Should a man be chaste before marriage?

Hieromonk Job (Gumerov)  

Both the bride and the groom must preserve their virginity until marriage. The Holy Scriptures define fornication (carnal relations outside of marriage) as lewdness, equally forbidden to both women and men. Fornicators and prostitutes were not allowed among the people of God: "There shall not be a harlot among the daughters of Israel, nor a fornicator among the children of Israel" (Deuteronomy 23:17). In biblical times, the fornicator was compared to a dog: "You shall not bring the harlot's wages, nor the price of the dog, into the house of the Lord your God, for both are an abomination to the Lord your God" (Deuteronomy 23:18).

In the New Testament, fornication is named among those mortal sins that deprive a person of eternal life: "Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

The Biblical view of fornicators and prostitutes as morally impure was assimilated by the Holy Fathers. In determining the long-term punishment for fornication, the compilers of the canons do not distinguish between men and women. Guilt and punishment are equal. "A fornicator who lays the blame on a prostitute for inciting him to sin is condemned no less for this" (Basil the Great, St. Creations, Trinity-Sergius Lavra, 1901, Part 4, p. 147). According to the 59th canon of St. Basil the Great: "A fornicator shall not commune of the Holy Mysteries for seven years: let him weep for two years, let him listen for two, let him fall down and one year let him stand only with the faithful, in the eighth he shall be admitted to Holy Communion" (Rules of the Orthodox Church, Moscow, 2001, Vol. 2, p. 438).

There is one more peculiarity in the works of the Holy Fathers: they speak in detail about how dangerous fornication is for moral health. Like a powerful poison, it poisons the spiritual organism, defiles its entire composition: "Any slavery to sin is inglorious, for it dishonors the nobility of the soul; but the fornicator is the most inglorious slave of sin, for, condemned by him to rake out his impurities, he gathers heaps of impurities and corrects unclean work. Is it not abominable to walk around uncleanness, to rub oneself near shameful objects, to have a body that does not differ from rags? For what is the difference between rags and fornicators? It is torn away from the body of the Church, destroyed by daily decay – sinful pleasures, discarded like useless rags, lying under trampling under foot by all demons. On him the devil imprints his rottenness. The external position of the fornicator is no less bad than the internal state. From him they flee in houses, they turn away in assemblies; he is an insult to those who are close to him, an object of contempt to those who are hostile to him, a disgrace to his relatives; he is cursed by ministers, he is a sorrow to his parents, a laughing stock to his family, an object for laughter and conversation among neighbors; he is rejected when he tries to get married; After marriage, he is a suspicious spouse. Seeing the mother's fornication of so many evils, < Apostle> Paul commands a victorious flight: flee fornication (see: 1 Cor. 6: 18)" (Gregory of Nyssa, Svyatitel, Creations, Moscow, 1865, Part 7, p. 453).

What does it mean: and he compels you to go one mile with him, go with him two?

Hieromonk Job (Gumerov)  

Field is a distance equal to about 2 km (Roman mile). Most often this word is used in the Holy Bible as a metaphor for the path in the broadest sense. In this verse (Matt. 5:41) the order introduced by the Persian king Cyrus is used to build the image. In ancient times, there were special couriers who, in order to perform postal and transport services, could forcibly demand people and pack animals at stations (Herodotus. VIII, 98). The meaning of the commandment is clear: be willing and do more than you are forced.

What to do if the mother cursed her son and his entire family in anger?

Hieromonk Job (Gumerov)  

Curse is the deprivation of blessing and condemnation to disasters. This power belongs exclusively to God. However, even in the most ancient biblical times, the Lord gave a special spiritual authority to some righteous people to bless or curse. Such authority was held by the patriarchs, and then by the prophets.

The Lord gave parents a special spiritual and moral authority over their children. According to St. John Chrysostom, it is assumed by the very origin of children. "The power of parents over children has its origin in nature itself. Such an honor is to them the reward for the sickness of birth" (Eight Homilies on the Book of Genesis, Homily IV). The basis of this power is also the strict responsibility of parents for the upbringing of children. Their relationship should be modeled after our relationship with God. The goal of our spiritual life is to be worthy of that highest calling of which the holy Apostle Paul speaks: "Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then also an heir of God through Jesus Christ" (Gal. 4:7). We, the people of the New Testament, "have received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father!'" (Romans 8:15). The word "abba" in Aramaic corresponds to our "dad" – the confidential address of children to their father.

On this parental authority, correctly applied, the spiritual and moral education of children is based. Without this authority, parents cannot fulfill their responsibilities to their children. Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) in his sermon "On the Veneration of Parents" says: "There are many stories that confirm the real power of the power of parents over their children. There are many such examples when a parental blessing brought grace down on the souls of their children. And vice versa, the parental curse subjected disobedient children to terrible sufferings and torments. Blessed Augustine, Bishop of Hippo, relates an incident. Once, in one of the cities of his diocese, an entire family was subjected to such a curse. The mother of nine sons, an old woman, was once very upset by her eldest son, who not only verbally insulted her, but also dared to beat her. Insulted, upset by such an act of her eldest son, the mother grieved for her other sons: why did they not restrain him and help, did not protect her when he struck her? And in a fit of such indignation, anger, she indiscriminately cursed them all. And the judgment of God, the inevitable judgment, was accomplished. The eldest son was stricken with paralysis on the same day. His hands, and then all the limbs of his body, began to tremble. He was completely exhausted, he could not even walk. The same fate befell all the other sons within one year alone. So they, unable to endure shame, not tolerating disgrace from their fellow citizens, left this city and wandered somewhere throughout the Roman Empire. Here is a clear example, an obvious example, of how God's judgment is quickly carried out on impudent, disrespectful children. This example also convinces us that mothers also sin when they dare to pronounce such reckless curses on their children. And children who force their parents to such extreme actions – curses – sin doubly."