What else can be the mental occupation of a monk in his cell if not weeping? Does weeping leave him the opportunity to turn to other thoughts? What other mental activity could be better than this? The very place of the monk's abode, his solitude, his dwelling, like living in the grave, alien to human joy, teaches him that weeping is his work. The very meaning of his name calls and induces him to weep; he is called lamenting, that is, filled with sorrow in his heart. All the saints departed from this life in weeping. If the saints wept, and their eyes were constantly filled with tears until their very transmigration from this life, then who should not weep? Consolation for a monk is born from his weeping. If the perfect and victorious wept here, how can the one who is full of wounds endure to cease from weeping? He who has his dead man lying before him and sees himself mortified by sins, does he need to be taught what kind of thoughts he should shed tears? Thy soul is mortified by sins, she who is dearer to thee than all the world is cast down dead before thee: does it not need to be mourned? If we enter into silence and remain in it with patience, then we can certainly remain in weeping. For this reason, let us pray unceasingly with our minds to the Lord, that He would grant us weeping. If this gift of grace is granted to us, the best and most excellent of all other gifts, then by means of it we will enter into purity. When we acquire purity, then this purity will not be taken away from us until our departure from this life" [1123]. Obviously, such weeping can be born only in one who has a clear understanding of the states of the fallen nature and the nature renewed by Baptism. Only he can weep bitterly and cry constantly who understands the value of the lost Gift. "Weeping for God," said St. John of the Ladder, "is a constant feeling of a sick heart, assimilated to it, with frenzy constantly seeking that which it craves, with intensity chasing after that which it lacks, and weeping mightily after it" [1124]. The suffering sensation of weeping should constitute the character of a repentant Christian. Abandonment of weeping is a sign of self-deception and error. Only Christ-imitating humility can calm the weeping one; love alone in Christ can comfort him, can wipe away his tears, can illuminate his face and heart with the light of heavenly joy. Sacrifices and burnt offerings from the fallen nature are not accepted; one sacrifice of this nature, pleasing to God: the spirit is broken[1125].

Just as the deviation from the state belonging to the renewed nature, and the descent into the state belonging to the fallen nature, is accomplished by means of the abandonment of the activity belonging to the renewed nature, in other words, from the abandonment of life according to the commandments of the Gospel, and by means of deviation into the activity belonging to the fallen nature, so, on the contrary, the return from the state belonging to the fallen nature to the state belonging to the renewed nature is accomplished by means of a resolute and complete rejection of activity according to the reason and will of fallen nature, through a resolute and complete acceptance of activity according to the teaching and testament of the God-man. At the same time, an inner struggle opens up in a person, because the life that preceded repentance by its own will and reason deprived a person of spiritual freedom, gave him over to sin and the devil. The penitent strives to act according to the Gospel commandments, but sin and the devil, having received the power arbitrarily transferred to them by their previous residence, try to keep the captive in captivity, in chains, in prison! The experiential cognition of captivity through the sensation of captivity and violence, the experiential cognition of spiritual death through the sensation of death, intensify and strengthen the weeping of the penitent. "This struggle," says St. Mark the Ascetic, "is internecine. It is not from outside, and we must not fight with our brethren. It is within us, and no man can help us in it. We have one helper: Christ mysteriously hidden in us by Baptism, invincible and unable to be suppressed (destroyed). He will strengthen us if we fulfill His commandments according to our strength" [1126]. Here the venerable ascetic does not reject the guidance of spiritual and experienced people, no! he advises without fail and carefully to resort to the advice of spiritual Fathers and brethren! [1127] Here he wants to show that our invisible triumph in the inner battle depends solely on the will and action of grace implanted in us by Baptism, acting in accordance with our will, manifested and proved by the fulfillment of the Gospel commandments, and in accordance with the incomprehensible will of God for man. For this reason, some, with abundant and constant human guidance, bear the most scanty fruit; others, having heard the briefest instruction, in a short time reveal rapid success by their spiritual gifts. "Know for certain," said St. Isaac of Syria, "that every good thing that works in you mentally and secretly was intercessed by Baptism and Faith, by which you were called by our Lord Jesus Christ for His good works" [1128], and not for the imaginary good deeds of your fallen nature.

The fate of God helps the penitent in this way, as the holy Prophet David said: "Thy fates will help me" [1129]. By God's providence, manifold sorrows are allowed to the penitent: for the Lord loves, says the Apostle, He chastens: but He smites every son, whom He receives[1130]. Enduring sorrows with thanksgiving to God, with acknowledging oneself worthy of sorrow, with acknowledging the sorrow allowed to be the very salvific medicine that we need for healing, is a sign of true repentance. "He who does not know the destinies of God," says the Monk Mark, "walks with his mind along the path that runs between the rapids, and is easily cast down by every wind. Whoever resists the sorrows that befall him, without knowing it, resists the command of God, but whoever accepts them with true reason, according to the Scriptures, endures the Lord [1131]. He who knows the truth does not resist sorrowful adventures: he knows that they lead a person to the fear of God. Former sins, being remembered in appearance, bring harm to the one who has good hope: if this remembrance arises in conjunction with sorrow, then hope is taken away by them; but if it arises without sorrow, then it renews the former defilement within. When the mind, through the renunciation of itself, by the simplicity (simplicity) of thought, acquires hope, then the enemy, under the pretext of confession, depicts (in memory) the sins previously committed, in order to renew the passions which the grace of God has blotted out by oblivion, in order thus imperceptibly to inflict harm on man. Then the firm mind, hating the passions, will of necessity be darkened, confused by the remembrance of the sins committed. If he is still dark and voluptuous, he will certainly linger in remembering and will passionately converse with the thoughts that come to him, so that such remembrance will become not a confession, but a mental renewal in himself of the sins previously committed [1132]. If you want to bring uncondemned confession to God, do not remember sinful inclinations in appearance, but courageously endure the sorrows brought about for them. Sorrows come (in retribution) for previous sins, bringing to every sin a corresponding (appropriate) retribution. The wise and truth-teller confesses to God not by the remembrance of the sins committed, but by the endurance of the sorrows that befall him. Having rejected suffering and dishonor, do not promise to bring repentance through other virtues; vanity and painlessness know how to serve sin even by means of right deeds" [1133]. "The way of God is an everyday cross. A person who is under the special Providence of God is known by the fact that sorrows are constantly sent to him by God" [1134]. The power of God is made perfect in the weakness [1135] of the fallen nature, when this nature is erased to dust by the Cross of Christ [1136]. On the contrary, fallen nature can develop only with the abundance of benefits provided by fallen human society: with learning, with wealth, with honors. Such are the foundations and at the same time the signs of the development of the fallen nature. In this development, the fallen nature accepts, like an apocalyptic woman, worship [1137] from blinded, unfortunate humanity, and enters into fornication with it when it renounces Christ and the Holy Spirit — perhaps without words of renunciation — in its essential renunciation, in activity, in life. After the renewal of our nature by the God-Man, the return of man to his fallen nature is adultery in relation to God.

The grace of Holy Baptism through repentance elevates the Christian to spiritual freedom, to the freedom that he already had when he came out of the font of Baptism. Thus, the patient, after intensive treatment, begins to feel in himself the freshness and the strength that he had before the illness, in a state of health. The initial cause of the renewal of strength is not medicines, but the life that the Creator has placed in human nature: medicines only helped the vital force to successfully fight the disease, to conquer and expel the disease, which is nothing but a disorder of the actions of the vital force. Repentance requires a more or less long time for various reasons, and especially according to the will of Divine Providence, which governs us. This can be seen from the biographies of many saints of God, who passed from the state of sinfulness to the state of holiness through repentance. The Nun Mary of Egypt told Blessed Zosima about herself, that she struggled with her thoughts and lusts, as with fierce beasts, for seventeen years [1138]. From our negligence about the preservation of the precious Gift given to us by Baptism, from our activity according to the lawless law of fallen nature, the power of sin creeps into us imperceptibly: imperceptibly we lose our spiritual freedom. The most difficult captivity remains invisible to many, it is recognized as the most satisfactory freedom.

One should not become disheartened and weakened by such a sight: one should devote oneself to repentance with courage and determination, as an all-powerful physician who has the command and authority from God to heal and heal all sins, no matter how great and numerous these sins may be, no matter how old and strengthened the habit of sins may be. Christ gave Himself to us and entered into us through Holy Baptism, then hid Himself in us, when we did not present our will, that He should dwell in us and govern us; Christ will certainly reveal Himself in us if we prove by true repentance that He should dwell in us. Behold, I stand at the door, saith He, and it is of no avail: If any man hear My voice, and open the doors, I will come in to him, and I will sup with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes, I will grant to sit with Me on My Throne, as I also conquered, and sat with My Father on His Throne [1139]. The voice of Christ is the Gospel.

The order in which a repentant sinner ascends to holiness through repentance is set forth by St. Macarius the Great as follows: "He who desires to approach the Lord and be vouchsafed eternal life, to become the house of God and to be worthy of the Holy Spirit, in order to be able to bear the fruits of the Spirit without blemish and purity, according to the commandments of the Lord, must begin in the following way: first, he must firmly believe in the Lord, wholly surrender himself to the words of His commandments, to renounce the world in all things, so that the mind is not occupied with any of the visible objects (the world), to remain steadfast in prayers, not to fall into despair (despondency, hopelessness) in anticipation (delay) of the Lord's visitation and help, — at all times to have the mind constantly directed to the Lord.

He must also compel himself to meekness, even though his heart resists it, according to what the Lord said: Learn from me, that I am meek and lowly in heart: and you will find rest for your souls (1140). In the same way, he must be merciful, forgiving, compassionate, good, forcing himself to do so, as the Lord said: Be merciful, as your Heavenly Father is merciful [1141]. And again: If ye love Me, keep My commandments [1142]. And again: Compel yourselves, because the needy (coercing, coercing themselves) delight in the Kingdom of Heaven [1143]. And: Strive through the strait gate [1144]. He must always have before his eyes the humility of the Lord, His life, His behavior, keep them constantly in memory, as if a model and example, not allowing them to be stolen by oblivion. He must, as much as he can, compel himself to abide unceasingly in prayer, constantly asking with constant faith that the Lord would come and make him His abode [1145], that He would instruct him in all His commandments, strengthen him in them, that his soul might become the house of Jesus Christ. When he acts in this way, forcing himself, in the face of the resistance of his heart, becoming accustomed to every good work, to the constant remembrance of the Lord, to the constant expectation of Him in much goodness and love, then the Lord, seeing such his disposition and such good care, how he always forces himself to the remembrance of the Lord and to every good work, to humility, meekness and love, as he bows down to the yoke (of Christ) his heart, which resists it, forcing his heart to do all that is good, then, I say, the Lord pours out His mercy upon him (at a certain time), delivers him from his enemies and from the sin that dwells in him, filling him with the Holy Spirit. In this way, without any labor or coercion on his part, he will truly fulfill the commandments of the Lord all and at all times. It would be more correct: the Lord Himself will fulfill His commandments in it and manifest spiritual fruits, and man will bear fruit in purity. But before that, everyone who comes to the Lord (as was said above) must force himself to do good, despite the resistance of the heart, in constant expectation with undoubted faith of God's mercy; one must force oneself in order to be merciful to all, in order to have a heart that loves mankind, in order to have humility before all, long-suffering towards all, not to grieve one's soul in exiles and dishonors, not to complain — according to what has been said: it is not one's own self-loving love to compel oneself to prayer, when one has not received its gift from the Holy Spirit. When God sees someone struggling in this way and forcibly forcing himself to do good, He gives him the true prayer of Christ, the womb of mercy, true love for mankind, in short: He gives him all spiritual fruits" [1146].

We see that many of the sinners, having repented, have attained the highest degree of Christian perfection. They have restored in themselves the Gift of Baptism not only to the extent to which it is given, but also to the extent to which it subsequently develops from living according to the Gospel commandments. Having acquired, having regained spiritual freedom, they did not stop there, they were not satisfied with it, they did not cease from repentance and weeping, which restored their freedom. The weakness and habituality of man, which they had learned from experience, his ability to change quickly [1147], constantly stirred them up to weeping. Do not know what the coming day will bring forth,[1148] they said daily to themselves through the mouth of the Scriptures; because of their purity, it was revealed to them that the commandment of the Lord was wide [1149]. Comparing their fulfillment of the commandment with the incomprehensibly vast commandment of the Lord, they recognized this fulfillment as completely insufficient. They called and recognized their fulfillment of the Gospel commandments as a desecration of the commandments [1150]. They washed away their virtues, as if they were sins, with streams of tears. Thus the blinded sinner never weeps for his most terrible sins, as the servants of Christ weep for their virtues. But heaven is unclean before Him (before God),[1151] that is, the pure holy Angels, as having limited purity, are unclean before the all-perfect purity of God, and holy men are also unclean before Him, whose life, though on earth, is also in heaven [1152]. That is why they weep, and when they bring repentance, they sink more and more into repentance. I know nothing about myself, said the holy Apostle Paul, but I am not justified by this: the Lord is my judge [1153]. In spite of his great spiritual gifts, in spite of the abundant grace of God that dwelt in the Apostle, he said: "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the first" (1154).

The development of the sacred, spiritual Gift conferred by Baptism is as immense as the Gift bestowed by God from His Divine nature [1155]; this development is as boundless and incomprehensible as God Himself, Who dwells in our hearts through Baptism, is immense and incomprehensible. This development embraces the whole being of the Christian. When we look closely at this development in the chosen vessels of God, then the depiction in the parables of the Gospel of the action in man produced by holy Baptism becomes quite clear. Like the Kingdom of Heaven, said the Saviour, is a grain of peas, when a man takes all the grain in his village, if there is the least of all the seeds: and when it grows, there is a tree more than (all) potions, and there is a tree, so that the birds of the air will come and soar on its branches [1156]. Likeness, Filled with Divine Humility [1157]. The Son of God humbled Himself, took the form of a servant, being in the likeness of a man, and was found in the likeness of a man [1158]. In this image He deigned to be numbered not among the strong, glorious and rich of the world, but among the host of the poor and suffering. His appearance is dishonorable, says the Prophet, belittled more than all the sons of men [1159]. His soul was given over to death, and He was reckoned with the wicked [1160], taking His place between the two thieves, as it were the chief and most dangerous of the criminals. He called His all-holy, life-giving, Divine commandments small [1161], according to the simplest, artless form in which they were proposed, adding, however, that the violation of one such commandment can be the cause of eternal calamity for the transgressor [1162]. In the same way, He likened the grace of Baptism to the smallest of the seeds of the earth. And indeed, what could be simpler and more ordinary, outwardly, than Holy Baptism? People usually wash themselves in water, immersing themselves in it — this commonly used action is associated with the Sacrament, in which both soul and body are washed from sinful impurity [1163]. The death and burial of a person are replaced by his instantaneous immersion in water. Imperceptibly to the eyes of the flesh, the Holy Spirit descends and recreates fallen man. The circumstances of temporal life remain for the baptized person, outwardly, the same as they were before Baptism. Outwardly, the Gift communicated by Baptism is so inconspicuous that it must be likened with all precision and justice to the smallest mustard seed [1164]. This gift is an immeasurable price. He grows, being developed by the fulfillment of the commandments: then in his greatness he will surpass all other gifts with which the generous hand of the Creator has abundantly endowed man, and will make him a temple of heavenly thoughts, sensations, revelations, and states peculiar only to the celestials.

Likewise, said the Saviour, the Kingdom of Heaven is leaven (in Russian translation: leaven), which the woman hid in three flours, until all was boiled [1165]. How humbly and how faithfully the spiritual Gift imparted by Holy Baptism is called leaven! Everyone who accepts Holy Baptism is unfaithful to Christ, is united with Christ, and therefore with all justice is called a woman. This woman hides, that is, preserves and grows the grace-filled Gift, through living according to the Gospel, in her mind, heart and body [1166], until the Gift penetrates, fills, and embraces the whole person. Do you want to see not only the soul, but also the human body, watered and imbued with the grace-filled Gift given at Baptism? Pay attention to Paul, whose garments worked miracles [1167], whom the bite of an echidna did not harm [1168]; behold Mary of Egypt, who rose from the earth in her prayer, who walked on the streams of the Jordan as on dry land, who made a thirty-day journey in one hour [1169]; look at Mark of Thrace, at whose voice the mountain rose from its foundations and moved into the sea [1170]; Look at Ioannicius the Great, who, like a spirit, was invisible by those whom he did not wish to be seen, although he was in their presence [1171]; behold the bodies of the saints of God, resting in sacred incorruptibility for many centuries, not submitting to the law of decay common to all mankind, exuding streams of healing, streams of fragrance, streams of life.

The Monk Sisos the Great, who especially abounded in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, said: "To him (man) in whom God dwelt by the grace of Holy Baptism and the fulfillment of the commandments, the (spiritual) Gifts are natural" [1172]. This was pronounced by the holy desert-dweller from his own experience. Is not the same thing attested to by the Holy Scriptures? Those who were baptized into Christ, it says, put on Christ [1173]. To those who are clothed in Christ, who have Christ in them, the gifts of the Spirit are natural: where Christ is, there is the Father and the Spirit.

7. On the Relation of the Renewed Nature to Evil