3. Hearing this, you may have been inflamed, and called blessed those who have dealt with him, as well as those who will be in communion with him on the day of the general resurrection. Let us use all means to behold His wondrous face. If now, when we only hear of this, we are so inflamed, and would like to live in the days when He also lived on earth, to hear His voice, to see His face, to come to Him, to touch Him, and to serve Him, then consider what it means to see Him, when He is no longer in a mortal body, and does not act in a human way, but is carried by angels, when we ourselves will be in an immortal body and, contemplating Him, we will enjoy other bliss that surpass every word. Therefore, I beseech you, let us do our best not to lose such glory. And there is nothing difficult in this, if only we will, nothing burdensome, if we are attentive: "If we endure, we will also reign with Him" (2 Tim. 2:12). What does it mean: "endure"? If we endure sorrows, persecutions, if we walk the narrow path. The narrow path is difficult in itself, but our determination and hope for the future make it easy. "For our slight suffering for a short time produces eternal glory in an immeasurable abundance, when we look not at the things that are seen, but at the things that are not seen: for the things that are seen are temporary, but the things that are not seen are eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:17-18). Therefore, let us lift up our eyes to heaven and let us constantly imagine and contemplate the things there. If we always keep this in mind, then the pleasures here will not be attractive to us, and the sorrows will not be burdensome. We will laugh at this and like, and nothing will be able to enslave or puff us up, if only we strive there with our desire and look at that love. And what do I say: let us not grieve in the present calamities? We will not even notice them: such is the property of love. Whom we love and who is not with us, but far from us, is exactly what we imagine every day. Great, indeed, is the power of love: it removes the soul from everything and binds it to the beloved object. If we love Christ so much, then everything here will seem to us a shadow, everything will only be a sign and a dream. Then we also will say: "Who shall separate us from the love of God, tribulation or distress?"

(Romans 8:35)? He did not say: property, wealth, beauty, since all these are extremely insignificant and contemptible, but pointed out what is done with grievous things - hunger, persecution, death. He despised this as nothing, and we are separated from our lives and removed from the world because of money. Paul prefers love for Him to death, and life, and the present, and the future, and to every creature in general; but we, as soon as we see a little gold, are immediately inflamed and trample on the laws of Christ. If it is unpleasant to hear about this, then it is all the less necessary to endure it in practice. But the trouble is that when we hear this, we are horrified, and when we do, we are not terrified, on the contrary, we swear lightly, and break oaths, and predge, and demand interest, and neglect chastity, and abandon diligent prayer, and transgress most of the commandments, and for the sake of money we pay no attention to our fellows. Yes, whoever is addicted to wealth causes a thousand evils to his neighbor, and with him to himself. He is easily irritated, reviled, calls a freak, swears, transgresses his oath, and does not even observe what the Old Testament law prescribes. Whoever loves riches will not even love his neighbor, and yet we are commanded to love our enemies for the sake of the kingdom. And if we, by fulfilling the ancient commandments, cannot reach the kingdom of heaven, "unless our righteousness" "surpasses" them (Matthew 5:20), then, transgressing them also, how will we receive justification? A person who is partial to wealth will not only not love his enemies, but will also look upon his friends as enemies.

4. What am I talking about friends? Those who are addicted to wealth often do not recognize nature itself. Such a person knows no kinship, no acquaintance, no age, no friend, but he shows hostility to everyone, and most of all to himself, not only because he destroys his soul, but also because he burdens himself with innumerable cares, labors, and sorrows. He resolves to travel, is exposed to troubles, dangers, intrigues, and the like, if only to have the root of evil and count a lot of gold. What could be more terrible than such a disease! A person who is obsessed with it renounces both luxury and all pleasures, because of which people sin so much, and deprives himself of glory and honor. He who loves wealth suspects everyone and has a multitude of accusers, envious people, slanderers and malefactors. Those who are offended by him hate him, because they have suffered evil from him; those who have not yet suffered anything take up arms against him, out of fear of suffering and out of sympathy for the victims; and finally, great and powerful people, partly out of indignation against him out of compassion for the inferior, and partly out of envy, also become his enemies and hate him. But what do I say about people? Against whom God Himself is armed, what hope remains, what consolation, what consolation? He who is addicted to wealth will never be able to use it; he shall be his servant and watchman, but not his master. Trying to always increase it, he will never want to spend it, but will exhaust himself. will be poorer than all the poor, because he will never satisfy his passion. And money does not exist in order to save it, but in order to use it. But if we begin to bury them from others, can there be anything more pitiful than we are, when we run everywhere and try to seize everything in order to lock it up in our own house and remove it from common use? There is, however, another ailment, no less than this. Some bury money in the ground, and others squander it for the belly, for luxury and drunkenness, and thus, together with the punishment for unrighteousness, they bring upon themselves the punishment for voluptuousness. Some use them for idlers and flatterers, others for games and harlots, and still others for other similar needs, and thus make for themselves innumerable paths leading to hell, and leave for themselves the straight and lawful path that leads to heaven, while this path is not only profitable, but also more pleasant than those paths. Whoever gives to harlots becomes ridiculous and shameful; he will have many quarrels, but the pleasure is brief, or rather, he will not even receive a brief one. No matter how much he gives to rejected women, they will not be grateful to him in the least: "A stranger's house is a drilled vessel" (Prov. 23:27). Moreover, this generation is shameless, and Solomon likened the love of such a woman to hell. She only calms down when she sees her lover no longer having anything. It is better to say that even then it does not calm down, but exalts itself even more, tramples on the lying man, gives him over to great ridicule, and does him so much harm that it is impossible to describe. Such is not the pleasure of those who are saved. Here no one has a rival in love, but everyone rejoices and rejoices – both those who prosper and those who look at them. Neither anger, nor sorrow, nor shame, nor reproach trouble the soul of such a person; on the contrary, there is great peace of conscience and great hope for the future, bright glory and great honor, full favor of God and security. There is not a single cliff and no danger, on the contrary, there is a shelter and silence inaccessible to the waves. Imagining all this and comparing one pleasure with another, let us choose the best for ourselves, so that we may be worthy of future blessings, according to the grace and love of humanity of our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

[1] That is, it is worn on spears (Greek "doros"). There was a custom of carrying the victorious commanders in a special way with the help of spears for glorification.

CONVERSATION 88

"And as they were supper, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon Jonah! Do you love Me more than they do? [Peter] said to Him, "Yes, Lord! You know I love You. [Jesus] saith unto him, Feed my lambs" (John 21:15)

1. Many other things can give us boldness before God, and make us glorious and honorable; but above all, we gain favor from above by caring for our neighbors. This is what Christ requires of Peter. As the disciples' meal was finished, "Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon Jonah! Do you love Me more than they do? [Peter] said to Him, "Yes, Lord! You know I love You. [Jesus] said to him, 'Feed my lambs' (vv. 15-16) Why, in addition to the other disciples, does he talk to Peter about this? Because he was chosen from among the apostles, the mouth of the disciples, the supreme one in their countenance, which is why Paul also once came to see him primarily before others. At the same time, Christ entrusts him with the care of the brethren in order to show that from now on he must have boldness, since his renunciation has been consigned to oblivion. He does not remember his renunciation and does not blame him for what has happened; but He says, If you love Me, then take care of the brethren; show now that ardent love which you have always shown and which you have been comforted by; Give your life, which you promised to lay down for me, for my sheep. Being questioned for the first and second time, Peter called as witnesses the Knower of the innermost secrets of the heart. And when he was afterwards questioned a third time, he was troubled, fearing that the same thing as before might happen again, for even then he spoke with confidence, but the consequences refuted him. Therefore, he again runs to Christ and says: "You know, that is, both the present and the future." Do you see how he has corrected himself and become more reasonable? He no longer persists in his opinion and does not contradict. That was why he was embarrassed. Perhaps I only think that I love, but in fact I do not love, as before I thought a lot about myself and spoke with confidence, but the consequences refuted me. And three times Christ asks him and three times commands him the same thing, in order to show how highly He values the care of His sheep, and that this is especially a sign of love for Him. Having told him about His love for Himself, Christ also predicts to him the martyrdom to which he will be subjected, and thereby shows that what He said to him did not speak out of distrust of him, but on the contrary, out of complete confidence in him, wishing to show an example of love for Himself and to teach us how we should love Him in the first place. Wherefore He says, "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, when thou wast young, thou didst gird thyself and went whither thou wilt; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you up, and lead you whither you will not" (v. 18). There is no doubt that Peter himself wanted and desired this, and therefore Christ announced it to him. He repeatedly said: "I will lay down my life for Thee" (John 13:37), and: "Though I should die with Thee, I will not deny Thee" (Matt. 26:35); therefore Christ arranged it according to his will. Christ speaks here of the property of nature, of the necessary law of the flesh, of the fact that the soul is reluctant to depart from the body, so that, even though the intention be firm, nature reveals itself. No one parts with the body without suffering, and this God has arranged, as I have said before, for the sake of benefit, so that there may be few violent deaths. For if even at the same time the devil succeeds in inducing suicide and leads very many to rapids and abysses, then, if such were not the love of the soul for the body, many would immediately rush to this even from the most insignificant sorrow. So the words, "whither thou wilt" signify natural love. Why does Christ, having said: "When you were young," then says: "And when you are old"? By this he shows that Peter was no longer young, as is true, but not old, but of perfect age. Why did he remind him of his former life? To show that such are His works. In the affairs of life, a young man is useful, and an old man is useless; but in My works, he says, it is not so: on the contrary, with the onset of old age, valor is more brilliant and courage more glorious, meeting no obstacles from age. And this he said not in order to frighten, but in order to inspire, because He knew his desire, knew that he had long ardently striven for this good. At the same time, Christ also points here to the image of his death. Since Peter always wanted to be in danger for Him, He says, "Be calm, I will fulfill your desire, so that what you did not suffer in your youth, you will suffer in your old age." Further, the Evangelist, stirring up the listener, added: "And he said this, giving it to be understood by what death [Peter] would glorify God" (v. 19). He did not say, "He will die," but, "He will glorify God, so that you may know that suffering for Christ is the glory and honor of the sufferer." "And having said these things, he saith unto him, Follow me." Here again Christ points to His care for him and to His great disposition towards him. And if anyone asks: why did Jacob receive the throne of Jerusalem? – then I answer that Christ made Peter a teacher not for this throne, but for the universe. "And Peter turned, and saw a disciple coming after him, whom Jesus loved, and who at supper, bowing down to His breast, said, Lord! who will betray you?" (vv. 20-21).

2. Why did He remind us of the reclining that took place at that time? Not simply and not without reason, but to show what boldness Peter had after his abdication. Previously he did not dare to ask, but entrusted it to another, and now he is even entrusted with the care of the brethren. Now he not only does not entrust to another what concerns him, but he himself asks the Teacher for another: John is silent, but he speaks. Here the Evangelist also shows love for him (Peter). Indeed, Peter loved John very much; this is evident from subsequent events, and in general in the whole Gospel and in Acts their mutual love is revealed. And so, since Christ had foretold Peter's greatness, entrusted him with the world, foretold martyrdom, and testified that his love was greater than the love of others, Peter, desiring to have him as his companion, said: "Lord! Will he not follow the same path as us? As before, not daring to ask himself, he entrusted this to John, so now, repaying him in the same way and thinking that he would like to ask about himself, but does not dare, he himself takes it upon himself to ask about him. What about Christ? "If I want him to remain until I come, what is it to you? thou shalt follow me." (v. 22) Since Peter spoke with the utmost solicitude and not wishing to be separated from John, Christ, showing that however much he loved him, his love would not be equal to the love of Christ himself, said: "If I will that he should remain, what is it to you?" Peter was always ardent and quick to such questions, and therefore Christ with these words again curbs his ardor and teaches him not to be excessively curious. "And this word went out among the brethren," that is, among the disciples, "that disciple should not die. But Jesus did not tell him that he would not die, but, If I want him to remain until I come, what have you to do?" (v. 23)? Do not think, he says, that I will arrange your fate in the same way. And he did this because now their mutual love was untimely. Since they had to take care of the universe, they should no longer be together with each other: this would be very harmful to the universe. That is why Christ says to Peter: "You have been entrusted with a task; Take care of it, do it, endure it, and strive for it. What if I want John to be here? Look after your business and take care of it.

Note here also the modesty of the evangelist. Having spoken about the opinion of the disciples, he corrects it, since they did not understand what Christ said. But "Jesus did not say," he says, "that he would not die, but, if I would that he should remain" (John 21:23). "This disciple also beareth witness of these things, and wrote these things; and we know that his testimony is true." (v. 24). Why does he alone speak in this way, while no one else does it, and at another time testifies to himself, while this is unpleasant to the hearers? What is the reason for this? It is said that he began to write (the Gospel) after all others, being moved and stirred up by God. Therefore, he constantly points to His love for himself, hinting at the reason why he decided to write. For this reason he often mentions (that his testimony is true), thereby giving credibility to his word and showing that he approached it by an impulse from above: "And we know," he says, "that his testimony is true," of which he narrates. If many are not convinced by this, then they can be convinced by the following. From what? From what is said next. "Many other things did Jesus do; but, if I were to write about this in detail, then, I think, the world itself would not be able to contain the books written. Amen" (v. 25). From this it can be seen that I wrote without partiality. If, in the presence of such a multitude, I did not even say as much as the others, but, omitting the greater part of them, exposed the wiles of the Jews, and told how they threw stones at Him, how they hated Him, insulted and reviled Him, how they even called Him a demoniac and a deceiver, it is evident that I wrote without flattery. Whoever flatters usually acts just the opposite, conceals all that is shameful, and expounds brilliant deeds. And that is why, having written with perfect certainty what he has written, he does not refuse to exhibit his own testimony, calling for the examination and investigation of each event separately. For we also have the habit, when we consider something to be undoubtedly true, not to renounce our own testimony about it. If we do this, how much more so is he, who wrote under the inspiration of the Spirit. Thus the other apostles said, preaching: "We are witnesses" of what we preach, and "And the Spirit, which God has given to them that obey him" (Acts 5:32). But if he said that so many signs were performed, do not be surprised, but think of the ineffable power of the Creator and accept with faith what is said. As it is easy for us to speak, so, or much easier, for Him to do what pleases Him. It was enough for him to desire and everything came true.

3. Let us listen carefully to what has been said, and let us not cease to read and explain. From frequent reading we will receive much benefit; through this we will be able to purify our life and destroy thorns within ourselves. Such are the sins and cares of life, fruitless and painful. As thorns, from whatever side they touch him, wound the one who touches him, so the affairs of life, from whatever side you approach them, always bring sorrow to him who binds himself with them and cares for them. But spiritual matters are not like that; on the contrary, they are like a precious stone, which, no matter how you turn it, delights the eye everywhere. For example, has anyone done almsgiving? He is not only nourished by the hope of the future, but also enjoys the blessings of this world: he fears nothing, and does everything with great boldness. Has anyone overcome the evil division? Even before the coming of the kingdom, he already receives fruit here, hearing praise and approval from everyone, and first of all from his own conscience. And so is every good deed, while evil deeds, even before hell, already torment the conscience here. If you sin, then, if you think about the future, you are struck with fear and trembling, although no one punishes you; If you think about the present, you have many enemies and live in suspicion, and you cannot even look directly at those who have offended you, or rather, at those who have not offended you. From sin we receive not so much pleasure as sorrow: here our conscience cries out, and strangers condemn, and God is angry, and hell threatens to swallow us up, and thoughts cannot calm down.

Sin is heavy, truly heavy and unbearable, heavier than any lead. Whoever is aware of it behind himself cannot look straight at all, even if he is very insensitive. Thus Ahab, although he was extremely wicked, yet, sensing sin, walked with his head bowed, and was grieved and grieved. For this reason he put sackcloth on himself, and shed fountains of tears. If we do this, if we weep like Ahaab, and lay aside our sins like Zacchaeus, then we too will receive forgiveness. As with tumors and ulcers, no matter how many medicines one applies to them, without first stopping the matter that flows in and aggravates the wound, everything is in vain, because the source of evil is not stopped, so it is with us: if we do not restrain our hands from covetousness and do not break through this unclean stream, then, even if we begin to give alms, everything will be in vain. What alms heal, it will flood, spoil, and make covetousness worse. Let us stop rapacity at first, and then we will begin to give alms. If we ourselves strive into the abyss, then where will we have the opportunity to stop? When a falling person is pulled upwards by one person (which is what alms does) and the other drags him down, nothing more will come of such a struggle than that person will be torn apart. Therefore, in order that we may not suffer this, and that alms may not leave us and forsake us while covetousness draws us to the valley, let us ease ourselves and soar to grief. Then, having been freed from evil deeds and made perfect through the exercise of good works, we will be vouchsafed eternal blessings, through the grace and love of our Lord Jesus Christ, with Whom to the Father with the Holy Spirit, glory, dominion, honor, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.