After thirty, it is no longer easy to choose a path in life. And the more years a person has behind him, the more difficulties he experiences. It is easier for a young person to adapt to the chosen life - be it marriage or monasticism. After all, an adult measures and feels everything by means of common sense. It has an already formed character, like a cast concrete structure - it is not easy to change. Look: people who enter the path of family or monastic life at a young age preserve the simplicity of a child until their very old age. I knew a couple who got married young. The wife was like her husband in everything - in the manner of speaking, in her actions. Since they married young, one of the spouses adopted all the habits of the other: both in speech and in the manner of behavior. But it was also easier for them to get used to each other [than those who marry late].

"Either marry in your youth, or cut your hair when young," says the proverb. It is especially important for a girl to make a decision about choosing a life path before she turns twenty-five years old. After twenty-five, it is no longer so easy to get married or go to a monastery, because the girl begins to think that she will obey someone else's will. The older a girl becomes, the more whims and whims she has. And who needs it? And if the years are lost, then she wants to get married not in order to create a family, but, mainly, to be under someone's protection, guardianship.

It has been noticed that if a young man or a girl constantly postpones his or her marriage "for later", then, after the years have passed, he or she is looking for a partner and does not find one. In their youth, they chose themselves, but now the years have passed, and they are now chosen by others. That's why I say that sometimes a little extravagance is necessary in creating a family. We need to turn a blind eye to some insignificant trifles, because there is no such thing that everything is as we want. Once it began to rain, and water ran along the bed of a mountain river. There were two people standing on the shore, they had to cross to the opposite side. One was very smart, and the other was a fool. "The rain will stop," the wise man began to think, "the water will subside, and after that I will be able to cross to the other side." And the fool did not wait - he jumped into the water and waded across the river. Of course, his clothes got wet, but he was able to get where he wanted. And the rain, instead of stopping, poured down harder and harder. The stream became turbulent and full-flowing. And in the end, the smart one remained standing on his bank - because it was already dangerous to cross the river.

Some people have great pride, selfishness, and therefore God does not help them. Some children come to Athos from year to year, come to me in the kaliva and ask: "What does God want from me, father?" They did not become monks, nor did they create a family. You might think that they are golden, and they are afraid that they will be used in some reinforced concrete structure, like a simple piece of iron! And there are those who ask me: "Geronda, what should I do: become a monk or get married? Tell me, what is my calling?" - "And what do you want yourself?" - I asked. "And get married," they answered, "and become a monk." That is, they want both! But if I tell them my thoughts that, for example, their vocation is family life and they get married, and family life will not be to their liking, then they will come to me and express their complaints: "It was you who told me to choose this path, and now I am suffering!"

– Geronda, how can this happen?

– Well, let's assume that the vocation of a young man is family life, but he also thinks about monasticism. If, after getting married, he is inattentive and does not create a good family, and he has problems that he will not solve spiritually, then the evil one will raise a battle of thoughts against him. "Your vocation was in monasticism," the enemy will say to him. "But since you're married, that's what you want." That is, the enemy will not leave such a person alone day or night.

And some themselves do not know what they want. A few years ago, a girl came here and started saying to me, "Geronda, I can't decide which path in life I should take. I want to get married, but I'm also thinking about becoming a monk. What shall I do?" - "Take a closer look," I answered her, "at which path is more to your liking, and choose it." "I don't know," she said. - Sometimes it seems to me that I am more inclined towards marriage. I beg you, Geronda, you better tell me yourself what to do." "Well," I advised her, "since you see that you are more inclined to marry, you had better get married, and God will arrange your life." "With your blessing, Geronda," she answered me, "I will do so." And today she came again. "Geronda," she said, "and I got married. For a sailor. A good man, thank God, I can't say anything. But I'm terribly worried. And isn't it torment: we live together for six months, apart for six months. As soon as he goes on a voyage, he is not seen for six months." "Blessed soul! - I answered her. "Didn't you tell me that family and monastic life are after your heart?" Well, here you are: now you have both. Why don't you praise God for arranging your life in this way?"