Part 2

117. God's teaching is this: "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who do you harm" (328) The saints do so, as God commands. We will at least see what we are, we will humble ourselves and struggle with our passions, we will force ourselves to do good. One should not be embarrassed by such compulsion. The Holy Fathers write that at first compulsion is required, and then humility gradually appears, a person acquires grace and sincerely does good. 118. Standing before the Chalice of Communion, keep in mind what great Mystery you are approaching: "The Divine Fire sanctifies the worthy, and burns the unworthy" (350) It is wrong to think that we can be worthy of Communion in the full sense of the word. Whoever approaches the Holy Chalice with such a thought communes to his own condemnation. This is a sign of extreme pride, when a person thinks that he has already become on a par with God Himself, that he deserves Communion, that he almost does honor to God. Of course, no one speaks about this aloud, but sometimes he thinks to himself: "Here I am, I have read, read all the canons, all the prayers, fasted for a week, and now, purified and worthy, I am approaching the Holy Mysteries." This is a fairly common experience. People of this type, when they accidentally forget to read a line in a prayer or eat a piece of fish three days before Communion absent-mindedly, consider themselves unworthy of this sacrament. In fact, none of us is worthy of Communion. We become worthy when we approach the Holy Mysteries in humility, when we see our distance from God. From Communion we expect spiritual blessings, we hope to unite with God, to correct ourselves and to be purified. Of course, it is necessary to fulfill the rules established by the Church as much as possible, without them it is impossible to organize spiritual life; Self-willed rejection of them is a manifestation of pride. But do not flatter yourself. Even if you read ten, even a hundred canons, no matter how you "preen yourself" - you will not gain dignity through this. We approach God through humility. He who approaches the holy thing without reconciliation also partakes of the Holy Communion unworthily. A clear indication of our rejection of the Lord is when we are in a quarrel with someone, when in our hearts we rebel against someone, accuse someone, condemn someone. At such times, our indignant spirits make us enemies of God. 119. And in my life everything did not go according to my wishes. The intention was to live on Mount Athos - no, God did not bring it. I wanted to live with Fr. Paisius, with such a great elder, but no, and this did not happen. I should have been in China, and I had already submitted a petition - no, I had to be in St. Petersburg, a cell-attendant to the Metropolitan. I did not want to be a hierodeacon either, - how I asked for leave! He did not have time in this either. Then God brought me here. And how many times he refused the archimandrite! It is frightening even to think of going against the will of God. (414) By the way, the elder worked with great benefit in St. Petersburg. Together with the outstanding ascetic of piety, Metropolitan Gabriel of St. Petersburg, they restored monasteries. Theophan of Novoyezersk had many acquaintances among the great ascetics, he pointed them out to the metropolitan, who appointed them abbots of abandoned monasteries, and these monasteries began to flourish. And this is how man rejected his generally good desires before God. Out of humility he did not want to accept the priesthood, did not want high positions, but God nevertheless led him along this path, and he humbled his good will before God. And we don't really have a good will, we at least humble our evil will before God. In this regard, I recall the statement of Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh about the humility of a clergyman. He spoke of how absurd it would have been for the donkey on which the Savior rode into Jerusalem to think that it was clothes spread under its feet and flowers were thrown. In the same way, a priest should think about himself, understanding that he does not deserve the place he occupies. 120. Christ the Son of God was obedient to the Father even unto death: such is the obedience! And not that I have suffered enough, for I lack more strength. Of course, it is not enough, if you do not ask God. (416) If we do not humble ourselves before God, then there will be no strength left at all. God takes away strength in order to humble us. It is embarrassing to pronounce such words that I hear from many people: they treat me unfairly, but I am tired, but I do not have this and that... The Holy Fathers never said anything like that. Self-pity rejects us from God. 121. What we use here as well, and we are unworthy of it. (266) When the demons suggest that someone has not honored us, that someone has neglected us, that someone has not given us what is due, we must remember that we are not entitled to anything. To judge fairly, we have already deserved eternal torment. Therefore, we must thank God that He spares us, waits for our repentance. Of course, if a person thinks that the Lord owes him something, that he himself, without God's help, has achieved, for example, a high position in society, created a good family, became a world champion, etc., there can be no question of gratitude. Man praises himself. Only a person who is aware of his weakness, his unworthiness before Him can sincerely thank God. 122. We ask the Lord: Do not deprive me of Thy heavenly blessings. He says: I am ready, learn from Me, that I am meek and humble in heart, be patient, be obedient, and you will receive the Kingdom of Heaven. (419) If we want God not to deprive us of His blessings, we must obey His commandments. We must learn from God, and not something beyond our strength, but to be meek and humble in heart. If this fails, how much more must we repent, and God in His mercy will not abandon us. For us, the cruel and proud, it is possible to become meek and humble only through voluntary podvigs or through the uncomplaining endurance of sorrows. There is no other way to make an unplaned board smooth than to cut it. In the same way, the Lord, in order for us to be worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven, scolds us. If we resist this, we will perish. We will die through our own fault. 123. When someone quarrels and a sister from the outside reminds or warns us, one must accept her words as from God, and not in such a way as to say, "What do you care?" You interfere in other people's affairs! (450) Often, for the sake of our passions, we distort the commandments of God, the instructions of the Holy Fathers. We often expect that our words should be perceived by others as spoken according to the will of God. In truth, we ourselves should try to be silent more, and if there is no special will of God for this, then we should not say anything to anyone. But when we are told, then we accept it with humility as the word of God. 124. In the monasteries in former times, those who guarded were considered benefactors. (450) It is evidently not a question of time. Pious people, seeking salvation, even now consider those who denounce them as benefactors. And vice versa, those who are looking for sweet and pleasant things in this life do not like those who make remarks to them. 125. There is no need to argue, there is no need to defend that I am not guilty. (452) That is, one should not justify oneself either to oneself or to people. At the same time, the Fathers teach that if someone else is hurt, if I am not the only one who is wronged, then in order for the innocent not to suffer, you need to say everything as it is. And if it concerns me alone, there is no need to argue. 126. In worldly life, there one justifies oneself, there one is proud; but here they humble themselves; this is a spiritual life, in every way contrary to worldly life... There is no need to justify oneself: there will be many words; And to say briefly: forgive me, I have sinned! That's how it ends. (452,453) People who seek salvation accept everything as from the hand of God. And people who do not care about their salvation, do not want and do not tolerate what God sends them, resist. Humility is much wiser in everyday life. When we are guilty of something, when we have been exposed, it is better to immediately admit our guilt than to try to justify ourselves. But there are different troubles. Some are sent to us by God, and others we arrange for ourselves. It is one thing when God, in order to cleanse me of passions, sends sorrows and illnesses that I must endure complacently, it is another thing if, say, I myself got angry with someone, quarreled with someone, insulted someone and thereby made an enemy for myself. Here I am to blame myself and must repent of those evil deeds because of which trouble haunts me. 127. "Learn from me, that I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls" (Matt. 11:29). There is no nearest and surest path to salvation than the path of humility. (462) Many Holy Fathers write that the path to rest is very simple, but we usually choose not it, but our own evil paths. It seems to us that we will acquire some things - and stop worrying, change our place of work - and calm down, people around us will become better - and we will have peace in our souls. All these are false expectations. The only way to peace of heart is to become like Christ in meekness and humility. The spiritual structure of modern man is such that the feats of the ancient ascetics are beyond his strength. We do not have enough will, patience, health for this, and if we do, then we are let down by frivolity - we too easily succumb to empty demonic deceptions. But although not all people are capable of feats, all are capable of getting sick and enduring misfortunes. And God sends them to us, all that remains is to voluntarily accept them. This will be counted for us instead of a feat. In addition, generosity eases burdens, it also encourages God to strengthen us in bearing sorrows, to send us spiritual consolations. 128. Even now there are miracle-workers, here they are: humble, patient, and meek, who drive away the enemy's pretenses, who observe purity of soul and body; they will not want miracles. (323) When a man becomes worthy to receive some lofty gifts from God, he usually finds that he himself does not desire it at all. From the Otechnik we learn about how the saints treated the gifts of God that they possessed. As, for example, Pimen the Great resurrected the dead and was grieved. This is the correct, Christian attitude to gifts. And once a sick boy was brought to Pimen the Great, but they knew that the elder would humbly refuse to heal him. Pimen was overwhelmed with love, and this love gave him the strength to heal, but there was no vanity in him, and he, realizing that God could heal without him, wanted to withdraw. Then Pimen had to be deceived. The elders began to bless the boy in turn, then they said to Pimen: "Bless you too." He began to refuse. They persuade: "It's inconvenient - we blessed everything, you bless it too." Pimen blessed - and the boy was immediately healed. 129. One sister wanted to leave the convent in order to calm the others and to calm herself down. (328) This is Satan's thought under the guise of good: they don't love me, I'm a burden to them. Satan inspires such falsely good thoughts: if people are annoyed with me, I will leave so that it will be quiet and calm. Demons infect us with this hypocrisy. There is no need to listen to these thoughts. The Holy Fathers are unanimous in their opinion that we must leave those places where we stand on the verge of falling, where mortal sins threaten us. Not from where people sin, but from where we are tempted and we feel that we may not be able to resist. You have to flee from such places. And if we are in a place where we observe irritation in ourselves, we must humble ourselves, learn patience, reproach ourselves, but do not leave this place. To seek a place where nothing would irritate us, where everything would be pleasant for us, is to seek our own destruction. One young man came to the elder and said: "Father, I prayed to God that the passions would leave me, and now I feel peace in my soul." "Madman," the elder answered, "go and pray that your passions may return to you! As long as they were in you, you humbled yourself." And he went, prayed, and the salvific, humbling actions of the passions returned to him. If the passions are silenced in us, we can imagine ourselves almost saints. But how will this "holiness" end? The Last Judgment will come, everything will be revealed as it is, and it will be too late to correct it. That is why we do not need to flee from temptations, we need them, through them we come to know our weakness, humble ourselves and gain the possibility of repentance and salvation. 130. Whoever worthily receives the Body of Christ, the Son of God, is higher than a miracle-worker. (323) If we partake of Communion with complete humility, with full hope in God's mercy, with full awareness of our unworthiness, but with a desire to unite with Christ, we will receive a much greater benefit than we would receive from miracles, even our own.

Love

Without love we will not see God * Passionate love is displeasing to the Lord * Love that deprives us of freedom is sinful * It is not our neighbors who are obliged to love us, but we who love them * Whether we love God becomes clear in suffering * Worldly attachments are our weakness * To hate in order to love * It is possible to betray God in thought * How to love relatives * If we are at enmity with each other, we are called Christians in vain * We are not forcibly driven to the Kingdom of Heaven * A kind word from an evil heart * Those who are at war do not have the right to take communion * Hatred is equal to murder * Others can be taught by those who are called to do so by God * Do not multiply sins by idle talk * 131. Without God's love, without peace with our neighbors, we will not be vouchsafed to see God. (7) Just as gangrene occurs on an arm or a leg, so dislike for one's neighbor is gangrene of our soul. If we are not cured of this disease with God's help, we will be cut off from the eternal Body of the Church. 132. "Whosoever cometh unto Me, and hates not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren and sisters, and also his own soul, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26). From your letter it is evident that you are very fond of your sister; this is not in accordance with the teaching of Christ our Saviour. (85) Fervent human love does not agree with the teaching of the Saviour. And it is clear why. It is said in the Old Testament, and Christ confirmed this commandment: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy mind, with all thy soul." With all my heart. And if our heart is given to people, then we are clearly violating the first commandment of God. 133. Love her [your sister] and be freer from your love, so that you do not prefer her to the love of God. Human love brings little benefit to our souls; but love for God fulfills everything, and is an eternal gain. (85) Love should make a person free. If love deprives you of freedom, then this is already sinful love. It is not said: do not love. Love, but do not be enslaved to human love. Human love should not block God from us. If we love a person as the image of God, then we come to know God even more, our love for Him increases. And if our attachment to a person, to a deed, or to a thing distracts us from God, then such attachment is sinful. True love for one's neighbor appears when we fulfill the first commandment, then only we can truly fulfill the second: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 134. Love God above all else, and do not seek human love; when we love God with all our heart and soul, then we will love one another; and without God's love, human love will be in vain. (347) Whether we love God is not determined when He sends us consolation, but when there are no such consolations. And this is true in human relations. When a husband never ceases to please his wife - how can you not love him? It's quite another thing when he lies paralyzed and at the same time scolds. It is here that the measure of our love is revealed. Hope for human relationships, for all earthly attachments, is a false hope. Worldly people are bound together by many ties, by many feelings. But it's one thing to have these feelings, it's another thing to count on them, to see them as the support of your life. In essence, worldly attachments are our weakness. It is necessary to come to terms with it. But to give oneself entirely to these feelings, to consider them as some kind of dignity, and even more so to be exalted by them, means to sin, instead of salvific humility to acquire destructive pride. 135. We should not think whether they love us or not; or better to think that she is not worthy to be loved. Love everyone yourself, because we are not told to be loved, but we are commanded to love everyone. (192) We have been given the commandment, "Love the Lord God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself." It is said: love! And we, through our cunning, distort this commandment and substitute in its place another, self-willed one: "All must love one another." But it is one thing to think that I should love all my neighbors, and another thing is that everyone should love each other. It follows that everyone should love me. We are very concerned about who treats us. When someone does not love us, we are not only offended or angry, we also condemn the person. But the commandment of love is addressed to each person personally, so that he, without demanding love for himself, would love another himself. It is not us who are obliged to love, but we are obliged to love our neighbors, and the Lord God will judge other people for how they treat us. 136. If your heart is unyielding to the love of those who are hostile to us, then pray: "Lord! Soften the hardness, the cruelty, and the hardness of my heart." (194) If we don't love our neighbors, we need to know that it's about ourselves. If we had a loving heart, we would love everyone, we could not help loving. If we do not love someone, it means that our heart is actually empty, and our so-called love is passionate attachment. Our natural, God-given feeling of love has been defiled by the fall of Adam and Eve, poisoned by pride. This is how we inherit it at birth. As long as we are more fond of people who praise us, who console us, and not those who insult and offend us, our love remains a carnal, passionate feeling. We should not take our human attachments (even good, even natural) to husbands, wives, and friends for the spiritual love that is spoken of in God's commandment. 137. Those who have no concern for worldly life and do not cling to love any person stand closer to the throne of God. (340) Not to have any earthly attachments is the measure of great ascetics. But it should be an ideal for us. The soul of every person is the bride of Christ, and God demands faithfulness from every soul, so that we do not cling to anything or anyone except God. Love for one's neighbor does not mean passionate love, but sacrificial love, in the likeness of Christ's love. And we must become completely attached to God. "Hate completely, that you may love perfectly. Move away completely, in order to come completely closer" - these are the words of St. Barsanuphius the Great. Only by completely hating sin can one truly love God and one's neighbor. Only by withdrawing from the passions can one truly draw near to God. 138. Instead of God, we turn with love to temporal things; we leave God, and cling to creation, we occupy our thoughts with vain things. (495) According to the commandment, we must love God, our heart must be given to God, but we betray it because we are heartily attached to various created things. It happens, we get attached to people, it happens, to some objects, to some activities. One should not think that betrayal of God is only something crudely bodily, when a person, for example, robs, fornicates, drinks vodka. The Elder writes: "We occupy our thoughts with vain things." This means that we can betray God even in thought, and this is already enough for our destruction. "Whoever loves father or mother more than I am unworthy of Me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than I am unworthy of Me." These words of the Gospel are usually perceived with some kind of inner resistance. Love for relatives is an example of the strongest earthly human love. The commandment is not to love God a hundred times more than we love mom and dad, it means a qualitative difference – nothing can be put on a par with God, and any earthly love is given to us as a prototype of love for God. Without loving God alone, it is impossible to be with God. The words are heavy, terrible for us, who have loved so much on earth. God occupies only a small place in our minds, and He has almost no place in our hearts. Christ says that he who renounces everything will gain everything. Whoever rejects passionate love, renounces attachment to loved ones, frees his heart. It is as if the shackles fall from it, and then it expands. The Apostle Paul writes about this: "Our heart is enlarged. You are not cramped in us..." (2 Corinthians 6:11-12). Such a heart is able to accommodate everyone. True love for one's neighbor is acquired, pure and holy, which embraces everyone, including relatives, of course. 139. If we become addicted to food or clothing, this will be idolatry... Try only to love God and to cling to Him alone. (495) God's place in our souls is occupied by various perishable things. We experience many things precisely as a source of good for us, a source of consolation. But the true source of good is only the eternal God. The temporary always deceives us. We attach our souls to people - they die, we attach ourselves to occupations - they disappear, or cease to interest us, or we lose the ability to engage in them. We build our own houses, buy things, cook food... Everything is eaten, lived, broken, and in the end we ourselves disappear, usually before what we have accumulated. But if we cling to God in soul and heart, and not to the perishable world, then we will have good and consolation on earth, and bliss in eternity. 140. There is no worse thing in monasteries than discord, contradiction, and contempt for others. (432) And not only in monastic cloisters, but in general there is nothing worse than discord, contradiction, and contempt for others. No matter how much we hang ourselves with crosses, no matter how much we take communion, if we do not overcome malice and self-will, if we despise each other, then we call ourselves Christians in vain. 141. When we are in disobedience, in disobedience, in strife among ourselves, the Lord God cannot be with us... And where in the monastery they lead a peaceful life, pleasing to the Lord, there are angels. (434, 435) God, He is humble, He is meek, and has nothing in common with us when we murmur and are angry - He quietly departs from us. This is also the case in human communication. A gentle, delicate, noble person cannot stand a rough environment, he imperceptibly leaves it. In the same way, God leaves us with our malice. He does not forcibly remake us, He does not forcibly draw us into the Kingdom of Heaven. If we do not correct ourselves in this temporal life, then we will remain forever alone with our selfishness, with our malice. 142. It is possible to warn the sinner for the sake of the common good; whether he accepts the warning or not, as long as he does not say it out of malice, with humility, for the salvation of the soul of his neighbor. (449) Why does a seemingly kind word often only irritate a person? Because it is spoken from an evil heart. 143. If anyone is angry or at enmity with his sister, he is not worthy to go to church or to offer prayer to the Lord. (460) If a man is at enmity with someone in his soul, then his prayer is imputed to him as a sin, and he has no right to receive Communion. Although sin, at a superficial glance, is small and, it would seem, cannot be compared with fornication, murder, or robbery, but before God, unrepentant hatred is equal to murder. Underestimation of mental sins occurs for two reasons. Firstly, society does not punish for them. A criminal thought, until it has become a word or a deed, is not subject to the criminal code, and in general, people, not knowing our thoughts, do not condemn us for them. Secondly, it is easier to repent of mental sins than of sins committed by deed. Hence the illusion of innocence and non-punishment. A sinful thought seems to be something harmless. However, God's judgment is carried out according to a different code. The Lord has proclaimed this through the Gospel, and we are all warned that we will be judged for our thoughts as well as for our deeds. 144. How will I pray to Him when I do not listen to Him? (460) This is not a question of human weaknesses, but of what a person prefers: the commandment of God or his own malice. If he consciously chooses malice, admits that he has the right to be offended by people, to consider them guilty, then he is consciously going against God. 145. We should love Him more than fear Him; demons are afraid; if there is no love in us, then we also become like them. (21) We do not have the saving fear of God, but the fear that the demons have. It is said about them: "Demons believe and tremble," that is, they have hopeless fear. So we are usually possessed by such fear. We fear God, but we do not believe that we can be saved. We are very often, unnoticed by ourselves, in a state of despair, and therefore we fall into such spiritual despondency that we think, if it is impossible to be saved, then at least now we will have a piece of it, and we plunge into the vanity of life. In fact, you need to fear God, but not fall into despair. And do everything we can for our salvation. 146. "And woe to you, lawyers, because you lay burdens on people that are unbearable, and you yourselves do not touch them with one finger" (Luke 11:46). That is, you force people and confuse their conscience, force them to do what you cannot do yourself. The most common phenomenon is mutual teaching. We, who have not yet touched the practice of God's commandments, love to teach others. We have such coldness towards God that, to be honest, we almost do not know Him and almost never remember Him, what kind of love is there. We do not fulfill the commandment of love for God, nor the commandment of love for one's neighbor, but from morning to evening we teach each other, each to the extent of his poor understanding. Whoever imagines himself to be a spiritual person teaches in spiritual things, and those who do not know about inner things teach about external things: how to stand in church, how to light a candle... But it is clear that only those who are called to do so by God (priests in church, bosses at work, parents at home) can teach others, or a person must have a special grace of God or a special love for his neighbor when he is ready to lay down his life for him. Then you can convert the whole city to Christianity by love. Once upon a time, St. Gregory of Neocaesarea came to the city of Neocaesarea, where there were seventeen Christians. And a few years later, seventeen pagans remained there. By his love, by his prayer, Saint Gregory attracted the grace of God, which converted people to Christ, and they were united by love. I am a sinful man, but if I do not preach from the ambo, then my sins will only multiply from this. It's the same with parents. If they do not bring up their children out of false humility, this is a sin. Everyone in his place is obliged to teach. And if we are not appointed to teach, if we are not overwhelmed with love and humility, then it is better for us to be silent, so as not to multiply our sins with empty talk. 147. You say in prayer, "Our Father!" If He is the Father, He cares for you. Rather, he says, the mother will forget the fiend, but I will not forget you. My Creator! The baby runs to his mother! And we are moving away from You! (409) We should treat God as loving children treat a loving mother, but we, like madmen, run away from Him. And even the almighty Lord can do nothing if we willfully leave Him and depart from the path of His commandments.

Prayer

Without love we will not see God * Passionate love is displeasing to the Lord * Love that deprives us of freedom is sinful * It is not our neighbors who are obliged to love us, but we who love them * Whether we love God becomes clear in suffering * Worldly attachments are our weakness * To hate in order to love * It is possible to betray God in thought * How to love relatives * If we are at enmity with each other, we are called Christians in vain * We are not forcibly driven to the Kingdom of Heaven * A kind word from an evil heart * Those who are at war do not have the right to take communion * Hatred is equal to murder * Others can be taught by those who are called to do so by God * Do not multiply sins by idle talk * 131. Without God's love, without peace with our neighbors, we will not be vouchsafed to see God. (7) Just as gangrene occurs on an arm or a leg, so dislike for one's neighbor is gangrene of our soul. If we are not cured of this disease with God's help, we will be cut off from the eternal Body of the Church. 132. "Whosoever cometh unto Me, and hates not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren and sisters, and also his own soul, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26). From your letter it is evident that you are very fond of your sister; this is not in accordance with the teaching of Christ our Saviour. (85) Fervent human love does not agree with the teaching of the Saviour. And it is clear why. It is said in the Old Testament, and Christ confirmed this commandment: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy mind, with all thy soul." With all my heart. And if our heart is given to people, then we are clearly violating the first commandment of God. 133. Love her [your sister] and be freer from your love, so that you do not prefer her to the love of God. Human love brings little benefit to our souls; but love for God fulfills everything, and is an eternal gain. (85) Love should make a person free. If love deprives you of freedom, then this is already sinful love. It is not said: do not love. Love, but do not be enslaved to human love. Human love should not block God from us. If we love a person as the image of God, then we come to know God even more, our love for Him increases. And if our attachment to a person, to a deed, or to a thing distracts us from God, then such attachment is sinful. True love for one's neighbor appears when we fulfill the first commandment, then only we can truly fulfill the second: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 134. Love God above all else, and do not seek human love; when we love God with all our heart and soul, then we will love one another; and without God's love, human love will be in vain. (347) Whether we love God is not determined when He sends us consolation, but when there are no such consolations. And this is true in human relations. When a husband never ceases to please his wife - how can you not love him? It's quite another thing when he lies paralyzed and at the same time scolds. It is here that the measure of our love is revealed. Hope for human relationships, for all earthly attachments, is a false hope. Worldly people are bound together by many ties, by many feelings. But it's one thing to have these feelings, it's another thing to count on them, to see them as the support of your life. In essence, worldly attachments are our weakness. It is necessary to come to terms with it. But to give oneself entirely to these feelings, to consider them as some kind of dignity, and even more so to be exalted by them, means to sin, instead of salvific humility to acquire destructive pride. 135. We should not think whether they love us or not; or better to think that she is not worthy to be loved. Love everyone yourself, because we are not told to be loved, but we are commanded to love everyone. (192) We have been given the commandment, "Love the Lord God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself." It is said: love! And we, through our cunning, distort this commandment and substitute in its place another, self-willed one: "All must love one another." But it is one thing to think that I should love all my neighbors, and another thing is that everyone should love each other. It follows that everyone should love me. We are very concerned about who treats us. When someone does not love us, we are not only offended or angry, we also condemn the person. But the commandment of love is addressed to each person personally, so that he, without demanding love for himself, would love another himself. It is not us who are obliged to love, but we are obliged to love our neighbors, and the Lord God will judge other people for how they treat us. 136. If your heart is unyielding to the love of those who are hostile to us, then pray: "Lord! Soften the hardness, the cruelty, and the hardness of my heart." (194) If we don't love our neighbors, we need to know that it's about ourselves. If we had a loving heart, we would love everyone, we could not help loving. If we do not love someone, it means that our heart is actually empty, and our so-called love is passionate attachment. Our natural, God-given feeling of love has been defiled by the fall of Adam and Eve, poisoned by pride. This is how we inherit it at birth. As long as we are more fond of people who praise us, who console us, and not those who insult and offend us, our love remains a carnal, passionate feeling. We should not take our human attachments (even good, even natural) to husbands, wives, and friends for the spiritual love that is spoken of in God's commandment. 137. Those who have no concern for worldly life and do not cling to love any person stand closer to the throne of God. (340) Not to have any earthly attachments is the measure of great ascetics. But it should be an ideal for us. The soul of every person is the bride of Christ, and God demands faithfulness from every soul, so that we do not cling to anything or anyone except God. Love for one's neighbor does not mean passionate love, but sacrificial love, in the likeness of Christ's love. And we must become completely attached to God. "Hate completely, that you may love perfectly. Move away completely, in order to come completely closer" - these are the words of St. Barsanuphius the Great. Only by completely hating sin can one truly love God and one's neighbor. Only by withdrawing from the passions can one truly draw near to God. 138. Instead of God, we turn with love to temporal things; we leave God, and cling to creation, we occupy our thoughts with vain things. (495) According to the commandment, we must love God, our heart must be given to God, but we betray it because we are heartily attached to various created things. It happens, we get attached to people, it happens, to some objects, to some activities. One should not think that betrayal of God is only something crudely bodily, when a person, for example, robs, fornicates, drinks vodka. The Elder writes: "We occupy our thoughts with vain things." This means that we can betray God even in thought, and this is already enough for our destruction. "Whoever loves father or mother more than I am unworthy of Me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than I am unworthy of Me." These words of the Gospel are usually perceived with some kind of inner resistance. Love for relatives is an example of the strongest earthly human love. The commandment is not to love God a hundred times more than we love mom and dad, it means a qualitative difference – nothing can be put on a par with God, and any earthly love is given to us as a prototype of love for God. Without loving God alone, it is impossible to be with God. The words are heavy, terrible for us, who have loved so much on earth. God occupies only a small place in our minds, and He has almost no place in our hearts. Christ says that he who renounces everything will gain everything. Whoever rejects passionate love, renounces attachment to loved ones, frees his heart. It is as if the shackles fall from it, and then it expands. The Apostle Paul writes about this: "Our heart is enlarged. You are not cramped in us..." (2 Corinthians 6:11-12). Such a heart is able to accommodate everyone. True love for one's neighbor is acquired, pure and holy, which embraces everyone, including relatives, of course. 139. If we become addicted to food or clothing, this will be idolatry... Try only to love God and to cling to Him alone. (495) God's place in our souls is occupied by various perishable things. We experience many things precisely as a source of good for us, a source of consolation. But the true source of good is only the eternal God. The temporary always deceives us. We attach our souls to people - they die, we attach ourselves to occupations - they disappear, or cease to interest us, or we lose the ability to engage in them. We build our own houses, buy things, cook food... Everything is eaten, lived, broken, and in the end we ourselves disappear, usually before what we have accumulated. But if we cling to God in soul and heart, and not to the perishable world, then we will have good and consolation on earth, and bliss in eternity. 140. There is no worse thing in monasteries than discord, contradiction, and contempt for others. (432) And not only in monastic cloisters, but in general there is nothing worse than discord, contradiction, and contempt for others. No matter how much we hang ourselves with crosses, no matter how much we take communion, if we do not overcome malice and self-will, if we despise each other, then we call ourselves Christians in vain. 141. When we are in disobedience, in disobedience, in strife among ourselves, the Lord God cannot be with us... And where in the monastery they lead a peaceful life, pleasing to the Lord, there are angels. (434, 435) God, He is humble, He is meek, and has nothing in common with us when we murmur and are angry - He quietly departs from us. This is also the case in human communication. A gentle, delicate, noble person cannot stand a rough environment, he imperceptibly leaves it. In the same way, God leaves us with our malice. He does not forcibly remake us, He does not forcibly draw us into the Kingdom of Heaven. If we do not correct ourselves in this temporal life, then we will remain forever alone with our selfishness, with our malice. 142. It is possible to warn the sinner for the sake of the common good; whether he accepts the warning or not, as long as he does not say it out of malice, with humility, for the salvation of the soul of his neighbor. (449) Why does a seemingly kind word often only irritate a person? Because it is spoken from an evil heart. 143. If anyone is angry or at enmity with his sister, he is not worthy to go to church or to offer prayer to the Lord. (460) If a man is at enmity with someone in his soul, then his prayer is imputed to him as a sin, and he has no right to receive Communion. Although sin, at a superficial glance, is small and, it would seem, cannot be compared with fornication, murder, or robbery, but before God, unrepentant hatred is equal to murder. Underestimation of mental sins occurs for two reasons. Firstly, society does not punish for them. A criminal thought, until it has become a word or a deed, is not subject to the criminal code, and in general, people, not knowing our thoughts, do not condemn us for them. Secondly, it is easier to repent of mental sins than of sins committed by deed. Hence the illusion of innocence and non-punishment. A sinful thought seems to be something harmless. However, God's judgment is carried out according to a different code. The Lord has proclaimed this through the Gospel, and we are all warned that we will be judged for our thoughts as well as for our deeds. 144. How will I pray to Him when I do not listen to Him? (460) This is not a question of human weaknesses, but of what a person prefers: the commandment of God or his own malice. If he consciously chooses malice, admits that he has the right to be offended by people, to consider them guilty, then he is consciously going against God. 145. We should love Him more than fear Him; demons are afraid; if there is no love in us, then we also become like them. (21) We do not have the saving fear of God, but the fear that the demons have. It is said about them: "Demons believe and tremble," that is, they have hopeless fear. So we are usually possessed by such fear. We fear God, but we do not believe that we can be saved. We are very often, unnoticed by ourselves, in a state of despair, and therefore we fall into such spiritual despondency that we think, if it is impossible to be saved, then at least now we will have a piece of it, and we plunge into the vanity of life. In fact, you need to fear God, but not fall into despair. And do everything we can for our salvation. 146. "And woe to you, lawyers, because you lay burdens on people that are unbearable, and you yourselves do not touch them with one finger" (Luke 11:46). That is, you force people and confuse their conscience, force them to do what you cannot do yourself. The most common phenomenon is mutual teaching. We, who have not yet touched the practice of God's commandments, love to teach others. We have such coldness towards God that, to be honest, we almost do not know Him and almost never remember Him, what kind of love is there. We do not fulfill the commandment of love for God, nor the commandment of love for one's neighbor, but from morning to evening we teach each other, each to the extent of his poor understanding. Whoever imagines himself to be a spiritual person teaches in spiritual things, and those who do not know about inner things teach about external things: how to stand in church, how to light a candle... But it is clear that only those who are called to do so by God (priests in church, bosses at work, parents at home) can teach others, or a person must have a special grace of God or a special love for his neighbor when he is ready to lay down his life for him. Then you can convert the whole city to Christianity by love. Once upon a time, St. Gregory of Neocaesarea came to the city of Neocaesarea, where there were seventeen Christians. And a few years later, seventeen pagans remained there. By his love, by his prayer, Saint Gregory attracted the grace of God, which converted people to Christ, and they were united by love. I am a sinful man, but if I do not preach from the ambo, then my sins will only multiply from this. It's the same with parents. If they do not bring up their children out of false humility, this is a sin. Everyone in his place is obliged to teach. And if we are not appointed to teach, if we are not overwhelmed with love and humility, then it is better for us to be silent, so as not to multiply our sins with empty talk. 147. You say in prayer, "Our Father!" If He is the Father, He cares for you. Rather, he says, the mother will forget the fiend, but I will not forget you. My Creator! The baby runs to his mother! And we are moving away from You! (409) We should treat God as loving children treat a loving mother, but we, like madmen, run away from Him. And even the almighty Lord can do nothing if we willfully leave Him and depart from the path of His commandments.

Part 1

Trust in God must be absolute * The Lord does not fulfill the requests, so that we do not cease to ask * "Whoever has not been to the sea, does not pray fervently to God" * Cutting off one's will opens the heart to prayer * God deprives us of gifts in order to protect us from pride * "As the soul is to the body, so attention is to prayer" * Even behind wise thoughts demons can hide * We are struck by the passion of empty thinking * Prayer without humility is displeasing to God * Prayers are not invented - they are given by the Holy Spirit * The matter is in the hands, Prayer on the lips * Is the Jesus Prayer dangerous? * What does it mean to practice the Jesus Prayer * "The devil does not tolerate the fragrance of repentance" * It is madness to seek supernatural visions * Spiritual lust attracts not an angel, but a demon * 148. He cries out to all: "Call upon Me in the day of thy affliction, and punish thee" (Psalm 49:15); call not with doubt, but with faith. (21) God turns to each of us so that when we are in sorrow, when our hearts are heavy, we turn to Him, and He will help us. And this is the real experience of all the ascetics of piety, of all the saints. We do not have this in our experience, because we do not turn to God or because we do not have patience. We think that I have said two words to God and He will immediately run and fulfill all my desires. Why on earth? God loves us as children, but we, not loving Him, put ourselves in the position of His slaves and almost enemies. Is it a presumptuous slave-enemy to expect that a powerful Master will immediately fulfill his whims, often ridiculous and even sinful? One must turn to God with all one's good desire, but at the same time, being aware of one's unworthiness, be prepared in advance that the desire may not be fulfilled at the time or in the way I would like, or not at all, if it is harmful to me. And besides, don't be disingenuous with yourself. I often hear Christians murmur against God: "I prayed, but nothing has changed, so it is useless to pray." And the point is that our trust in God should be absolute, not limited by any conditions or terms. It is naïve to expect that I will pray for two weeks and my son will stop drinking. Such a calculation completely makes prayer meaningless. It is necessary to pray for loved ones. But you need to tune in, pray for them all your life. It is absurd to set your own deadlines for God. We are sent by Him to this temporary world to pray and prepare ourselves for the Kingdom of Heaven, to pray for our lost relatives, who have fallen away from the Church, who are mired in mortal sins. But when and how God will respond to our prayer, we cannot know in advance. Everything is the will of God, before which one can only humble oneself. Prayer is not a heavy duty, prayer is a natural state of the human soul, and bargaining with God is absurd. It happens that the Lord deliberately does not fulfill our prayer requests, so that we do not stop praying. We are so frivolous, our souls are so down-to-earth, that if we receive anything from worldly goods, we immediately forget about prayer, about God. That is why the Lord sends us needs and sorrows, and sometimes He "does not hear" our requests, urging us to further more persistent and persistent prayerful feat. 149. It is said, "Whoever has not been to the sea, has not prayed earnestly to God; And are not the worries of life the same? Where there is more agitation, where there is more confusion, then we have recourse to God. (55) A very wise proverb. Whoever has not experienced sorrows, who has not been in difficult circumstances, does not know prayer. God sends us all kinds of temptations in order to teach us to turn to Him, that is, to teach us to pray. If we could live piously and turn to God in prayer, without waiting for temptations and worries, the Lord would not send them, He would give us every consolation already in temporal life. But since we are so weak that we cannot stand in love for God, He has to allow us many temptations. We are not able, when everything is good and calm with us, to retain the memory of God and the feeling of gratitude to Him. And only in difficult moments do we begin to turn to God. This is the only way to teach us prayer and prepare us for the Kingdom of Heaven. "Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit," said the Apostle Paul. We have a duty to be priests in this temple, to serve in it, to be in the altar, which is the heart, and to make a prayer sacrifice there. But we, who are busy with earthly affairs, neglect our calling. Our church is empty and abandoned, and the entrance to it is littered with piles of rubbish - a multitude of sinful addictions block our access to the shrine. 150. Otherwise, we stand and contemplate something earthly in the distraction of our thoughts—this is labor without benefit, like a tree without fruit. (53) I would say that this is not quite true. If we are scattered, and when we come to our senses, we humble ourselves, repenting and reproaching ourselves, then there is already some benefit from this. One should not think that he defended the service in the diaspora - he went to church in vain. If I hadn't gone to church, I would have been even more scattered at home. It is bad when a person comes to church, stands for three hours absent-minded, and thinks that he has done some good deed, that he has pleased God. This is hypocrisy, this is pride. Without the participation of the person himself, even the prayers of the great saints will not be able to help him. In the Old Testament there is an example of two sinful kings – David and Saul, for whom the holy prophets prayed: Nathan for the first, and Samuel for the second. Why did David receive forgiveness and Saul did not? St. Demetrius of Rostov explains that he was the first to pray, weep, sprinkle ashes on his head, dissolve drink with tears, eat ashes like bread, and from midnight he stood up to pray. That is why he received forgiveness. Saul, on the other hand, only drank, ate, and made merry. He was not a participant in the prayer that the saint offered up for him. And without a person's personal repentance, even the prayers of the saints for him are powerless. This is an instructive example for all of us, so that we do not rely too much on God's mercy. God is almighty, but He does not take away our freedom. If we ourselves do not struggle with the passions, if we do not ask for help, He does not forcibly drive us into the Kingdom of Heaven. Our participation should consist first of all in the fact that we concentrate all our selfless efforts on the rejection of self-will. Our heart is open to prayer to the extent that we, with God's help, succeed in cutting off our will. St. Ignatius Brianchaninov teaches this: "If a person does not first purify himself by cutting off his will, then the true prayerful action will never be revealed in him." Prayer, in fact, is the merging of our will with the Divine will. Merging not in the sense that the human will disappears, as some heretics, both ancient and modern, teach, but in the sense that it is completely in accord with the will of God. 151. The beginning of prayer consists in repelling extraneous thoughts that come to us at their first encounter with the mind. The middle is when our thought is immersed in the only thing that we read. Its perfection is the rapture of our whole soul to God. (518) Everyone who wants to follow the spiritual path should begin with this: to drive away the thoughts that come during prayer and to return the mind to prayer again and again. When God sees our progress in humility and our diligence in prayer, He grants attention, then a person is completely focused on the content of the prayer, and no extraneous thoughts disturb him. Let us not forget that attentive prayer is precisely a gift of God. Until the Lord gives it to us, we will not be able to achieve prayerful attention by our own efforts, no matter what methods and "techniques" we use. All attempts to arbitrarily seize attention will either give no result, or will lead to a state of self-deception, to delusion. The rapture of the soul to God is already the pinnacle, the fruit of spiritual life. Most of those who enter the Kingdom of Heaven receive this gift when the soul leaves the body, not before. This is explained not by the whim of God, but by our weakness. God could give us perfect prayer at any time, but we are too prone to vanity. If the Lord were to place us now before His throne, we would never refrain from sinful thoughts: they say, how good we are, what a reward we have been vouchsafed. And it would all end with the fact that because of pride we would be cast down to the bottom of hell. Sparing and protecting us, God does not give us high gifts. But if we remain in podvig, if we humbly endure our base, scattered state, then He will not abandon us, and at the departure of the soul from the body we will receive as a gift a perfect prayer, without which there can be no Kingdom of Heaven, which is the Kingdom of Heaven. However, the topic of perfection is not yet relevant for us, we should be concerned about the problem of attention. "As the soul is to the body, attention is to prayer," "without attention, prayer is dead" – this is how the Holy Fathers said about prayer. A beginner does not control his attention, success is achieved only through practice. Having begun to pray in absent-mindedness, the mind is gradually drawn to the action of prayer, the soul seems to become accustomed to prayer. The well-known patristic recommendation "Enclose your mind in the words of prayer" means nothing else than "Pray with attention." The confinement of the mind in the spoken words is required both in mental prayer in the name of Jesus, and in the oral reading of akathists and psalms. The reason why we usually do not have attentive prayer is again our pride. With people like us, it does not happen otherwise - if the Lord grants us even a little attention in prayer, we immediately fall into complacency. And this is instead of thanking God for the fact that I, unworthy, who do not love Him, have been given the opportunity to pray, for the fact that He did not reject me like this, but condescended and communed with me in prayer. Paradoxically, the lack of attention is no less dangerous for us, and all for the same reason. Even a prayer performed without attention, especially a long one, can lead us into pride. Such an essentially meaningless activity as an absent-minded reading of several canons already encourages a person to think of himself: "I am an ascetic." This pernicious secret thought creeps up unnoticed and captivates. It is clear that for this reason prayerful attention can only be given to the humble. 152. When we read a prayer with our lips, and our mind wanders far away, it is evident that we do not stand before God. (520) This refers to those times when we think of something pious and useful, which in itself is not bad. But, however, this is not prayer. The Holy Fathers do not advise during prayer to be distracted even by useful thoughts, even by wise and seemingly good ones, because demons often hide behind them. True, this does not apply to us, but to lofty men of prayer, it is to them that the demons prompt lofty and wise thoughts. Of course, they do not wage such a battle with us, we are visited not by demonic thoughts, but by our own most ordinary worldly thoughts. In such cases, you need to turn to God as soon as possible: "Lord, help me pray now, and then, with Your help, I will do the necessary things." 153. The mind or spirit flies within us so quickly that in an instant we can imagine what we have seen or heard; But why should we deal with empty things? (520) This applies not only to the time of prayer, but to any moment. We are struck by the passion of empty thinking. We all think that we are thinking about something very important, but if we look carefully at the fruits of our reflections, we will see that all this is empty. But we do not have enough time for what we really need to think about. If we consider our worldly problems, it is not through the commandments of God, but through our passions, which aggravates our sinfulness. It would be better not to think about anything at all. 154. Do not say or think that you cannot pray in confusion. (526) Here is the abyss of our deceit, here are the demons, here everyone around is to blame. I was offended - therefore I sin. They didn't respect me - I drank. If there were conditions, I would pray to God. Because I live in a communal apartment, and I don't have icons, and my children are noisy, and my pension is not enough... But let us look at the Holy Fathers. All of them lived in the most difficult conditions. And the harsher the conditions, the better their prayer was. This is the law. There is a story about a man who, while in a concentration camp, reached despair. St. Seraphim of Sarov appeared to him and said that the ascetics themselves sought such conditions, voluntarily went into the wilderness, into seclusion, and they were created for you – why are you complaining? This man was emboldened and with gratitude endured all the horrors that God allowed him. 155. With mental prayer one must also combine oral prayer. The enemy is afraid of the very words of prayer. One said: I don't understand in my mind what I'm reading. You do not understand, answered the elder, but the enemy understands. (521) The combination of mental prayer with oral prayer is not necessary, but it can be useful. The mind should be collected in the most convenient way. If the mind gathers better in silence, then it means praying silently. If oral prayer helps, then combine mental prayer with oral prayer. In case of distraction, in some temptations, when it is difficult to gather one's mind, it is useful, if circumstances permit, simply to pray aloud. In this way, our attention is drawn to prayer, our mind calms down and begins to pray, and the heart is disposed to prayer. Of course, if a person who prays with only his lips begins to imagine himself to be a man of prayer, he is mistaken. But if we pray orally, sincerely reproaching ourselves for distraction, such a prayer is the fruit of a heartfelt disposition towards God, and God accepts it. 156. One must listen and follow with one's mind what is read and sung in church, and the soul is watered, or prays: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." After all, if only the mind was with God, otherwise wherever it stands, as long as it is with God. (57) Indeed, as much as possible, while standing in church or reading prayers at home, it is necessary to mentally observe what is read and sung. If this fails, then during the service you should pray silently to yourself with Jesus ("Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner") or any other short prayer. If this does not work out, then at least humble yourself, recognize your weakness, reproach yourself and repent. I often hear that someone has chosen a place in the church, it is his favorite. He was asked to leave this place - the person is upset, embarrassed. In fact, wherever we are, in a convenient place or in an inconvenient one, whether we are pushed or not, whether candles are passed through us or not, if we are with God in our souls, then we will participate in the service. And if we stand even at the throne of God, and our heart is somewhere aside, we will find ourselves outside the service. Not only the place in the church, but everything external in general has its meaning exclusively as a means called to help prayer. "For the podvig of prayer, all other feats are undertaken as servile to him," wrote St. Ignatius Brianchaninov. Otherwise, external feats can only bring harm. If a person only fasts, or only limits himself in sleep, or only makes prostrations, and at the same time does not pray, then such asceticism is senseless and destructive. 157. The Apostle says: "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), not only standing and bowing, but constantly having the Lord within us. (53) This, of course, is the most important and repeated instruction of many Holy Fathers, that the commandment "Pray without ceasing" is given to all people. This does not mean that you need to stand day and night in front of icons and sing psalms or travel, for example, in a bus and make prostrations there, read akathists and canons aloud. It is about the unceasing remembrance of God. Mental cry to God should, as far as possible, not be interrupted during the day and accompany any of our activities. This applies to everyone: to monks and laypeople, to those who have succeeded in the spiritual life and those who are just beginning it. We must try to remember God all the time. There is no such situation in life when a person needs to forget about God. And the memory of God is prayer. Without a doubt, this is not easy. In such a case, it is desirable to have the help of an experienced spiritual mentor. Too often, the attitude toward prayer turns out to be wrong. One of these irregularities is that in the morning you read a short rule, in the evening - a short evening rule, before communion once every six months - several prayers, and that's it. Another mistake is to read a lot of prayers, but without due attention. Both are Pharisees: I have given God everything that is due, and I can no longer remember Him. In reality, of course, God needs our hearts, not debts. There is another misconception - a person believes that since he believes in Christ, then he can immediately take up great prayerful feats. Often this is simply due to inexperience. Then God admonishes a person, either through people or by some mild punishment. And it also happens out of pride, when a person believes that he is better and higher than everyone else and that the instructions of St. Ignatius Brianchaninov and Theophan the Recluse are not written for him, and he throws himself into ascetic deeds that do not correspond to his spiritual state at all. For great deeds, great humility is needed first of all. If it exists, then the Lord knows how to instruct such a person and what deeds to indicate to him: great, medium, or small. A proud person is not ready for anything. Except for destruction. He first needs to learn to humble himself. It's not that he has to wait: first I'll humble myself, then I'll start praying. We must pray in any state, but first of all we need to ask: "Lord, give me humility" - and inwardly prepare ourselves for temptations and sorrows that will really humble us. The Bible says that God settled man in paradise to cultivate and preserve it. The Holy Fathers explain that the paradise of the heart is cultivated by prayer, and preserved by humility. It happens that a person, starting a spiritual life, establishes a prayer rule for himself. At first he is happy: today I have read five hundred Jesus prayers, tomorrow I will read six hundred, and in a week - two thousand. And it happens that a week later he no longer reads a single prayer, but drinks vodka with friends. This is what is bad about jealousy that is not according to reason. But if this person has seriously decided to become a Christian, then thanks to such falls he can recognize his weakness and humble himself. The main thing is not to depart from God. If we try to keep our mental standing before God, He Himself will begin to teach us to pray and show us what we are doing wrong. Gradually, it will be revealed to us that prayer without humility is displeasing to God. To help us, the Lord will guide us through various temptations. In this way, gradually humbling us, the Lord will teach us everything, if only we would retain zeal and mental aspiration to Him.

Part 2

158. As for prayer, every prayer is pleasing to the Lord; The Holy Fathers learned not to plunder the mind, in this prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner," walking, sitting and doing whatever." (145) As for the Jesus Prayer – "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" – it must be said that it is not for nothing that it is especially singled out by the Holy Fathers as a highly concentrated, powerful prayer. And in a sense, dangerous. It happens that an unprepared person takes up the "mental" Jesus Prayer, and his heart is still cold, it would be better for him to warm his heart for the time being by reading touching akathists and canons with all possible attention, but he dares to take up this sword of mental work, which is not yet within his power, and, figuratively speaking, wounds himself with it. Therefore, there must be caution, reasoning and guidance from the mentor. One should not neglect the usual prayers, otherwise some, having revered the Holy Fathers and misunderstood some of their statements, decide that the prayer books were not written for them, but for some uncultured, little spiritual people. In reality, the form of prayer should correspond to the spiritual measure and spiritual makeup of a person, therefore, when establishing prayer rules for yourself, it is necessary to consult with the clergy whom you trust. The prayers from the Prayer Book are very lofty and still far from corresponding to our inner structure, because they poured out from the hearts of the great saints. God gave them to write down these prayers so that we could learn to pray according to them, so that when we read them attentively, our heart would be tuned and come to that humble state of repentance that the Holy Fathers had. When praying in one's own words, one should not be particularly concerned about the correctness of the wording. The simpler the better. Writing is a matter that has nothing to do with prayer. Prayers are not invented - they are given by the Holy Spirit. When a child is dangerously ill, the mother does not compose anything. She simply and clearly asks God: "Lord, help, save my child!" 159. Whether you are engaged in needlework or walking, have the Jesus Prayer on your lips... Everything is sanctified by prayer. The matter is in the hands, the prayer is on the lips. (525) This is the general instruction of the Holy Fathers, which at first glance seems simple. But here is what we need to consider. For example, someone who has read one or two books about the Jesus Prayer believes that the path is now clear to him: you begin oral prayer, it will soon turn into mental prayer, and then the heartfelt prayer will appear by itself. And so it happens, but on condition that a person spends many years in severe self-restraint, hard work, complete obedience to the elder, endures, with gratitude to God, illnesses and sorrows. And when the soul is humbled, when the heart is broken and all arrogance is destroyed, then a heartfelt prayer comes to the ascetic. And we have to start over.

If, in our insane state (in malice, condemnation, murmuring), we try to implant in ourselves unceasing mental prayer, then we will achieve only one thing - we will find ourselves in satanic delusion. Of course, it would be wrong, in anticipation of complete humility, to postpone prayer altogether. You need to pray and humble yourself. We have enough reasons for humility. It is enough to look at ourselves sincerely and soberly - and we will see a complete ugliness, both in actions and in thoughts. And then, involuntarily, from the depths of your soul, you cry out: "Lord, I am perishing!" Of course, reading books is also necessary. The question of the Jesus Prayer is not simple, and the discussion of it has not ceased for centuries. There are different opinions among the Holy Fathers and ascetics of piety about how, to whom, and when one should turn to this podvig. However, I must admit that we, the parish clergy, speak little and reluctantly about the mental practice of the Jesus Prayer. And the point here is not in inertia and lack of spirituality, but in the fact that other problems are more relevant for us. What do I mean? Many of those who call themselves Christians have not yet tried to fight against their pride. We rise up against our neighbors because of an insignificant trifle, we murmur against God because He does not fulfill our coarse lusts. We are still very far from love. We should humbly follow the path of doing the commandments, enduring God's punishment for our sinfulness with gratitude. Through this, gradually, our heart can soften and open, then, it is possible, that Christ will hear our Jesus Prayer and will not punish us for our insolence, but will really have mercy on us. Reading is necessary, but one must be able to read conscientiously and attentively. A wonderful book "Frank Stories of a Pilgrim to His Spiritual Father" is widely known. Its author, possessing great spiritual experience, advises, among other things, to use mechanical repetition to acquire unceasing prayer. He asserts that mechanical repetition will eventually attract the mind to prayer, and then the heart will be attracted to the mind. But to what extent does this apply to our lives, to our spiritual experience? There is an episode in the book when the priest objects to the elder about the mechanical repetition of the name of God. He says that such a senseless repetition in one language is both sinful and harmful, that one must pray with attention, try to do it from the heart. The Elder replies that the objections would be completely justified if it were not for the unceasing practice of prayer. Exactly! When a person has completely devoted himself to such a podvig, has completely renounced the world, then in such a chosen one of God the promises of the Holy Fathers about speedy spiritual success, the acquisition of grace-filled prayer of the heart, will come true. We are not going this way. And we cannot go, for lack of love for God. If we want to compare ourselves with the great ascetics, then we must do it honestly. Whoever has read this book, let him remember how its hero lived before he embarked on his feat. From childhood he was a cripple, so many passions did not affect him. He was married, but he lived a chaste marriage with his wife. Every evening he and his young wife made a thousand prostrations before going to bed, so as not to be tempted at night. Thus he lived even before the Jesus Prayer. After the death of his wife, this man was so eager to learn unceasing prayer that for about a year he walked around Russia and sought a guide in prayer. As a result, he was vouchsafed a miraculous revelation from above, the Lord granted him a mentor - then his path of mental work, to which this book is dedicated, had just begun. Do not rush to compare yourself with great people. Our superficial imitation of other people's exploits reminds us of the following. If a girl answers her fiancé from the bottom of her heart: "I love you and agree to marry you", this is fine, but if she, like a wound-up doll, repeats incessantly: "I love you, I love you, I love you...", then she can anger her beloved. In the same way, a person who is subject to pride, filled with coarse passions, by constantly repeating the holy name, risks incurring the wrath of God. 160. By the Jesus Prayer and the sign of the Cross all the power of the enemy will be conveniently driven away. (65) The writings of the Holy Fathers are almost full of instructions on the Jesus Prayer, and I am often asked why the clergy of today do not preach much on this subject. In response, for the sake of persuasiveness, I will cite an oriental parable. One man came to another and asked if he had any scales to weigh the golden dust. And he answered: "I don't have a broom and a scoop." The first was surprised: "Why are you answering me so strangely?" and the second said: "I know that you will spill this sand, and you will need a broom and a dustpan, but I don't have them." Pray, of course, the more, the better. But the very approach to prayer should be prudent. With the right approach, I will see that I have taken it upon myself to pray the Jesus Prayer and I am not succeeding. I decided to devote myself completely to God, but I find that something prevents me from praying. And it is about what hinders us that we preach constantly. If I am attentive, I will see that, in the first place, my voluptuousness hinders me. I do not fast well, my body is not refined by fasting and is not able to participate in prayer, but only distracts me from it. Secondly, many of my worries and attachments prevent me from praying. I have a lot of work and family, God-given duties, unfortunately, there are things and worries that I invent for myself. As a result, my soul is attached to many different things, and therefore, when I begin to pray, my mind willy-nilly rushes to these very things, and prayer turns out to be impossible. All this could be dealt with if not for the third reason. You can increase abstinence in food. It's not that difficult. We know that many non-believers starve severely only for the sake of losing weight, the ascetics of Eastern religions strictly fast for the sake of their lustful desires to enter, as it seems to them, the highest spiritual states. In addition, it is possible to cut off many of our worries, to free ourselves from many things. Finally, you can go into the desert. Take a train, go to the wilderness, go to the mountains, retire - and live there. But there is something that you cannot run away from, something that you will have to fight with all your life. This is pride. We talk about this passion and will talk about it constantly, since it is it that makes us opponents of God. Pride is not a thought, I can think anything about myself. Pride is our deepest experience that we are something significant. That we present God almost as a gift with our prayer, that this is our feat, our worthy deed. This is what makes us vile before God. When pronouncing the holy words of the Jesus Prayer, asking the Lord for mercy, one must realize the meaning of the petition. Let us remember that we are condemned to death row, that by our sinful life we have condemned ourselves to death - eternal hellish torment. We need to acutely feel our doom, to understand that we are begging for mercy for ourselves. And we do it differently. Let us read the Jesus Prayer fifteen times and we have already forgotten everything, not only do we not need any mercy, but we feel ourselves worthy of crowns in the Kingdom of Heaven. So let us not be surprised when we are not given the gift of prayer. Taking pity on us, protecting us from eternal perdition, God grants true prayer only to the one who seeks it, abiding in a humble and repentant feeling. 161. The Jesus Prayer, after the Lord's Prayer, seems to be higher than all prayers; with it you speak directly and simply to the Lord... All the saints teach that the mind should always be exercised in prayer and not be separated from the memory of God. (54, 595) Many people turn to the priest with the question: "Can I practice the Jesus Prayer?" It should be noted that the question of how to practice the Jesus Prayer did not arise only for those people who have either reached the measure of true love, or do not care about their salvation at all, as well as for those who practice this prayer incorrectly. Everyone else sooner or later asks this question. But let's dwell on this word for now - to study. There is a great difference between when a person asks God for forgiveness from the bottom of his heart with these simple and great words: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner," and when he engages in the exercise of such a petition. In one case, it is prayer, in the other, it is the teaching of prayer. Both are necessary. These things are deeply intertwined with each other, but still, one should not confuse prayer of the heart and prayer-exercise. Of course, it is possible to pray in simplicity, calling on the Lord Jesus Christ for help, always and for everyone, if God gives. When it comes to exercises, one should first of all understand who we are talking about: ascetic ascetics or lay parishioners. In the first case, the monastic vocation is meant. The ancient editions of the Philokalia contain indications of special methods of working with the breath, of special positions of the body, of specific prayer rules, of ways of mastering attention, of bringing the mind to the heart, and so on. We are talking about auxiliary methods that accompany a special spiritual path that lofty ascetics follow in certain conditions, with absolute, of course, obedience to the elder, complete renunciation of their own will and of the world. A person called by God to such a feat must receive a special blessing from God and have an experienced mentor who has walked this path himself. Needless to say, this has nothing to do with us. We, the weak laity, need to learn the Jesus Prayer in accordance with our measure, with our dispensation. We should do this as St. Ignatius Brianchaninov teaches in his writings. And above all, remember that the very fact that we are only practicing prayer shows that we are still far from God, that we still love Him very little. Therefore, it is necessary to do this with a deep sense of repentance and humility. Then our studies will be pleasing to God. If we truly loved God, what kind of exercise would we be talking about? When a young man loves a girl, he simply says to her, "I love you," and does not practice saying these words. All of us, in one way or another, with great creaking, but still try to pray and, of course, stumble. If we read ten prayers a day, and even more so a hundred, then we are satisfied with ourselves. It's like a person who has broken his legs, gets out of bed for the first time, hobbles on crutches and is very proud of it. And what, in fact, is to be proud of - he is still only hobbling. This is the first thing. Secondly, if it goes fast, it remains to be seen if it is good. After all, it is important where he goes, in what direction. Perhaps it would have been better for him to lie down always, perhaps it would have been better to die than to walk fast. This also applies to our "feats". Otherwise, it would be better not to turn to God at all, because, having taken up spiritual work, he has come to extreme pride, such that he will have to regret that he was born. The Holy Fathers command us never to look for evil detours in order to acquire prayer, bypassing the path of doing God's commandments. No techniques, methods and methods can implant prayer in the human heart, since only God Himself can grant true heartfelt prayer. The Fathers warn: whoever tries to enter the bridal chamber of Christ by cunning or to break in by force, without being invited, without being ready and worthy, is cast out and severely punished. According to the teaching of the Holy Fathers, while our heart is silent and our mind is not yet collected, it is proper for us to pray orally. Verbal prayer will gradually attract the attention of the mind, if only to remain in humility. It is useful to remember that even the most holy words, but those uttered with the same mouth in the patristic understanding, are not prayer at all. This is only an exercise for our dead soul. When the soul comes to life a little and the mind is attracted to the words, this is already a prayer, but lame, hobbling on one leg, for God expects incomparably more from us - He waits for our heart to respond. If this feeble half-prayer is accompanied by a repentant mood, then the exercises are good for us. "The devil does not tolerate the fragrance of repentance. From the soul that emits this fragrance, the devil runs away with his charms," said St. Ignatius. Satan cannot lead a humble repentant into delusion. 162. For it is not falsely said that if grace touches it, then, having received such an imperishable treasure, you will no longer desire anything external. (14) It is not false, but it is not about us. Many are carried away by the dream of the consoling actions of grace described by the Holy Fathers, and rush to "engage" in prayer out of a thirst for pleasure, striving to receive them as soon as possible, naively waiting for fruit, when they have not yet sown seeds, not understanding that spiritual consolation, which only God can give, must necessarily be preceded by the hard work of true repentance. And any premature spiritual acquisition is unreliable and even dangerous. The work of repentance begins with the fact that a person must realize that he is unworthy of any pleasures and rewards, not to seek consolation and not to wait for it. The goal of our podvig should in no way be the acquisition and multiplication of sweet gifts. Our goal is repentance, reconciliation with God. Consolation can be given to us by the grace of God, but it is not necessary. One should not confuse oneself with the great ascetics, who are truly promised consolation in this life. The silent and hermits carry out the most difficult, above natural, podvig in the wilderness, in seclusion. For such people, in order to maintain their spiritual strength, it is useful to know that they will suffer for another ten years, endure, and then God will give them grace-filled consolation. Such a thought strengthens in the spiritual battle. But our situation has nothing to do with their lives. We do not carry out any feats at all, we live for our own pleasure in bodily comfort and entertainment. Therefore, there is nothing to strengthen and support us. It is also madness when a person seeks supernatural visions and apparitions in prayer. The thirst for miracles resembles what in the material world is known as a precancerous disease, an ailment that is about to degenerate into cancer, into a serious, fatal disease. The thirst for certain special experiences and states, visions and manifestations from above is the same precancerous disease in the spiritual life, it can be followed by an incurable delusion. Indulging in spiritual lust, we run the risk of attracting not an angel to ourselves, but a real demon. Such desires should be regarded as nothing other than a temptation and resolutely fight against them, then the Lord will save us from disaster. "One must first prove one's faithfulness to God by constancy and patience in prayerful labor, by discernment and cutting off of all passions," teaches St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, urging one to labor in prayer of repentance, in the fulfillment of the commandments. From us comes work, from God is grace. But when and to whom to give it is a matter of His holy will. In any case, we should neither wait nor seek consolation, this is absurd to us and offensive to God. Many, as we know, have been severely punished for taking up prayer with a proud desire to have some sweet and pleasant states. It is for this reason that some have fallen into delusion, others into complete destruction through suicide. In the words of St. Ignatius, "one must weep long and bitterly before spiritual action manifests itself in the soul," for the heart must be thoroughly crushed in repentance in order to open itself to grace-filled actions. In our country, it is still completely blocked, sealed by coarse passions, so it is not able to receive grace into itself. 163. Do not grieve that you have not yet built your spiritual temple, that you have not adorned it with good deeds, but ask the Lord. We cannot do anything good by ourselves, but we must ask Him for help: if the Lord does not build a house, those who build it in vain labor. (139) Such words discourage some, cause distrust in others, and yet they are words from the Holy Scriptures (Psalm 126:1). The Church teaches that man is incapable of doing anything truly good and pleasing to God on his own. Any good, and even prayer, if performed by a person without Divine participation, turns out to be a false, essentially antichrist deed, since the Antichrist is the one who is "instead of God." In the historical perspective, the Antichrist will be a person who tries to replace Christ with himself. First of all, we must strive to really unite with the Lord and allow Him to live and act in us. Otherwise, the most seemingly good deeds will actually turn out to be evil. A striking example of such "harmful good" is pseudo-healing by sorcerers, whose actions are always godless. Is it a good treatment in which the patient's leg recovers for a while, but at the same time the soul dies forever?! The understanding that we ourselves, without God, cannot do anything good, should be experienced, not bookish. If a person reads in a book that he cannot do anything good on his own and gives up: well, I cannot and will not do anything, then this is pernicious negligence, and not at all salvific humility. We must put all our strength into working on our souls, we must try to do good, act according to the commandments, and accustom ourselves to prayer. And when we are convinced by experience that nothing is working out for us properly, when we come to know our weakness, when we feel the complete hopelessness of our situation, then we will sincerely and wholeheartedly cry out: "Lord, there has been nothing good in me and there is nothing good, I am trying, and nothing is working, but I hope for your mercy." This is the right mood of the worshipper.

Thoughts

158. As for prayer, every prayer is pleasing to the Lord; The Holy Fathers learned not to plunder the mind, in this prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner," walking, sitting and doing whatever." (145) As for the Jesus Prayer – "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" – it must be said that it is not for nothing that it is especially singled out by the Holy Fathers as a highly concentrated, powerful prayer. And in a sense, dangerous. It happens that an unprepared person takes up the "mental" Jesus Prayer, and his heart is still cold, it would be better for him to warm his heart for the time being by reading touching akathists and canons with all possible attention, but he dares to take up this sword of mental work, which is not yet within his power, and, figuratively speaking, wounds himself with it. Therefore, there must be caution, reasoning and guidance from the mentor. One should not neglect the usual prayers, otherwise some, having revered the Holy Fathers and misunderstood some of their statements, decide that the prayer books were not written for them, but for some uncultured, little spiritual people. In reality, the form of prayer should correspond to the spiritual measure and spiritual makeup of a person, therefore, when establishing prayer rules for yourself, it is necessary to consult with the clergy whom you trust. The prayers from the Prayer Book are very lofty and still far from corresponding to our inner structure, because they poured out from the hearts of the great saints. God gave them to write down these prayers so that we could learn to pray according to them, so that when we read them attentively, our heart would be tuned and come to that humble state of repentance that the Holy Fathers had. When praying in one's own words, one should not be particularly concerned about the correctness of the wording. The simpler the better. Writing is a matter that has nothing to do with prayer. Prayers are not invented - they are given by the Holy Spirit. When a child is dangerously ill, the mother does not compose anything. She simply and clearly asks God: "Lord, help, save my child!" 159. Whether you are engaged in needlework or walking, have the Jesus Prayer on your lips... Everything is sanctified by prayer. The matter is in the hands, the prayer is on the lips. (525) This is the general instruction of the Holy Fathers, which at first glance seems simple. But here is what we need to consider. For example, someone who has read one or two books about the Jesus Prayer believes that the path is now clear to him: you begin oral prayer, it will soon turn into mental prayer, and then the heartfelt prayer will appear by itself. And so it happens, but on condition that a person spends many years in severe self-restraint, hard work, complete obedience to the elder, endures, with gratitude to God, illnesses and sorrows. And when the soul is humbled, when the heart is broken and all arrogance is destroyed, then a heartfelt prayer comes to the ascetic. And we have to start over.

If, in our insane state (in malice, condemnation, murmuring), we try to implant in ourselves unceasing mental prayer, then we will achieve only one thing - we will find ourselves in satanic delusion. Of course, it would be wrong, in anticipation of complete humility, to postpone prayer altogether. You need to pray and humble yourself. We have enough reasons for humility. It is enough to look at ourselves sincerely and soberly - and we will see a complete ugliness, both in actions and in thoughts. And then, involuntarily, from the depths of your soul, you cry out: "Lord, I am perishing!" Of course, reading books is also necessary. The question of the Jesus Prayer is not simple, and the discussion of it has not ceased for centuries. There are different opinions among the Holy Fathers and ascetics of piety about how, to whom, and when one should turn to this podvig. However, I must admit that we, the parish clergy, speak little and reluctantly about the mental practice of the Jesus Prayer. And the point here is not in inertia and lack of spirituality, but in the fact that other problems are more relevant for us. What do I mean? Many of those who call themselves Christians have not yet tried to fight against their pride. We rise up against our neighbors because of an insignificant trifle, we murmur against God because He does not fulfill our coarse lusts. We are still very far from love. We should humbly follow the path of doing the commandments, enduring God's punishment for our sinfulness with gratitude. Through this, gradually, our heart can soften and open, then, it is possible, that Christ will hear our Jesus Prayer and will not punish us for our insolence, but will really have mercy on us. Reading is necessary, but one must be able to read conscientiously and attentively. A wonderful book "Frank Stories of a Pilgrim to His Spiritual Father" is widely known. Its author, possessing great spiritual experience, advises, among other things, to use mechanical repetition to acquire unceasing prayer. He asserts that mechanical repetition will eventually attract the mind to prayer, and then the heart will be attracted to the mind. But to what extent does this apply to our lives, to our spiritual experience? There is an episode in the book when the priest objects to the elder about the mechanical repetition of the name of God. He says that such a senseless repetition in one language is both sinful and harmful, that one must pray with attention, try to do it from the heart. The Elder replies that the objections would be completely justified if it were not for the unceasing practice of prayer. Exactly! When a person has completely devoted himself to such a podvig, has completely renounced the world, then in such a chosen one of God the promises of the Holy Fathers about speedy spiritual success, the acquisition of grace-filled prayer of the heart, will come true. We are not going this way. And we cannot go, for lack of love for God. If we want to compare ourselves with the great ascetics, then we must do it honestly. Whoever has read this book, let him remember how its hero lived before he embarked on his feat. From childhood he was a cripple, so many passions did not affect him. He was married, but he lived a chaste marriage with his wife. Every evening he and his young wife made a thousand prostrations before going to bed, so as not to be tempted at night. Thus he lived even before the Jesus Prayer. After the death of his wife, this man was so eager to learn unceasing prayer that for about a year he walked around Russia and sought a guide in prayer. As a result, he was vouchsafed a miraculous revelation from above, the Lord granted him a mentor - then his path of mental work, to which this book is dedicated, had just begun. Do not rush to compare yourself with great people. Our superficial imitation of other people's exploits reminds us of the following. If a girl answers her fiancé from the bottom of her heart: "I love you and agree to marry you", this is fine, but if she, like a wound-up doll, repeats incessantly: "I love you, I love you, I love you...", then she can anger her beloved. In the same way, a person who is subject to pride, filled with coarse passions, by constantly repeating the holy name, risks incurring the wrath of God. 160. By the Jesus Prayer and the sign of the Cross all the power of the enemy will be conveniently driven away. (65) The writings of the Holy Fathers are almost full of instructions on the Jesus Prayer, and I am often asked why the clergy of today do not preach much on this subject. In response, for the sake of persuasiveness, I will cite an oriental parable. One man came to another and asked if he had any scales to weigh the golden dust. And he answered: "I don't have a broom and a scoop." The first was surprised: "Why are you answering me so strangely?" and the second said: "I know that you will spill this sand, and you will need a broom and a dustpan, but I don't have them." Pray, of course, the more, the better. But the very approach to prayer should be prudent. With the right approach, I will see that I have taken it upon myself to pray the Jesus Prayer and I am not succeeding. I decided to devote myself completely to God, but I find that something prevents me from praying. And it is about what hinders us that we preach constantly. If I am attentive, I will see that, in the first place, my voluptuousness hinders me. I do not fast well, my body is not refined by fasting and is not able to participate in prayer, but only distracts me from it. Secondly, many of my worries and attachments prevent me from praying. I have a lot of work and family, God-given duties, unfortunately, there are things and worries that I invent for myself. As a result, my soul is attached to many different things, and therefore, when I begin to pray, my mind willy-nilly rushes to these very things, and prayer turns out to be impossible. All this could be dealt with if not for the third reason. You can increase abstinence in food. It's not that difficult. We know that many non-believers starve severely only for the sake of losing weight, the ascetics of Eastern religions strictly fast for the sake of their lustful desires to enter, as it seems to them, the highest spiritual states. In addition, it is possible to cut off many of our worries, to free ourselves from many things. Finally, you can go into the desert. Take a train, go to the wilderness, go to the mountains, retire - and live there. But there is something that you cannot run away from, something that you will have to fight with all your life. This is pride. We talk about this passion and will talk about it constantly, since it is it that makes us opponents of God. Pride is not a thought, I can think anything about myself. Pride is our deepest experience that we are something significant. That we present God almost as a gift with our prayer, that this is our feat, our worthy deed. This is what makes us vile before God. When pronouncing the holy words of the Jesus Prayer, asking the Lord for mercy, one must realize the meaning of the petition. Let us remember that we are condemned to death row, that by our sinful life we have condemned ourselves to death - eternal hellish torment. We need to acutely feel our doom, to understand that we are begging for mercy for ourselves. And we do it differently. Let us read the Jesus Prayer fifteen times and we have already forgotten everything, not only do we not need any mercy, but we feel ourselves worthy of crowns in the Kingdom of Heaven. So let us not be surprised when we are not given the gift of prayer. Taking pity on us, protecting us from eternal perdition, God grants true prayer only to the one who seeks it, abiding in a humble and repentant feeling. 161. The Jesus Prayer, after the Lord's Prayer, seems to be higher than all prayers; with it you speak directly and simply to the Lord... All the saints teach that the mind should always be exercised in prayer and not be separated from the memory of God. (54, 595) Many people turn to the priest with the question: "Can I practice the Jesus Prayer?" It should be noted that the question of how to practice the Jesus Prayer did not arise only for those people who have either reached the measure of true love, or do not care about their salvation at all, as well as for those who practice this prayer incorrectly. Everyone else sooner or later asks this question. But let's dwell on this word for now - to study. There is a great difference between when a person asks God for forgiveness from the bottom of his heart with these simple and great words: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner," and when he engages in the exercise of such a petition. In one case, it is prayer, in the other, it is the teaching of prayer. Both are necessary. These things are deeply intertwined with each other, but still, one should not confuse prayer of the heart and prayer-exercise. Of course, it is possible to pray in simplicity, calling on the Lord Jesus Christ for help, always and for everyone, if God gives. When it comes to exercises, one should first of all understand who we are talking about: ascetic ascetics or lay parishioners. In the first case, the monastic vocation is meant. The ancient editions of the Philokalia contain indications of special methods of working with the breath, of special positions of the body, of specific prayer rules, of ways of mastering attention, of bringing the mind to the heart, and so on. We are talking about auxiliary methods that accompany a special spiritual path that lofty ascetics follow in certain conditions, with absolute, of course, obedience to the elder, complete renunciation of their own will and of the world. A person called by God to such a feat must receive a special blessing from God and have an experienced mentor who has walked this path himself. Needless to say, this has nothing to do with us. We, the weak laity, need to learn the Jesus Prayer in accordance with our measure, with our dispensation. We should do this as St. Ignatius Brianchaninov teaches in his writings. And above all, remember that the very fact that we are only practicing prayer shows that we are still far from God, that we still love Him very little. Therefore, it is necessary to do this with a deep sense of repentance and humility. Then our studies will be pleasing to God. If we truly loved God, what kind of exercise would we be talking about? When a young man loves a girl, he simply says to her, "I love you," and does not practice saying these words. All of us, in one way or another, with great creaking, but still try to pray and, of course, stumble. If we read ten prayers a day, and even more so a hundred, then we are satisfied with ourselves. It's like a person who has broken his legs, gets out of bed for the first time, hobbles on crutches and is very proud of it. And what, in fact, is to be proud of - he is still only hobbling. This is the first thing. Secondly, if it goes fast, it remains to be seen if it is good. After all, it is important where he goes, in what direction. Perhaps it would have been better for him to lie down always, perhaps it would have been better to die than to walk fast. This also applies to our "feats". Otherwise, it would be better not to turn to God at all, because, having taken up spiritual work, he has come to extreme pride, such that he will have to regret that he was born. The Holy Fathers command us never to look for evil detours in order to acquire prayer, bypassing the path of doing God's commandments. No techniques, methods and methods can implant prayer in the human heart, since only God Himself can grant true heartfelt prayer. The Fathers warn: whoever tries to enter the bridal chamber of Christ by cunning or to break in by force, without being invited, without being ready and worthy, is cast out and severely punished. According to the teaching of the Holy Fathers, while our heart is silent and our mind is not yet collected, it is proper for us to pray orally. Verbal prayer will gradually attract the attention of the mind, if only to remain in humility. It is useful to remember that even the most holy words, but those uttered with the same mouth in the patristic understanding, are not prayer at all. This is only an exercise for our dead soul. When the soul comes to life a little and the mind is attracted to the words, this is already a prayer, but lame, hobbling on one leg, for God expects incomparably more from us - He waits for our heart to respond. If this feeble half-prayer is accompanied by a repentant mood, then the exercises are good for us. "The devil does not tolerate the fragrance of repentance. From the soul that emits this fragrance, the devil runs away with his charms," said St. Ignatius. Satan cannot lead a humble repentant into delusion. 162. For it is not falsely said that if grace touches it, then, having received such an imperishable treasure, you will no longer desire anything external. (14) It is not false, but it is not about us. Many are carried away by the dream of the consoling actions of grace described by the Holy Fathers, and rush to "engage" in prayer out of a thirst for pleasure, striving to receive them as soon as possible, naively waiting for fruit, when they have not yet sown seeds, not understanding that spiritual consolation, which only God can give, must necessarily be preceded by the hard work of true repentance. And any premature spiritual acquisition is unreliable and even dangerous. The work of repentance begins with the fact that a person must realize that he is unworthy of any pleasures and rewards, not to seek consolation and not to wait for it. The goal of our podvig should in no way be the acquisition and multiplication of sweet gifts. Our goal is repentance, reconciliation with God. Consolation can be given to us by the grace of God, but it is not necessary. One should not confuse oneself with the great ascetics, who are truly promised consolation in this life. The silent and hermits carry out the most difficult, above natural, podvig in the wilderness, in seclusion. For such people, in order to maintain their spiritual strength, it is useful to know that they will suffer for another ten years, endure, and then God will give them grace-filled consolation. Such a thought strengthens in the spiritual battle. But our situation has nothing to do with their lives. We do not carry out any feats at all, we live for our own pleasure in bodily comfort and entertainment. Therefore, there is nothing to strengthen and support us. It is also madness when a person seeks supernatural visions and apparitions in prayer. The thirst for miracles resembles what in the material world is known as a precancerous disease, an ailment that is about to degenerate into cancer, into a serious, fatal disease. The thirst for certain special experiences and states, visions and manifestations from above is the same precancerous disease in the spiritual life, it can be followed by an incurable delusion. Indulging in spiritual lust, we run the risk of attracting not an angel to ourselves, but a real demon. Such desires should be regarded as nothing other than a temptation and resolutely fight against them, then the Lord will save us from disaster. "One must first prove one's faithfulness to God by constancy and patience in prayerful labor, by discernment and cutting off of all passions," teaches St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, urging one to labor in prayer of repentance, in the fulfillment of the commandments. From us comes work, from God is grace. But when and to whom to give it is a matter of His holy will. In any case, we should neither wait nor seek consolation, this is absurd to us and offensive to God. Many, as we know, have been severely punished for taking up prayer with a proud desire to have some sweet and pleasant states. It is for this reason that some have fallen into delusion, others into complete destruction through suicide. In the words of St. Ignatius, "one must weep long and bitterly before spiritual action manifests itself in the soul," for the heart must be thoroughly crushed in repentance in order to open itself to grace-filled actions. In our country, it is still completely blocked, sealed by coarse passions, so it is not able to receive grace into itself. 163. Do not grieve that you have not yet built your spiritual temple, that you have not adorned it with good deeds, but ask the Lord. We cannot do anything good by ourselves, but we must ask Him for help: if the Lord does not build a house, those who build it in vain labor. (139) Such words discourage some, cause distrust in others, and yet they are words from the Holy Scriptures (Psalm 126:1). The Church teaches that man is incapable of doing anything truly good and pleasing to God on his own. Any good, and even prayer, if performed by a person without Divine participation, turns out to be a false, essentially antichrist deed, since the Antichrist is the one who is "instead of God." In the historical perspective, the Antichrist will be a person who tries to replace Christ with himself. First of all, we must strive to really unite with the Lord and allow Him to live and act in us. Otherwise, the most seemingly good deeds will actually turn out to be evil. A striking example of such "harmful good" is pseudo-healing by sorcerers, whose actions are always godless. Is it a good treatment in which the patient's leg recovers for a while, but at the same time the soul dies forever?! The understanding that we ourselves, without God, cannot do anything good, should be experienced, not bookish. If a person reads in a book that he cannot do anything good on his own and gives up: well, I cannot and will not do anything, then this is pernicious negligence, and not at all salvific humility. We must put all our strength into working on our souls, we must try to do good, act according to the commandments, and accustom ourselves to prayer. And when we are convinced by experience that nothing is working out for us properly, when we come to know our weakness, when we feel the complete hopelessness of our situation, then we will sincerely and wholeheartedly cry out: "Lord, there has been nothing good in me and there is nothing good, I am trying, and nothing is working, but I hope for your mercy." This is the right mood of the worshipper.