Why, within the framework of our Orthodox religion, one of the signs of the salvation of the soul after death has a directly opposite characteristic in different countries? I mean that we revere the incorrupt relics of the saints as a clear indication of their pleasing to God, and, for example, on Athos they learn about the salvation of the soul by the color of the bones, which can be seen during the decay of the body.

The word "Athos" itself is translated as "silent". For monastics, silence is not so much silence in the usual sense of the word, as an expression of inner non-distraction, distance from vanity. There is a legend that the founder of the Great Lavra, Athanasius of Athos, in his prayers asked the Lord that no one living on the Holy Mountain would be worthy of bodily incorruption. This would have attracted a mass of pilgrims here to venerate the incorrupt relics and would have destroyed the solitude of Athos.

Therefore, what we have before us are not at all "opposite characteristics," as you write, but a sign of special spiritual humility. We find similar examples in the lives of several saints. The Monk Nilus of Sorsky commanded his disciples after his death to throw his body away to be devoured by wild beasts, without giving him any honors. Such humility can be considered the completion of the deep repentance brought by man, the full realization of his sinfulness.

Apparently, for this reason, on Mount Athos, by the will of God, the bodies of deceased monks decompose into bone remains. After the established time, the graves are opened. An undecayed body (which means not at all incorruptible, but half-decayed, not completely decayed) body is considered a testimony to the sinful life of a person, so a special prayer of absolution is read over it by the bishop.

What is your attitude to the canon "On the Unauthorized Death of the Dead"? Is it not too impertinent to read it? How can one pray for suicides?

The canon "On the Unauthorized Death of Those Who Died" was compiled by Metropolitan Veniamin (Fedchenkov). Even the private reading of this canon cannot be considered a general church practice, and Metropolitan Veniamin himself speaks of this in the explanation that accompanies the publication of the canon. He himself, on the advice of Elder Nectarios of Optina, made an attempt to pray for a suicide in the case when a mentally ill man committed suicide at the Sergius Metochion in Paris, where the future Metropolitan Veniamin was serving at that time. However, usually, when he was asked for a funeral service for suicides and a prayer for them, he refused: "... According to the canons – the rule of Timothy of Alexandria – and according to the inner resistance of my soul." Metropolitan Veniamin ends his explanation with the words: "And may the Lord have mercy on me for such boldness..."

It should also be remembered that Vladyka had the right to boldness in prayer: people who knew him considered him a great righteous man – materials were being prepared for his canonization. But for us, people who have not yet cleansed our hearts of passions, such boldness is impossible and can even be dangerous: there are cases when those who arbitrarily prayed for suicides contrary to the rules of the Church were subjected to severe temptations and even ended their lives in this way. Therefore, I would advise you to trust God and the Church in everything.

With the blessing of the spiritual father, one can read the prayer of St. Leo of Optina about the unbaptized, those who died without repentance, and suicides: it is found in many prayer books. It is no accident that it contains a request for forgiveness of the praying person: "Do not make this prayer a sin for me. But Thy holy will be done."

One can understand the grief of people whose loved ones ended their lives so terribly, and their desire to alleviate the fate of the soul of the deceased. They themselves need consolation and prayer. In such cases, the Church first of all advises us to give alms for suicides – this is the most ancient church custom: its essence is that a person who receives alms prays for those who give it, or for those in whose memory it is given. It is better if this alms are given as help to a really needy, lonely person.

What is the difference between self-reflection, self-criticism, and self-knowledge, sobriety?

St. John in his "Ladder" gives the following advice for beginners: not to be carried away by a subtle discernment of thoughts, that is, by an exaggeratedly thorough analysis of one's inner state and the movements of the soul. Such work requires great spiritual experience and, in the absence of proper spiritual guidance, confuses a person so that he loses any ability to act: he simply finds himself "buried" under the weight of what he himself has "dug up" in his own soul.