Of course, we are sinful people, we are unreasonable, ill-mannered people. We do not know the Gospel and do not know Orthodox worship, we do not know Orthodox canons, Orthodox dogmas, we do not know the Orthodox faith at all, we do not understand, we do not feel. But let's try, while we are in church for another hour and a half, to be, well, if not Christians, then at least just well-mannered people. Even if we cannot remain in love throughout our lives, we cannot stay in love all day without being irritated with anyone, not getting embittered, not reprimanding someone, not pushing someone, not turning over to our own, not persisting - but let's try, while we stand in church, for an hour and a half, to be as if we have already achieved this. Next time we come, we will try again, and so gradually from time to time we will practice this good deeds. Let us be angry, accursed, irritable, but let us pretend, for a while, that we really want the Kingdom of Heaven, we really want to learn to humble ourselves, to learn to love, so that the Lord, seeing us at least in church, would rejoice.

The Lord sees us everywhere, wherever we are, but in church, when we are all gathered together, the Lord is especially pleased that we are trying to do something at least outwardly. Let's imagine: a father has many daughters and sons. And of course, he knows that this one has a problem with his wife, that one has an illness, the third has a son who went to prison. But now all the children have gathered at their father's table, and he, of course, wants everyone to forget their worldly cares and rejoice in love: that at last we have all met together. He wants it to end not in a fight, not in a stabbing, not in a jostling, so that everyone does not get drunk to death, but so that everything is dignified, noble, so that they themselves are pleasant, and the neighbors rejoice, what a friendly family.

So today we have gathered for the feast of the Lord. We will all partake of the Divine Table at the banquet of our Heavenly Father. And we all descended from Adam and Eve, we all descended from Slavic tribes, all brothers and sisters, we all have the same blood in our veins, we all have the same faith, we all have an Orthodox cross on our chests, we all cross in the same way, each of us has at least one icon at home - that is, we have a lot in common. And our Father the Lord is one, and our Mother Church, who baptized us, who is trying to teach us something – you see how much we have in common.

And the Lord wants us to be truly like one friendly, loving family, because only in the Church, at the Divine Liturgy, can we learn love. After all, we commune from the same Chalice. It was only earlier, in the old days, that it happened in close-knit families: a large bowl was placed on the table, and everyone ate slowly, in order, each in turn partaking of it. From one - all. Such a wonderful image. And today the Chalice will be brought out, and everyone will partake of the same Bread and the same Chalice, again in an orderly and noble manner. But if in the old days someone did not climb in turn, what did the owner of the family do? He took a spoon and hit him on the forehead. Maybe this measure is harsh, but you can't teach otherwise, and once you get it in the forehead, a person is already learning.

Therefore, if we want to receive grace from today's service, then we must try to think about our lives, think about where we stand, to Whom we pray, and then gradually we will somehow come to our senses. Of course, the devil constantly tempts us: he himself tempts us through thoughts and through people. But we must try to hold on. The Lord looks at us and wants us to attain love, this longed-for Kingdom of Heaven. Amen.

Church of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross,

April 7, 1988

Sunday All-Night Vigil. Commemoration of the Monk Bessarion of Egypt

Today we read the Sunday Gospel of Mark. When the Lord appeared to the eleven disciples reclining at the supper, He began to reproach them for not believing those who had seen Him risen. Why couldn't they believe? The Lord indicated: because of hardness of heart.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." In what does this mercy consist, in what is this mercy of God poured out? In the fact that the Lord gives man the grace of the Holy Spirit, which cleanses him, saves him from sin. This salvation from sin is, in fact, pardon, because sin leads to spiritual death. And if a person is cleansed from sin by God Himself, then it means that he has been pardoned, or one can say saved, or he has been granted eternal life. An obstacle to receiving the grace of the Holy Spirit is hardness of heart, because a hard heart cannot receive the grace of the Holy Spirit. And a hard-hearted person, of course, cannot believe. This is absolutely impossible.

Today is the memory of St. Bessarion of Egypt. He was a believer, and you and I are believers, but our faith is different from his. For example, he could walk on water, he cast out demons, he worked many miracles. And why can't we work such miracles? If you compare our life and his, it becomes clear. From his youth, Vissarion was looking for the Kingdom of Heaven, looking for people who knew what it was. He found them in the Egyptian desert (he himself was an Egyptian by birth), studied with them, watched how they lived, and lived in the same way: he ate once a week, slept only sitting or standing, and performed many other feats. Often he fasted for forty days, and once he was seen standing at prayer for forty days and nights without sleep or food.

It seems to us that these are some kind of fairy tales, miracles - just as the apostles, when Mary Magdalene said that she had seen the risen Lord, began to doubt. The fact is that our heart has never experienced anything like this, we do not have such an experience, and there is no true trust either. Trust is a property of a child's soul, open, straightforward, and we have a cunning soul, twisted through and through, we lie not only to others, but even to ourselves, not to mention God. We are all trying to hide somewhere, to find some loopholes for ourselves, that is, we live dishonestly before God. Therefore, what gifts can we talk about when we are not able to live directly and purely before God? This, in fact, is where all our troubles come from. Of course, the Lord knows this and tries to correct our lives, tries to put us in certain circumstances in which our life path can be straightened.

People who aspire to God, like Bessarion of Egypt or Mary Magdalene, are few now, so the Lord does not reveal Himself to us in all its fullness. But the Lord is the same, and the faith is the same, and the grace is the same. The Church is filled with the same gifts as two thousand years ago, only we cannot assimilate this, it is difficult for us, because we do not have the most important thing - the desire to fulfill the will of God. We do not have a deep, wholeheartedly desire for the Kingdom of Heaven. The Lord said that only "those who hunger and thirst for righteousness" will be satisfied. Not just like that: well, it would be nice, but you need to wish with your whole life. But we, unfortunately, on the contrary, strongly desire sin, we want to deviate from God's commandments, we want only every kind of rest, comfort, and we do not want to work spiritually, bodily, spiritually – there is no desire for this grace-filled labor. Because if a person willed, he would do it, and if he does not want to, then he does not do it.