The heterogeneous parts that make up my being—mind, heart, and body—are dissected, separated, act in discord, oppose one another; then they only act in a momentary agreement that is contrary to God, when they work for sin.

Such is my condition! It is the death of the soul during the life of the body. But I'm happy with my condition! I am pleased not because of humility, but because of my blindness, because of my hardness. The soul does not feel its mortification, just as the body, separated from the soul by death, does not feel it.

If I had felt my mortification, I would have remained in unceasing repentance! If I had felt my mortification, I would have cared about the resurrection!

I am all occupied with the cares of the world, little concerned with my spiritual distress! I severely condemn the slightest sins of my neighbors; he himself is filled with sin, blinded by it, turned into a pillar of salt, like Lot's wife, incapable of any spiritual movement.

I have not inherited repentance, because I do not yet see my sin. I do not see my sin, because I am still working for sin. He who enjoys sin, who allows himself to taste it even with thoughts and sympathy of the heart, cannot see his sin.

Only he can see his sin who has resolutely renounced all friendship with sin, who has stood on vigilant guard at the gates of his house with a drawn sword, the word of God, who repels and cuts sin with this sword, in whatever form it may approach it.

Whoever accomplishes a great deed, establishes enmity with sin, forcibly tearing away from it the mind, heart and body, God will grant him a great gift: the sight of his sin. {p. 116} Blessed is the soul that sees sin nestling within itself! blessed is the soul that beholds in itself the fall of the forefathers, the decrepitude of the old Adam! Such a vision of one's sin is a spiritual vision, a vision of the mind healed of blindness by Divine grace. With fasting and kneeling, the Holy Eastern Church teaches us to ask God for the sight of our sin.

Blessed is the soul that constantly learns in the Law of God! in him she can see the image and beauties of the New Man, and by them she can see and correct her shortcomings.

Blessed is the soul that has bought the village of repentance by mortifying itself in relation to sinful undertakings! In this village she will find the priceless treasure of salvation.

If you have acquired the village of repentance, give yourself into infantile weeping before God. Do not ask, if you can not ask, anything from God; surrender with self-denial to His will.

Understand, feel that you are a creature, and God is the Creator. Surrender unconsciously to the will of the Creator, bring Him only infantile weeping, bring Him a silent heart, ready to follow His will and be impressed by His will.

If, in your infancy, you cannot immerse yourself in prayerful silence and weeping before God, say a humble prayer before Him, a prayer for the forgiveness of sins and healing from sinful passions – these terrible moral ailments that are caused by voluntary sins repeated over a considerable period of time.

Blessed is the soul that has recognized itself as completely unworthy of God, that has condemned itself as accursed and sinful! it is on the path of salvation; there is no self-deception in it.

On the contrary, he who considers himself ready to receive grace, who considers himself worthy of God, expects and asks for His mysterious coming, says that he is ready to receive, hear and see the Lord, deceives himself, flatters himself, he has reached the high cliff of pride, from which he falls into the gloomy abyss of destruction. All those who are puffed up over God descend there, who dare shamelessly acknowledge themselves worthy of God, and out of this conceit and self-deception say to God: Say, O Lord, as Thy servant hears.