And so my life went, outwardly successful, interesting, but inwardly empty, and I was aware of this at times.

A girl worked in our design department, a design engineer, about twenty-five years old. Capable, strong-willed, persistent. Her colleagues called her Elena Sergeevna. They said that when I came to work in the department, they began to call her: Lenka, Lena, but very seriously she said: Why is it so difficult, just call it Elena Sergeevna, and she weaned her. I often met with her at work, but I did not pay attention to her as a woman. Lena did not seem uninteresting to me, but seriousness and composure put her in the position of a kind of blue stocking in my eyes. I worked with her for about a year and did not notice everything.

We were going on an excursion to Rostov Severny, I had been there several times, but I went because my usual companions were celebrating someone's birthday, and I did not want to be there.

At seven o'clock in the morning, we gathered in a tour bus, it was filled mainly with elderly people, there were only four young people, including Lena. Came. We went, as always, to churches and museums. The guide tells, but Elena Sergeevna walks in the distance alone and carefully examines icons, frescoes, temples. I didn't listen to the guide either. He approached Lena and said: Listen. Very interesting. I'm not interested, I perceive ancient Russian art in my own way.

We went to the museum. He tells almost the same as the guide, but in the intonation and shades you can hear something different. Icons, the lives of saints, episodes from Russian history sounded in her story with some other life: softer, warmer, sincere, and in the foreground the attitude of a believer to faith, God, was revealed, and all this was refracted through the soul of the believer. When we went to the churches, Elena Sergeevna perked up, and the Rostov frescoes in her story opened up for me in a new way.

She raised the frescoes, icons, architecture of churches to the level of spirituality, majesty, connecting everything with the faith and life of our people, their past.

I was interested in Elena Sergeevna. At work, he began to approach her and talk. We went to Suzdal, Uglich, and these trips gave me a lot of new things. I asked how she managed to learn so much about ancient Russian art. I answered: I was interested, I read it. More to come. He began to court without much interest. I thought I would get it soon.

He saw me off one evening and hugged me, roughly, strongly, and kissed me. She pushed it away, broke free, left. It got me sick. He tried to come up to him at work and talk. He does not talk, is silent, avoids it. After work, he caught up and tried to speak, but he was silent. I did not go alone. She only told me: I did not expect you to be so rude. It's not art for you! Everything is ostentatious, played with you!

At the institute, my colleagues, especially women who notice everything, laughed at me, seeing my affection for Lena, and said to me: Here is unrequited love, Yuri Alexandrovich, and it has reached you.

Summer began, I went south on vacation. I met one of my acquaintances there, mountains, tents, hiking... He got carried away, and Lena somehow forgot herself. I came to Moscow and I felt that I could not live without Elena Sergeevna, I needed her like air. Again he tried to speak, to see everything off to no avail. He is silent, does not answer. He speaks only at work on business, and even then monosyllabically. Once I wanted to talk to her on the street. I follow her. I got into the subway, got to one station. She went out and walked through the alleys, I followed her in the distance, reached the church and, entering, began to pass forward among the worshippers. I walked and stood near some icon, then I found out that it was Nicholas the Wonderworker. She crossed herself several times and sang along with the choir. I stood aside and watched. His face was transformed, brightened and concentrated. I have never seen Lena like this.

From that time on, he began to go to this church every Saturday. I stand aside between the worshippers and slowly watch her, but after a month and a half Lena saw me. I wanted to speak, apologize, but nothing helped, and soon she left the institute because of me. Colleagues, and then they understood this.

However, I continued to go to church, I was interested in what makes a modern person believe? and a girl like Lena. I come, listen, try to delve into and understand the service. It seemed to me that one can be interested in ancient architecture, painting, history, love antiquity, but how can one believe in God in our time? What for? And even pray. To stand next to pensioners, old women, to listen to the reading of the clergy, incomprehensible and incomprehensible. Singing, of course, is good, but you can go to a concert hall and hear a wonderful concert performed by the best singers, and at the same time sitting among a fairly cultured audience.

And here?

I wanted to understand the nature of modern faith. Find out what attracts and makes a person believe? Lena, seeing me, stopped going to this church, I continued, looking closely and studying. I saw that there were not only old men and women, there were also young people. Tall guys dressed in a modern way, young girls, women with children, intelligent-looking men. What could have brought Lena and these people here? A what? I wanted to ask, to come up, to talk.