"When you make lunch or supper, do not call your friends, nor your brothers, nor your relatives, nor your rich neighbors, lest they also call you, and you will not receive recompense. But when you make a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed that they cannot repay you, for you will be rewarded in the resurrection of the righteous"[7].

Wonderful words! Do we not want our children to have compassion, serve and love their neighbors? Isn't that what we're aiming for? However, do not forget, a child is a child. He is childishly selfish, you should not expect selfless help from him. If he behaved well, he wants to receive a reward. It will take a long time before he learns to sacrifice his time and energy for the sake of others, without expecting anything in return.

BECOME AN EXAMPLE FOR CHILDREN

How to achieve this goal? First, make sure that your children feel your love and care—they should always be sure of that. Secondly, remember, you are an example for them. It is from you that they learn what it means to selflessly help others. You teach them to accept help with gratitude. However, remember that it is very difficult to feel gratitude when we are required to do so. When you pull the baby back: "Immediately say thank you to his father!", he will not feel any gratitude. The only thing he will understand is that help was imposed on him, and now they demand something in return. It is better to ask affectionately: "Will you thank Dad?" So, no orders, only requests.

The older the children become, the more clearly they realize how much their parents have done for them. Of course, they don't remember how you changed their diapers, fed them, walked with them, but watching other parents mess with their babies, they understand that you also took care of them. And when a child is confident in your love, he appreciates everything you do for him. He is grateful for a delicious lunch, for the fact that you read to him before going to bed, for teaching him to ride a bike, helping him do his homework, taking care of him when he is sick, comforting him when he feels bad, taking him to the movies, to the circus, buying him sweets and gifts.

Then the child will find out that you are helping not only him. Gradually, he himself learns to take care of the sick, learns to share with the poor. Most often, children like to participate in such projects, especially if they are waiting to meet new people. To find a person who needs help, you don't have to go far. There are disadvantaged people in any city. Your help is needed in orphanages, soup kitchens, hospitals and nursing homes. You can unite with the parishioners of your church, with other families. Choose one day per week. When parents and children work together for the benefit of others, the child learns to help others with joy.

Help is needed everywhere. I worked as a doctor in Bolivia for a year with the Christian missionary organization Wycliffe Bible Translators. We Campbells went there as a family. Once a little Indian was admitted to our hospital with a severe fracture. He was only three years old. The boy lay in a cast for a month and a half. The children of the missionaries diligently cared for him. The main surprise awaited me at Christmas. Our Carrie, then six years old, received a doll as a gift - and immediately gave it to the sister of the sick boy. And she dreamed of this doll so much.

CHANGE THE CHILD'S BEHAVIOR

Missionaries are primarily motivated by a sincere desire to help others. Unselfishness is taught to a child by parents, they can also strengthen his egoism. When we help, we must be attentive, we do not set conditions, we just love. If parents help their children only when they are pleased with their behavior, this is help, but it does not speak of love. Looking at such parents, children understand that a person helps another person only when it is beneficial for him.

Often the behavior of the child does not suit the parents. To force a person to change, there is a fairly simple psychological technique: when you are satisfied with him, you encourage him (give positive reinforcement), when he does not please you, you punish him (give negative reinforcement); A kind of carrot and stick policy. However, this technique should be used very carefully in the upbringing of children. You can try it if the child stubbornly does not want to give up some bad habit. In other cases, you should not resort to it. Especially when it comes to help. By helping a child, only when he behaves well, you manipulate him. But you must set an example of selfless love and care for him. And then, perhaps, after some time, the child will correct himself.

"Is it beneficial for me?" – this is how a modern person approaches any business, any problem. It has nothing to do with the way to prove love, nor with Christianity. You want your children to grow up to be kind and generous. You want them to think about more than just themselves, so that they take care of the disadvantaged without expecting anything in return. And at the same time, you doubt whether this is possible in our calculating selfish society.

Yes, this is possible, although a lot depends on you. All the wonderful qualities that you want to bring up in children should be inherent in yourself. The child needs to see that you strive to help everyone around you, that you truly care about people. Only by your own example can you teach him to help others.

HOSPITALITY

Caring for others is most evident when you host guests. Hospitality is a wonderful quality, and if you have it, you are the owner of a treasure, because this is the only way to truly get to know a person and make a friend. If the doors of your home are always hospitably open, children will grow up to be hospitable, generous and friendly.