CHANGE THE CHILD'S BEHAVIOR

Missionaries are primarily motivated by a sincere desire to help others. Unselfishness is taught to a child by parents, they can also strengthen his egoism. When we help, we must be attentive, we do not set conditions, we just love. If parents help their children only when they are pleased with their behavior, this is help, but it does not speak of love. Looking at such parents, children understand that a person helps another person only when it is beneficial for him.

Often the behavior of the child does not suit the parents. To force a person to change, there is a fairly simple psychological technique: when you are satisfied with him, you encourage him (give positive reinforcement), when he does not please you, you punish him (give negative reinforcement); A kind of carrot and stick policy. However, this technique should be used very carefully in the upbringing of children. You can try it if the child stubbornly does not want to give up some bad habit. In other cases, you should not resort to it. Especially when it comes to help. By helping a child, only when he behaves well, you manipulate him. But you must set an example of selfless love and care for him. And then, perhaps, after some time, the child will correct himself.

"Is it beneficial for me?" – this is how a modern person approaches any business, any problem. It has nothing to do with the way to prove love, nor with Christianity. You want your children to grow up to be kind and generous. You want them to think about more than just themselves, so that they take care of the disadvantaged without expecting anything in return. And at the same time, you doubt whether this is possible in our calculating selfish society.

Yes, this is possible, although a lot depends on you. All the wonderful qualities that you want to bring up in children should be inherent in yourself. The child needs to see that you strive to help everyone around you, that you truly care about people. Only by your own example can you teach him to help others.

HOSPITALITY

Caring for others is most evident when you host guests. Hospitality is a wonderful quality, and if you have it, you are the owner of a treasure, because this is the only way to truly get to know a person and make a friend. If the doors of your home are always hospitably open, children will grow up to be hospitable, generous and friendly.

For some reason, nowadays people rarely invite friends to their homes. We prefer cafes, restaurants, clubs. We meet anywhere but at home. However, nothing can replace home warmth and comfort - there people open up more fully, and communication goes on a completely different level.

In the seventies, students were regular guests of the Chapman family. The doors of our house were not closed. Usually the guys came to us on Friday evenings. They studied at a nearby college. Sometimes, sixty people were crammed into the house. From eight to about ten in the evening, we talked, discussed passages from the Bible, talked about moral and social problems. Then there was a light snack, tea, and we just chatted. The guests dispersed to their homes after midnight.

Shelley and Derek, our children, were just toddlers in those years. They really liked to jostle among the guests. It happened that they started a conversation with one of the students with an intelligent look. Sometimes they sat quietly by the fireplace and listened. Sometimes we fell asleep on someone's lap. They made friends with many of them and always looked forward to Friday.

Students also came to us on Saturdays to do "good deeds," as they called it. We got into the wagon and drove through the surrounding streets. If any of the elderly neighbors needed help, we helped: we worked in the garden, removed leaves, did everything that was necessary. Shelley and Derek always went with us. They even had their own rake, although they liked to jump in a pile of dry leaves.

Our children have grown up and often remember those times. Shelly became a doctor. She says that she chose her future profession back then, as a child, talking to medical students. She and Derek are incredibly friendly and outgoing. It is said about Derek that in winter he invites the homeless to his place. (Who taught him this?) Our children grew up in a home where guests were always welcome, where they were taught to take care of others. We have always believed that this will greatly benefit them and help them in the future. And so it turned out.

You have to bring up in children the desire and willingness to help. Set yourself such a goal. No one but you will teach them this. Even kids need to be given small errands, they should have household chores. As children get older, so does their responsibility.

IF HELP IS THE PRIMARY WAY YOUR CHILD EXPRESSES LOVE