Thus, the true grace-filled life in man is in the beginning only a seed, a spark; but the seed planted among thorns, the spark covered everywhere with ashes... It is still a weak candle, shining in the thickest fog. By consciousness and volition, man cleaved to God, and God received him, united with him in this self-conscious and volitional force, or mind and spirit, as it is said in Saints Anthony and Macarius the Great. And there is only good, saved, God-pleasing in man. All the other parts are still in captivity and do not want and cannot yet submit to the demands of the new life: the mind does not know how to think in a new way, but thinks in the old way; the will does not know how to will in a new way, but wants in the old way; the heart does not know how to feel in a new way, but feels in the old way. It is the same in the body, in all its functions. Consequently, he is still completely impure, except for a single point, which is the conscious and free force, the mind or spirit. God is the purest and unites with this one part, while all other parts, as impure, remain outside of Him, alien to Him, although He is ready to fill the whole man, but does not do this because man is unclean... Then, as soon as he is purified, God immediately manifests His complete indwelling. St. Gregory of Sinai writes: "If our nature is not preserved from defilement through the Spirit and is not made pure as it was, then neither in the present nor in the future life will it be able to unite with Christ into one body and spirit; for the all-encompassing and unifying power of the Spirit is not accustomed to sew the rags of the old passions to the new robe of grace to fill it up" [22]. It is impossible for the Lord to dwell completely, for the dwelling is not yet prepared; it is impossible to pour out grace into it completely - the vessel is still bad. To do so would mean to waste and destroy spiritual treasures. What fellowship is there between light and darkness, or between Christ and Belial? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). And the Lord, who promised to come with the Father and create a monastery, sets as an indispensable condition for this the fulfillment of the commandments – of course, the commandments of all, in other words, the right activity in everything, which is impossible without the righteousness of the forces, and the righteousness of the forces without the rejection of the wrongness that has come from them, or the rejection (rejection – Ed.) of sinfulness and passion. In a way, the following passage may be included here: "If we say that the Imam is in communion with Him, and in darkness we walk, we lie, and do not do the truth; but if we walk in the light, as He Himself is in the light, the communion of the Imams with one another (1 John 1:67). This darkness is the darkness of the passions, because afterwards St. John uses instead of its dislike and threefold lust (cf. 1 John 2:10-11, 16). Light, on the contrary, is the light of virtues; and again because afterwards the light is replaced by virtues. From this it can be seen that only then is it possible to truly stand in the perfection of communion with God, when the darkness of the passions has been driven away and the light of the virtues has shone, when they have been imprinted, have grown together as if with our being, have clothed and penetrated our powers, expelling and ousting from them the passions so that they are no longer luminous, but self-luminous. Up to that time, communion with God is so hidden, so unknown, that it may seem to be non-existent and to some extent must be considered unreliable, indecisive, incomplete, or inconsistent with itself.

Thus, that the Lord, having come into union with the spirit of man, does not suddenly completely fill or dwell in him, does not depend on Him, who is ready to fulfill everything, but on us, precisely on the passions that have dissolved with the forces of our nature, have not yet been torn away from them and have not been replaced by opposite virtues. "Sinful passions," says St. Anthony the Great, "do not allow God to shine in us [23]. If, however, the main goal towards which the penitent must strive is complete communion with God, light-bearing, blessed, and the main obstacle to this is the existence in him of the passions that are still acting and quality, the imprint of the virtues and the wrongness of the powers, then it is obvious that his main deed, immediately after conversion and repentance, is the eradication of the passions and the imprinting of the virtues - in a word, the correction of himself...

This must be convinced as fully as possible, because all active errors seem to arise from ignorance of this principle [24]. Not understanding the power of this, some stop at the outward appearance of exercise and asceticism, others at good deeds and skill in them, without reaching higher, and still others go directly into contemplation. All this is necessary, but everything has its own loin. At first everything is in the seed, then it develops not exclusively, but mainly in one or another part, but gradualness is inevitable - an ascent from external feats to internal ones, and from both to contemplation, and not vice versa.

Having become convinced of this, we can now easily extract the guiding rules for a God-pleasing life, or the spirit and order of asceticism.

Let us turn back a little and again become our attention before the man who has dedicated himself to God and has vowed to act always and in everything according to His will, for His glory, to be enriched by truly good works. Having made up his mind to do this, how else can he act in this way, when, as we have seen, neither one nor the other part of us is capable of doing so? Sin is hated in the spirit, but the body and soul sympathize with it, cling to it, because they are clothed with passions. The good or will of God is loved in the spirit, but the body and soul do not sympathize with it, turn away from it, or, if this is not the case, do not know how to do it. Therefore, he who has decided, out of his zeal, to remain faithful to the vow given and, out of conscious necessity, to abide in good, must inevitably resist the demands of his body and soul in every good deed (and he should not have any evil ones) and, refusing them, compel them to do the opposite. And since the body and soul do not depart from his person, but constitute him, this is the same as resisting oneself in evil and forcing oneself to do good. Self-resistance and self-compulsion are two turns of jealousy revived in the spirit, formed, as it were, the beginnings of asceticism. Both constitute man's struggle with himself, or, in other words, podvig.

Hence, the converted penitent, from the first minutes of his new life, inevitably enters into podvig, into struggle, into labor, and begins to bear no burden, no yoke. And this is so significant that the only true path of virtue is recognized by all the saints as its sickness and difficulty, and the contrary privilege is a sign of the false path: the Kingdom of God is wanting, and the needy delight it (Matt. 11:12). Whoever is not in struggle, not in podvig, is in delusion. The Apostle says: "He who does not endure is not a son" (Heb. 12:78).

Thus, the zealous person is zealous for the feats of self-compulsion and self-resistance with the aim of self-correction, or raising himself to the primordial purity, so that he may be vouchsafed communion with God the more quickly. Obviously, the more zealous, thorough, and swift he does this, the more successfully he achieves his goal. This is the same as the one who goes against himself more hatefully and hostilely, acts more sharply and decisively, is more likely to enter into purity. That is why we see that all the saints who ascended to the height of Christian perfection, after their conversion, began the strictest feats of self-mortification - fasting, vigils, longing (on the ground of lying - Ed.), solitude, and so on. It was a consciously chosen measure, inspired by grace, taken for a speedy ripening, and it was indeed soon given. On the contrary, relief, stopping, self-pity, although not constant, have always slowed down and slow down the course of spiritual growth (growth - Ed.).

And so, the matter of the one who has decided: be zealous, take up more resolutely the feats, which are also the most decisive and adaptable, for among them some are more and others less conducive to the mortification of the passions and the imprinting of virtues. If this state of suffering is inevitable, albeit transitory, then what is the point of dragging out this matter for one oversight? Indecision, oversight, lethargy are a great obstacle.

I have decided, do not stand there, but fight; This is on behalf of a person. But at the same time it is necessary to constantly keep in mind that, although self-ruthless zeal is salvific for the convert, nevertheless the success and fruits of his labors and feats, that is, their influence and influence on the purification of the passions and the formation of true good morals, are not from him. The fruit of podvigs is sown and ripens under them, but not by them and not through them alone, but by grace. I planted, Apollos gave me to drink, and God grew (1 Corinthians 3:6). As spiritual life began by God's grace, so can it only be preserved and matured. "He who has begun a work in you is strong," says the Apostle, "and will accomplish it to the end" (cf. Phil. 1:6). The first seed of the new life consists of a combination of freedom and grace, and its spur will be the development of these elements alone. Just as there, vowing to live according to the will of God, to His glory, the penitent said: "Only Thou strengthen and strengthen," so in all the time that follows he must at every moment, so to speak, put himself into the hand of God with the prayer: "Thou Thyself do what pleases Thy will," so that in this way, both in consciousness and volition, and in reality, God will be at work in us, and to will, and to do good will (Phil. 2:13). The minute in which a person himself hopes to do something about himself and in himself is the minute of extinguishing a true, spiritual, grace-filled life. In this state, in spite of exorbitant labors, there is no true fruit. There are consequences that cannot be called bad if you look at them separately; but in the course of the matter they are a stop and a deviation, and often an evil, for they lead to arrogance, self-conceit, which are the seed of the devil, instilled by him and related to him. At the same time, the work of God in us is not mixed with God's and spoils it, so that instead of raising up a person who has come to his senses, grace will first cleanse and remove (throw away rubbish, unnecessary - Ed.), spoiled by self-madeness. Or do you not know that Christ is in you, the Apostle teaches, unless you are unskilled (cf. 2 Corinthians 13:5). Having united with the Lord in the Sacrament of repentance or baptism, we must surrender ourselves to Him, so that having entered into us Himself, as the Lord of all, He will arrange our salvation by the tidings of fate. The Lord said: "Without Me ye can do nothing" (John 15:5) – we must believe and ask Him to do in us, to cleanse us of passions, to impress virtue in us, and to do all that is healing. This is the essential mood of the penitent: "By them weigh my destinies, save me, O Lord, and I will work and without hypocrisy, without deviations or misinterpretations, with a clear conscience, do everything that I understand and can!" His teacher is God, the man of prayer is God, the willer and doer is God, the fruit-bearer is God, the ruler is God. This is the seed and heart of the heavenly tree of life in him, but for him there must be a material-spiritual fence. This fence is made up of a leader and rules.

The repentant, having given himself over to God, immediately comes under His direct guidance and is accepted by Him. Whoever manages to do this, as he should, at the beginning, is hastily, smoothly and reliably led by God's grace to perfection. But in fact, there are very few of them. These are God's chosen ones, who, with an incredibly quick impulse from themselves, placed themselves in God's hands, were accepted and led by Him. Such, for example, are Mary of Egypt, Paul of Thebes, Marco of Thrace, and others. They were saved only by a resolute surrender of themselves to God. Mary of Egypt, in all her fierce battles with the passions, had a rule to throw oneself into the hand of God, and the passions departed, as we know, through podvig. Without a doubt, she did the same in other cases: for example, she asked for admonition and received it.

But such a path was not and could not be universal. He belonged and still belongs to the special chosen ones of God. Others are all maturing under the visible guidance of experienced men. Standing in the faith that only God grows, the penitent, in order to be in time, must without fail surrender himself to his father-leader. The necessity of this is presented because there is no complete surrender of oneself to God, a defect belonging to the majority. It must be matured and matured by many experiments, and before its formation there is no point to which the guiding hand of the Lord would touch – there is, as it were, no occasion for which the message must. Consequently, without this condition, one who begins to do the work of salvation himself will inevitably follow a path of which it cannot be said decisively that it is the right path, and this is both dangerous and painful for the spirit. Saint Anthony the Great, when he came to the thought whether his rules were correct, immediately began to cry out: "Tell me, O Lord, the way," and, having received assurance, he calmed down. He who enters the spiritual life is the same as one who has entered the ordinary path. Since this path is unknown to us, it is necessary that someone accompany us. It would be presumptuous to dwell on the idea that I myself can... No, neither rank nor scholarship - nothing helps. It is no less presumptuous if someone, without extreme need, having the opportunity to obtain a leader, does not choose him, in the thought that God will directly guide him. Indeed, the knowledge to perfection belongs to God, who came to us, but under the guidance of the father. The Father does not raise them to degrees, but helps them to be raised up from God. However, in the usual order, God leads us through others, admonishes us, purifies us, and declares His will. Those who are left alone, with themselves, are in extreme danger, not to mention the fact that they will struggle and jostle in one place almost without any fruit. Not knowing either spiritual feats and exercises, or the order in them, he will only do and remake, as one who does not know how to take up a task. Often for this reason, many people stagnation, grow cold and lose jealousy. But the main danger to it is from internal discord and satanic flattery. The one who began has a fog inside, as from stinking vapors, from passions and wrong publications from himself, from spoiled forces. Everyone has it, more or less thick, judging by the previous depravity. In this fog, how good and correct is it to distinguish objects? To one who wanders in the mist, even a small row of herbals often seems like a forest or a village, so one who has begun spiritual activity inevitably sees much where there is nothing in reality. Only an experienced eye can reason and explain what is going on. Again, he is sick: how can he be his own doctor? He will kill and strangle himself out of love for himself: for even bodies are not healed by doctors themselves. But the main danger in this case is from Satan. Since he himself is primarily self-witted, he loves more among people those who are guided by their own mind, and on this he mainly confuses and destroys. And it can be said that this alone gives him access to us, or the opportunity to plunge us into destruction. Whoever does not believe in his own mind and heart, and, on the contrary, offers everything that is in feeling and thought to the judgment of another, even if the devil instills something dangerous and pernicious, will not suffer, because the experience and reason of another will unravel the delusion and warn him. That is why they say: whoever has a leader and entrusts himself to him, Satan does not approach him, so as not to be constantly put to shame and not to reveal all his snares. On the contrary, it does not cease to exist with him who believes in himself alone or composes his reason and relies on it. Such a one, by various plausibles, imprinted through imagination, or by the power of dreaming, he leads him along various crossroads, until at last he completely destroys him.

Judging by these reasons, which are very valid, the beginner must agree to have a leader, elect him and surrender to him. Under it he is safe, as under a roof and a fence - he will already be responsible both before God and before people for infidelity. But it is wondrous that the seeker is always sincerely given a true guide. And the guide, whoever he may be, always gives accurate and faithful guidance, as soon as the one who is led gives himself over to him with all his soul and faith. The Lord Himself already guards such a devotee... Pray - and the Lord will show you a guide; give yourself over to your leader, and the Lord will teach him how to guide you.

Another thing that is inevitably necessary for a repentant who has made up his mind is rules. A rule is a definition or a method, an image and an institution of any activity, whether internal or external. They are given the direction and the whole course is determined - the beginning, time, place, turns, the end of the action. Thus, for example, one must read – this is one of the ascetic deeds. The rule should determine: what books to read, at what time, how much, how to prepare, how to begin, continue and finish, what to do with what you read. The same is true for prayer, reasoning, and other activities. It is obvious that the rules encompass every action, they constitute its outer shell, as if it were a body. They must be imposed on all our forces, on all the outcomes of our activity, so that no movement can be made without its own rule being applied to it.

The need for this is self-evident. A completely new, unusual life begins, in which we have not yet exercised, to which our strength is unaccustomed. In order to accustom oneself to this or that activity and to strengthen oneself in it, it is necessary to appoint certain rules for how and what to do, just as a newly recruited soldier is shown how to stand, take a gun, and so on. Without them, strength will not be formed, and there will be no serviceable activity. He will not know how to pray who does not have a rule for prayer, or to fast without a rule of fasting; In general, the wrong will not be able to do anything as he should, and consequently his life will not be life, in spite of his labors and sweats, for life is composed of our activities. Moreover, life without rules cannot be even, sedately and harmoniously developing. A child is swaddled so that he does not become a freak or with a hump: in the same way, all spiritual activity should be entwined with rules, it is expedient that all life should develop under them smoothly and harmoniously, that no activity should take out of ignorance a direction that stands out from others and harms the whole system, or does not fall into the wrong path of its own accord, as, for example, post. A young plant is propped up or tied to a strong one so that it stands and grows straight. He who develops without rules, of his own accord, is untrained, unskillful, unable to do some things, doing some things in the wrong way, and some things in this way, but this is out of place, out of touch with the person. Finally, the danger is considerable: without rules, as without support, it is inevitable to fall and make mistakes. For such a person, all activity will hang on the presence of the spirit, consideration and desire. But can we rely on such principles? Presence of mind cannot always be preserved; the mind must be trained and, moreover, it is not always mobile, sharp and dull; Who can control desire all the time? Therefore, when there are no rules, omissions, mistakes, and stops are inevitable. There is only one thing with the rules: whether you want it or not, do it as it should be, and it will be done; There will be no stop, and he will move forward. And again: how else to curb willfulness and self-thinking - this most dangerous disposition [26]?