How does the very change in the heart take place? How does it make the incomprehensible transition from fear to love? — Let us give an answer from the holy experience of the saints of God. Our contemporary and compatriot, the adornment and glory of later monasticism, George, a hermit of the Zadonsk monastery, a man who attained Christian perfection, says about himself in a conversation of edifying trust to his neighbor: "I want to say a few words about the essence of love. It is the subtlest fire, surpassing all intellect and lighter than all intellect. The actions of this fire are swift and wondrous, they are sacred, and are poured out upon the soul by the Holy, Omnipresent Spirit. This fire will only touch the heart, and every thought and feeling of restlessness is instantly transformed into silence, into humility, into joy, into sweetness that surpasses all. I have been frank about many things about myself before you; I intend to be frank again. I have spent six years here in my solitude, I think, when the Lord has pleased to bring my heart to utter contrition. Then I thought that I had already disappeared and that the wrath of God would burn my lawless soul, despondent and careless... I fell into great exhaustion and could hardly breathe, but I constantly repeated in my heart: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." Suddenly, in an instant, all weakness fell away, and the fire of pure love touched my heart: I was completely filled with strength, feelings, pleasantness and inexplicable joy; I was so delighted that I already wished to be tortured, tormented, mocked; I wanted this in order to keep in myself the sweet fire of love for all. He is so strong and sweet that there is no sorrow or insult that he does not transform into sweetness. The more wood is added to the fire, the stronger the fire is: this is how the sorrows and sorrows inflicted by people affect us. The more attacks there are, the more the heart burns with holy love. And what freedom, what light! There are no words to explain: I would rejoice if someone were to deprive me of my eyes, so that I would not see the vain light; I would be glad if someone took me as a criminal and put me in the wall, so that I would not hear the voice, not see the shadow of a man..." [141] "Love," says St. Isaac of Syria, "knows no modesty, and therefore does not know how to give its members the appearance of decency. Love is inherent in the nature of rejecting modesty and forgetting one's own measures. Blessed is he who has found you, a haven of endless joy!" [142]

God's things come of their own accord at a time when we do not expect it or hope to receive it. But in order for God's favor to follow us, we need to purify ourselves first through repentance. In repentance all the commandments of God are combined. Through repentance, a Christian is led first into the fear of God, then into Divine love.

Let John, the virgin and theologian, the disciple whom Jesus loved, lie on the hands of Jesus. May the other Saints of God, the confidants of holy love, join him! This is not our place. Our place is in the host of lepers, the paralytic, the blind, the deaf, the dumb, the possessed. We belong to the number of them according to the condition of our souls, and among them we will approach our Saviour. Our Mother, the Holy Church, places us with them, putting into the mouths of her children the touching prayers of the akathist to the Most Holy Jesus, imbued with a sense of consciousness of their sinfulness. Our spiritual mother gives us our right position, so that the more certain it will be for us to receive mercy. The Lord adopted us as sons to Himself by Holy Baptism; but we have broken the holy covenant with Him by breaking His holy commandments, by a union of adultery with abominable sin. The princes of Sodom, the people of Gomorrah [144], this is how the Lord calls the people after their fall into iniquity, the people of whom He had previously declared: "There was a part of the Lord, Jacob his people, Israel is already His inheritance" [145].

The prodigal son, having lived in a foreign country of his father's property, having been subjected to unspeakable calamities, when he began to think about returning to his father, then, in this reflection, guided by his very miserable situation and the great wealth of his father, he predestined for himself the most prudent course of action. "Rising," he said, pondering his intention, "I go to my father, and I say to him, Father, forgive him! who have sinned in heaven and before Thee, and Thy Son is already worthy to be called: Make me as one of Thy hired servants [146]. The humility formed in his thoughts was actually realized by the son, and even more far away from him, his father saw him, and was merciful to him [147]. In the same way, having lost the beauty of adoption given to us by the Heavenly Father in vain and sinful occupations, when we decide to turn to Him, we must approach the Throne of His Glory and Majesty with deep humility, with reverent fear. Our first action should be the recognition and confession of our sins, the abandonment of a sinful life, and the entry into life according to the Gospel commandments. The soul of our prayers and other pious feats should be a sense of repentance. From the fullness of our conviction we must consider ourselves unworthy of love, unworthy of the name of the sons and daughters of God. Make me, saith the penitent prodigal son, as the only one of thy hired servants, who labor in the field of repentance, under the supervision of the formidable steward of fear. Let us not seek that the acquisition of which does not depend on us, for which we are not yet mature. As long as we are under authority, like the centurion mentioned in the Gospel, as long as sin and fallen spirits prevail over us, let us bear witness and confess with the prudent centurion: Lord, I am worthy, that Thou mayest enter under my roof: but only the word, and my servant shall be healed. Thou art most pure and most holy, resting only in the pure and holy; but I, who am defiled, am worthy, that thou mayest enter under my roof.

"I think," says St. Isaac, "just as a son does not doubt his father and does not ask him, saying: teach me art, or give me this and that, so a monk should not reason and ask God – give me this and that. He knows that God cares for us more than a father cares for his son. Consequently, we must humble ourselves, weep over the causes of our involuntary sins, committed by us either in thought or in deed, and from a contrite heart say in the words of the publican: God, be merciful to me, a sinner... [149] As the sick son of a king does not say to his father, "Make me king," but takes care of his infirmity, and after recovery the kingdom of his father becomes his kingdom of itself, so the repentant sinner, accepting the health of his soul, enters with the Father into the land of pure nature and reigns in the glory of his Father. Amen.

1844. St. Sergius Hermitage.

The Destinies of God

No blind chance! God governs the world, and everything that happens in heaven and under heaven is done according to the judgment of the all-wise and omnipotent God, incomprehensible in His wisdom and omnipotence, incomprehensible in His management.

God governs the world: let His rational creatures submit to Him, and let His servants contemplate reverently, let them praise in wonder and perplexity, which surpasses their understanding, His majestic rule!

God governs the world. Blind sinners do not see this government. They invented an incident alien to reason; they are not aware of the lack of correctness in their gaze, of the dullness of their gaze, of a darkened look, of a perverted look; {p. 73} they attribute to God's government a lack of correctness and meaning; they blaspheme the government of God, and they recognize the all-wise action and call it a foolish action.

The Lord our God, in all the land of His destiny [151], preaches the royal Prophet. The Lord's destinies are true, justified together [152]. There is nothing unfair about them! There is nothing unreasonable about them! they are justified by their consequences, by their spiritual fruits; they are justified by the perfection of their all-perfect Source.

Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem, praise thy God, O Zion. For strengthen the chains of Thy gates, bless Thy sons in Thee[153]. Only the Orthodox Church is capable of praising God with God-pleasing praise; Only its true sons, faithful to its bosom – its dogmatic and moral tradition – are capable of inheriting the blessing. God, declaring His word to Jacob, His justifications and destinies to Israel,[154] reveals the teaching of salvation to all members of the Orthodox Church; but the mystery of the truth of the Gospel and the mystery of His destinies reveals, as far as it can be comprehended, only to the chosen ones, who have been vouchsafed to see God in His providence and management with a pure mind. God did not do this to every tongue, and did not manifest His destiny to them [155].

The vision of God's destinies is a spiritual vision. By Divine grace, in due time, the mind of a Christian who strives correctly is raised to this vision [156]. The heart sympathizes with the spiritual vision of the mind with a spiritual holy sensation, with which it is drunk, as if with a sweet and fragrant drink, pouring into it nourishment, courage, and joy. I behold Thy destinies, O my Lord: Thy destinies are many. Their depth cannot be explored either by the human mind or by the angelic mind, just as our sensual eye cannot discern the vaults of heaven hidden behind its transparent, boundless blue.

The correct and exact fulfillment of the will of God is impossible without knowledge of the fate of God. What are the commandments of God? this is the will of God, declared by God to people for guidance in actions that depend on their arbitrariness. What are the destinies of God? these are actions or allowances of the will of God, on which the arbitrariness of man has no influence. It is obvious that in order for man to fully fulfill the will of God, it is necessary for man to stand in the right attitude both to God's commandments and to God's destinies. Keep the ways of the Lord, says the true servant of God, for all His destinies are before me, and His justification is not departed from me. Teach me Thy destinies, O my Lord. Let us worship Thee in righteousness of heart, when we learn the destinies of Thy righteousness [160].