Ilarion (Alfeyev) /You are the Light of the World/ Library Golden-Ship.ru Hegumen Hilarion (Alfeyev) You are the Light of the World Ed. Golden -Ship .ru 2011 Orthodox Library Golden Ship From the publishing house The main part of the collection consists of conversations delivered by the author, a famous theologian and patrologist, in the Moscow church of the Holy Great Martyr Catherine in the Fields.

- St. Macarius of Egypt, when guests came to him, broke the fast and offered to eat everything he had. Did he do the right thing? - Hospitality is more important than fasting. If we impose the burden of fasting on ourselves, then we do it for our spiritual development, for our spiritual perfection. But we should not impose the burden of fasting on other people, especially those who need hospitality.

If a believer comes to us, about whom we know that he is fasting, it is natural that then we prepare an appropriate meal for him and for ourselves. But if someone comes who does not fast, or a person who needs to be fed with something more substantial than, say, potatoes or cabbage, then, probably, there will be no sin in breaking the fast.

- What about the "swallowed anger", which then, after fasting, breaks out even stronger? - "Swallowed anger" is only the first stage when we learn not to let our anger spill out. This must be followed by a second stage, when a person begins to work on his heart and puts not only his outward behavior, but also his inner movements, before the judgment of the Gospel.

If anger comes to your heart, think of Christ, who was nailed to the cross and prayed for his tormentors. Remember the saints in whose lives something incomparably more terrible and tragic happened than what happens to us, but they accepted it with humility and love. Remember John Chrysostom, who was deposed from the archbishop's throne, exiled, beaten by guards, and reached the extreme state of exhaustion from hunger.

When he was dying, abandoned and betrayed by everyone, he said: "Thank God for everything." There are many similar examples. We need to remember them at the moment when we are ready to burst out in anger over some trivial matter - when, for example, we are served insufficiently heated soup, or someone is late for a meeting with us, or we are presented with a poorly drafted document to sign. One more point.

It often happens that irritation arises for one reason, and is poured out on some person for a completely different reason. For example, you missed the bus, the doors slammed in front of your nose, then a passing car threw mud at you. And when you come to work, it is easiest to pour out the accumulated anger on your colleagues. After all, the bus and the car are gone, that is, the objects that caused your anger are no longer there, and the employee is nearby.

But the car has left, and the man remains, and with him you can enter into a long, sometimes, perhaps, many years war over a trifle. No external factors should dominate us enough to cause anger or irritation. - How to separate a person from his action? - As the father did in the parable of the prodigal son. The son acted disgustingly, but his father continued to love him.

- How to learn not to be angry with children? - It must be remembered that children are defenseless, but external impressions accumulate in them. How many times does it happen that a child endures until a certain age, and then suddenly explodes, and everything that has accumulated over the past years grows into active resistance to parents. Sometimes it ends in a break with parents, sometimes there is estrangement between parents and children.

In general, the child should be treated subtly and delicately. It seems to me that you can tell a child everything, you can talk to him directly about his shortcomings, you can give him lessons that will be remembered for a lifetime. But education should not be based on anger: any word spoken in a state of irritation loses its meaning and has the opposite effect. Even if what you say is correct in substance, it may be wrong in form.

И ребенок этого существа уже никогда не запомнит, а запомнит только, что на него была излита какая-то порция гнева. - Как научиться сдерживаться, не выплескивать свои эмоции? - Всякое слово, как хорошее вино, должно отстояться и приобрести зрелость. Чаще всего мы раскаиваемся в тех своих словах, которые выпалили как первую реакцию на что-то.

Кто-то нас обидел - и мы в ответ грубим. А надо было бы, прежде, чем говорить грубые слова, взвесить все на весах рассудка, на весах правды, на весах соответствия наших действий евангельскому учению. И, если после этого у нас еще остается что-то сказать человеку, мы можем это ему сказать, но по-дружески, мягко, так, что человек нас услышит, но не обидится.

В течение Великого поста мы призваны следить за собой, не давать своим эмоциям выплескиваться в тот момент, когда они появились, давать возможность чувствам отстояться. И если мы научимся реагировать на внешние раздражители взвешенно, спокойно, значит мы поднялись выше хотя бы на одну ступеньку той лестницы, которая ведет в Царство Небесное.

О ДУХОВНОЙ ЖИЗНИ Те, кому приходится много путешествовать, хорошо знают, что успех каждого путешествия в значительной степени зависит от того, какими путеводителями человек обзавелся и насколько внимательно их прочел. Отправляясь в незнакомую страну, человек должен получить хотя бы самую основную информацию о том, какие в этой стране достопримечательности и какие могут подстерегать опасности.

Точно так же происходит в духовной жизни. Духовная жизнь - это путь к Богу, и, чтобы нам идти по этому пути успешно, мы должны пользоваться путеводителями. Таких путеводителей очень много. Это прежде всего творения Святых Отцов - тех людей, которые за много веков до нас шли тем же путем, каким сегодня пытаемся идти мы. Обращаться к их писаниям важно именно потому, что они достигли цели пути - тех духовных высот, к которым и мы стремимся в меру своих возможностей.