Further, in order to get some benefit from reading the Gospel, endurance and consistency are needed. Whoever reads the passage and decides: this passage did not tell me anything, it did not reach me, is it worth reading at all? — will never reach any place where the words will sound from the heart of God into his own heart.

We must be prepared, as I said at the beginning, for the fact that some places will turn out to be alien to us, some will hurt us in some way, and only a few will reach us deeply. But by reading the Gospel, pondering over what we have heard, no matter how we react to it, we gradually plow our souls, prepare them for a new understanding. There is a passage in the Gospel where it is said that when a sower throws seed on the ground, some fall on the roadside, another on the bushes by the roadside, and some on stone soil, and finally, some on good soil that can bear fruit. Each of us is every day either one or the other, either a stone road or a soil that can receive the gospel. And therefore, if nothing came of reading today, if everything passed by, if there was absent-mindedness, if there was an inability to read deeply – read it tomorrow, read it the day after tomorrow: at some point it will suddenly turn out that the seed has actually fallen, but it has fallen to such a depth that it does not yet allow you to notice how a blade of grass is sprouting up. Only after some time will you see that what seemed alien and incomprehensible to you suddenly begins to sprout; The meadow is green, the harvest begins to rise. This is the first thing.

Second: you need to delve into the meaning of the Gospel, that is, make sure that when you read it, you understand what is said. If something is not clear, if, for example, the words are alien, outdated, you need to think about it yourself, or look in the dictionary, or ask someone, if only to establish the exact meaning of these words, because the depth you get to the word, it reaches you deeply or remains superficial.

It is necessary to read the Gospel regularly. It is best to read it in the morning, when thoughts are not yet scattered. But you should not just start reading the Gospel by taking a book, sitting down and expecting that you will immediately open up to it. We must stand before God and say: "Lord, I am now going to read the Gospel, which tells about the life of our Lord, the Savior Jesus Christ. Each of his words is a word from eternity, this is God's word to me personally. Bless me, help me to open my mind, my heart to be sensitive, and help me to be fearless. Because I will certainly come across such places that will require a change in my life, a change in my attitude to people, to myself, and I will be afraid of this change. Help me to become courageous, bold, but also wise..."

And finally, the Gospel must, of course, be read without haste. And you read a good book slowly, and you listen to your friend attentively, without waiting for him to finish speaking and leave. This is how we should treat the Savior Christ, Who now stands before you and speaks to you personally, shares His thoughts and feelings with you. He calls you to a new life, which He knows from experience and which is eternal life even now, in time and on earth. You need to read slowly; It doesn't matter if you read a passage large or small, whether it takes a long time or a little. When we read, for example, poems or a book that captivates us, how we slowly walk through it, how we listen to every word, how we hear the rhythm and sonority of poems! This is how the Gospel should be read. God speaks; Shall we say to Him, "Speak quickly, for I have other things to do"? No, stay with God.

And before you go away, before you go back to your usual business, stop, don't read anymore, don't think about anything else, but sit down and be silent. Be silent for five minutes, be silent in silence, listen to the silence that fills your room, which is already filling, perhaps, your mind and soul, listen, and then stand up and say: "Lord, bless me to enter into a new day, which has never existed before, which, like a snow-white plain, lies before me. Let me enter this plain and make a trail that is not crooked and unworthy of me or You. Bless me; At night I slept as if I were dead, and now I feel as if I have risen and am entering a new life..."

And having said this, go into life.

I have already mentioned what the Gospel meant to me when I first read it, and what fruit it bore in my soul. Of course, I was not able to live worthy of the Gospel, but I can be inspired by it, rejoice in it, consider that this is the kindest, most wonderful, wondrous thing that I have ever read in my life.

Now I want to move on to how to read the Gospel together. And the first question: is it necessary to read together? Why should we read together something that relates to me so personally? God speaks to me personally... Yes, but He speaks personally to all others who believe in Him and who read the Gospel or hear it. The Gospel speaks not only about me or for me, but about everyone. Each of us can perceive the same Gospel text, the same words, with the same inspiration, but with more or less deep understanding. And therefore one must read the Gospel alone, one must ponder it, get used to it, as St. Theophan the Recluse said, feel into it, one must begin to live according to it; but at the same time we must remember that the Gospel is given to everyone and that each of us, by listening, pondering, reading, living the Gospel, can understand it with new and new depth. Therefore, it is very important that wherever there is such an opportunity, people gather in small groups and read the Gospel together, and share their experiences.

I have already said that one must first read this or that passage for oneself and feel it; But at the same time, it is necessary to share this experience. Sharing this experience is not to enrich your mind, but because when you share what is most precious, the holiest, the most life-giving, you are doing a work of love; and the entire Gospel speaks from beginning to end about love, about how God loves us and how we should love each other and Him. Therefore, we must gather in small groups, four or eight people who have already read this passage, pray together, be silent, as if to be silent into our own silence or into the silence that constitutes joint silence, be silent long enough for the silence to penetrate deeply into us, and then read this passage – quietly, attentively, without drama, soberly, knowing that we can never pronounce the words of Christ in this way, how He pronounced them, and therefore they should be pronounced with restraint and reverence. After that, after a short silence, wait for someone to have something to say. We must give everyone time to respond. Whoever leads this meeting must be ready, if no one responds immediately, to raise some question. Namely, not to give an answer to those questions that he does not know, which have arisen in the souls of other people, but to pose a question that has arisen in his soul. Now, I read this passage; I wonder how it is possible that Christ commands us to love our enemies, and at the same time says that we must be willing to leave our dearest people in order to follow Him?.. There are many such places that will cause bewilderment. And then wait that maybe somebody that's had experience, or who's thought through, or who's read something on this subject, can respond and say, "You know, I may not understand everything, but that's how I understand this passage, that's how it's been explained to me, that's how this or that spiritual writer explains it." And so we can read the Gospel together, helping each other to understand, but also, in the end, supporting each other's determination and readiness not only to understand with our minds, not only to respond with our hearts, but with all our will to be strengthened in our determination to live according to the Gospel in everything that has become clear to me personally and to us together.

If we begin to read the Gospel together in this way, then, as the Scriptures say, a brother strengthened by a brother is like Mount Zion, and will never be moved. The support of like-minded people, the support of friends, the support of people who are on the same path to the Kingdom of God as you, can be of great help, and you should not refuse it. This means that it is worth reading the Gospel individually, and lovingly sharing your understanding with everyone, and drawing strength from this communion to live.

CHAPTER ONE