The most general characteristic of personal harmony is that a harmonious person tries to become what he is capable of becoming, in other words, this is a person who most fully reveals all his inherent inclinations and abilities. Already from this most general definition, the connection between the success of education and the harmony of the educator's spiritual world becomes clear. After all, the task of identifying all the inclinations and abilities of a child is the most important and basic task of proper upbringing. Apparently, it is easier for someone who tirelessly works on himself, identifying and developing his inherent qualities, to teach such work to his child. It is easier to go together towards a common goal.

Harmonious people are necessarily involved in some business, in an activity whose purpose is outside of themselves. They have overcome egocentrism, they count life events not from themselves, but from the cause they serve. They are devoted to this cause, it is something very valuable to them. Doing their work, actively involved in it, these people act in such a way that the separation between work and joy disappears for them. To work for them is to live, and to live is to enjoy life. And again, it is necessary to emphasize that such a person, joyfully and actively devoting himself to his favorite work, can quite naturally create an atmosphere of joy and optimism for the child, a feeling of fullness of life. By his mere presence, without edification and demands, by his full life, shared with the child, such a person, such a parent, easily fulfills the most basic rule of the hygiene of spiritual life – creates in the child a feeling of fullness, saturation, joy of being. And such an atmosphere is the best foundation for a correct, harmonious upbringing.

A harmonious, developed personality is also characterized by what values are recognized as the highest. An educator whose ideals are limited to even the most sophisticated and seemingly beautiful consumption is unlikely to be able to bring up a truly harmonious personality in his child. Consumption is always saturated, and only creation, creativity knows no boundaries, wrote A. N. Leontiev. An educator who bases his life on consumption in one way or another will never be able to make his contact with the child free, dialogical and creative.

A harmonious spiritual world of a person means the ability to fully and vividly experience, the ability to feel subtly and selflessly, unselfishly. But it is precisely the ability to feel, to experience, to emotional contact, to love that is the most necessary requirement for parents, the most necessary condition for proper upbringing. The ability to experience, to surrender to one's feelings exists along with the ability to recognize and respect the feelings and experiences of one's child, helps to understand the complex melody of various experiences of a growing person.

Harmoniously developed personalities are aware that life presents each of us with a task of choice. Every time a harmonious person chooses, he follows the path of personal growth. He is able to remove the habitual protective shackles that limit him, giving him an illusory sense of security. A harmonious person acts, develops, overcomes fear and anxiety.

Fear, anxiety for the child – what mother is not familiar with these feelings? But both everyday experience and numerous psychological studies show that a parent who is gripped by fears, who is in constant anxiety, is not only unable to establish the right contact with the child, but, moreover, can cause unfavorable emotional experiences in his child, distort the development of his personality. So it turns out again that the intrapersonal harmony of an adult, creative movement forward instead of anxious digressions determine the foundation, the foundations of the correct upbringing of a child.

Along with the ability to make a creative choice, the ability to take responsibility is characteristic of a harmonious spiritual world. This most important personal quality is also extremely necessary for the formation of the child's basic, basic emotional experiences, for the tempering of will and character. Psychological responsibility in the aspect of upbringing means a certain degree of self-confidence of the parent, the ability to follow the necessary rules, to fulfill his obligations to the child and other people. An irresponsible, often changing his decisions, constantly repenting of his actions, always doubting everything, a parent can either completely lose the respect and trust of his child, or completely disorient him and bring up in him a complete inability to make his own independent decisions.

A person who knows how to ask himself these questions, who is constantly looking for answers to them, can be a good educator, if only because he will be able to look at his child just as intently and attentively, to get to know his developing spiritual world, to set tasks for him to evaluate himself and others.

A harmonious person is able to be a truly loving person. The elder, who takes responsibility for the younger. The elder understands that he knows and can do more, but he firmly knows that the child is not something special, qualitatively different from himself and belonging to another world, he sees similarities rather than differences. A wise and loving educator tries to improve the younger one, tries to make him better than he is now, but not as he, the elder, is, but as he is, and in those unique opportunities in which the younger one can develop. And then it really becomes clear that for a harmoniously developed person, for a person with a creative spiritual world, there is nothing more natural than education. Just as he works on himself, helping self-disclosure, in the same way he helps the self-improvement and self-disclosure of his child.

Creative education also corresponds to a creative person, a harmonious person becomes a harmonious parent, and then the wise words of J. Korczak are easily and naturally embodied in his communication with the child: "An educator who does not fetter, but frees, does not break, but forms, does not suppress, but elevates, does not dictate, but teaches, does not demand, but asks, experiences many inspired moments with the child."

Chapter 2. Man is born

When evaluating any human activity, one usually proceeds from a certain optimum, ideal, norm. In educational activity, apparently, such an absolute norm does not exist. Indeed, is it possible to think that over the long years of raising a child, parents have never made a single mistake, absolutely accurately and correctly fulfilled all the requirements that are imposed on ensuring the growth and development of a child? Of course not. After all, we learn to be parents, just as we learn to be husbands and wives, as we learn the secrets of mastery and professionalism in any business.

Who can tell what the baby thinks? Who can trace those strands of the web, Along which the little man finds the way — In tears, blind and lonely — From the shores of the mysterious world To our world, to the earth, to the light of day? Unknown author. Cit. according to V. Drumman. 1910

These poetic lines formulate the main tasks that psychologists who study childhood see before them. Moms and dads ask themselves the same questions, peering into their baby: who is he? How will he grow up?