Some people have great pride, selfishness, and therefore God does not help them. Some children come to Athos from year to year, come to me in the kaliva and ask: "What does God want from me, father?" They did not become monks, nor did they create a family. You might think that they are golden, and they are afraid that they will be used in some reinforced concrete structure, like a simple piece of iron! And there are those who ask me: "Geronda, what should I do: become a monk or get married? Tell me, what is my calling?" - "And what do you want yourself?" - I asked. "And get married," they answered, "and become a monk." That is, they want both! But if I tell them my thoughts that, for example, their vocation is family life and they get married, and family life will not be to their liking, then they will come to me and express their complaints: "It was you who told me to choose this path, and now I am suffering!"

– Geronda, how can this happen?

– Well, let's assume that the vocation of a young man is family life, but he also thinks about monasticism. If, after getting married, he is inattentive and does not create a good family, and he has problems that he will not solve spiritually, then the evil one will raise a battle of thoughts against him. "Your vocation was in monasticism," the enemy will say to him. "But since you're married, that's what you want." That is, the enemy will not leave such a person alone day or night.

And some themselves do not know what they want. A few years ago, a girl came here and started saying to me, "Geronda, I can't decide which path in life I should take. I want to get married, but I'm also thinking about becoming a monk. What shall I do?" - "Take a closer look," I answered her, "at which path is more to your liking, and choose it." "I don't know," she said. - Sometimes it seems to me that I am more inclined towards marriage. I beg you, Geronda, you better tell me yourself what to do." "Well," I advised her, "since you see that you are more inclined to marry, you had better get married, and God will arrange your life." "With your blessing, Geronda," she answered me, "I will do so." And today she came again. "Geronda," she said, "and I got married. For a sailor. A good man, thank God, I can't say anything. But I'm terribly worried. And isn't it torment: we live together for six months, apart for six months. As soon as he goes on a voyage, he is not seen for six months." "Blessed soul! - I answered her. "Didn't you tell me that family and monastic life are after your heart?" Well, here you are: now you have both. Why don't you praise God for arranging your life in this way?"

– Geronda, today we are going through difficult times, so some young men and women do not dare to start a family.

– No, this is the wrong way to put the question. If they have trust in Christ, they have nothing to fear. And the years of persecution? Were they light? But did Christians stop marrying and starting families in those days? [On the contrary -] how many saints are there in our Church who have been martyred together with their children and spouses!

Young people's studies and embarking on their chosen path