"And you, Brenda?" "Has your schedule changed?"

"It has changed," she said. "For the last three years, I have worked part-time. This year I decided to switch to full-time work, so now I return home later. Ben is looked after by my parents. Grandpa picks him up from school and takes him to their home. After work, I go to pick up my son. If Dennis is late, we sometimes have dinner at my parents'.

Little by little, I began to understand what had happened to Ben. However, time was pressing, it was time to start the seminar. And I suggested:

— We will return to this conversation later. In the lesson, we will talk about the relationship between spouses. And you try to project the same principles on your relationship with your son. After the seminar, tell us what conclusion you came to.

Dennis and Brenda went to their seats, not hiding their disappointment: they were counting on advice.

The seminar ended in the evening, the people were gradually dispersing, and then I noticed my morning interlocutors. In a hurry to share their discovery, Dennis and Brenda made their way through the crowd towards me.

"Dr. Chapman!" Brenda was smiling. "I think we've figured out what's wrong with Ben. When you started talking about "love languages", it immediately became clear to us: his "mother tongue" is time. And we are so inattentive to him! For the last six months, both my husband and I have been busy only with ourselves.

I used to meet Ben every day after class. We walked home through the park, sometimes we went to a café for a snack. Then Ben would sit down to his homework, and I would do the housework. In the evening, if Dennis was late, my son and I would play. Now that I'm at work all day, everything has changed; I spend much less time with Ben.

"And I don't see my son much, either," Dennis added. "Last year we often went to football, on the way we talked about everything in the world; Ben told me about his studies, about his friends, and consulted with me. Now I sometimes even forget to ask him how things are going at school. And Ben needed these "men's conversations" of ours so much.

"I think you've really figured it out," I said. He doesn't feel your love. If you are able to satisfy this need, most likely, his behavior will change.

I told them a little about how to express love in the "language of time"; He advised me to make my schedule so that my son would not feel abandoned. Even the busiest person can always find an hour and go with the child to the park, to a café, just to talk. I could see that my new acquaintances were eager to put everything they had heard into practice.

"In fact," I added, "the causes of bad behavior are much more complex, there can be many more. And yet, if you talk to Ben in his native "love language", you will understand that it is very important to find a way to express your feelings to Ben, I think you will soon notice a change.

At this point, we parted. As time went on, Dennis and Brenda didn't write to me, and to be honest, I forgot about them. Two years later, I held a seminar in their city again. Before the start, they came up to me and reminded me of our long-ago conversation. We hugged and I was introduced to the friends that Dennis and Brenda had brought to the workshop.

"By the way," I asked, "how is Ben doing?"