There is one more (main) reason for turning to fortune-tellers and sorcerers: a person's selfish attachment to earthly life and its pleasures, an unwillingness to live according to God's commandments and to bear for His sake at least a small labor of patience in the illness of the body for the salvation of one's immortal soul. The Lord Himself said: "What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" (Matt. 16:26). However, people often opt for quick and temporary relief. They turn to sorcerers and the deluded because "the gifts of the devil are cheap and easy to acquire."20

Indeed, the Church tells us that healing is necessarily the fruit of efforts, the fruit of a long work to correct oneself. The priest, as a rule, advises the patient himself and his relatives to resort to the sacrament of Repentance, fasting, prayer. He does not hide the fact that it is difficult. But the one who nevertheless decides to go to the "grandmother" does not want to work: he chooses a purely external action, without effort, without changing his heart disposition.

We should not be deceived by the fact that often the so-called "folk healers" use icons and candles. It is known that Satan himself is able to take the form of an angel of light (cf. 2 Cor. 11:14). Healers, on the other hand, often send those who come to them to church, even recommend that they be baptized, take communion, but at the same time they categorically forbid mentioning their "help" in confession. Can a person who does a good deed in the name of God advise him to lie in confession, to lie to God? The thing is that the devil gives his power to those who serve him. And what can be more pleasing to the devil than to mock the holy?

For our salvation, two forces are necessary: the good will of man himself and the grace-filled help of the Lord to everyone who turns to Him with trust. This help – Divine grace – is given only in the sacraments of the Church, the most important of which are Repentance and Communion. The Holy Fathers affirm – and this is again the experience of the entire Church – that the Lord Himself acts incomprehensibly in the sacraments, even if the priest for some reason in some way unworthily fulfills his ministry. Therefore, it is impossible to distance oneself from God and His Church of one's own free will, according to the word of the Lord: "I will build My Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it" (Matt. 16:18).

And finally: is it possible to get out of the state of delusion? There is only one – through sincere repentance and the acquisition of humility. A choice must be made. If there is faith and trust in God, He is able to heal any ailment.

It is very heavy on the soul. Recently I began to think about life, about the Lord, about my loved ones, about faith, but apparently it was too late... I read on the Internet that not every church can be attended. It got even worse... I am afraid of death in panic, I am afraid of dying in a non-Christian way, the only hope is that the Lord will have mercy. Tell me how to live?

It seems to me that your condition is largely caused by wrong ideas about the essence of our faith. You go to church, you try to pray – this is very good and necessary for every person. Let's try to figure out what led you to such despondency.

Yes, we are all sinful people, we sin constantly and hourly, and it was those people whom we now revere as saints who understood this best. "Keep your mind in hell and do not despair," is one of the main principles of the Christian life, formulated by St. Silouan the Athonite.21

Что же дает нам силы не отчаиваться? Мы, православные христиане, знаем, что милосердный Господь принимает наше чистосердечное исповедание в любое время и подает отпущение наших грехов в таинстве Исповеди. Прийти «поздно», как Вы пишете, невозможно: Господь с одинаковой любовью приемлет и первых, и последних — работников одиннадцатого часа, как говорится в евангельской притче (см.: Мф. 20, 1).

Кстати, часто ли Вы читаете Евангелие, без которого невозможно прийти к Богу, к вере? Сколько раз в Вашем письме звучит: «Мне страшно… Я боюсь»? Но прочитайте Евангелие и обратите внимание на то, как Господь обращается к Своим ученикам: Не бойтесь (Лк. 12, 4) — и к ищущим помощи Его: Не бойся, только веруй (Лк. 8, 50).

Есть еще очень важные вещи, о которых необходимо помнить, чтобы жить по-христиански. Нужно научиться верить Богу, в молитве вверяя Ему себя самих и наших близких. Вам особенно необходимо молиться о муже и дочери, но просить в молитве не того, что нам в данный момент кажется наилучшим, а просить Господа подать нам необходимое для нашего спасения, для жизни вечной. Нужно помнить и о том, что иногда приходят болезни и скорби и они тоже попущены Господом как средство для очищения нашей души, что они необходимы на пути к вечности. Нам, христианам, надо научиться принимать и переносить их с терпением и благодарением.

Начните регулярно бывать на богослужении в храме — любом храме Русской Православной Церкви, который ближе к Вашему дому или к которому расположено Ваше сердце. Регулярно приступайте к таинствам Исповеди и Причастия. Молитесь за богослужением, которое само по себе обладает удивительным действием: утешает скорбящих, вразумляет ищущих. Молитесь дома, откройте молитвослов, попытайтесь найти слова, необходимые Вам. Не отступайте и не отчаивайтесь: хранит Господь всех любящих Его (Пс. 144, 20).