Thou hast compelled me, most dear Nepotianus, after the book on virginity, which I had written to St. Eustochia in Rome, had already been stoned, and after ten years thou hast compelled me to open my mouth again in Bethlehem and to give myself up as a sacrifice to all tongues. It remained for me either to write nothing, so as not to be subjected to the judgment of men, which you prevented; or write and know that the arrows of all the evil-pagans are directed against me. I beseech them that they may calm down and cease to speak evil: I have not written to enemies, but to friends, I have not attacked those who sinned, but exhorted them not to sin. I was a strict judge not only of them, but of myself; Wishing to pluck the twig out of my neighbor's eye, I first plucked out my log. I have offended no one; No one's name is indicated, not even descriptively. No one in particular was touched by my speech. There was a general discussion about vices. Whoever wants to be angry with me, let him first confess that he is so.

To Eustochia. On the preservation of virginity

Hear, O daughter, and see, and incline thy ear, and forget thy people, and thy father's house, and the King shall desire thy kindness (Psalm 44:11-12). In the 44th Psalm, the Lord says to the human soul that, following the example of Abraham, it should come out of its land and from its kinship, and leave the Chaldeans, that is, as one can interpret, the demons, and dwell in the land of the living, for which the prophet sighs somewhere, saying: "I believe to see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living" (Psalm 26:13). But it is not enough for you to come out of your land, if you do not forget your people and your father's house, so that, despising the flesh, you may throw yourself into the arms of the Bridegroom. Do not look back, it is said, and do not stop anywhere in this vicinity; flee to the mountain, lest thou perish (Gen. 19:17). One should not take up the plough and look back, nor return home from the field, nor go down from the roof with Christ's tunic to take on other clothes. A great miracle: A father exhorts his daughter to forget her father. Your father is the devil; and ye will do the lusts of your father (John 8:44), it is said to the Jews. Whoever commits sin is of the devil (1 John 3:8), it is said in another place. Born of such a father, we are black, and before we have ascended to the summit of virtue, we say: Daughters of Jerusalem! I am black, but beautiful (Song of Songs 1:4). I left the house where I spent my childhood, I forgot my father, I am reborn in Christ. What do I get as a reward? This is this: "And the King will desire thy kindness" (Psalm 44:12). This is a great mystery. For his sake a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and both shall no longer be one flesh (Gen. 2:24), but one spirit. Thy Bridegroom is not arrogant, nor proud; He takes an Ethiopian woman to wife: as soon as you desire to hear the wisdom of the true Solomon and come to Him, He will reveal to you all that He knows, and the King will bring you into His palaces, and your color will miraculously change, so that it can be said of you: Who is this that ascends from the wilderness, leaning on his beloved? (Song of Songs 8:5).

I am writing this, my lady Eustochia (I must call the bride of my Lord mistress), so that you may know from the very beginning of your reading that I will not praise virginity, which you have recognized as the best and which you have followed, I will not count the burdens of marriage, I will not speak of how the womb grows fat, how the child cries, how the lover cries, how the household cares disturb you, and finally death stops everything, which seemed to be a blessing. Married women also have their dignity, an honorable marriage, and an undefiled bed, but you must understand that you, who come from Sodom, should fear the example of Lot's wife. There is no affectionate in my composition. A caresser is a flattering enemy.

Nor will you find here rhetorical hyperbole that would place you in the ranks of the Angels and throw the world at your feet. I do not want to inspire you with pride in your virginity, but fear. You are coming with a cargo of gold, you should avoid the bandits. Life here is a field of exploits for mortals; here we strive to be crowned there. No one walks safely among snakes and scorpions. My sword is drunk in heaven (Isaiah 34:5), says the Lord; Do you expect peace on the earth, which gives birth to thorns and thistles, which is devoured by the serpent? We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12). We are surrounded by great hordes of enemies; The whole world is full of enemies. The mortal flesh, which will soon be dust, alone is at war with many. When it is resolved and the prince of this world comes and finds no sin in it, then you will hear the soothing voice of the prophet: "Fear not the fear of the night, the arrow that flies in the days, the thing in the darkness that passes away, the gristle, and the demon of the noonday. A thousand shall fall from thy country, and darkness shall be at thy right hand, but shall not come nigh unto thee" (Psalm 90:5-7). But if you are troubled by the multitude of sins and you become agitated by some sinful desires and your thoughts say to you: "What shall I do?" then Elisha will answer you: "Do not be afraid, for those who are dreaming are greater than those who are with them, and he will pray and say: "Lord, open now the eyes of Thy maiden, that they may see" (2 Kings 6:16-17), and with open eyes you will see a chariot of fire, which will lift thee, like Elijah, to the stars; and then in ecstasy thou shalt sing: O our soul, as a bird hath delivered thyself from the snare of those who catch; the snare is broken, and we are delivered (Psalm 123:7). As long as we live in the whole perishable body, as long as we have treasure in poor vessels (2 Corinthians 4:7), and the flesh desires that which is contrary to the spirit, and the spirit desires that which is contrary to the flesh (Gal. 5:17), there is no sure victory. Your adversary the devil walketh about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 Pet. 5:8). Thou didst put darkness, says David, and there was a night, in which all the beasts of the oak grove would pass. Skimni, roaring, take away, and seek from God food for themselves (Psalm 103:20-21). The devil does not seek as his prey people who do not believe and those who are outside the Church and whose bodies the king of Assyria has lit in lamps; on the contrary, he attempts to rob the Church of Christ. His chosen food (Hab. 1:16). He wants to overthrow Job and, having devoured Judas, attempts to scatter the other apostles. The Saviour did not come to bring peace to earth, but a sword. Lucifer, rising in the morning, fell, and he who ate sweetness in paradise had to listen to the words: "Though thou soar high like an eagle, and make thy nest among the stars, I will cast thee down from thence also, saith the Lord" (Obadiah 1:4). For Lucifer said in his heart: "I will exalt my throne above the stars of God, and I will sit on the mountain in the assembly of the gods, at the end of the north; I will ascend to the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High (Isaiah 14:13-14). That is why God says daily to those who descend the ladder seen in Jacob's dream: I am God, and all are the sons of the Most High. But ye die as men, and fall as one of princes (Psalm 81:6-7). The devil fell first of all, and when God stands in the assembly of gods, and judges in the midst of the gods, then the Apostle will say to those who cease to be gods: If there is envy, contention, and dissension among you, are you not carnal? Do you not walk according to human [custom]? (1 Corinthians 3:3).

If the Apostle, a vessel chosen and prepared for the gospel of Christ, because of the thorn of the flesh and sinful desires, exhausts his body and enslaves him, so that he preaches to no others, he himself will be excluded; and yet he sees another law in his members, which is at war with the law of the mind and captivates it with the law of sin; if, after enduring nakedness, fasting, hunger, prison, scourging, torture, the Apostle, turning to himself, exclaims: "Poor man I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Romans 7:24) — do you consider yourself safe? Beware, please, that one day God will not say of you: "The virgin of Israel has fallen, she rises no more!" It is prostrate in its land, and there is no one to lift it up (Amos 5:2). I boldly say: God can do all things, but He cannot raise up a virgin after her fall. He can deliver her from punishment, but He will not crown her without chastity. Let us fear lest this prophecy be fulfilled in us also: "Good virgins shall fail" (Amos 8:13). Notice that the prophet says: "Good virgins will become poor," because there are virgins and evil ones. It is said: "Whosoever looketh upon a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt. 5:28). Thus, virginity also perishes as a result of thoughts. From this there are evil virgins, virgins in body, but not in spirit, foolish virgins, having no oil, for whom the bridal chamber will be closed.

If these virgins are not saved by bodily virginity from punishment for their guilt, then what will happen to those who have corrupted the members of Christ and turned the temple of the Holy Spirit into a harlot? It will be said to them, "Come down and sit on the dust, O virgin, daughter of Babylon; sit on the ground; there is no throne, O daughter of the Chaldeans, and henceforth they shall not call thee tender and luxurious. Take millstones, and grind flour; Take off your covering, pick up your hem, uncover your shins, cross the rivers. Your nakedness will be revealed, and even your shame will be seen. I will take vengeance, and spare no man (Isaiah 47:1-3). And so, after the marriage of the Son of God, after the kisses of the Brother and the Bridegroom, the one of whom it was once sung in the prophetic song: "The queen stands at Thy right hand, dressed in gilded garments" (Psalm 44:10), will be naked; her past will be laid before her face; she will sit by the waters of the wilderness, she will lay down the vessel, she will spread her feet to everyone who passes by, and even to the top of her head she will be defiled. It would be better for a man to enter into marriage and walk the straight path than to begin to climb the heights and fall into the depths of hell. I beseech thee, that faithful Zion may not be a harlot city, that the demons may not dance, that the sirens may not nest in the place of the dwelling place of the Holy Trinity. The union of the heart will be broken; but as soon as a desire touches a feeling, or the fire of voluptuousness showers us with pleasant warmth, let us cry out loudly: "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear that He will make me flesh" (Psalm 55:5). When the inner man begins to waver between virtues and vices, say: Are you sorrowful, O my soul? And dost thou trouble me? Trust in God, that we may trust Him for the salvation of my countenance, and my God (Psalm 41:12). Do not allow your thoughts to grow. Let nothing Babylonian reach youth in you, nothing that troubles you. Kill the enemy while he is young; let negligence be destroyed in the seed, so that tares may not grow. Listen to the Psalmist, who says: "O accursed daughter of Babylon, blessed is he who shall repay thee thy recompense, which thou hast repaid unto us." Blessed is he who has, and shall dash thy babes against a stone (Psalm 136:8-9). Since it is impossible that the innate inclination of the heart does not break into a person's feelings, he is boasted and called blessed who, at the first beginning of passionate thoughts, strikes them and breaks them against a stone. And the stone is Christ (1 Cor. 10:4).

Oh, how many times, already as a hermit and in the vast desert, burned by the rays of the sun and serving as a gloomy abode for monks, I imagined myself among the pleasures of Rome. I was in solitude because I was filled with sorrow. The emaciated limbs were covered with sackcloth and the contaminated skin resembled that of the Ethiopians. Every day there were tears, every day of lamentation, and when sleep threatened to overwhelm me during my struggle, I laid my bones on the bare ground, barely holding together at the joints. I am silent about food and drink, because even sick monks drink cold water, and it would be a luxury to have something boiled. And yet I, the one who, for the fear of hell, condemned myself to such imprisonment in the company of beasts and scorpions only, I was often in thought in the dance of the maidens. His face turned pale from fasting, and his mind boiled with passionate desires in his chilled body, and the fire of lust burned in a man who had died in his flesh beforehand. Deprived of all help, I fell down at the feet of Jesus, watered them with tears, wiped them with my hair, and tamed the hostile flesh with non-eating for whole weeks. I am not ashamed to convey the story of my miserable situation, on the contrary, I regret that I am no longer like that. I remember that I often cried out to God day and night, and no sooner had I ceased to beat my breast, when, at the voice of the Lord, silence fell. I was afraid even of my cell, as an accomplice in my thoughts. In anger and vexation with myself, I wandered alone in the deserts. Where I saw mountain caves, inconvenient cliffs, cliffs, there was a place for my prayer, there was a prison for my most accursed flesh; and the Lord is a witness — after many tears, after lifting up my eyes to heaven, I sometimes saw myself among the hosts of angels and in joyful ecstasy I sang: "We will run after thee" (Song of Songs 1:3).

If such temptations are endured by those who, having exhausted the body, are overwhelmed by thoughts alone, then what can be said about the virgin who enjoys pleasures? It remains to repeat the saying of the Apostle: "She died alive" (1 Tim. 5:6). Therefore, if I can give any advice, if my experience is trustworthy, then first of all I exhort and beseech that the bride of Christ will avoid wine as poison. This is the first weapon of demons against youth. Young people are not crushed by avarice, puffed up by pride, or amused by ambition. We easily shun other vices; but the enemy of which we speak lies within ourselves. Wherever we go, he is with us. Wine and youth are a double ignition for sensuality. Why add fuel to the fire? Why bring tinder to a flaming body? Paul says to Timothy: "From now on, drink not only water, but drink a little wine, for the sake of your stomach and your frequent infirmities" (1 Tim. 5:23). Note for what reasons it is permissible to drink wine: to heal stomach pains and frequent ailments through it. And in order that we should not misuse the pretext of illness, Paul commanded us to partake of a little wine, giving this advice more as a physician than as an apostle (for, as an apostle, he is a spiritual physician), fearing that Timothy, weakened by infirmity, would not be able to carry out the work of preaching the Gospel, and at the same time remembering that in another place he said: "Do not be drunk with wine, whereby there is debauchery" (Ephesians 5:11). 18) and: it is better not to eat meat, not to drink wine (Romans 14:21). Noah drank wine and drank. After the flood, in the age of simplicity, Noah perhaps did not yet know the intoxicating power of wine. And (so that you may understand that the Holy Scriptures are full of mysteries and the word of God is a precious stone found everywhere) drunkenness was followed by the baring of the loins, lust combined with licentiousness. First the womb is filled, then the other members are aroused. The people sat down to eat and drink, and then got up to play (Exodus 32:6). Lot, the friend of God, who was saved on the mountain, who turned out to be the only righteous man out of so many thousands of people, is brought into a state of intoxication by his daughters; And although they thought that the human race was ending, and they did it more out of the desire of childbearing than for the sake of lust, yet they knew that a righteous man would not have done this if he had not been in a state of drunkenness. At last he no longer knew what he was doing; and although the crime was committed involuntarily, nevertheless the criminal act is not alien to sin. It is from this that the Moabites and Ammonites lead their generation, who up to the fourth and tenth generation, and even forever, do not enter into the Church of God.

When Elijah was fleeing from Jezebel, and being weary, he was lying under an oak tree in the wilderness, an angel of the Lord came to him, stirred him up, and said to him, Arise, eat. And Elijah looked, and behold, at his head was a baked cake and a pitcher of water (3 Kings 19:5-6). Could it be that God could not send the prophet good wine, and excellent dishes, and broken meat? Elisha invited the sons of the prophets to dinner and, treating them to the herbs of the field, heard the unanimous cry of those who dined: "Death in the cauldron" (4 Kings 4:40). The man of God was not angry with those who cooked the food, because he was not accustomed to a more luxurious table, but, pouring flour into the pot, he sweetened the bitterness with the same spiritual power that Moses delighted Merah. And when Elisha led the messengers to seize him, blinded in equal eyes and mind, unconsciously into Samaria, then listen to what dishes he ordered them to be treated. Offer them, said the prophet, bread and water; let them eat and drink, and go to their lord (2 Kings 6:22). Daniel could have received a more luxurious table of royal dishes: but Habakkuk brought him a reaper's dinner, I think it was a village dinner. That is why Daniel is called a man of desires, because he did not eat the desired bread and did not drink the water of desire.

In the Holy Scriptures there are countless sayings condemning excess and approving simplicity in food. But since we do not intend to discuss the fasts, and it would be the business of a separate treatise and a separate book to consider this subject in full, what has been said is sufficient, a small of many. In addition to the above examples, you yourself may recall how the first man, serving the womb more than God, was cast down from paradise into this deplorable vale. And Satan tempted the Lord Himself in the wilderness with hunger. And the Apostle says: Food is for the belly, and the belly for food; but God will destroy both (1 Corinthians 6:13). He also says of gluttons that for them God is the belly (Phil. 3:19). For he who loves what he honors. For this reason, care must be taken that we, who have been expelled from paradise by intemperance, are returned there by fasting.

But if you object that you, who come from a noble family, who have always lived in pleasure and bliss, cannot give up wine and exquisite foods, and submit to the severe laws of abstinence, then I say to you: live according to your own law, if you do not want to live according to the law of God. God, the Creator and Master of the universe, does not need grumbling in the intestines and emptiness of the stomach and an inflamed state of the lungs; but without this, your chastity cannot be safe. Listen to what Job, who is dear to God and according to his own testimony blameless and righteous, says about the devil: "Strength is in his loins, and his strength is in the muscles of his belly." The generic members of a man and a woman are decently called by indirect names. Thus, the Lord promises to place him who comes from the loins of David on His throne. 75 souls descended from the loins of Jacob entered Egypt. When, as a result of the struggle with the Lord, he damaged the composition of Jacob's thigh (Gen. 32:25), Jacob ceased to bear children. Whoever intends to celebrate the Passover must celebrate it with his loins girded and mortified. God says to Job: "Gird up thy loins like a man" (Job 40:2). John girded himself with a leather girdle, and the apostles were commanded to hold the lamp of the gospel with their loins girded. To Jerusalem, sprinkled with blood and on the path of error, it is said in Ezekiel: "Thy navel has not been cut off" (Ezekiel 16:4). Thus, all the power of the devil against men lies in the loins; all his strength against women is in the navel.

Do you want to be convinced of the truth of my words? Pay attention to the examples. Samson, who was braver than a lion and harder than a stone, who alone unarmed pursued thousands of armed men, lost his strength in the arms of Delilah. David, chosen after the Lord's heart, who often sang the praises of the coming Holy Christ, after walking on the roof of his house, was captivated by the naked Bathsheba, then after adultery he committed murder. Note, by the way, that no one, even sitting at home, is safe from seduction through sight. For this reason David, repenting, says to the Lord: "To Thee alone have I sinned, and have done evil before Thee" (Psalm 50:6). For he was a king, fearing no one else. Solomon, through whose mouth wisdom itself spoke, who discussed everything from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop that came out of the wall, apostatized from the Lord, because he was a lover of women. And so that no one may rely on himself in relations with intimate relatives, let Amon, who was inflamed with a criminal passion for his sister Tamar, be brought to mind.