Determined to bring up their children only well, parents suddenly discover that their pedagogical system fails: the child grows up selfish, learning does not arouse any interest in him, he is constantly drawn to an empty pastime, he has difficulty developing relationships with friends. Parents begin to find out why this happens. And often, not being able to identify the real causes, they see the roots of the defects that bother them in bad heredity, in a bad teacher, in bad friends, and so on.

But in reality, everything turns out to be, as a rule, much more complicated. The actions and deeds of a growing person that are incomprehensible to parents are only a consequence of interrelated and influencing factors. The inherited and innate characteristics of the child's body, the constant, numerous and disordered influences of the natural and social environment, the directed educational influences on the growing person, and finally, the personality of the child himself, which can never be likened to soft clay, on which reality can write any kind of writing—all this, taken together, necessarily affects the way the child reflects the world around him, how he relates to it and why he has this and not other behavior.

Naturally, it is impossible to turn a blind eye to the effect of all factors. But it should always be borne in mind that the whole of the above-mentioned set of reasons, while preserving its essence, changes its face from child to child, since each has only his own inherent features of the organism and nervous system, his experience of activity and communication.

And this always makes it more interesting, but at the same time more difficult for parents and teachers to solve three interrelated tasks: finding out what a child is, why he is like this and what should be done with him to make him better. A certain and undoubted help in the implementation of all this everyday mandatory work in the organization of children's upbringing can be provided by the constant reliance of parents and teachers on psychology, which reveals the patterns and mechanisms of the formation of the child's cognitive sphere, his emotions, will, and attitude to various aspects of reality.

They say that those who have no ideas do not see the facts. Acquaintance with the knowledge brought together in a system, revealing the main manifestations of the human psyche, showing the changes that characterize their development, will help to more successfully manifest ourselves as a "natural psychologist" in the upbringing of children, and therefore to achieve the goals that we set for ourselves faster and better.

Therefore, in the book offered to the reader, in the creation of which, along with well-known specialists in developmental and educational psychology, in the sociology of the family and social psychology, in school and family psychotherapy, young psychologists took part, an attempt was made to give the most important psychological information on which a young family should rely when giving birth to children and organizing their upbringing at different ages.

Now it is clear to all those who are seriously thinking about ways to improve the education of the child's personality that a full-fledged psyche cannot be formed outside of a meaningful activity that involves overcoming difficulties, awakens creativity, arouses interest and ultimately brings success. This applies equally to play, to learning, to social work, and to productive labor. But at the same time, another thing is clear: one object-practical activity, even if it is very diverse, is not enough for the formation of a spiritually rich, comprehensively developed personality.

It is also necessary that the person involved in this or that activity is connected by multifaceted relationships with other people.

The real, spiritual wealth of a person, K. Marx emphasized, depends on the richness of his real relations.

Reading the book, you will notice that the theme of communication and relationships between people is most vividly spelled out in it. And this is natural, since it is extremely important for the development of the inner world, for the formation of the personality of a preschooler and a schoolchild. The book also declares itself very vividly and prominently in the book: personality is formed by personality. Yes, play, learning, work are important. Yes, of course, the most important factors that determine the forming core of the child's personality – his beliefs, needs and interests, his abilities and character – are the family, the kindergarten group, the school class, but the spiritual potential of the child's mother, father, and teacher still has a strong influence on what this personality will be.

A. A. Bodalev, full member of the Academy of Pedagogical Sciences of the USSR

Chapter 1. How to create a happy family

Love, its consolidation, is always the overcoming of difficulties, a struggle. And often this struggle is difficult. But in order to win, a person must believe in the possibility of victory. Those who go into battle, convinced that they have no chance, are doomed to defeat.

And what if it turns out to see the light, only to see each other, to look into each other's eyes, and be silent, and not be satisfied. And if it doesn't work out, let's go into the distant darkness and knock on the door of a quiet house, where the window shines. And the door will open, and so will we The owner will meet you so ordinarily, that the wisest eye cannot see, that he is invisible. And we'll gather around the fire... And it will come true, exactly: You travel into me, and I am in you and in the night... V. Levy