18. Blazh. Paul, with regard to Onesimus, that scoundrel, fugitive and thief – such a man, he not only himself takes into his arms when he has changed, but also asks his master to give the penitent the same honor as the teacher, thus saying: "I ask thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have borne in my bonds: he was once unfit for thee, but now he is fit for thee and me; I return it; but receive him as my heart. I wanted to keep him with me, that he might serve me in chains instead of you [for] the gospel; but without your consent I did not want to do anything, so that your good deed would not be forced, but voluntary. For perhaps he was absent for a time, that you might receive him forever, not as a servant, but above a servant, a beloved brother, especially to me, and all the more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. Therefore if thou hast fellowship with me, receive it as me" (Philemon 1:10-17). And in the Epistle to the Corinthians he also says: "When I come, my God hath not despised me among you, neither that I should mourn for many who sinned before and did not repent" (2 Corinthians 12:21); and again: "I have preceded and precede, as if I were with you a second time, and now, being absent, I write first to those who have sinned, and to all others, that when I come again, I will not spare them" (2 Corinthians 13:2). Do you see whom he mourns and whom he does not spare? Not those who have sinned, but who have repented, and not only have they not repented, but after one or two exhortations to repentance, they will not obey. The expressions: "I preceded and precede, as if I were with you for the second time, and now, being absent, I write" mean nothing else than this, which should be feared, lest it happen to us now. For although Paul is not with us, who threatened the Corinthians, yet Christ is coming, who spoke through him then, and if we do not cease to persist, He will not spare us, but will strike us with a mighty blow here and there. Therefore "let us stand before His face in confession, in the Psalms let us cry out to Him" (Psalm 94:2). "If thou hast sinned," says (the Scriptures), "add no more sins, and pray for the former ones" (Sir. 22:1). And again: "The accuser in the first speech at the trial is right with regard to himself" (Prov. 18:17). Let us not wait for the accuser, but first take his place, and in this way, by our frankness, we will make the Judge more merciful. I know well that you confess your sins and are excessively contrite; but I do not want only this, but I want to see if you want to justify yourself by deed. Until you make this confession fruitful, until then, although you condemn yourself, you cannot abandon subsequent sins. No one can do anything with diligence and in a proper way, unless he is convinced beforehand that this work will be beneficial. Thus the sower after sowing the seed, if he does not wait for the harvest, will never reap.

And repentance is harmed by stagnation in the same sins. "When one builds," says (the Scriptures), "and another destroys, what will they get for themselves except weariness? When someone washes himself from the defilement of the dead and touches him again, what is the use of his washing? So a man who fasts for his sins and goes again and does the same thing, who will hear his prayer?" (Sir. 34:23,25,26). And again: "If any man turn from righteousness to sin, the Lord will prepare him for the sword" (Sir. 26:26). And "as a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness" (Proverbs 26:11).

19. And so, declare your sin not only as condemning yourself, but also as having to be justified through repentance: then you will be able to induce the confessing soul not to fall into the same sins again. For to condemn oneself strongly and to call oneself a sinner is a common thing, so to speak, and untrue. Many of those who act on the stage, both men and women, who are the most shameless, call themselves accursed, although not for the proper purpose. Therefore I will not call it confession, because they do not declare their sins with contrition of soul, nor with bitter weeping, nor with a change of life; but some of them do this in order to gain glory from those who hear them by the frankness of their words, since sins do not seem equally grave when someone else reveals them, and when it is the sinner himself. Others, as a result of great despair, having fallen into bitterness and despising human glory, with extreme shamelessness declare to everyone their own vices, as if they were someone else's. But I wish that you do not belong to the number of them, that you approach confession not out of despair, but with good hope, and, having uprooted despair, show the opposite zeal. What is the root and mother of despair? Carelessness; or rather, it can be called not only a root, but also a nurturer and a mother. For as in wool corruption gives birth to worms, and is itself multiplied by them, so here carelessness begets despair, and itself feeds back on despair, and thus, by giving each other this accursed assistance, they do not increase in strength a little. Therefore, whoever destroys and eradicates one of these evils will be able to easily overcome the rest; he who does not give himself over to carelessness does not fall into despair; Whoever feeds on good hopes and does not despair of himself cannot fall into carelessness. Break this couple and break the yoke, that is, various and heavy thoughts; for they are not united by the same (thoughts), but by different and of every kind. What are they? It happens that another, having repented, performs many and great good deeds, and in the meantime again falls into sin, which is equivalent to these good deeds; and this is quite enough to plunge him into despair, as if what he had created had been destroyed and all his labors had been in vain. But it is necessary to delve into this and drive away the thought that if we do not have time in advance to store up good deeds in a measure equal to the sins committed after them, then nothing will keep us from a strong and complete fall. On the contrary, good deeds are like strong armor, which does not allow a sharp and destructive arrow to do its work, but, being cut by it, protects the body from great danger. Therefore, he who goes there with a multitude of both good and evil deeds will receive some relief both in punishment and in the torments there; but whoever, not having good works, brings only evil ones, it is impossible to say how much he will suffer, having been subjected to eternal punishment. There evil deeds will be compared with good ones, and if the latter are pulled in the balances, then the one who has committed them will not least serve for salvation, and the harm from the commission of evil deeds will not be so strong as to move him from his former place; but if the former prevail, they will drag him into the fire of hell; for the good works are not so numerous as to be able to withstand the strong preponderance of the evil. And this is inspired not only by our reasoning, but also by the Word of God. For the Lord Himself says: "He will reward each one according to his works" (Matthew 16:27). And not only in Gehenna, but also in the kingdom itself, there are many differences: "in My Father's house," he says, "there are many mansions" (John 14:2); and: "There is another glory of the sun, another glory of the moon" (1 Corinthians 15:41). And is it surprising that (the Apostle), having made a distinction between these (luminaries), says that there too there will be the same difference as between one star and another? Knowing all this, let us not cease to do good works, let us not give up our labors, and if we are not able to stand alongside the sun or the moon, let us not despise the place with the stars. If we at least show such a virtue, then we can also be in heaven. If we are neither gold nor precious stone, then at least we will retain the quality of silver, and we will remain on our foundation; if only we do not again come to the quality of that substance which easily burns fire, and so that, not being able to accomplish great deeds, we may not find ourselves without small ones: this is extreme madness, which may not happen to us. Just as material wealth is multiplied by the fact that lovers of it do not neglect even the slightest profits, so it is with spiritual wealth. It would be absurd in view of the fact that the Judge does not leave even a cup of cold water without reward, for us only because we do not have very great deeds, we do not care about doing small ones. On the contrary, he who does not neglect the lesser things will show great zeal for the greatest, and he who neglects the former will forsake the last; in order that this might not happen, Christ appointed great rewards for the former. What could be easier than visiting the sick? However, for this, too, He will give a great reward. Therefore, strive for eternal life, rejoice in the Lord and pray to Him; take up the good yoke again, bow down under a light burden, add to the beginning its worthy end; do not allow such wealth to perish. If you continue to provoke God to anger with your deeds, you will destroy yourself; but if before this great loss is accomplished, and the whole field is covered with water, you shut up the channels of wickedness, then you will be able to regain what you have lost, and add to it another considerable increase. Thinking about all this, shake off the dust, get up from the ground, and you will be terrible to the enemy. He threw you down, thinking that you would not rise again; and when he sees you with your hands raised against him, then, struck by the surprise, he will lose the desire to fight you again, and you yourself will be safer from receiving such a wound in the future. Truly, if the misfortunes of others are able to bring us to reason, then much more so are those that we ourselves have suffered. I hope to see this soon on your head – I hope that you, with God's help, will be even brighter, and show such virtue that you will stand there before others. Only do not despair, do not lose heart; this I will not cease to repeat to you in every conversation, wherever I see you, and through others; and if you obey this, you will not need any other healing.

IN ADDITION, THEODORE

EXHORTATION 2.

IF I could write down tears and lamentations, I would fill the letter with them and send them to you. I do not weep because you care about your father's affairs, but because you have blotted yourself out of the list of brethren, that you have trampled on the covenant with Christ. Because of this I shudder, I grieve over it, I fear and tremble, knowing that the violation of the covenant brings great condemnation upon those who enlist in the good army and through their own carelessness leave the ranks. From this it is obvious that such people are threatened with severe punishment. No one will ever accuse a commoner of not belonging to the army, and whoever once becomes a warrior, if he is caught fleeing from the ranks, is in extreme danger. The evil is not, dear Theodore, to fall while fighting, but to remain so, having fallen; it is not miserable to be wounded while fighting, but to despair after defeat and not to care for the wound. No merchant, having once been shipwrecked and having lost his cargo, does not abandon navigation, but again crosses the sea, and the waves, and the vast abysses, and regains his former wealth. And we see the wrestlers crowned after repeated falls; Likewise, the warrior who has fled many times is finally a hero and defeats his enemies. Even many of those who renounced Christ, because of the cruelty of the tortures, again entered into the struggle and departed adorned with the crown of martyrdom. But if each of them had given himself over to despair after the first blow, he would not have received subsequent blessings. So now you, dear Theodore, because the enemy has shaken you a little in your position, do not push yourself into the abyss, but stand good and hasten to return to where you came from, and do not consider this short-lived defeat a disgrace. You would not reproach a soldier when you saw him returning from war with a wound; for it is shameful to throw down arms and evade enemies; but as long as anyone remains in battle, even if he is struck down and retreats somewhat, no one will be so imprudent and inexperienced in military affairs as to accuse him for this. Not to be wounded is characteristic of those who do not fight; but it is characteristic of those who rush with great zeal against their enemies to be sometimes struck down and fall, as has now happened to you; you, striving to kill the serpent, were immediately wounded by it. you need a little vigilance, and there will be no trace of this wound; even, by the grace of God, thou shalt crush the head of even the evil one; Do not be dismayed by the fact that you stumbled so soon and at the very beginning. The evil one saw, soon saw the valor of your soul, and from many things he guessed that you would grow up to be a courageous opponent of him: having shown at the very beginning such a great and strong zeal against him, such a man, if he resisted, would easily, he thought, gain victory over him. Therefore he hastened, awoke, rose up with power against you, or rather, against his head, if you would stand bravely.

This is what saddened the evil one, this is what stirred him up to a strong struggle; However, he did not inflict a mortal wound. If he were to overthrow you after long uninterrupted fasts, prostrations to the ground and other feats, then even then you should not despair, although some would call the defeat accomplished after many efforts and labors and victories a great calamity; but since he overcame you when you were just preparing to fight him, he only succeeded in making you more zealous to fight him. You were just starting your voyage, and not returning from trade and carrying a full load, a ferocious pirate attacked. And just as he who seeks to kill a noble lion, only by scratching his skin, does not harm him in the least, but rather irritates him against himself, and makes him henceforth more cautious and difficult to grasp, so the common enemy, striving to inflict a deep wound, did not achieve this, but made (you) henceforth more vigilant and cautious.

2. Man's nature is changeable: he is easily deceived, and easily freed from deception, he quickly falls, and rises up even more quickly.

For his son, Solomon is his name, was caught in the same snare as his father, and in order to please his wives he departed from the God of his fathers. You see what an evil it is not to abstain from voluptuousness, but to pervert the natural advantage, and, being a husband, to become the slave of women. To this same Solomon, formerly righteous and wise, when he was in danger of losing the whole kingdom for sin, God, for the virtues of his father, left a sixth part of the state in possession. Thus, if you were to diligently study outward eloquence, and then began to neglect it, I would persuade you to return to these studies, reminding you of the judgment seats and the oratorical seat, of the crowns distributed there, and of the freedom of speech, but since we strive for heavenly things, and we have no talk of earthly things, I will remind you of another judgment seat and seat, terrible and terrible. "We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ" (2 Corinthians 5:10). And then He will sit as a judge, Who now despises you. What shall we say then, tell me? How shall we justify ourselves if we continue to despise Him? What are we going to say? Shall we point out concerns about business? But He said beforehand, "What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" (Matthew 16:26). Is it because we are deceived by others? But Adam was not justified by referring to his wife and saying: "The woman whom you gave me, she gave me of the tree, and she deceived me" (Gen. 3:12); as well as a serpent for a wife. Terrible, dear Theodore, this is a judgment seat, which does not need accusers, does not wait for witnesses; for "all things are naked and uncovered" before this Judge (Hebrews 4:13); and it will be necessary to give an account not only of deeds, but also of thoughts, for this Judge "judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12). But perhaps you will point out the weakness of nature and the impossibility of bearing the yoke. But what kind of excuse is this, not to have the strength to take upon oneself the good yoke, not to be able to bear the light burden? Is it difficult and difficult to rest from one's labors? And this is what the Lord calls us to when He says: "Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest; take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls; for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30). What is easier, tell me, how to be free from daily cares and affairs, fears and labors, to stand away from the waves of life and to dwell in a quiet harbor?

3. What in the world seems to you the most blessed and desirable? Of course, you will say, power, wealth, glory among people. But what is more pitiful than this, if compared with the freedom of Christians? The ruler is dependent on the fury of the people and the senseless whims of the crowd, as well as on the fear of the strongest rulers, and the care of his subordinates. Moreover, yesterday he is a ruler, and today he is a commoner, since real life is no different from the stage. As here one fulfills the role of a king, another a general, another a warrior, and at the onset of evening the king is not a king, and the ruler is not a ruler, and the general is not a general, so on that day, not according to person, but according to deeds, everyone will receive a worthy reward. But is the glory precious that vanishes like the flower of grass? The same is true of wealth, whose owners are called miserable. For "woe," says (the Lord), "to you who are rich" (Luke 6:24); and again: "woe to them that trust in their strength, and boast of the abundance of their riches" (Psalm 48:7). A Christian is never made a commoner, nor a rich man a poor man, nor a glorious man an ignominium: on the contrary, he is rich when he is poor, and high when he tries to be humble; and the power that he has - not over people, but over princes subject to the "ruler of darkness" (Ephesians 6:12), no one can take away from him. Marriage is a lawful matter, and I agree to it; For it is said: "Let the marriage of all be honorable, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers are judged by God" (Hebrews 13:4). But it is no longer possible for you to observe the law of marriage: for whoever is united with the heavenly Bridegroom, leaves Him and is united with his wife, commits adultery, even though you call it marriage a thousand times; or rather, it is worse than adultery, in so far as God is more excellent than men. Let no one deceive you with the words: God has not forbidden you to marry. I also know this: I did not forbid marriage, but forbade adultery, which you intended to do, which should not be, that is, you would ever marry. Why are you surprised if marriage is condemned as adultery, when God is rejected through it? Murder can be justified and philanthropy is condemned worse than murder, when the first was committed according to the will of God, and the second contrary to it. Namely, it was imputed to Phinehas that he pierced the prostitute wife together with the fornicator; and the holy Samuel of God, despite the fact that he wept, lamented and prayed all nights, could not deliver Saul from the condemnation that God pronounced on him because he had spared a foreign king against the will of God, who was to be killed. If love for mankind is condemned more than murder for disobeying God, then what wonder if marriage is condemned more than adultery for rejecting Christ? Therefore, as I said above, if you were a commoner, no one would accuse you of not belonging to the army, and now you are no longer your own master, having become the warrior of such a King. If the wife has no authority in her own body, but the husband, how much more can those who live in Christ have no authority in their own body. He who is despised now will judge Himself then; think about Him constantly, as well as about the river of fire. "The river of fire," says (the prophet), "went out and passed before Him" (Dan. 7:10); but whoever is given over to the fire by Him will not live to see the end of the execution. The lewd pleasures of this life are no different from shadows and dreams; for before the sinful deed is finished, pleasure disappears, and the punishment for it has no end. Sweetness is short-lived, but sorrow is eternal. What, tell me, is constant in this world? Is it wealth that often does not remain until the evening? Is it glory? But listen to what one righteous man says: "My days are faster than a messenger" (Job 9:25). As the runners, not having time to become, are already going on, so glory will not have time to come, as it is already flying away. There is nothing more precious than the soul: this is not unknown even to those who have reached the point of extreme madness. "Nothing is equal to the soul," said poetically one of the outsiders. I know that you have become much weaker to fight the evil one; I know that you are standing in the flames of pleasure; but if you say to the enemy, "We do not serve your pleasures, and we do not bow down to the root of all your evils," if you lift up your eyes to the mountain, then the Saviour will now overcome the flame and burn those who cast you into the fire, and in the midst of the furnace He will send you a cloud and dew, and "a rustling damp wind" (Dan. 3:50), so that the fire will not touch either your thoughts or your conscience; Only you do not burn yourself. Thus it often happened that fortified cities could not be destroyed by the arms and machines of foreign enemies, and the treachery of one or two of the citizens living in them easily betrayed them to their enemies. And now, if none of your inner thoughts betrays you, then even if the evil one has moved a thousand machines from without, he will move in vain.

4. By the grace of God, you have many great men who sympathize with you, stir you up, tremble for your soul: these are the holy Valerius of God, his brother Florentius, Porphyrius, wise in the wisdom of Christ, and many others. They lament daily and pray unceasingly, and they would have received what they pray for long ago, if you had wanted to free yourself even a little from the hands of the enemy. How strange it is that others have not yet despaired of your salvation, but are constantly praying for the return of their member; And you, having once fallen, do not want to get up, but lie down, just not calling out to the enemy: strike, strike, do not spare? "Do they not rise when they fall?" says the prophecy of God (Jeremiah 8:4). But you resist this and reproach it; for to the fallen to despair means nothing else than "he who has fallen shall not rise." No, I beseech thee, do not do thyself so much evil, do not plunge us into such sorrow. I do not speak of your present when you are not yet twenty years old; but if you had done much, even lived your whole life in Christ, and suffered such misfortune in extreme old age, it would not have been good to despair, but it would have been necessary to have in mind the thief who was justified on the cross, and also who began to work at the eleventh hour and received the wages of the whole day. But just as it is not good for those who have fallen at the end of life to despair, if they are prudent, so it is not safe to nourish themselves with hope and say: "Now for the time being I will enjoy the pleasures of life, and later, having labored a little longer, I will receive the reward for all the time." I remember that you yourself, when many advised you to go to museums, often said: "What if I end my life badly soon? Remember this thought, and be afraid of the thief: this is how Christ calls our departure from here, because it befalls without our knowledge.

Even if hardly anyone will look upon an earthly king, even after enduring many dangers and after the end of many wars, with boldness, then how can he see the heavenly King who has always lived and fought for another?

5. Do you want to depict household chores: about my wife, about my children, about my servants? It is bad to take a poor wife, and it is bad to take a rich one: the former harms the property, and the latter the power and freedom of the husband. It is sorrowful to have children, and even more sorrowful not to have: if the latter, then it was in vain to marry; and if the former, then you will be subjected to bitter captivity. If a child falls ill, the fear is not small; died prematurely - inconsolable crying; and at every age there are various cares, fears, and many labors for them. Is it necessary to speak of the malfunction of the servants? What kind of life is this, Theodore, to share so much with one soul, to serve so many, to live for so many, but never for oneself? We have nothing of the sort, my dear, and in this I call you to witness. Already in the short time in which you wanted to swim out of the waves (of the sea of life), you know what joy and gladness you enjoyed. No one is free except he who lives for Christ: he stands above all calamities, and if he does not want to do evil to himself, then another will never be able to do it to him. He is impregnable, not tormented by the loss of possessions; because he knows that "we have brought nothing into the world; it is evident that we can endure nothing" (1 Timothy 6:7); he is not caught by ambition or love of glory, because he knows that "our dwelling is in heaven" (Phil. 3:20); he who rebukes him does not cause him sorrow, and he who beats him does not irritate him. A Christian has one misfortune - to offend God, and the rest, such as the loss of property, the deprivation of the fatherland, the most extreme danger, he does not consider as a calamity; even the very thing that everyone fears, the passage from here to there, is more pleasant to him than life.

What could be safer and higher than to have only one concern - "how to please God" (1 Thess. 4:1)? Do you see, Theodore, the shipwrecks of those who sail on this sea? Therefore, I beseech you, flee from the abyss, flee from the waves, and take a high place from which it is impossible to be dragged away; there will be a resurrection, there will be judgment, the dreadful judgment seat awaits us after our departure from here: "We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ" (2 Corinthians 5:10). It is not in vain that they threaten hell, it is not in vain that so many blessings have been prepared. A shadow and even more insignificant than a shadow are everyday affairs, associated with many fears, with many dangers, with extreme slavery. Do not destroy both this and this age, when it is possible, if you wish, to spend both with benefit. And that those who live in Christ also benefit from this world, Paul affirms when he says, "I am sorry for you," and again, "I say this for your own benefit" (1 Corinthians 7:28, 35). Do you see that "he who cares for the things of the Lord" is even here higher than he who is married? It is impossible for one who has gone there to repent; No warrior can continue the struggle after leaving the lists and after the end of the spectacle. Think about this unceasingly, and break the sharp sword of the evil one, with which he kills many. And this sword is despair, which cuts off hope in the afflicted. This weapon of the enemy is strong, and he holds the captives only by binding them with these bonds, which, if we wish, we can soon break by the grace of God. I know that I have overstepped the measure of writing; but forgive me: I did not do this arbitrarily, but was compelled by love and sorrow, for which I forced myself to write this letter, while many withheld me. "Stop toiling in vain and sowing on the rock," many have told me. But I didn't listen to anyone.