Question 349. What shall I do with the (sinful) slime in which I find myself, and with self-justification, for I am cruelly troubled?

Answer Barsanuphius. He who has mud on him can easily cleanse it, if he wishes; but he who is immersed in the mud is torn out of it with great difficulty; but to sink into the mud is worse than to have it on yourself. On self-justification: evil never destroys evil. Remember that self-justification does not justify a person, and calm down. About forgetfulness: there are two kinds of forgetfulness, and one is opposite to the other. He who has achieved that he forgets to bear his bread at the voice of his groaning (Psalm 101:5-6) is not overcome by the enemy's oblivion.

350. Petition of the same. Have compassion on me, and pluck me out of the belly of the lion that devoured me, and be merciful to my soul, as God was generous to it before, for power has been given unto you: if ye loose on earth, it shall be loosed in heaven (Matt. 18:18). Leave not my soul in hell, lest it die in sins, and speak to me a word according to my strength, that I may be a partaker of thy work.

Answer Barsanuphius. May the God of peace Himself sanctify you, who are all perfect in all things, and your spirit, soul, and body are perfect without blemish at the coming of the Lord... may it be preserved" (1 Thess. 5:23). What could I send you more comforting than this apostolic word? Try to acquire what I have written to you about, but I am more anxious than you, praying to God day and night, until you achieve this. Remember, brother, that I, as you know, gladly lay down my life for you and pray for you without ceasing.

Question 351, the other. The brother, being sent on the business of the dormitory, asked another Elder: "Is it necessary, when people who are disposed towards me to call me, to eat with women?" But the brother asked: "When someone calls me, why can I find out if a woman will participate in our meal, so as not to go to him?" If he says that there is, refuse, saying: 'Forgive me, I have a commandment not to eat food with a woman.'" The brother then asked: "If I happen to go into the house, and I enter without asking the above-mentioned question, and the host wants a woman to come to the meal, what should I do then?" therefore let me go, and I will go." If he commands a woman to depart from there, then stay; but if not, go away and do not break the commandment, lest death come upon you for disobedience, and do not be afraid: this will serve you not as a temptation, but as an edification.

Question 352 of the same. If I am sent to someone on business, without permission regarding food, and he compels me to eat it from him immediately; But when I say that I cannot, without permission from the abba, and he (the owner of the house) does not cease to argue and compel me, what shall I do?

John's answer. Since nothing good comes from a dispute, then, if there is no spiritual harm, accept his proposal, and when you return, tell the abba about it, asking his forgiveness, as one who has sinned. But when harm threatens, then, even if you argue a thousand times more, do not listen, for this is obviously the work of the devil.

Question 353 of the same. I was sent on business to the Holy City (Jerusalem) and (from there) went to pray on the Jordan, without asking permission from the abba: did I do well or not?

John's answer. He must not go anywhere without command; what we do according to our thoughts, although it seems good to us, is not pleasing to God; and in keeping the command of your abba who sent you, there is both prayer and pleasing to God, Who said: "I have come down from heaven, not that I may do My will, but the will of Him who sent Me the Father" (John 6:38).

Question 354 of the same. If, going somewhere far away, I forget to ask the abba where I should stay, what should I do?

John's answer. You must be attentive to everything that comes your way, and thus do every deed for your own spiritual benefit, but (considering yourself) as if you are violating a commandment, and not as if doing something good; and then the abba will be informed to forgive you.

Question 355 of the same. If the abba especially admonishes me not to do something, and I, as a man, violate it, what can I do?

John's answer. Repent to God and Abba and try to correct yourself first, and God will forgive you your sin.

Question 356. The brother who had been entrusted with the monastery gates, having labored alone, asked the Great Elder: should he take another brother to help him, or not?