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Preface

Is it possible to be a believing Orthodox person in the modern world? How can we learn to live as a Christian? Where to start your path to God and the Church? A person who has seriously thought about the meaning of his life inevitably has many questions, and he seeks answers to them not only in church, but also in books, in periodicals, and even on the Internet. It seems that this is not entirely true: it is impossible to learn the spiritual life "at a distance" or to conduct it theoretically, without participating in the divine services and sacraments of the Church. But it is quite possible to give such a person the right direction, to help him understand what is most important in church life, what is worth paying special attention to in church and in the world around him. It is no less important to try to answer those questions that necessarily arise in the mind of a person of the Church as he "grows up." These are the tasks set by the editorial board of the journal "Orthodoxy and Modernity" and the Internet portal of the same name. Questions about why a spiritual father is needed, how to find one, to what extent to obey, what difficulties arise in the relationship with a spiritual father are among the most important and fundamental in spiritual life. It can even be said that a novice Christian needs a course in "spiritual security techniques" in order to learn the ability to distinguish true pastors from false elders, of whom there are many today (even such a concept as "young eldership" has arisen). By their fruits ye shall know them (Matt. 7:16), said the Lord. The "fruits" of irresponsible or misunderstood "spiritual leadership" are, unfortunately, sad: broken destinies, broken families, loss of faith... And, on the contrary, many mistakes are avoided by those who are fortunate enough to meet a prudent spiritual father: he is able to teach his flock how to live in Christ, because he himself lives in accordance with the will of God. We hope that in our collection you will find answers to the most common questions about the problems of the clergy. But if there is something else that worries you in connection with this topic and that the authors of the collection have not touched upon, ask: we are waiting for you in the sections "Question to the Bishop" and "Question to the Priest" of the portal "Orthodoxy and Modernity" (www.eparhia-saratov.ru).

Archimandrite Alexy (Polikarpov). First of all, one must be a son or daughter of the Church

A spiritual father and a spiritual child - sometimes these relationships are very difficult. What role does spiritual guidance play in the life of every Christian, and can every priest become a spiritual father? What is the measure of a spiritual child's trust in his mentor and the measure of a pastor's responsibility to his flock? Are there any rules of spiritual nourishment that can be followed to avoid "pitfalls" in the relationship between a spiritual father and his child? And is it possible to do without a mentor on the difficult path to salvation at all? These and other questions are answered by the well-known spiritual father, abbot of the St. Danilov Stavropegic Monastery in Moscow, Archimandrite Alexy (Polikarpov). - Fr. Alexis, what would be the definition of the term "confessor"? What is its significance in the spiritual life of a Christian? - Usually, a confessor is a priest who advises and instructs a Christian on the path of salvation. He can simply perform the Sacrament of Confession: a person has confessed, the Lord has manifested His grace – his sins have been forgiven – and they have parted ways and may never meet each other again. But it may also be that the priest confesses it not once, but regularly and throughout his life, or is even a spiritual director... - And what is the difference between the role of a spiritual father, a spiritual director, and the role of a spiritual father? - Both are "fathers". But a spiritual leader is a priest who guides a person through life, leads through his good guidance. And it is accomplished first of all through the spiritual obedience of this person to his pastor. In this case, he is already a spiritual leader, a spiritual father. The idea is often expressed, as good advice, that every Christian must have his own spiritual father, must be guided by someone. But this is a very delicate issue, and it must be approached very carefully. For example, it is not uncommon for inexperienced priests to lead people to salvation, when instead of good fruit an evil one is born – grave mistakes that can seriously harm the souls of the flock. On the other hand, one can encounter people who, with a certain vanity, proudly say that "we have such and such a spiritual father with such and such a name, and we are his spiritual children." It may sound nice, but will they be able to derive spiritual benefit from this communication, so exalted by communication with an experienced mentor? After all, the essence is not in the big names of mentors, but in the very life and actions of those being mentored. I remember the words of Father Andronik, the Schema-Archimandrite of Glinsk, who completed his earthly journey in Tbilisi. He said, "Whoever obeys me is my child." The Holy Fathers say that when you ask a spiritual father a question and receive an answer, you must certainly fulfill what he says, to fulfill the given blessing. But we are not always ready for this, because we do not always seek God's will, we are not always ready to have obedience. Sometimes a person "just" asks. It may be driven by curiosity, or vanity, or something else, but in such cases, of course, it is impossible to say that a person has spiritual nourishment. - Is obedience a prerequisite for spiritual nourishment, or is there no nourishment without obedience? - The principle of spiritual life is as follows: if both the questioner and the one who answers are ready for nourishment, then yes, obedience is an indispensable condition for spiritual nourishment. But we know about such spiritual activity, about such "lofty matters," mainly from books about ancient asceticism: we read a lot, especially now, when, thank God, a large amount of spiritual literature has appeared. And, having read it, sometimes we try to imitate the ascetics, but it does not always turn out skillfully. But in some cases, you don't need to do this. For example, the relationship between the confessor and the child. In modern times, a priest cannot take upon himself the leadership of a person to the same extent as it was, for example, in ancient monasteries, when a disciple lived with an elder and every word, every movement was coordinated, every thought was confessed. And if we try to apply it in our lives, it sometimes turns out to be clumsy, awkward, and not always useful. And what is practically possible for us is that the confessor gives some general advice - for edification and not even always, perhaps, for fulfillment; he can offer them in the form of recommendations, and the child compares these counsels with his own life circumstances, and, applying his own spiritual experience and, as the Holy Fathers teach, without fail harmonizing everything he hears (and his entire spiritual life in general) with the Gospel, he sees to what extent this advice is feasible for him. And one more note: it is very important that both the pastor and the flock be guided by love and sincere good disposition towards each other. The letters of Father John (Krestyankin) are very interesting in this respect. Now, thanks to the published correspondence, he is revealed even more to all of us - to those who knew him personally, and to those who only heard about him, and even to those who only after his death became acquainted with him through books and began to use his advice and instructions. And here is what should be noted: his letters are of a very sober character, there is no enthusiasm in them, but, on the contrary, a very sensible attitude towards everything. If, for example, a young man (a boy or a girl) wants to become a monk and live in a monastery, then Father John, while approving his aspiration, nevertheless says that it must be sound and balanced. In addition, he adds that it is necessary to take into account how his parents feel about such an intention. It is this aspect that we sometimes miss: how does the family react to such a turn in life? Such surprises especially often happen to people who have recently converted to the faith and believe that they are following Christ, and moreover, in the worst case, they look upon their household as enemies: "And a man's enemies are his own household" (Matt. 10:36), and at best they believe that it is not necessary to listen to their opinion. - Should the opinion of parents be taken into account, even if they are non-believers or non-church people who are unable to understand the spiritual impulse of their offspring? - Yes, we must listen to them, we must not "step over them" and by doing so we will help them, maybe not immediately, but after some time to make this bold and extraordinary decision for them. If we are Christians, then through us the name of God should be glorified, not blasphemed. Therefore, it is impossible for parents to become victims on the spiritual path of their children. This, of course, would be completely wrong. After all, as a rule, they are people who have lived through years of atheism, who most often eventually come to Christ, to the Church, and see that the choice that their children made was justified, although, unfortunately, sometimes it is different. And returning to the topic, I will say that the relationship with the spiritual father should also be built on a sober basis. If I am ready to accept what the priest tells me, if I am ready to follow his advice, then God bless. Then God will be in our midst. And if I ask for a blessing for my rash actions or for jealousy that is not reasonable, and then say that "I was blessed this way and for some reason it suddenly didn't work out," then to whom in this case do I have any complaints: to myself, to my spiritual father, to God? Probably, to myself... - What should I get a blessing for? Some people think it is right to ask the priests about their every action, while others very rarely come with even some serious life questions. - In principle, I repeat, if it were possible to live in the likeness of ancient monasteries, then it would be possible to take a blessing for everything. For a glass of water, to make an extra bow... - Is such a degree of obedience possible for someone in our time? - I don't think so. It's almost impossible. Of course, there remains the paternal expression: "If there is a novice, there will be an elder," but still the conditions of life in our country are completely different. First, are there any elders who could take upon themselves such leadership? When Fr Kirill[1] was asked if there were any elders now, the priest joked that "there are old people, but there are no elders." Second, are we willing to do everything we are told to do without question? After all, what often happens is that some people try to follow exactly what they read in books about obedience, while others simply dismiss everything: "This is not for us, because it is impossible in our time." Both the first and the second are delusions. - Is a spiritual father responsible for his spiritual child? - He is responsible for his blessings. There are various cases, for example, when someone dares to give a blessing to a person to leave the family or to "unfold" his household affairs in such a way that they are built at an unforeseen "angle" and lead to unexpected, dramatic consequences. But here, of course, a person must try to assess his own position: whether he will be able to fulfill it, whether he needs to do it, whether it will be for the benefit and salvation of himself and his loved ones. In this connection, I would like to note that there is a lot of talk about young elders, when young, completely inexperienced priests take on the task of leading people; But they are probably still driven by genuine jealousy. Maybe they make some mistakes, but of course they want all those people who come to them to be saved. O Lord, bless and make wise all in the work of salvation... - On the question of young eldership, not so much about young eldership as about the mistakes of young pastors: what are they, for example, in pastoral care? - Sometimes they bless what is impossible for a person to lift, give a burden that he cannot bear. For example, a heavy penance that is unenforceable. But penance is only a reminder of sins, it is a kind of pious exercise: when a person fulfills it, he always brings to mind his sins and brings repentance for them. Penance is not a punishment. And, of course, it should be given in accordance with the spiritual level of development. If a person has crossed the threshold of the church for the first time, has come to confession for the first time, then it is hardly worth giving him penance - a lot of prostrations or many canons, when, at best, he has just learned to make the sign of the cross, and it is good if he knows a few prayers, or maybe even not. In general, according to the spiritual level of a person, it is necessary to give such a pious exercise that would move him forward, would not stop him, would not lead him to despondency, but would help him to take the path of repentance, the path of Christian life. One of the most dangerous mistakes of spiritual fathers is that they sometimes lead to themselves and not to Christ... - If the relationship between the confessor and the child has already developed, then what "pitfalls" can there be in this case? - There may be grievances. People can be offended that they are not given enough attention, especially women: Tanya was paid attention to, but Manya was not, there may be some kind of jealousy, unreasonable jealousy, because sometimes we do not condescend to each other... - And what basis can this jealousy have for itself? -Foundation? Infirmity. And above all, our own infirmity. Even if, for example, I am offended, and, as it seems to me, unjustly (we are offended by what? - by what seems unfair to us, and therefore the cause of offense is our passions and self-love), we must always realize and remember that we are going to Christ, and not to man. We come to God and offer our repentance to Him. We come to our spiritual father, open our soul to him, and he, having prayed, makes a decision that the Lord announces to him, and communicates it to us. If we accept what he said as God's will, we must do it. But it also happens that we consider his words unfair, and this is where resentment and claims to the priest personally are born. Of course, this must be confessed immediately. In such cases, people ask, "What if I change my spiritual father?" But then you have to figure out why I'm doing it. Even if I go to another priest and continue to be offended and reproach someone and not myself, will it be of any use? Of course not. In the face of such a temptation, it is best to pray and reveal to your spiritual father everything that is in your heart, and only after that, if necessary, make a final decision. It is quite possible that the temptation will go away: frequent and sincere confession will heal this wound. For example, one woman said (it was in the Lavra, where there are many spiritual fathers): "Today, I feel that I have to go to confession to Father John, tomorrow I will go to Father Stephen, the day after tomorrow to Father Peter..." Such reasoning, of course, is not correct. What was her motivation? That every one would say to her after her heart? This is wrong. - Is it possible to describe the "ideal" relationship between a spiritual father and his child, which is possible in our time, under our conditions? - There is a concept of an evangelical father (mother) - this is when a spiritual father - a priest or an elder (elder) - "receives" the person tonsured (tonsured). And during the performance of tonsure, there is such a moment (at least, there is such a custom in monasteries): the hand of the elder who perceives the future monk is placed on the Gospel, and the hand of the newly-tonsured is placed on top, and the priest who performs the tonsure, turning to the elder-confessor, says: "Behold, I entrust to you before God the newcomer" (this means that from that moment on he will be responsible for it before God at the Last Judgment). And to the newly-tonsured one he says: "Obey the elder, as Christ's." This is what the concept of "perfect relationships" is all about. In a parish, in an ordinary church, lay children and priests-confessors are bound by bonds of mutual affection, and this already gives rise to obedience - this mutual agreement is salvific. If, for some reason, a person decides that he cannot be nourished by this priest, then he should not leave with a tight heart and gloomy feelings. In this case, it is better to explain yourself, so that after parting, meeting later by chance, you can greet and the layperson can take a blessing from the priest, and not bypass him, remembering the bitter moment of the breakup and the difficulties that preceded it, which is difficult for both of them and, of course, not in a Christian way. - And who can become a spiritual father? - In our Russian Orthodox Church, in most cases, every priest who serves in the parish and has the right to confess becomes a spiritual father. Gradually, he also acquired his own flock, which came to him as his spiritual father. In the Greek Church, as far as I know, not all, but certain priests are appointed spiritual fathers. - Can someone other than a priest be a spiritual mentor, for example, just a person who is more experienced in the spiritual life? - Yes, maybe, but it is no longer literally a "spiritual father", but rather a spiritual brother or - there is such a thing - a spiritual mother. Moreover, such nourishment and counseling is possible not only in monasteries, but also in the world. After all, if all this is sound and sober, if a person speaks from his spiritual experience, then why not listen to him and take advantage of his spiritual practice... Still, it is impossible to draw a complete analogy between him and his spiritual father. - Are there any qualities that can prevent a priest from becoming a pastor? "First of all, his conscience should tell him that. If he has something on his conscience, some negative circumstances in his life, or character traits that are unacceptable for such service, traits of spiritual appearance... Nevertheless, unsuitability for pastoral care is determined by the hierarchy. And the Russian people have always loved and still love their priests and are ready to forgive them everything. - And in what case is it necessary to change the confessor? - If there is no benefit for the soul. But, probably, we need to look at it on a case-by-case basis. If there is a need to part with one's pastor, it is better, of course, to consult with a more experienced one, with a senior one. I am sure that any priest, when they come to him with lamentations and cries and say: "Father, I feel that I am not getting any benefit from your leadership, I want to go somewhere, to ask someone," will say: "Of course, we need to consult on what to do next." - Is it possible to have a full-fledged spiritual life leading to salvation without a spiritual father? - By and large, the presence of a spiritual leader is not a guarantee of salvation. It is possible to live near a spiritual father and at the same time gain nothing. It is possible to take a blessing on everything and at the same time be guided by our own will, because often we come to hear not God's will, but a blessing on our decision, on our desires. That is possible. And if a person fulfills God's commandments, lives in a Christian way, cleanses his conscience through repentance, this does not mean that he is his own complete leader and has mercy on himself, forgives and punishes himself. Of course not. Therefore, even without a spiritual father, a person can be saved, of course. - What if a person is looking for spiritual guidance and does not find it? How can one find a spiritual father, not for some abstract person, but for oneself? - I think there may be different ways. If a person lives in a certain place, in a small town, village, village, where there is only one priest, and at the same time he does not have the opportunity to go somewhere else, to go and meet another priest, then the only way is to say to himself in a humble and simple heart: "Lord, bless!" and accept the local priest as his spiritual father. For example, in pre-revolutionary Russia, records were kept of who went to confession when, and who took communion. The parishes were orderly, a person could only approach the Sacraments in his parish; The neighboring parish had its own parishioners. And now there is complete freedom in this matter and there is an opportunity to choose a spiritual father according to one's heart. You just need to pray, and the Lord will reveal to whom to dispose. - And what if a person has not been able to find a spiritual father? - Let him go to church, confess, take communion, and the Lord, of course, will not leave him. First of all, you need to be a son or daughter of the Church - this is the most important thing, and the Lord will add the rest. - Fr. Alexis, what advice would you give to young pastors who are just starting their ministry? - I cannot advise pastors: I am not a shepherd over them, they are advised by their archpastors... And to all of us, sinners, people who want to purify our souls, I advise you to come to confession more often with a broken and humble heart. And if we feel in ourselves the sins that have multiplied like the sand of the sea, and if we sincerely repent of them, then we will be able to say that we are on the right path. Interviewed by Tatyana Byshovets This refers to Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov), the former confessor of the Trinity-Sergius Lavra.^

Bishop Longin of Saratov and Volsk. Empowering God to Act

The first thing that should be said when answering the question of why a spiritual father is needed is that Christianity cannot be taught theoretically. A true Christian attitude to life has been handed down from person to person since apostolic times. And the apostles themselves were with Christ, they received the truths of the Gospel in their entirety thanks to the fact that He taught them not only by word, but also by His very life. Teaching and instruction by personal example became the basis of monasticism, which in turn can be called the foundation of the Church, but it is also very characteristic of Christianity as a whole. Ideally, everyone who wants to come to God should meet a person who is already on the same path and be guided by his example in his life. There is an ancient Church Slavonic expression: "drugaprietno". It very accurately expresses the essence of such a local movement. And when we meet a person in our lives who can set an example for us, it is only natural that we turn to him with questions about our spiritual life. The fact is that, despite the diversity of human characters, the ways by which people come to God have some common patterns. The Apostle said of Christ: "As He Himself endured when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are tempted" (Hebrews 2:18). In the same way, a person who has faced inner difficulties and overcome them can help another person. And so we turn to the one in whom we see spiritual experience with our perplexing questions. In Russia, a priest in a parish has always been charged with the duty (as is still the case today) to direct the spiritual life of his flock. Not only to perform divine services, church sacraments or services, but also to confess, advise, instruct, and answer questions. That is why church canons say that ordination to the priesthood is possible no earlier than 30 years old. This is the age when a person becomes a real adult, acquires some, albeit not very large, but his own life experience. Unfortunately, today we have a great need for clergy, and we cannot strictly follow this rule: we ordain those who are much younger. Nevertheless, if a person, in preparing for the priestly ministry, learns to live as a Christian, he can help those people who are just coming to the Church. Digressing a bit, I will say that when future priests ask me: "How can we learn to confess people?", I answer: "In theory, there is no way. There is only one way, and that is to confess to a spiritually experienced person on a regular basis." In general, it is impossible to learn a great deal in the Church except by living the life of the Church. There are many textbooks on pastoral theology, but what is written in them will only be a dead weight for someone who has not lived a full-fledged church life himself. * * * A confessor is first and foremost a priest whom we trust. But what should this trust be based on? His words must not be at variance with his deeds. Whether this is true or not, in most cases can be verified within a fairly short time. But the first and foremost reason is that the words and deeds of this priest should not be at variance with the Gospel. If one thing is written in the Gospel, and the priest to whom we have come teaches another, completely opposite, even under the guise of piety, then there is no need to listen to him. For example, if in the Gospel it is said: "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt. 19:6; Mk. 10:9), and one of the "spiritual fathers" says to the husband and wife: "You must divorce and take monastic vows," he contradicts the Gospel. No matter how ascetic he is, in his attitude to family life he contradicts the Gospel, and under no circumstances should he be listened to. We must remember that many heretics were outstanding individuals. History has brought us that Arius, the presbyter of Alexandria, the founder of one of the most terrible heresies in the history of the Christian Church, was an ascetic in his personal life. He was revered by many for his asceticism and austerity, which attract people so much. But at the same time, his teaching sharply contradicted the Holy Scriptures. Therefore, those who were carried away by his preaching (and for a time most of the Church was carried away by what he said) became heretics. Therefore, the correspondence of all the words and actions of the priest to the spirit of the Gospel is the main thing that should be paid attention to by those who are looking for a spiritual father. * * * For a modern person living in the world, it is sufficient to make a regular detailed confession to his spiritual father, a parish priest or a monastic priest of the monastery where this person has the opportunity to come on a regular basis. In order for the confessor to be able to give some advice to the confessor, to guide him, it is necessary that he knows this person and the circumstances of his life for a long time. It is impossible and unnecessary for a layman to try to reproduce in his relations with his spiritual father the models that are given to us in the ancient paterikas. St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov) wrote that in his time the genuine, spirit-bearing teachers became impoverished. There are very few of them, more actors who put on the guise of ancient ascetics. Moreover, these words are relevant for our time. There is no need to look for unquestioning, world-renunciating obedience, which we see in ancient narratives, for example, in the story of that novice who, at the word of his elder, went to plant seedlings with the roots upwards... Unfortunately, the vast majority of modern people can no longer perceive this story in the same way as the monks of antiquity, and see the meaning that was originally embedded in it. They live a completely different life, and therefore the search for some kind of absolute, lifelong guidance on the part of the spiritual father is completely unjustified. And even if people think they have found such guidance, they are more often than not deceiving themselves. One should not expect from a priest or spiritual father clairvoyance, the ability to predict the future, to foresee. Very often, being burdened with worldly, non-ecclesiastical prejudices, even seemingly sincere believers come to the priest as... to a fortune teller of the highest category. Even though they know that Christianism has an extremely negative attitude towards any attempts to look into the future, in their weakness they want to receive momentary "guaranteed" help, to know their fate. They think that a fortune-teller can deceive, but an old man, "he will tell you for sure." And with such feelings, perhaps even without realizing them, they turn to the clergy, looking for "advertised" elders, real or imaginary. Such expectations of prophecies and searches for miracles not only interfere with leading a normal spiritual life, but often become a complete substitute for it. A person thinks that he is finding the truth, but in reality he is in delusion, in self-delusion. It is good if his confessor is a sensible person and will be able to recognize this state and direct it to the true path... Therefore, I repeat, it is very important for a believer to regularly confess to a spiritual father who knows him, who has the opportunity to observe his inner life and life circumstances for a long time, who can give him advice - not a command, not an order, but advice. And a person, if he trusts his spiritual father, of course, must fulfill this advice with faith. Obedience is done in freedom. In case of necessity, the priest or confessor advises something to the person who confesses to him, he advises, not orders. And if a person does this advice, he does it freely, of his own free will, agrees with what he is told. Even if he doesn't quite know or understand what he's going to do at the moment, he's still free to decide whether to obey him or not. And he, of course, is free to accept the words of his confessor or reject them. * * * During the years of my life at the Trinity-Sergius Lavra (1986-1992) there were several spiritual fathers of the brethren and laity, and many of the old monks I met were real spiritual fathers. The spiritual father of the brethren at that time was Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov). I confessed to him before monastic tonsure and, of course, all those years that I was a monk of the Lavra. It is difficult to talk about Father Kirill, because many good things have been said about him by a variety of people. Of course, he was and still is an example of a spiritual father, he has all the qualities I mentioned above. But his main feature is the extraordinary love that everyone who came to him felt. There is a very good criterion by which one can distinguish a person who is truly spiritual from one who willingly or unwittingly plays at this spirituality. Fr Kirill is strict with himself and is unusually patient and affectionate to everyone around him. Those who play, on the contrary, are indulgent to themselves and very strict with people. In general, for any Christian, such an attitude should become the basic rule of inner life: we should be stricter with ourselves, not allow ourselves what we usually allow ourselves, and absolutely forgive everything to our neighbors. And we usually do the opposite: we think about how tired we are, how hard it is for us, how difficult it is for us, and therefore we forgive ourselves a lot of things, but at the same time we make the harshest demands on those who are next to us: "How could he do this?", "Why doesn't she understand?" … Back then, when Fr Kirill was still receiving people, he greeted everyone with joy. He himself is an unusually calm, unusually sober person. There is not, and never has been, a drop of exaggerated emotionality in him. There is such a thing as naturalness in communication. It is in him that this naturalness manifests itself to the highest degree. What is striking is this: all these qualities, this love for people, are preserved in a true spiritual father, despite the fact that throughout his life he has to see people from the most unsightly side – at confession, when a person repents, confesses to such actions, which usually people try not only not to talk about, but also not to remember once again. We forgive ourselves everything: betrayal, meanness, and sinfulness, and in order to keep ourselves "in good shape", if we have already sinned, we try to quickly brush it off... And in the Sacrament of Penance, a person reveals all this to his spiritual father. Thousands of people went to confession at Fr Kirill's. If an ordinary person were to see such a picture of human sinfulness, infirmities, and the ugliness of human actions, he would not be able to preserve peace of mind and an equal attitude towards all people. And for Father Kirill, it evoked nothing but an ever-growing love for people. This is the result of a right spiritual life. Another person whom I remember with gratitude is the late abbess of the Russian Pokrovsky Convent in Bulgaria, Matushka Seraphima, nee Princess von Lieven. Her father, Prince Andrei Alexandrovich, the marshal of the nobility of the Kolomna district, fought in the White Army after the revolution, then emigrated with his family through the Crimea to Constantinople. In the pre-war years in Bulgaria he became a priest himself. Here Olga Andreevna (as Matushka was called in the world) became the spiritual daughter of Vladyka Seraphim (Sobolev),[1] he tonsured her into monasticism and blessed the monastery she had founded. When I was studying in Bulgaria, I talked to Matushka Seraphima quite often, asked her a variety of questions and was amazed at her attitude to the world, her views on spiritual life. To this day, her answers seem to me to be very precise and profound. One day I went to her and told her about an unsightly act of a certain person, which also offended me in part. Subsequently, this man was expelled from the theological educational institution where he studied. I was amazed by Matushka's reaction. As she listened to me, she repeated, "Poor, poor," with a feeling not just of deep contrition, but of heartache. And I thought that if what I was talking about had been told to another person, they would probably have reacted in a very different way: "What are you? Oh, my! How could he?" And she really said the only thing about this man with compassion and pain - it was her natural reaction - was: "Poor man!" At that time, it struck me to the depths of my soul, and I think it was no coincidence that the Lord gave me such a lesson: I saw how to react to human sin, because in fact, nothing else can be said about a sinner except this word "poor." To my great happiness, in my life there have been many meetings with people who are truly deep, spiritual, philanthropic, religious, striving for spiritual life, faithful to their calling. I think that it is precisely such encounters that can give a person the strength to follow Christ. In the ancient patericon there are the following words (they belong to St. Macarius the Great): "I am not a monk, but I have seen monks." Such an opportunity to "see monks," and in a broader sense, real Christians, to live with them, to see how they work, how they live, how they pray, is the most valuable thing that the Lord sends to man on his path. * * * Should a believer seek a spiritual father? Yes, but there are a few simple rules to follow. If you go to the church you go to, which you have chosen for some reason (or it is close to your home, or you just like it there), you should try to find a priest there to whom you can regularly confess. Time will tell whether this relationship will later develop into a deeper one, the relationship between a spiritual father and a spiritual child. But you can't say to yourself, "Well, I've come to the Church, now I urgently need a spiritual father. Where to go? To Alatyr, to Diveyevo? Until I find a confessor, I won't do anything" – this, of course, is fundamentally wrong. One should pray for the gift of a spiritual father. In general, the Lord sends to the seeker what he is looking for if he really needs it, and in the form in which it is really useful. We must not forget that the Lord is necessarily present in the relationship between the spiritual father and the one who is nourished by him, because these two are gathered together in the name of God (cf. Matt. 18:20). It is not just a human relationship that is established between them, as, for example, between a teacher and a student. If we gather and fellowship for God's sake, He is always present with us. But if we try to achieve everything on our own, according to our own will and understanding, there is nothing left for Him to do in our lives. We must remember this and allow God to act. Recorded by Natalia Gorenok Archbishop Seraphim (Sobolev) of Bogucharsk was born on December 1, 1881 in Ryazan. In 1908, while studying at the St. Petersburg Theological Academy, he was tonsured a monk with the name Seraphim (in honor of St. Seraphim of Sarov). In 1909-1911, as an assistant superintendent of the Theological School in Kaluga, he often visited the Optina Hermitage and was nourished by Elder Anatoly (Potapov). On October 1/14, 1920, in the cathedral of Simferopol, he was consecrated Bishop of Lubny, vicar of the Poltava diocese. In April 1921, with the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Tikhon, he was appointed administrator of the Russian parishes in Bulgaria with the title of Bishop of Bogucharsk. In the 1920s and 1940s, Vladyka Seraphim was active in archpastoral work, taking special care of the life of Russian émigrés in Bulgaria. A number of theological works and sermons of Vladyka have been published. Archbishop Seraphim died on February 26, 1950, the Sunday of the Triumph of Orthodoxy. His grave in the Russian church of St. Nicholas in Sofia is very revered by Orthodox believers.^

Why do we need a spiritual father?