I've just come from Mass. Hello, happy holiday, and, coming up to Maryushka, she embraced and kissed her several times, quietly knelt down, bowing her head low to the floor, saying: Forgive me, a sinner, before God and you I am guilty. Forgive me. Maryushka was bewildered, lifted her mother up, and suddenly began to cry, and my mother embraced her once more, came up to me, and as she always did, made the sign of the cross and kissed her in the same way, and, turning to Marfa Pavlovna, said: Thank you for saving Alexei, for going out. Thank you to the late Pyotr Sergeyevich and to you, Maryushka. From that day on, life changed, my mother became the old one I had known all my life. She showed special care and tenderness to Maryushka, and her relationship with Marfa Pavlovna was surprisingly friendly, as if they had been friends all their lives, and their faith in God united them.

Years passed. Maryushka graduated from medical school in 1952, at that time she was already 26 years old, and in the same year she gave birth to twins, the daughter was named Maria, the son was named Peter, the children were immediately taken under the care of both grandmothers. Maryushka began to work as a doctor under the guidance of Irina Nikolaevna (professor and doctor of medicine), our good friend, the spiritual daughter of Father Arseny, I continued to work in my mailbox, dealing with the most difficult mathematical problems, but Maryushka had long overtaken me in terms of academic degrees.

The children grew up, the daughter married a biologist, who soon became a priest, the son has also been married for a long time and works as a mathematician and computer specialist. They have four grandchildren, two girls and two boys. Children and grandchildren have been brought up in the faith, know church services, read the Gospel, and everything was put into them by Marfa Pavlovna, mother, Maryushka, and, of course, by me.

I have listed almost everything that has happened to me. It was not fate, not chance, as many people who do not know God or do not fully know Him, say, the miracle, the great mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ and the intercession of the Mother of God and the saints that all the time protected me, saved me and strengthened me in faith;

My mother died in 1979, but we never found out why she suddenly disliked Maryushka and me, and we did not ask questions, silently avoiding the subject. Probably, it was necessary for my mother to realize whether she was following God's commandments about love for her neighbor, for subsequent humility and victory over herself. Marfa Pavlovna has become old, but she retains her memory, her sober mind, and she reads without glasses, prays a lot, and seldom misses church services; Her grandchildren and great-grandchildren come to her for advice and comfort.

After reading the memoirs, many will be surprised that nothing is written in them about our elder, Hieromonk Father Arseny. This is explained by the fact that in 1984 I was given the memoirs of him for safekeeping (at that time we were afraid that they would be found, because much of what I had written began to appear in samizdat without the knowledge of Father Arseny's living spiritual children), and they stayed in our family for almost five years, with M's permission.

Arsenius, believing that people would find all the best and necessary in the beautifully written memoirs of his spiritual children and associates.

I will only say that I have always been struck by his penetration into the soul, the heart of man; Speaking to Fr. Arseny or telling him about himself, he already knew what you wanted to say, he knew about your grief, misfortune, suffering, and perhaps he already knew when you first came to him. The Lord's mercy overshadowed him and gave him the gift of clairvoyance, and this came through great suffering, deep constant prayer, dissolution in love for a person, and the fact that for many decades of sorrow, resentment, sorrow, misfortune, death of thousands of people passed through his soul and he took it all upon himself, empathized and suffered together with the one who came to him, and found the answer necessary for this person. Combined with the mercy of the Lord, all this gave Fr. Arseny the gift of insight into the human soul.

I am very grateful to all those who helped me in my difficult life at that time, and to all those who took care of me and prayed for Maryushka, me and our family after the war. May the Lord's blessing come upon them, and may the Mother of God help them.

INVESTIGATOR

There came days when the past imperiously invaded my life, it palpably stood next to me and made me remember the years that had passed into oblivion to the smallest detail.

Insomnia was usually overcome by insomnia these days, she sat down near me like an importunate nurse, and nothing made it possible to get rid of it, and then in the middle of the night she got up, sat down at the desk, took a notebook and began to write. Through the light haze of oblivion, the past gradually emerged, at first the events, the faces of near and dear people, then it was united into an endless thread of a bygone life, counted in many years, and in these moments the good and the bad fell into place.

It was the year of brutal church repression, the year 1932, and Father Arseny, who had just been released, was arrested again and exiled to the north for five years. At the same time, they took 6 brothers and sisters of the community and sent two to Karaganda for five years, and four people to camps for a period of three to five years. It was a time when each of us was waiting to be arrested, waiting for our turn. We prayed a lot according to Fr. Arseny's behest, gathering several people at someone's apartment (our church was closed), sometimes a priest would come, and then the Liturgy would be celebrated, we would confess and take communion, everything would be done in secret. Fr. Arseny sent short letters instructing, supporting, and comforting. Receiving the letter was a great joy for each of us. Constantly, one of the sisters of the community lived with him in that village, town or village, but they were not allowed to live in one place for more than six months, each time. Directing to a harsher place, it was especially difficult in winter and early spring, when communication was interrupted.

Arrests in Moscow came in waves at intervals of one or two months. Night was falling, and each of us thought that maybe they would come for him today, a bag of things in case of arrest was always packed. A night bell or a sharp knock on the door spoke, they came, and on March 18, 1932, they came for me.