Monica Pignotti
ODA.
Personal thanks to LRH.
Mission to New York.
Rock concert.
Rollercoaster again.
Lesson of ODP.
I am starting a new life.
Introduction
Below is an account of my life in Scientology, in a group in which I was involved from December 1970 to August 1976—about five years and nine months. From 1973 to 1975, I lived aboard the flagship Apollo (Flag), the home of L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Dianetics and Scientology. I trained as an auditor (Scientology consultant) on Flag. My life on Flag has been a continuous series of ups and downs. Today I receive a personal thank you from Hubbard and set myself up as an example of what a Flag auditor should be, and then, a month later, Hubbard takes all my certificates and sends me to the Scientology Prison for an auditing mistake I didn't even make. On Flag, as auditors, we were under constant pressure to be perfect, with the standard of perfection being the whim of L. Ron Hubbard.
Many have undoubtedly read the horrors of what happened on Flag, and I can personally attest to the fact of their authenticity. This may cause confusion as to why anyone would join such a group at all. How could such injustice be tolerated? In writing this testimony, I hope to make it easier to understand the answer to this question. The fact is that I didn't enter Scientology to be pushed around, and I don't know anyone for whom that would be a motive. The group that the eighteen-year-old idealist joined was nothing like what Scientology really turned out to be and what it still is today.
When I found Scientology, I thought I had found all the answers to life's great mysteries; I found the Truth as I thought. Little did I know at the time that I was involved in a destructive cult that uses deception in conjunction with subtle but highly effective mind control techniques.
I didn't realize how extensive this blow was until years after I left. I now realize that this group has done me a lot of harm, that I was a victim of mind control. My purpose in writing this account of my experience is to give people a sense of what it's like to be a Scientologist, what draws people to Scientology, and to show the mind control techniques used in Scientology. It's an unpretty picture, but having this knowledge is vital if you want to help a friend or loved one free themselves from the clutches of this extremely destructive cult.
As painful as my experience was, I am now finally happy that I am free again and can make my own decisions in my life. However, some people were not so lucky. Quentin Hubbard, L. Ron Hubbard's son and a close friend of mine, committed suicide at the age of 22 because he saw no way out of the trap he was in. Born in Scientology, he could not imagine life outside the cult, but he could not stand life in it. He is dead and no one will undo the harm done to him, but it is not too late for others. If this work will help someone get a loved one out of Scientology, then maybe my years in this cult have not been in vain.
How I was involved
I have always been a very inquisitive person when it comes to matters of life and human nature. As a teenager, I kept detailed diaries of my experiences, my thoughts about them, and my understanding of life. Well aware of the serious problems that exist in the world, I wanted to improve it somehow. Many of my friends took drugs to escape the pressures of circumstance, but I didn't join them. I was a person with a very strong will and did not succumb to the influence of the team. According to my mother, I was a "free soul."
I was very interested in ideas that differed from the accepted norm. I felt that the world needed innovative concepts and solutions, and I hoped to someday make a tangible contribution to solving common problems. I read everything I could find on the subject of human nature and how we could use our full potential. I strongly believed that in order to change the world, we had to change ourselves, and so I was very interested when I heard about a book called Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health.