51. From the works of St. Gregory the Theologian. Ed. 3. Part 2. P.74.

When and under what conditions does repentance lead to the desired goal – the healing of our spiritual wounds and the complete cleansing of the soul?

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First of all, repentance should be completely free, and not forced by time and custom or by a confessing person. Otherwise, it will not be repentance: "Repent," it is said, "for the kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matt. 4:17). It has approached, that is, it has come by itself, you do not need to look for a long time, it is looking for you and your free disposition.

Further, repentance must be unconditionally sincere, without any guile or self-justification.

Let us fear the petrified insensibility of our sins, let us fear the pride of our hearts, which says: "I do not need the forgiveness of sins, I am not guilty, I am not a sinner," or: "My sins are light, human," as if it were necessary that there should be demonic sins; or, "It is not bad for me to live in my sins." This is satanic pride.

Let us feel deeply, with all our hearts, our innumerable iniquities, let us sigh for them from the depths of our souls, let us shed tears of tenderness for them, and propitiate the angry Lord. Let us not justify ourselves in the least, like the hypocrite Pharisees, for no one living will be justified before God (Psalm 142:2). Only by sincere repentance of sins can we propitiate God. Let us abandon indifference and coldness, let us serve the Lord with a burning spirit.

Thus, repentance should be accompanied by contrition of heart and weeping over sins. Tears of repentance are necessary for everyone, and without them there is no salvation. A certain holy man, passing by the cemetery with his disciples, and seeing a widow shedding tears with wailing and sobbing over the grave of her husband, said to his disciples: "As this widow is killed at the grave, so we must grieve for our soul, which we have slain with our sins and buried in a strange land of the world and the lusts of the flesh."

With all his heart grieving for his sins and shedding tears of repentance, the penitent must make a sincere vow to God to break the ties that bind him to sin and to correct his life. The penitent must hate sin with all his soul, burn with an inner desire to resist its temptations, destroy in himself resistance to God and kindle the desire to fulfill His commandments, in a word, make an inner revolution, break his will.

"For it is not simply abstinence from evil," says St. Macarius, is purification, but the destruction of it from conscience is a complete purification. Enter, whoever you are, through your thoughts to your soul, a prisoner of war and a slave of sin, and examine your thoughts to the bottom, and examine the depth of your thoughts, and you will see in the depths of your soul a crawling and nesting serpent, killing you, poisoning your soul piece by piece. For the immeasurable abyss is the heart; but if you kill this serpent, boast before God of your purity."

The feat of repentance must also be accompanied by prayer with hope in Jesus Christ, and prayer will sustain us. When, because of your depravity and the power of sin over your soul, despondency takes possession of you and, God forbid, despair in God's mercy, say from the depths of your soul together with Metaphrastus: "I know, my Lord, that my iniquities have surpassed my head, but the abundance of Thy mercies is immeasurable, and the mercy of Thy grace is unspeakable, and there is no sin that can overcome Thy love for mankind. Astonish then, O Most Wonderful King, gentle Lord, Thy mercy upon me, a sinner, shew the power of Thy goodness and show the strength of Thy timely mercy, and receive me, a sinner who turns to Thee. I trust in Thee, O my God! If there is any hope of salvation for me, if Thy love for mankind without number exceeds the multitude of my iniquities, be thou my Saviour, and by Thy mercies and mercies weaken me, forsake me all that I have sinned against Thee, for my soul is filled with a multitude of evils, and there is no hope of salvation in me."

You are a sinner, you are constantly falling. Learn to get up, take care to find this wisdom. This wisdom consists in this: learn by heart the psalm "Have mercy on me, O God, according to the command of Thy mercy," inspired by the Holy Spirit in the King and Prophet David, and read it with sincere faith and hope. After your sincere repentance, expressed in the words of King David, the forgiveness of sins will immediately shine upon you from the Lord, and you will feel the peace of your spiritual strength.

Having prepared himself in a worthy way, having recognized and mourned his sins, having felt within himself the determination to correct his life, a Christian must confess his sins before a priest. Confession, of course, is necessary for the purification of the soul. You will endure the difficulty and painful burning of the operation, but you will be healthy. This means that at confession one must openly reveal all one's shameful deeds to the confessor, even though it is painful, and ashamed, and shameful, and humiliating. Otherwise, the wound will remain unhealed and will hurt, and ache, and undermine spiritual health, will remain leaven for other spiritual illnesses or sinful habits and passions.

Priest is a spiritual physician; show him your wounds without shame, sincerely, frankly, with filial credulity. After all, the spiritual father is your spiritual father, who must love you more than your own father and mother, for Christ's love is higher than carnal, natural love, he must answer to God for you. Why has our life become so impure, full of passions and sinful habits? Because so many people hide their spiritual wounds or ulcers, from which they are both painful and irritated, and it is impossible to heal them in any way.