LETTERS ABOUT HUMILITY,

SELF-REPROACH AND

ENDURANCE OF SORROWS

Letter 1

Most Venerable 1 in the Lord E. Vna!

Commendable is your intention to desire salvation and to seek guidance to this, as our holy fathers teach us, who have tempted the spiritual life in practice. You entrust this duty to me. But as laudable as your wish is, so difficult is it for me to carry it out. Not having the qualities for such a work and not seeing in myself the fruits of the spirit, what can I teach others? This very often convicts me, and, being within the bounds of my foolishness, makes me see my insignificance. The words of our Saviour: "Physician, heal thyself" (Luke 4:23), and if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the pit (Matt. 15:14) frighten me not a little. My habit of entering into superfluous conversations and judgments, perhaps often incorrect, but not understood by many, gives rise to thinking about me what I do not have, and to seek through me spiritual benefit. Even though I have to deny this, being so weak in my character, I cannot refuse even if I feel my foolishness, I enter into their position, I offer them from the word of God and from the teaching of the Holy Fathers; and when someone receives spiritual benefit, this happens by the action of the grace of God, not according to my worth, but according to their faith, which is given to them.

This I have written to you, although to show my insignificance, however, in a very small form, and the reason why some think something of me, and so that you may know that I can do nothing by myself.

Your request, verbal and written, convinces me to seek not my own, but that of my neighbor; and, forgetting my frailty, because of the weakness of my character, I dare not refuse your request; I do not trust in my own understanding, but in God, who admonishes even the dumb for the benefit of my rational creation, and redeemed by the blood of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, Who, according to your faith, through the prayers of my spiritual father, is able to enlighten the blind, to show the path, or to warn against the rapids that are found on this path; I only ask you, and add your prayers to help in this lofty and important undertaking. In the poverty of my understanding, do not seek eloquence; and if I write or say anything, not from my deeds or from my mind, but from the Scriptures and the Holy Fathers' teachings, what the Lord will give to my darkened mind for your benefit, proposing, in the words of St. John of the Ladder, "that some, having walked the path and found themselves in the mud, warn others, so that they may be afraid and not be soiled with the same mud and dirt; that through this deliverance they also may receive forgiveness of their sins" (v. 26, ch. 14).