Letter 517

If the measure of change of clothing has benefited you, then leave it to God's providence, which cares for you, and notice the intrigue of the enemy who resists it. I do not wish to inflict your grief on your mother by forcibly and obstinately separating you from her; but to part from the world according to your desire, by this measure I thought to make the beginning; although living in the world, yet not to belong to him in any way, and not to give hope of communion with him. Your mother is sick and grieves for you, but I do not know what consolation to give her. I do not advise you to leave it, but I am afraid to give advice to cling to the world, so as not to sin before God, for your disorder and betrayal of His calling. I leave all this to God's providence: as He pleases, so let Him do. God is able to give your mother consolation, but let her seek it from the Creator, and not from the creature; many examples could be found, but I consider them superfluous. May the Lord Himself enlighten her heart and console her with His incorruptible consolation. The lack of your present dress can be made up for in abundance by your former dress, sold for a price. Calico is not an expensive material, but satisfied with a decent cover for your body; do not worry about adorning it, but try to adorn your soul. What will happen next is not in our power and providence. Surrender to the will of God and be calm. I. M. June 25, 1842.

Letter 518

I don't know where you are now? As far as I can see, you have lost nothing by leaving you to adorn yourself with finery, but although it is embarrassing against the world, this deprivation compensates for the consolation of the soul and peace of conscience. Your present sorrows are training and preparation for monastic sorrows; and those who are first tempted by them, the easier it will be afterwards; and those who were not visited by them at the beginning, the afterwards will be the abandonment, which we see on K.'s mother: her sorrows weigh her down greatly, and she does not see consolation, and at the beginning she did not see them; I have a letter from her dated August 24. However, God measures our strength and knows the time – when, to whom to send what, in order to arrange salvation, but she stands in his way: for through many tribulations it behooves us to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven (Acts 14:22). You ask me about the treatment of yourself; I cannot hinder you; those who are not cured have only the measure of faith, and not praise; but whoever is treated with the hope of God's help, and not of medicine and a healer, does not sin. Dreams have nothing to believe; if your dream is also attributed to the fact that there is a change of clothes, then this can serve to confirm in it; but all beware of the enemy's stooge, from which may the Lord deliver you by His mercy. I. M. September 8, 1842.

Letter 519

Do not demand that I am slowly writing to your letter of September 26; you know many of my occupations, and to them is added laziness, the co-educator of my poor order. You write about your ill health and your intention to be treated; I will tell you, may the Lord bless it, and give strength to medicines and help for healing. However, we must not necessarily desire this or that stubbornly, but, if we wish, we must commit it to the will of God. Maybe He is looking for a sacrifice of patience from us, which will be pleasing to Him. We do not know the hidden fate of God's providence, which works for our salvation. He who has acquired firm faith in God can say with David: "The cattle are with thee, and I will bear with thee" (Psalm 72:22): read about this in St. Peter of Damascus in the first book on the acquisition of faith. Should we not give thanks to God that your brother has such a compassionate concern for you, both for the use and for the arrangement of all of you for the future? Likewise, about entering the monastery; when the hour of God's will comes, He will arrange everything for profit, if only our will be true; therefore it is now tempted by nasty obstacles. After all, there, too, one must bear the temptation that you now see on K.'s mother; Any good deed will either be preceded or followed by temptation: at first it was not difficult for her to enter the monastery, and for a long time she calmed down from grace; but now it is permitted to have the temptation of sorrow, for through many sorrows it behooves us to enter into the Kingdom of God. After the temptation, God now comforted T. Una, sent them a special and calm cell. I. M. October 31, 1842.

Letter 520