs your love. Now you understand what Jake was really asking his father for.

The task of parents is to hear these requests and respond to them. If we help a child and do it with joy, try with all our hearts, his soul is filled with love, as it happened with Jake. When parents refuse to fulfill a request or do it, but do it reluctantly, grumble and even scold the child, the child is not happy with the help.

If the way to your child's heart is to help, it doesn't mean that every wish is a law for you. Be very careful before complying with his request. Think about whether it will benefit him, whether you can convince him that you love him by your action. Maybe this is just a momentary whim and it is not worth indulging it? Do not follow his lead.

Children speak

Let's hear how important parental care is for these four children.