"But until she gets married, what do you want her to do?" Sell caramel? Let her better graduate from a higher educational institution or acquire some specialty, because if something unforeseen happens in her life, the acquired knowledge or profession may be useful to her. A girl once said to me, "I'm thinking about becoming a monk, but I'm constantly changing my mind." - "And what class are you in?" "In the second grade of the lyceum [1]," she answered, "but I don't want to study further." - "Don't you want to study? I said. "Then I'll tell your father to buy you goats, a shepherd's dog, and a pipe." The dog will guard the herd, and you will play the pipe and graze it. Well, do you like it? Here's the thing: let's try to get a higher education or acquire some practical specialty." "Then, Geronda," she answered, "let me, until I decide whether to go to a monastery or to get married, I will live in the monastery as a candidate for novice, in order to learn the art of humility." "Well," I answered, "you can learn this art at home, if you will gladly accept what your relatives tell you. So let's do it this way: first you graduate from school, then you pass the university exams, and when you graduate, we'll see what you do next." "Isn't five years, Geronda," she answered, "too long?" - "A lot," I said, "but what can you do, since you have not yet come to a final decision?" - "Am I to blame for this because of my inconstancy?" she asked. "No," I say, "but your [spiritual] scales do not yet tip in either direction."

In such cases, we must prompt the young people to be attentive and not to waste time aimlessly. During their studies, they should live, as much as possible, more spiritually, try to get a diploma as soon as possible (which is necessary), and then God will arrange everything. During their studies, they need to find a good spiritual father to help them avoid both superficial enthusiasm from monastic or family life, and not to fall into despair. Let them endure until they finish their studies.

Having finished it, having already become mature people, they will have the prerequisites for this or that life. Then let them make a decision on the choice of life path and do for the glory of God what they consider best. The world today has reached such a state that the more mature they decide to choose their path in life, the better. Do you know what unpleasant stories happen? A person needs to be very attentive and not make immature decisions - especially if he is prone to enthusiasm, easily carried away by something.

- Geronda, some young people do not want to learn their lessons, because they prefer spiritual reading and prayers.

- No, you don't need to start lessons. In order to maintain a spiritual tone, let them read a passage from some patristic book at the same time as their textbooks, pray a little, and make a few prostrations. And when they have to study and read a lot, they can arrange changes for themselves and say the Jesus Prayer at this time or sing something churchly. For if they want to engage in spiritual activities during their studies, which they could do later, then with thoughts of lessons and study, they will not be able to do this spiritual work properly, and they will not be able to succeed in their studies. In the end, they won't achieve anything. But by reading and doing homework, they will quickly receive a diploma and after that they will do what they want. While in the hospital [2], I left the rosary, and the prostrations, and the fasts for several days: I ate what was given. "Now," I said to myself, "I need to help the doctors a little so that they can help me get well. And then I'll do what I want."

Some children come to me and complain that their parents stand over their souls, forcing them to prepare their homework. If I also stand over these guys' souls, then I will not benefit them. To make them understand that they shouldn't neglect their studies, I give them the example of their peers who didn't care about their studies and then everything went awry for them, as well as those guys who were diligent about their studies and therefore succeeded. I remember the following case: in one city next door, two boys grew up. One, very quick-witted, quickly coped with his lessons, in junior and middle grades he got A's with pluses. The other was not so smart, and it took a lot of diligence to keep up with the first. Having moved to high school, the excellent student studied for only one year, got mixed up with bad company, dropped out of school and in the end was forced to get a job as a cleaner at some enterprise. He was already married, had two children and could hardly make ends meet. And his neighbor graduated from the Faculty of Law, then studied in Europe and received a diploma in entrepreneurship. Once at the enterprise where the former excellent student worked as a cleaner, they were waiting for a new manager. Everyone said that he was well educated. When the new manager arrived, the janitor immediately recognized him as his former classmate. The former excellent student was so overcome by despair that he tried to commit suicide several times. Someone advised him to come to the Holy Mountain and meet me. When he was telling me about his life, he burst out: "Just look, this idiot has become my manager!" "Oh, you," I said, "so-and-so! Why, you could have climbed higher than him! And you yourself would live well, and your children would not be in need, and you would do good deeds! Is it not enough for you that your family suffers because of you? Now you still want to lay hands on yourself in order to finally finish her off and so that your children remain orphans? I don't feel sorry for you, because you're paying for your own stupidity now, but I feel sorry for your children. Do you understand this? Come on, be patient, and I think with God's help, the new steward will treat you well too. He can transfer you to another position, better than the previous one. And if it happens that you do not like this enterprise, find another job, do not bring your children to the point where they remain in the open air." After that, he somehow came to his senses.

So it turns out that if the guys study properly during their studies, then, although they will be a little tired, they will not have debts, they will quickly receive a diploma, and later they will have nothing to be sad about. I see that the guys who during their studies had debts in various subjects, graduating from the university and receiving an appointment to a place, also continue to be in debt - now with one, then with the other - and have many problems.

- Geronda, if a young man, studying at a higher educational institution, meets a girl and this acquaintance can make a family, does it make sense to get married without completing his studies?

- I think that no matter how good and kind this acquaintance is, it will interfere with studying. If a student gets married, then such a marriage will torment both his wife and his children - even if his chosen one turns out to be the best life partner. It is better for such a young person to concentrate his mental and physical strength on getting an education and, without straining, graduate from the university. And then let him arrange his personal life. After all, if his forces are scattered, then he will constantly be in a state of spiritual and physical breakdown.

The main prerequisite for the correct entry into the chosen path is spiritual life

- Geronda, do you remember the girl who told you what she thought about monasticism? She told me that a classmate of hers began pestering her with questions about why she didn't go to the movies and didn't go out with the boys. What did she have to say to him?

- I should have told him: "Even my own brother doesn't ask me such questions! Are you going to ask me about it?"

"And a few days later he met her again near the university and grabbed her by the shoulder. She only said to him, "Hello," and immediately went inside.

"No, she did badly!" In this case, it was necessary to rebuff him. She behaved in such a way that he might have the impression that she liked his prank, so he would repeat it again. She is now at a somewhat difficult age, and therefore, if she begins to make friends with young men, it will not do her any good. And she also does not need to talk to them, allegedly in order to help them. If she, having met a kind, good young man, decides to marry, she must inform her parents about this. They will figure out whether the young man has the qualities necessary to create a good family. But now, when she has not yet decided which path in life to take, talking to young men is not good for her, because it will simply turn her head and she will lose peace. Unfortunate young men and women who are inattentive in this respect are in a very unbalanced state, constantly agitated and have no peace. Anxiety and worry are written on their faces and reflected in their eyes.