The question about the spiritual father is one of the most frequently asked in the Church. Only it is formulated very differently. Some believe that our time is so miserable that there are no priests experienced enough to serve as spiritual mentors. Others, on the contrary, believe that it is impossible to be saved without a spiritual father. Still others are interested in a purely practical question: how to find a spiritual father? In our opinion, the topic of the clergy is the most important in modern church life, requiring discussion in its various aspects. But it seems better to start a conversation on this topic from the very first question: why do we need a spiritual father at all? By answering it, it will be easier to answer other questions. Alexander Leonidovich Dvorkin, theologian, leading specialist in sect studies, professor at St. Tikhon's Moscow Orthodox University for the Humanities: - A spiritual father is a priest to whom we regularly go to confession, who is well aware of our spiritual problems and our life circumstances. Accordingly, for our confessional practice and for a serious Christian life, it is better, of course, to go to a priest who already knows our problems and can advise us on how to solve them. But at the same time, of course, the presence of a spiritual father is not a condition for salvation. It happens that a person does not have a permanent spiritual father for some reason, but nevertheless this does not mean that without a spiritual father this person will not be able to be saved or will disappear altogether. Simply having a spiritual father is a great help to a person who strives to lead a serious spiritual life, and without a spiritual father all this can be much more difficult. But in general, at all stages of my life, I had wonderful spiritual fathers who provided me with the necessary spiritual help, especially considering the work I am doing. It is such a special blessing from God that I have always had good spiritual fathers, so it is difficult to imagine how I would have coped without them. Although there were situations when, for example, I lived in Germany, and my spiritual father lived in America, so it turned out like this: I went to confession with a priest in the church I attended, but on all important issues - they did not arise so often, but once every couple of months - I just called my spiritual father and consulted with him. And the help of a spiritual father is a prayer that protects, advice on important issues that he gives me. Priest Alexei Timakov, cleric of the Moscow Church of the Holy Venerable Zosima and Savvaty Solovetsky in Golyanovo, regular contributor to the Alpha and Omega magazine: - We plunge into spiritual life like blind kittens, and, of course, we need a guide, a person who has experience in the search for God. The most important quality of a spiritual father is his ability and ability to pray, to intercede for another, to ask God for you. Any priest who confesses a person precedes the rite of repentance with a prayer. In this way, God's presence at confession is affirmed, and His active participation in it, and the powerlessness of man in such a serious spiritual work. Regardless of his moral or intellectual qualities, the priest will sometimes say such things that the questioner is surprised: "How much has been revealed by this!" On his inner level, the priest himself could not say this, but prayer makes it possible to transmit from God what a particular person needs to hear. A spiritual father, a priest, if I may say so, is obliged by the duty of his service to pray, to read the rules, whether for better or for worse he succeeds, but he does it all the same, prepares for the Liturgy, commemorates those who asked to pray for them, takes out a particle for them at the proskomedia, and this is the most important thing that he can give to a person. Yes, of course, the priest sins, and "chops wood," and makes mistakes, but all the same he has boldness before God for people, and if a person takes the wrong path, then the Lord, through the prayers of the spiritual father, can straighten out and correct what the person himself does not have the strength to do. Is it possible to do without a spiritual father? - And how can a blind man do without a guide? If a person does not have a spiritual father, it means that he himself has to interpret the Holy Scriptures. Probably, it is possible to do this with the help of some literature, but a living word, a living example is completely different. And spiritual experience is not necessarily gained in confession: it can also be in a simple conversation. Let's recall, for example, Paisios of the Holy Mountain, who simply talked to his loved ones, and the words went from soul to soul and were firmly remembered. Sometimes spiritual experience is absorbed not even through words, but according to the image, according to the spirit. There are different ways to educate: "Do as I say!" or "Do as I do!" A true spiritual father educates by example. Of course, not every priest can be a confessor. This is evidenced by the young eldership, which is now very flourishing in our country: as soon as a priest is ordained, he is already overgrown with "spiritual children." It can be difficult to find a spiritual father, but has a person tried to pray about it? Let him try, let him search: he will come to one for confession, to another, to talk. And then a spiritual connection arises, and the person feels that he has been born again. It is not for nothing that a mentor is called a spiritual father. But more often than not, a person finds his pastor in the church where the Lord brought him for the first time. If we talk about the help that we receive from our spiritual father, it is first of all his prayers, as I said above, and, of course, good advice. Priest Sergiy Maslennikov, cleric of the Moscow metochion of the Holy Trinity Lavra of St. Sergius: - Without a spiritual father, it is very difficult to seek the path of salvation. Without it, life in the Church is practically impossible – any person who lives the life of the Church, from a simple parishioner to Vladyka, will tell you this. That is why they come to the elders-spiritual fathers, consult and ask questions. And they unquestioningly do what he tells them, even if it is difficult. The confessor teaches the cutting off of one's own will. Therefore, the nourishment of a spiritual father is, first of all, a life of obedience. The enemy is afraid of the fulfillment of the counsels of the confessor. Of course, even without a spiritual father, it is possible to follow the path of salvation and be saved, but then the path from point A to point B will not be straightforward. It is good if you happen to live not far from the Lavra or some monastery: there are spiritual fathers there and you can choose a pastor according to your heart. And in a remote small town, not everyone can find a spiritual father with a capital letter, and the people who live there do not have to talk about a "high" spiritual life. But then the Lord asks less of man. God corrects the lack of pastoral help either by giving a person his own spiritual experience or by sorrows. But there has never been a moment in my life when I was without a spiritual father. Yes, they have changed, but they have always been there, so it is difficult for me personally to say how my life would have turned out without my spiritual father. Usually, the evil one tries to "build" his "city" in the soul of a person and confuse his paths, surrounding the heart with a wall of conventions. And a person often succumbs to these temptations. And the spiritual father, by the grace of God, for the obedience of his child to him, has the power to tear down these "impassable walls." To do this, it is necessary, without concealing anything, to tell the spiritual father about the temptations that have befallen him, and then he will show the way out, and through his prayers all the enemy "formations" will be destroyed, and, having been freed, the person will be able to move further along his spiritual path. Olesya Nikolaeva, poet, teacher at the Moscow Literary Institute:

We begin to be guided by a very subtle sense of self-love or self-indulgence, and we think that we are acting honestly and correctly, according to the will of God, but in fact we may turn out to be just a toy in the hands of the evil one, who, of course, is more cunning than we are and knows much better all the secret psychological moves of his "client."

Of course, I think that life under the guidance of a spiritual father is more pleasing to God and spiritually safer. Personally, I can say with confidence that it is difficult to do without a spiritual father. Very difficult. Of course, there are circumstances when he is not around or he is not available for communication, but then you are looking for some person, wise and mature, to whom you could confide your life decisions and actions, perhaps a more spiritual person or even just an older person. In general, one of the Holy Fathers wrote that if a person wants to know the will of God, then he will know it even from a baby.

In the Gospel, Christ says: "Take note of what you hear" (Mark 4:24). If we really noticed this, we could learn all that is necessary for our salvation. Fortunately, we live in an Orthodox country, we have so many churches, we have wonderful priests with a variety of spiritual gifts – there are the kindest prostitutes, there are psychological intellectuals, there are prayerful ascetic monks, austere or, on the contrary, very merciful – and everyone can find a spiritual father according to his inclination and disposition. And if we talk about the appointment of a spiritual father, I believe that it is to help a person to hear his calling, to reveal God's plan for himself, to help him find the spiritual meaning of what is happening to him, that is, to lead him to Christ. Vladimir Legoida, editor-in-chief of the Moscow magazine "Foma": - In any business, you need a mentor, a teacher, so it is always easier when there is a leader in the spiritual life: then you will be able to avoid a lot of mistakes. More precisely, the point is not even about not making mistakes at all – you can't do without them – but about the fact that if there is a spiritual father, then he, as it were, goes through these mistakes together with the person, and this is very important. The role of the spiritual father can be compared to the role of the father in the family. It is the same in the spiritual life. Is it possible to do without a confessor? I think it is possible in principle, because in the matter of our salvation we cannot do without Christ alone. Another thing is whether it is necessary to do without? In general, in the matter of finding a spiritual father, as well as in the matter of relationships with him, it is very important, in my opinion, to avoid two extremes. On the one hand, there is a kind of conceit: "I can decide everything myself." I believe that such a self is, of course, is wrong, since it can lead far away, so if there is a priest to whom a person can turn as a spiritual father, then it is better to turn to him. At the other extreme is the desire to find a person to whom everything can be shifted. When: "Father, bless me to eat, bless me to go for a walk in the woods, bless, bless, bless..." And this is not a joke: I personally know such an attitude towards the confessor. When people, having read several works on asceticism and learned about the monastic practice of daily confession of thoughts to their spiritual father, strive at all costs to find a spiritual father, and having found one, they believe that now they can call him every day, ask many insignificant questions, and force him to solve everyday problems of their family. In fact, it is impossible for a modern secular person to deeply understand what it means to live in complete obedience to a spiritual father. It seems to me that these are two extremes, and, by the way, the second extreme can become a dangerous tendency on the part of the confessor himself; This is what is called "young eldership": when a spiritual father believes that he must and has every right to guide the will of his spiritual child at every second of his life and in all matters, including domestic and other matters. To pass between the Scylla of young age and the Charybdis of liberal "all-permissiveness" is the art of any life, including the spiritual one, and it is not regulated by any universal rules. But, of course, it is easier for those who are supporters of the existence of authorities, "beacons" to look up to. And I consider this to be the norm of life. For example, I had this experience of finding a spiritual father. I came to confession, and although it was not my first confession, it was, let's say, an initial experience, so the attitude towards it was still specific, I would say, pre-neophyte. The priest asked me a question about a sin that I was not going to confess, believing that it was something very personal, that it was impossible to talk about it. He asked me this question, and I just cried in response - I lowered my head and cried. And suddenly I heard him crying over me. And then I realized that I had a spiritual father. Answering the question of how I get help from my spiritual father, I can say that the most important thing for me is what I once heard from a wonderful priest: it is very important for a pastor to be able to inspire. And my spiritual father is a person who, of course, inspires and helps a lot in situations of that "petrified insensibility" in which you periodically find yourself. It inspires because it always shows the way to Christ. At the same time, it is not by obscuring Christ, but by showing Christ by his life and his prayers. This is a true and very powerful help in the most difficult moments, when a person falls into the seeming meaninglessness of the surrounding life. And, finally, it seems to me that the main thing in this matter was very accurately expressed by the Holy Confessor Roman (Medved): "The task of the pastor is to educate the soul in such a way that it can stand before the Lord and choose the good quite freely and consciously..." Irina Shalotina, neonatologist of the highest category, member of the Saratov Diocesan Society of Orthodox Doctors: - Happy is the one who, by the mercy of God, has found a spiritual father! Because no matter how sociable and communicative a person is, he is alone in his spiritual life. To open one's soul in order to cleanse it from sin is possible only for a spiritual father. By regularly receiving our confessions, he gets to know us much better than close relatives and friends. That is why his instruction is the most correct. When I make a decision, I am tormented by doubts for a long time. But as soon as you take a blessing from a spiritual mentor, the problem is resolved favorably, although sometimes in unexpected ways. After all, it is the Lord Himself, through the hand of the priest, who blesses our deeds, if they are pleasing to Him. And what a source of wisdom and virtue are spiritual conversations! You strive for them from the hustle and bustle of everyday life in order to gain firmness and confidence that everything is transitory, except Love. Children nourished by a spiritual father become a parish community, in which it is easier to endure all adversities. In the difficult moments of my life, I always feel the prayerful help of a spiritual father who leads us, his children, to salvation. Mikhail Mchedlishvili, Moscow icon painter, member of the Creative Union of Artists of Russia: - I think that a spiritual father is needed so that a person does not wander in the dark in search of the right life decisions. A spiritual director, having come to know a person, can guide him spiritually in a calmer and shorter way, so that he finds God and love for people in his heart, so that he goes through life with a minimum of worldly losses. A spiritual father is especially necessary in our unstable times, when so little depends on us, when a person is constantly hesitating, doubting how to act correctly. And if a child has trust in his spiritual father, a reverent attitude and a desire to fulfill his blessings, then his life is significantly simplified, he rejects many unnecessary things, and mainly doubts. From the lives of the saints we know that there were ascetics, for example, St. Mary of Egypt, who attained holiness even without spiritual guidance. But these are, of course, exceptional cases, and it is very difficult for me personally to talk about it, because I myself could not do without a spiritual mentor. I think that in general it is unlikely that a modern person can do without a spiritual father, but the great difficulty is how to find one. I can say that I had several spiritual fathers before I found my current spiritual director. What is the difference between living with and without a spiritual father? And I see this from some of my acquaintances, how hard it is for them without a spiritual father, they get so many bumps into themselves. But there is another aspect: if the confessor is far away. I live in Moscow, and my spiritual father lives in Tbilisi. I think some people are mistaken in thinking that one should visit one's spiritual father often, address him with every question, and be in his sight all the time. And it seems to me that if a person listens attentively to the words of the spiritual father, addressed to him or even to someone else, then he has a very large amount of factual material, and he has a dialogue with the spiritual father all the time, all the time he carries the image of the priest in his heart, and the communication is not interrupted, despite the distance. And the help of a spiritual father lies, of course, first of all, in his prayer. And I feel it almost on a physical level. That is, all these states of recession, of course, still exist, but nevertheless, if a priest serves a liturgy or a moleben, I always have a little hope, a certainty, that maybe he will remember me. This is already joy and strengthening of the spirit. And then there is a great joy in the fact that he is in my life and that of my loved ones: my wife, son, daughter, and grandchildren also communicate with him. He knows our life situation, he knows our entire history, and we are spiritually attached to him. I am sure that a true spiritual father desires more for his child than a child desires for himself. Marina Shmeleva, an employee of the Holy Trinity Cathedral in Saratov: - When a person goes to confession with different priests, he has to solve many issues of spiritual life on his own. It turns out that, on the one hand, he seems to be holding a council with the priest, and on the other hand, he is his own head and his own leader. At the same time, the spiritual father helps to correlate the inner experience of the believer with the patristic tradition, with the voice of the Church. In consultation with him, the Christian no longer lives according to his own mind, humbles himself before the will of others, learns to listen and hear. He can see his own actions, thoughts, and feelings as if through the eyes of another person. On the one hand, the spiritual father's view is objective: after all, he is not related to us by kinship or friendliness. On the other hand, this is not the view of an outsider who does not care about your fate, but of a person who feels sorry for you. Probably, my Kazakh friend had all this in mind when she said: "How happy you Christians are that you can go to confession, talk, and ask for advice!" Also, a spiritual father is needed in order to share with his child the experience of spiritual life, so that a believer can see an example of contemporary life in Christ. After all, there are many situations in life when it is not enough to read a smart book. At such a moment, advice and a living word of participation are invaluable. And, of course, a spiritual father is needed for support and consolation. In our time, a person who strives to live according to God's commandments is perceived by others as strange, outdated, or even not quite healthy. Relatives and friends sometimes not only push a Christian to sin, but also show that this is the norm of human relations. In such a situation, it is vital to see that you are not alone on the path to Christ, that there are at least two of you.

Archbishop Ioann of Yoshkar-Ola and Mari. Under the Wings of a Bird

A spiritual father or elder is a person who knows how the Lord Himself, your inner world, governs you, and leads you to salvation. St. Theophan the Recluse and St. Ignatius Brianchaninov said that it was difficult to find a spiritual father in their time, but in our days, according to St. Ignatius, we are guided mainly by the books of the Holy Fathers. But every Christian tianin must have a spiritual guide. The 20th century is a century of atheism, a century that seemingly destroyed both the spiritual pleiad and the priestly succession. In fact, in these incredibly difficult conditions, the Lord gave the Church elders-comforters. Having gone through prisons, deprivations, persecutions, external and internal tortures, they loved the Lord so much that they saw the image of God in every person. The more sinful a person became, the more lovingly they greeted him and gave him the opportunity to taste the sweetness of life in God through their life example. Nowadays the elders are strict, and the "young elders" are generally cruel, but then they showed the whole world first of all what Divine all-embracing love is. From childhood I was brought up in the Pskov-Pechera Monastery, which was never closed, even in the fierce godless years. And there, at that time, the continuity of the clergy was preserved – in the true sense, when the elder, according to the word of the Lord, knows his children, and the children know him. In the years of Khrushchev's persecutions, when, after a small post-war thaw, the closure of churches began again, the Pskov-Pechersk Monastery became a refuge for the spirit-bearing fathers. Schema-Archimandrite Pimen (Gavrilenko) came here from the Caucasus Mountains, who suffered a lot and went through prisons. My spiritual father, Schema-Abbot Savva (Ostapenko), was also exiled here and transferred from the Trinity-Sergius Lavra. For the first time I came to Pechory as a seven-year-old boy, on a pilgrimage trip. That's when this impressive meeting took place. Father Savva walked after the service surrounded by a crowd, quickly answered questions, shouting from all sides: "Father, pray. And he stopped in front of us. He comes up and says, "Bless me." We were scared - how is it, and what to answer. And he added, "You'll come to see me after dinner." We were invited to a fraternal luncheon, then we went to his cell, then we went to the monastery "hill", and there was the first spiritual conversation, even then very childish. My first questions were mundane, one might say, naïve, but at that time they were relevant to me, it was necessary to solve them somehow. He received a blessing to stay for the whole summer instead of ten days, to attend the Dormition. At that time we lived in the attic, at Mother Alexandra's, where we slept in rows, from fifty to a hundred children alone, with mice and rats. And there was nothing sweeter for us than holy water and monastery bread. And from that time on, for many years, that is, up to and including the tenth grade, I came to the monastery for all the holidays. What did my confessor give me? - And what I have. He knew that my path was to bear the cross in the rank of bishop, and I realized this later. We were little, but he didn't treat us at all, playing with us like children. Although at the same time he behaved like a child-loving father with children. He loved us so fatherly... Something was often brought to him from Moscow: someone would bring pineapple, another oranges, tangerines. At that time, it was only in Moscow. And so he gathers us and distributes us. But when he gave him this orange, he immediately made people pray for the person who had brought them, and make bows for him. And he always said that now you get it - remember. Life will come, as much as you have received, you will have to give a hundred times more. It was as if he was pointing to our future path. In adolescence there were sins that remained hidden and forgotten. Children are children, sometimes we do something. And then confession goes on, and suddenly the elder begins to give examples. - But some people think: this is a small sin. For the little ones, this is a great sin. And so he denounces, then you come up and let us repent of him. And you think: no one knew about it. It would seem, well, what could be there at that time - some little prank. But our spiritual father taught us to repent not just "in deed, word, or thought," but to make manifest everything that is hidden in our souls. And so that we feel what we are approaching and how we are approaching, and not just run up to "confess". And after confession there was lightness and the realization of what "finally fell off." And this child's fear of the confessor, of the priest, always remains. At the same time, he opened our hearts, and we spoke freely and did not feel any weight. He taught us to work seriously. We were amazed at how much we worked physically at that time. We began in the morning with the Midnight Office, then a fraternal moleben, and at eight o'clock breakfast. After that, we work all day, in the summer until ten o'clock in the evening, then after dinner we go to the evening monastic rule. At twelve o'clock we went to bed, at five we got up. What Is Five Hours Of Sleep – For Kids? And the Lord arranged it in such a way that grace gave strength and strength. How we longed, standing at the door in the morning, to receive a blessing... And after that, there were no questions. I received a blessing and with it came such peace in my soul, a kind of warmth, as if you were running on wings, fulfilling obediences. At first I was engaged in flowers, then I was sent to the barnyard, then to the carpenter, locksmith, blacksmith, then to work as a tinsmith, to take care of the monastery garden. The foundations of much of my external knowledge were acquired there, in the monastery, in my childhood and adolescence. I didn't know what a spiritual father was, what a spiritual father was, I never asked him these questions and didn't think about how to solve these questions. We are always trying to be "molded" into something, according to our education. But the conversations that took place in his cell later, when I grew older, were neither pompous nor theological. It was a conversation between father and son. Perplexities were resolved, first of all, concerning ordinary monastic life, behavior, and the temptations that arose every day. This generation, which has already left us, had one thing - Christ in their hearts. And Christ, through their mouths, through their works, through their hands, did that which at the present time has given many, many the ability and opportunity to establish themselves in their spiritual life. The Pskov-Pechersk monastery allowed many students of theological educational institutions to pass through it, who later became bishops, priests, and monks. And they, to a greater or lesser extent, learned from these living examples how a person should act in various situations of life. And what is spiritual life in general, not in outward appearance, not in some external splendor and beauty, not in any external firmness, determination and rigidity, but in the true spiritual sense – that God is Love, and he who abides in God abides in Love. And it is no coincidence that when the elders were persecuted, oppressed, and forbidden to receive their spiritual children, people, in spite of everything, came in droves and came to them – from Sakhalin, from the Far East, and from many other places. Each of the spiritual fathers filled one or another niche in the instruction of Orthodox Christians. Odin, through his theological knowledge, through his knowledge of the inner spiritual life, nourished the intelligentsia - doctors, teachers, scientists. Another, with his love and simplicity, attracted the commoners, and the third consoled the reserved, despondent, and sad people. The fourth, with his prayer and the gift of tears that he possessed, conquered those hardened people who saw in the monks and in the monastery some kind of external seclusion, some kind of strictness, perhaps cruelty, and certain rules, and could not perceive it. And each person who came to this monastery found for himself what was necessary for his spiritual life and what was necessary in order to rise from the external godless persecution and realize that the Lord is near us. To talk about the sacramental, about what is close to confession, is probably not yet the time. We consciously began to solve problems at the age of 16-17, when I began to understand that they had to be solved seriously. It was only after I entered the monastery that I experienced what invisible spiritual warfare is, how great it is, and how the enemy rises up against young novices. It was no longer exhaustion from physical labor, as in childhood, that the Lord allowed us to eat, but temptations from the flesh, from the world, and from the devil. When you're just a pilgrim, boy, when you're just working, it's one life. And it's quite another when you've chosen to live with Christ and in Christ. Then this invisible strife strikes at the very core, all the innermost passions are revealed, especially pride and despondency, that it crushes the person incredibly, crushes him. And with this you come to the elder. You spend the whole day preparing, thinking about how to open it, but everything is resolved in two or three minutes. He doesn't even listen, he just gives an answer as to how to conquer this passion, why it happens, and where to look for the root cause of sin. Amazingly, no matter what struck us, our hearts did not remain angry until the sun went down. The Lord prepared us, not only me, but others as well, for priestly and episcopal service, so that we would experience through our lives what sorrow is, what persecution is, what decision is. Schema-abbot Savva was very ill in the last months of his life. He needed to be outdoors all the time. And every day I carried a folding bed "on the hill". And there the steward drove us away, Archimandrite Irenaeus, fulfilling someone's will so that the elder would not appear there. And once I was faint-hearted, I didn't carry it. After a while, he came running - they had already taken away the cot. And my spiritual father turned to me with the words: "An egg is expensive for Easter day. "Have you," he says, "felt how hard it is not to fulfill obedience? You don't realize it, but you still realize it. And then for a whole week I walked around with this stone. He couldn't even come near me, so he came up to me on his own. He asked, "Did you suffer?" And now let's go to confession. And after that, I really realized how difficult it is not to have obedience, complete devotion to your spiritual father, and how many temptations there will be from outside, and what faithfulness to the path you choose means. For the first time, I knew how hard it was to be alone when he reposed in God. I was still a student at the time, studying at the seminary. Before that, my soul did not know what unresolved questions are. As if under the wings of a bird, he was warm, in the twilight, covered with prayer. And here I found myself, as it were, alone with external student knowledge, and it contains many problems that cannot be solved through books. They can only be answered by a spirit-bearing, clear and pure mind, which is not infected by this external world and does not live according to its laws. I came to the funeral service and felt how much I had lost. But this feeling did not enslave me. When I began to enter the caves, I saw that the Lord is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living (Mark 12:27). And just as everything was solved then - imperceptibly and simply - so everything is solved to this day. What I experienced in my communication with my spiritual father is not yet fully understood. Some of the edges began to become clearer after his death. Living in the monastery, we suspected what the persecution of the elders was really like, both from the outside and from the inside. We saw them returning from some places and then not being able to leave their cells for a whole month. When these fathers were no longer alive, our medical assistant, Hegumen Theodorit, told how they came to him with broken fingers, with what they still had to endure. In their lives, they have never told anyone about it. Both party secretaries and KGB officers came to the monastery secretly - those who were their external persecutors. And the elders received them at night, when no one was looking. They talked lovingly with everyone, even with notorious villains. And people were transformed in the monastery, becoming childlike renewed in their souls. Through all this, for the first time, I came to know what priestly service is, what true spiritual service is, when a spiritual father bears sorrows and illnesses from everything, from all his spiritual children, and not just knows me, according to the word of the Lord. Priesthood is the bearing of the cross. This is the feat, the path that the Lord has traveled. Recorded by Elena Sapaeva

Nun Natalia (Aksamentova). Not power, but care and delicacy

I was once asked to advise a young man which of his spiritual fathers he should turn to - something was wrong, contradictory in his soul. Those who asked me knew me, were confidential, and, of course, counted on the fact that our "tastes" would coincide here, that I would be able to introduce them to a priest who would fully satisfy their son's human and spiritual search. At first, I responded inwardly: I really wanted to help. And at some point, I even remembered a Moscow priest who seemed to meet the needs of people of this kind - highly educated, intellectual, himself from a cultured and creative environment.

* * * Nowadays many people are looking for spiritual guidance based on their own understanding of what it should be. Many rush exclusively in search of "clairvoyant elders," "blessed," and simply eminent spiritual fathers. And this can be understood when people find themselves in extremely difficult, almost insoluble situations and believe that help should come from someone who, in their opinion, is the brightest example of God's chosenness. However, despair sometimes pushes them into the "friendly" embrace of old men and old impostors, blind leaders, self-proclaimed seers. Others, if they do not seek the "great" ones, are hungry for adequate human communication, for attentive benevolent eyes, for a heartfelt, non-superficial response to their everyday hardships, thereby reducing the Sacrament to the level of everyday life, depriving it of its proper spiritual content. But the Encounter must take place, the Sacrament of Consonance must be performed. The sacrament is genuine, uncontrived, conditioned by the sheer need for God's intervention. Behind this, indisputably, we become witnesses of the Divine Response. * * * Apparently, everything begins with a deep inner dissatisfaction: with ourselves, with life - this moves us to seek Divine intervention, help from above. In a sense, if you will, this is the first spiritual guidance. Something similar happened to me when I was 13-14 years old. The dissatisfaction was bitter and dead-end. It was then that I had my first contact with the sacred, the unworldly: I found (somewhere on the library shelves) the life of St. Cyril of Belozersky. Remember the place where the monk sits by the stove, looks at the flaming logs and turns to himself: "Look, Kirill, so you will burn..." I thought then: "This is real life - to have such a thought!" And she burst into tears. From happiness. I realized that there is a completely different, full-fledged life, and it depends on the quality of thoughts in your head. It was somehow understood by the skin, the sense of smell, the heart. I wasn't even baptized at the time, but the experience was my first religious experience. And this was God's gestural interference in human life, which we all, in fact, only tea, but not always recognize. Often we force things, while other situations require long years of waiting. It was even a blessing in my fate that I did not grow up in a religious family, and nothing was imposed on me by my relatives, because I belong to the category of people who organically do not accept any forcible intrusion into the personal spiritual plane, which is what often happens now among believers. Six years later (after my "acquaintance" with the monk) I was already in a monastery, several thousand kilometers away from home, and two years later (neither earlier nor later) God was pleased to grant me a spiritual father. * * * … The manner in which Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) received the pilgrims, and what an example of clergy he displayed, requires, of course, a separate narrative. In due time, people – clergy, laity, and monastics – who were nourished by him, I think, will speak about this more than once and write warm words of gratitude. The influx of visitors to him during the period when he was still able to receive us in Peredelkino, was a daily occurrence. People came from afar, both for the sake of confession and for good advice.

In fact, this short phrase, in addition to pointing to the basic principles of spiritual guidance, by no means as a dominant lever of influence on people's destinies, also characterizes Father Kirill himself as a strikingly modest, humble man. He always felt (or so it seemed to me) a certain awkwardness when he was openly proclaimed an elder or when he was expected to make fateful radical decisions. Hence the invariable general confessions, as well as the desire not to stand out, not to be more than an ordinary priest, who can knit and decide to be a priest, that is, to be ordinary. This, by the way, cannot be said of many of the young spiritual fathers and newly-minted "elders" and "elders" mentioned above, who, having neither experience nor elementary modesty, dare to rudely intrude into human life, crushing and breaking everything in their path and expecting exceptional signs of respect for their person. "What can I do? - Father Kirill often said, - I can only listen to a person. I'm of no use anymore." Accordingly, his spiritual fatherhood was delicate and careful in relation to another soul. His advice flowed so naturally and organically from the questioner's own narrative that one got the impression that the very situation of life led to such a solution. Many, I know, were upset and perplexed: why doesn't the priest say anything "like that," doesn't prophesy anything, doesn't prescribe heavy, impressive penances? Over the past 10-15 years that I have had the good fortune to observe this humble spiritual father, both in public and in solitary hours, I have never heard from him a single disparaging word addressed to anyone, just as I have never heard a patronizing and possessive one: "My children," "I bless!" Father Kirill was, and remains, first of all, a good, conscientious monk with a low self-esteem characteristic of every such monk - a guardian who watches over a monk for prosperity. I deliberately do not allow myself pompous epithets, knowing how much the priest would not like them. And now, when he is bedridden and practically unable to support us with words, I again and again come to the conviction that the strength of a spiritual father, who serves God and people in "reverence and truth," is not in words at all. This is the high measure when it is enough to look at a person. And either everything will become clear to us without words, or we will endlessly ask and ask again. * * * There is one extremely negative tendency among us who seek to build our lives and our relationship with God, so to speak, "by blessing." It is an unwillingness (perhaps unconscious) or inability to take responsibility for one's own actions. Responsibility to one's conscience. Hence, I think, all the "traps" that guarantee us "stagnation." Then we shamelessly shift the responsibility for our ignorance onto the shoulders of our spiritual father. Then we senselessly substitute the precious baggage of personal religious experience with "alien contents," calling such substitutions obedience or devotion. But, apparently, this is a separate topic that requires special consideration.

FAQ

Vladyka, bless! I would like to ask your prayers and ask the following question: how do you understand spiritual nourishment in the modern world, in the modern Church? How often is it permissible to see the priest? Which issues of spiritual life really require resolution and advice, and on which can one not bother the priest? What should a young girl do if she regularly goes to confession with a young priest and feels both her own embarrassment and his embarrassment, and at the same time understands that it is impossible to remain without spiritual nourishment, and on this occasion she often falls into despondency? Bishop Longin of Saratov and Volsk answers: The essence of spiritual nourishment is the same at all times. The very word "nourishment" is related to the word "helmsman." A spiritual father helps a person to solve vital issues. Figuratively, one can imagine that just as a helmsman steers his ship amidst reefs, shoals, and other dangers, so the confessor helps the Christian to avoid those mistakes, falls, and spiritual failures that lie in wait for all those who have embarked on this path. In this sense, modernity does not add anything fundamentally new to the understanding of spiritual nourishment. How often should one resort to the advice of a spiritual father? This is determined, on the one hand, by the necessity of this council, and on the other hand, by the possibilities of the priest. And the fundamental questions of spiritual life, primarily those related to prayer, fasting, and the way of life of a Christian, require help in resolving them: for example, how to observe certain church rules, to what extent it is possible to make an indulgence if a person is sick. Issues that can change the direction of a person's life are also discussed with the priest (for example, if he is applying for a job or study, it is important to find out whether his aspirations contradict Christianity). Thus, people come to the confessor with questions, the solution of which leaves an imprint on the rest of one's life. There are people who try to transfer into their lives the dispensation that they read about in books about ancient elders and ascetics. They try to implement monastic rules in parish life, for example, to engage in the revelation of thoughts. But it must be remembered that many things that are necessary in a monastery are, firstly, impossible to fulfill, and secondly, simply harmful. St. John Climacus has very good words about the fact that it is not useful for a novice to consider thoughts, because it leads him to a wrong state: a person can get confused in those subtle movements of the soul, to which it is sometimes better not to pay any attention at all. Living in the world, we cannot devote all our time to spiritual life, so attempts to subtly discern thoughts most often lead to reflection and self-reflection. Do not bother the priest with questions of a domestic nature. In addition, it often happens that a person, constantly turning to a priest for any reason, simply loses the skill of making independent decisions - this is wrong. And your last question: what should a young girl do?... Run away from this priest without looking back! No matter how good, holy, pure, and exalted her feeling may seem to her, if she is embarrassed, and if she also feels the embarrassment of the priest, flee from him if she does not want to fall into the fiery hell. We are all weak people. No disadvantages of lack of nourishment will outweigh the harm that can occur if this feeling is allowed to develop, so not even a glimpse of it should be allowed. It is no coincidence that church canons presuppose a certain age for a priest (over 30 years old). Today, we make exceptions out of necessity and ordain younger people, acting according to the proverb that "for the sake of need and the law, there is a change." And according to the ancient rule, which is still in force in Greece, the country that has most fully preserved church traditions, not every priest, even an ordained priest, has the right to receive confession: only a person who has reached the age of 45-50, when many passions naturally wither, and when the spiritual father, as a rule, already has a fairly large life and priestly experience. Vladyka, during Lent temptations overwhelm a person more than ever. He can get help and support from his spiritual father. However, as a rule, during Lent, a large number of parishioners strive to confess, which is certainly joyful, but significantly reduces the possibility of full communication with the clergy. What principles should a parishioner be guided by when choosing his spiritual father for confession and spiritual conversations? At what time is it preferable for a spiritual child to communicate with his spiritual father so as not to burden him additionally? Is there any experience in your practice when a joint conversation with the priest of the wife and husband, on issues of marital fidelity, served to preserve the marriage? Bishop Longin of Saratov and Volsk answers: There is only one principle: a person should choose for himself a priest who is able to bring him spiritual benefit. A relationship of understanding and trust must be established. This cannot be achieved artificially: the priest is required to understand the person who comes, to pay attention to him; On the part of the person himself, it is necessary to trust his spiritual father. What is the best time to communicate? The answer to this question can be given by the confessor himself, depending on his circumstances. There are no external rules that could regulate this. Naturally, it is possible to go to confession and talk with a priest with great convenience not on Sundays or holidays, but on a weekday, when there is no large influx of parishioners and the priest is not limited by any time frames. A joint conversation between a confessor and a husband and wife is generally very desirable. And not only on the issues of marital fidelity, but also on all the issues that arise in the joint life of the spouses. This is a very effective means not only to preserve the marriage, but also to resolve the contradictions that bring discord into family life. Your Grace, Answer, please, is it worth looking for a spiritual father in our time? After all, both one's own mistakes and someone else's inexperience can greatly damage the soul and break a person's life. The Holy Fathers advise us to be guided by books, but I and many of my acquaintances miss the opportunity to consult and ask for prayers when things are bad. Church-going people often have many priests they know, but in fact there is no one to turn to. You may have experienced this yourself. Advise me on what to do. Bishop Longin of Saratov and Volsk answers: Spiritual life, more than anything else, needs teaching, personal continuity, and the direct transmission of spiritual experience. It is not without reason that the Holy Apostles are called "self-seers of the Word" in church hymns, that is, the fact that they saw the Lord with their own eyes is emphasized. Having a spiritual mentor allows a person to learn from him not only the word about God, but also the experience of living life in God. You are right when you say that nowadays it is not so easy to find such a person. Therefore, it is still necessary to remember that it is really possible and necessary to be guided by books. Attentive and thoughtful reading of spiritual literature can give a person a lot. Especially edifying are such books as the "Spiritual Teachings" of the Monk Abba Dorotheos, the "Homilies" of the Athonite Elder Paisios, the letters of Saints Theophan the Recluse and Ignatius (Brianchaninov). At the same time, it is not necessary to read many books by different authors. Even one book by Abba Dorotheus, if we try to be guided by what is written in it, will suffice for a very long time. At the same time, there is one important rule: do not trust yourself, do not invent your "theology". A lot of people died on this: after reading a couple of books, they decided that they already knew everything. Be sure to live a Christian, church life, understand and love the divine services, regularly confess and take communion. In your prayers to God, ask Him, among other things, that He send you a person who can be of spiritual benefit to you. I think that the Lord will fulfill your request, since your words that "in fact there is no one to turn to" are not entirely fair. There is no need to look for "clairvoyants" and "elders." You need a kind, sincere shepherd, and thank God there are such people. I have committed a grave sin that I want to confess. But I am ashamed to confess it to the priest to whom I usually confess, because he knows me. I won't hide it: I'm also afraid that he will be more strict with me. Moreover, the term of penance that he imposed on me for another sin has not expired. If I go to confession in another church, is that normal? Or will it be deceitful on my part and an attempt to avoid real repentance? Hegumen Nektarios (Morozov), rector of the Bishop's Church of the Icon of the Mother of God "Soothe My Sorrows" in Saratov, answers: You are absolutely right: this would indeed be cunning and an attempt to avoid real repentance, as well as a very big mistake caused by a faint-hearted, completely wrong fear. The shame we have to experience in confession is salutary. The memory of having to repent of the same sin again often deters one from it, or at least in this way, by repeatedly confessing one's stumbling to the same confessor, one begins to acquire humility, which is pleasing to God more than all other virtues. During confession, a person's heart must be "opened" to the action of grace, so that it truly purifies and transforms him. And that cunning, that attempt to "hide" something, to conceal it from the priest to whom you usually go to confession, will prevent such a disclosure, you will be left with a painful feeling of something incomplete, a feeling of incompleteness. It is possible to change your spiritual father when you see that communication with him does not bring any spiritual benefit. But only when it really is. And because of human fear, it's not worth it. Now it has become fashionable to go to churches and "choose" a priest. Some say it's a sin, but you can't open your soul to everyone. Or is it better not to think about it at all when you go to church? Hegumen Nektarios (Morozov), rector of the Bishop's Church of the Icon of the Mother of God "Soothe My Sorrows" in Saratov, answers: When a person comes to church, he comes first of all to God, and not to anyone else. As for the priest... Of course, it is not chosen according to "one's taste", but at the same time, each person has his own mental makeup, needs understanding and participation. And naturally, sooner or later, he finds a priest who can answer his questions, help him on the path of his ecclesiastical and spiritual life, who becomes his spiritual father. But such a "choice" should be guided not just by human sympathies, but by spiritual benefit. I am pregnant, I feel an urgent need for confession, but there are always some obstacles. The last time I went to confession was three years ago, after which I did not feel any relief; On the contrary, my heart became even heavier, although it seemed that I had not hidden anything. There was a feeling of formality of everything that was happening, uselessness to anyone, and disbelief that anyone was interested in your revelations at all. What should I do, where can I find a spiritual father who will listen to me, give advice... Or does it only happen in the movies? Hegumen Nektarios (Morozov), rector of the Bishop's Church of the Icon of the Mother of God "Soothe My Sorrows" in Saratov, answers: It is very good that you feel an urgent need for repentance, that you are not satisfied with yourself, which means that your soul is alive, although it is not saturated with the spiritual food it needs. However, unfortunately, many things in Christianity and in the Church are not yet clear to you, which is why you have to make your way through a dense forest. In his daily life, a modern person (even if he is a believer, but not truly churched), unfortunately, is very far from God. He is removed by the fact that he does not live according to the Gospel commandments, rarely approaches the Sacraments in which Divine grace is given to us, simply forgets about God and acts and acts as if He does not exist. And, of course, when he wants to "suddenly" approach Him from this distance from God, it is not at all easy, and all sorts of obstacles arise. Is it the fault of the Church or the people who "work" in it? Unlikely. If a person comes to confession once every few years, and moreover, on a feast day or Sunday, when there are many people in church and almost everyone is preparing for Communion, then, of course, he will most likely not be able to confess properly, in detail, talk to a priest, or ask questions. And if he goes to church regularly, goes to confession regularly, and not only on Sundays, then there will be no ever-growing bundle of sins, and the opportunity for a fuller communication with the priest will present itself. "Where to get a confessor..." Don't you think that even the very wording of the question contains a huge incorrectness? What does it mean to take? After all, there is no "fair of spiritual fathers" where you can come and choose the one who is more suitable. If you are expecting a child, you are married. How did you get married to your husband? Probably, it took some time to get to know each other, then you met, got to know each other and gradually realized that this is a person with whom you will live your whole life and be happy. This or something like that. In a similar way, relations develop with a priest, who later becomes a person's spiritual father: first, a person confesses to one, to another priest... Then he sees that the advice and answers of some of them bring the greatest benefit, resolve perplexities, and the soul is disposed to accept and trust them. A person feels that the priest treats him responsibly, attentively, and he himself is ready to show the necessary obedience in return. Understand that church life cannot be understood, not known "from the outside." It must be lived, but not occasionally, but constantly. Then it will be yours and you will understand that the Church is not an "institution" but the Body of Christ, and we expect "something special" in it not from people, but from God. Only in order for this special thing to manifest itself in our destiny, something is needed from ourselves. Namely, faith and life in accordance with it. For more than a year now, I have been going to church every Saturday and Sunday and going to confession every week; I understand that this is very important. But there was a sense of insecurity about myself and what I was doing (I mean life outside the Church, i.e., work, school, family, friends, and business). Before I start doing something, I start thinking about whether it is good for the soul and what the consequences will be; that I should ask my father for a blessing. And I began to notice that I dreamed a lot, but it didn't come to fruition. But I don't dare to ask, because the priest can't decide for me how to live. On the other hand, it is impossible for a confessor to tell literally everything about himself (and not only his sins and, possibly, some thoughts). Is there a boundary, a sign of when I act on my own and when I go for a blessing? Hegumen Nektarios (Morozov), rector of the Bishop's Church of the Icon of the Mother of God "Soothe My Sorrows" in Saratov, answers: You are right, frequent confession is very useful for the correct spiritual life of a person. Not only useful, but also decidedly necessary. Frequent examination of conscience, uncompromising "judgment" of oneself, compulsion to see and correct one's shortcomings, repentant falling before God in the consciousness of one's unworthiness and uselessness for the Kingdom of Heaven are powerful engines on the path of moral change of man. It is quite true that before you do anything, you think about whether it is good for the soul, whether it is pleasing to God. This rule, in fact, should be obligatory for any believer. But your bewilderment is understandable. The fact is that the enemy seeks to harm a person in a variety of ways. First of all, he tries to draw the Christian to a life of inattention, distraction, in which sins are not only conveniently committed, but often remain unnoticed by the sinner himself. If the enemy fails to do this, he often uses a different course of action. For example, he tempts a person with "pettiness": he draws his attention to a multitude of minor details, not exactly unimportant, but by no means those that should be dealt with in the first place. And from the abundance of questions that arise in his mind, the believer is simply lost, like a traveler who finds himself without a map and a compass in a dense forest. And if he begins to address all these questions to the priest, then no good comes of it either: the priest simply finds himself involved in the same temptation as the one who came to him, and he has to either plunge into many trifles with him, thus losing precious time, or send him away empty-handed. There is a very true principle formulated by St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov) in one of his letters, in which he answers a question about confession. The saint says that in the work of repentance one should begin with major sins, and then move on to smaller ones. Otherwise, one may "bury" oneself in the insignificant by the enemy's actions, and never reach the point of seeing and confessing serious sins. He gives the example of a cluttered room, saying that when cleaning, it is necessary to first take out large garbage from it, and only then sweep out small litter and dust. So it is with the soul. It seems to me that such an attitude is appropriate in your case as well. If a person in those situations where the will of God expressed in the Gospel is absolutely clear (and such situations are the majority), acts in accordance with this will, then the Lord gradually makes him wise and "refines" his spiritual vision, helping him to more sensitively distinguish good from evil. On the other hand, if a Christian neglects direct reproofs of conscience in obvious cases, then his soul will always be in turmoil: why enlighten one who does not use what he knows? If only to greater condemnation... But in general, I think you should talk about all this with the priest to whom you regularly go to confession. He knows you and could better understand what is going on in your soul. I have a spiritual father. I often sinned against him by judging and even discussing his actions with others. Several times I repented of this, but again I fell into condemnation. And so, I sinned again, but the priest hardly knows about it. Now I am deeply remorseful. My spiritual father has begun to speak to me rarely, I grieve a lot, I don't know if it is possible to return to his former attitude towards me. Will God be able to forgive me again and give me everything back? Hegumen Nektarios (Morozov), rector of the Bishop's Church of the Icon of the Mother of God "Soothe My Sorrows" in Saratov, answers: After the condemnation of a spiritual father, even a "just" one, there is always a heaviness on the soul, a feeling of guilt and one's own wrongness. Therefore, try never to do it again, knowing that discussing it with anyone in this way will never be beneficial. The only thing that seems to be justified is to understand that the relationship has really reached an impasse, and the confessor himself cannot bring them out of this crisis state, since mutual understanding has been lost, to explain the situation to someone in whom you have spiritual trust, or better yet, to a priest. Explain and ask for advice. And do not try at all costs to "return to the former attitude" of the spiritual father towards you. That's not the main thing. Human relationships, unfortunately, are a fragile thing. Sometimes, it would seem, everything has already been fixed, what should have been fixed, but the relationship is not restored. The most important thing is a sincere repentance before God and a determination to correct oneself in order to be faithful – first of all, of course, to God, not to man. A spiritual father is someone who helps on the path to God, on the path to salvation, helps to learn to live "one thing that is required." And as long as this desire to help with a spiritual father and to learn from a person is present, good relations will certainly be preserved, since unity in the most important things will be preserved. As a rule, this unity is destroyed when the striving for salvation is replaced by the striving for "human relations," when the spiritual father begins to be perceived simply as a close, dear person. This, unfortunately, is not an uncommon mistake of people who come to church today. It's best not to do it. And if it is allowed, try to correct it. I began to have obsessive thoughts about my spiritual father. It appeared in my life not so long ago (only six months). But there are visible shifts, before that I had been "stalling" in place for two years. His advice is very valuable to me, when I come to confession or to a conversation with him, I look first of all for the way to Christ. But I began to notice that there was a kind of spiritual attachment to the spiritual father, which was based on emotions. In addition, sometimes there is jealousy of other parishioners. At the same time, I am soberly aware of myself that this is absolute nonsense and I do not care to whom he devoted how much time he devoted and what he said to whom. What is the nature of these thoughts? Is it just a temptation? Is it enough just to confess these thoughts, or is it necessary to change the parish that is so dear to me? Hegumen Nektarios (Morozov), rector of the Bishop's Church of the Icon of the Mother of God "Soothe My Sorrows" in Saratov, answers: The enemy, unfortunately, in no way limits himself in the ways by which he wages his struggle against the human soul. Nothing that is good or truly useful to us spiritually is pleasing to him. It is known that he especially tries to destroy the relationship that develops between a believer and his spiritual father. Sometimes it instills thoughts that condemn him, gives him a "special vision" (as if under a magnifying glass) of his shortcomings. Sometimes it arouses an unbearable desire to "live in one's own way" without being bound by the advice and instructions of a spiritual father. And sometimes, as in your case, he tries to plant and strengthen in the soul an addiction to it. Therefore, understanding that what you are experiencing is an enemy action, do not rush to make a decision. As far as can be understood, you yourself have a sober assessment of your own experiences and understand their nature. If you truly trust your spiritual father, tell him about your temptation in confession and consult with him on what to do. However, if over time you see that, in spite of everything, the temptation cannot be overcome, that it wins and captures you, then it will be better to leave, because instead of benefit, there will be only harm. But it's also better to do it with advice. In general, such an infirmity must be fought, as with any other. It is necessary to be honest with oneself and at the same time to be strict with oneself, not to listen to the voice of one's passions and in no case to justify them. And at the same time to reveal his fault to God, asking Him to heal it as soon as He can. On the Orthodox forum, I am sometimes answered: "Orthodox priests do not have a common position on this issue, consult with your spiritual father." But my confessor died a few years ago. Several priests serve in the same church, who probably have different positions. What to do in this case? Hegumen Nektarios (Morozov), rector of the Bishop's Church of the Icon of the Mother of God "Soothe My Sorrows" in Saratov, answers: The loss of a spiritual father is always a difficult ordeal for a believer. But life goes on, and it really raises new questions for us, on the correct answer to which a lot depends. And it would probably be wrong to try to resolve them exclusively through discussion in various Orthodox forums. In any case, you should try to choose one church for yourself and, if possible, one priest with whom you would constantly go to confession. And he, knowing you, your life, what is going on in your soul, could answer your questions not "abstractly", but to you personally, seeing a very concrete person in front of him. To whom do priests confess and do they do it before each liturgy they serve, or not? Hegumen Nektarios (Morozov), rector of the Bishop's Church of the Icon of the Mother of God "Soothe My Sorrows" in Saratov, answers: A priest, like any other Orthodox Christian, can confess to another priest, his spiritual father, or simply a brother and concelebrant. Since the entire life of a clergyman is spent in the celebration of the Liturgy, there is no such firm rule for him as for the laity regarding the obligatory confession before Communion of Christ's Holy Mysteries. It is up to the priest to determine the frequency with which he should approach the Sacrament of Confession, and everyone's inner need for this is very different. For example, we can say that the spiritual father of the brethren of the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov), as a rule, confessed before almost every Liturgy that he had to serve. Likewise, the well-known elder of Glin, Schema-Archimandrite Andronik (Lukash), said that pastors who call others to repentance need to repent more often, otherwise they will teach people what they themselves do not do. Is it possible to confess on the Internet on an Orthodox website? Priest Mikhail Vorobyov, rector of the Church of the Exaltation of the Precious Life-Giving Cross of the Lord in Volsk, answers: The sacrament of confession is synergistic in nature. It is the result of the combined action of two forces: divine grace and human will. Forgiveness of sins is impossible without a deep, sincere condemnation of one's sinful actions, wrong feelings and desires. The Russian word "repentance" reveals the depth of such self-condemnation, because repentance is the identification of oneself with Cain, the first murderer, the first, and therefore the most guilty criminal. In Greek, the sacrament of penance is denoted by the word metanoia, which means a change of mind, will, and the whole human being. A repentant sinner wants to be freed from his sin. He wants to literally become a different person, he wants to detach himself from his past, to throw it away from himself, to treat his past as someone else's. Confession is not just a list of sins committed, but, first of all, a prayer for the bestowal of spiritual strength to fight temptations that find a response in the heart. One of the most dangerous manifestations of sinfulness is conscious or unconscious self-justification. Confession is not useful if a person, consciously or subconsciously, justifies his sin by some circumstances, blames other people, feels sorry for himself, wants to look better in the eyes of the priest than he really is. That is why the sacrament of confession is performed only in the dialogue between the sinner and the priest. The sincerity of repentance is confirmed by the willingness to tell everything about oneself, to fully open one's heart. In this case, the joint prayer of the penitent and the confessor is very important. That is why confession in absentia via the Internet or by mail, or in some other "remote" way is impossible. Even if a person wishes to repent in the face of impending death, and there is no priest nearby, another person must be a witness to his repentance. Answers to questions from visitors to the portal "Orthodoxy and Modernity" (www.eparhia-saratov.ru).^