Diary, Vol. III. 1860-1861. Contemplative Theology. Grains from the Lord's table.

"Who is God?" asks Father John, and answers: "God is the One without Whom not a single speck of dust can exist and be conceivable," without Whom "nothing exists," since He is "in everything, through all and all." Throughout his diary notebook, Father John constantly returns to this theme: "God is such a Spiritual Being, from Whom everything and without Whom nothing is conceivable: in Whom is the beginning, continuation, life and preservation of everything, Who is infinitely above all time and space, Who never began and will never end... Which is all everywhere... — in a word. God is Himself, that is, as if He were one Being, one. Which is."

"One and all in every place is the Triune Master, glory to Thee from every creature!" writes Father John in a large order, emphasizing the idea of the Trinity of God, and asserts in conclusion that it is not given to man to understand this mystery: "God the Father is Life, God the Son is Life, God the Holy Spirit is Life is the Holy Trinity... God, worshipped in the Trinity, is in Himself."

Reflecting on the relationship between God and His creation, man. The priest writes: "With God, says the proverb, the dog is near... God is always at our right hand, wherever we are... As the All-Created and One One, the Lord knows everyone as Himself – all people's thoughts, desires, intentions, words and deeds, present, past and future." "The omnipresent things of God are spatial and mental," he writes, "that is, God is everywhere – in the spatial relation and everywhere – in the mental relation: wherever I go bodily or mentally, everywhere I will meet God, and everywhere the Lord will meet me."

We learn a lot about the spiritual quest of the Kronstadt pastor, about the depth of his search, his exactingness to himself, about the gains in this search for the comprehension of the truth. Father John carefully examines his experience of communion with God: "More than once you have felt within yourself the coming of the Holy Spirit, sudden, imperceptible, faster than lightning (electricity): your intestines were instantly permeated and enlivened by the light, reassuring fire of the Divinity, by His prenatural breath... By the Holy Spirit your heart was instantly set ablaze." This happens, in the words of Father John, invisibly, "for the Spirit of God is the pure negation of matter, the opposite of it completely..." "God is a mental, blissful Principle, purely spiritual. Therefore, in His actions on your soul, He appears as a mental Light, as the satisfaction and calming of all your spiritual powers, as Love, delighting the heart with ineffable sweetness... Nothing so sanctifies the name of God as mutual love: for God is love."

God is Truth, God is Life, God is Love, God is Christian Hope. Father John touches on these topics in his diary constantly. But, perhaps, he pays more attention here to the latter: God is the Christian Hope.

From the very first pages of the diary we find entries on this topic: "We must speak of our hope in Christ and in the eternal bliss promised to us by Christ..." "What is Christian hope? Father John asks. "Unity with God is the subject of hope... To trust in God is to entrust to Him your life, your destiny, your entire future, and to await with certainty the fulfillment of His promise. Hope comes from faith... Christian hope breathes prayer as air, is supported and strengthened by the life-giving Mysteries, by reading or hearing the word of God or by the writings of the Holy Fathers, by everyone's own good deeds... Whoever trusts in man has departed from God in his heart... Such people cannot even pray correctly... Only hope is in God, fears nothing."

The notes about the Christian hope were preceded by Father John's bitter reflections on the society of his time, which had departed far from God. The priest exclaims: "My God! How strongly sensuality has taken possession of all Christians! And from such a predominance of sensuality over spirit, look at the luxury in everything... Humanity has become an abyss, swallowing up everything and never being filled. With the natural striving of our spirit towards infinity and with its sensual direction, it has invented infinitely many different, previously unknown needs, and thus has limited its freedom to infinity. My god! I feel sorry for humanity! Even more pitiful than Christianity! Are these redeemed servants redeemed by Thy blood, O Lord Jesus Christ? The enemy has destroyed the hope of many Christians for future blessings and all the hope of man, and has tied his heart to sensual blessings."

Reflecting on God and man, saying that the hope of people is in Nog, Father John pays much attention in his diary to prayer as a way of communication between man and God. Father John reminds: "'Pray, that ye may not enter into misfortune,' says the Lord twice to His disciples before His very sufferings." Father John values prayer very highly, he seeks and finds an accurate expression of his thought: "Is it possible to pray without ceasing? "You can, as you can breathe incessantly. Prayer is the breath of life... Prayer is the elevation of the mind and heart to God, the contemplation of God, the daring conversation of the creature with the Creator... Prayer is the correction of life, the mother of heartfelt contrition and tears... Prayer is the safety of life, the destruction of mortal fear... the expectation of the universal Judge, the general resurrection... the unceasing search for mercy (mercy) from the Lord... the living water of the soul... bringing heaven down into the soul... Prayer is proof of my rational personality, my God-likeness. The pledge of my future deification and bliss. Prayer inspires me that I am the image of God... Prayer is a sign of my great dignity, with which the Creator has honored me."

"What should our prayer be? In church? At home? In any place? What does it be?" asks Father John and gives deep answers to these questions, advice, and teachings on how to pray:

"To learn to pray truly means to learn to be truly happy and blessed... When conversing with God, one must firmly remember Whom one is conversing with, and express extreme reverence with the posture of the body, and with the voice, and with the eyes, and above all, with the heart and thought. It is necessary to bring every word of the prayer to the heart... In prayer it is especially necessary to take care of the peace of the soul, for where there is peace, there is the Holy Spirit... It is necessary to stir up one's heart to prayer, otherwise it will fall asleep completely. Love for God, sincerity, simplicity – these are the properties of prayer... One must pray in the spirit, because God is Spirit, and not flesh; truly, and not flatteringly, because God is the Truth."

One must pray in spirit and in truth, Father John repeats this many times.

"Let prayer be a voluntary, free offering to the Lord, and not a reluctant and forced one... When praying, one must believe in the power of the words of the prayer in such a way as not to separate the words themselves from the very deed expressed by them... as with the Lord word and deed are inseparable..." "And since we have little faith," writes Father John, "that is why our prayers are powerless and fruitless."

Father John himself composed several prayers to the Lord and writes in his diary: "In order to deliver me from this terrible temptation, I myself composed a prayer to my Lord, that He grant me grace... I prayed it every day, and I do not cease to pray: and He hearkened to my prayer."

Father John shares his experience of prayer: "When I pray, I firmly believe that 1) God is one Who is Himself and therefore He is everywhere... and therefore at my right hand, (2) that I am His image... 3) that He is the abyss of goodness... and (4) that He Himself authorized me to pray to Him."