Trust in God must be absolute * The Lord does not fulfill the requests, so that we do not cease to ask * "Whoever has not been to the sea, does not pray fervently to God" * Cutting off one's will opens the heart to prayer * God deprives us of gifts in order to protect us from pride * "As the soul is to the body, so attention is to prayer" * Even behind wise thoughts demons can hide * We are struck by the passion of empty thinking * Prayer without humility is displeasing to God * Prayers are not invented - they are given by the Holy Spirit * The matter is in the hands, Prayer on the lips * Is the Jesus Prayer dangerous? * What does it mean to practice the Jesus Prayer * "The devil does not tolerate the fragrance of repentance" * It is madness to seek supernatural visions * Spiritual lust attracts not an angel, but a demon * 148. He cries out to all: "Call upon Me in the day of thy affliction, and punish thee" (Psalm 49:15); call not with doubt, but with faith. (21) God turns to each of us so that when we are in sorrow, when our hearts are heavy, we turn to Him, and He will help us. And this is the real experience of all the ascetics of piety, of all the saints. We do not have this in our experience, because we do not turn to God or because we do not have patience. We think that I have said two words to God and He will immediately run and fulfill all my desires. Why on earth? God loves us as children, but we, not loving Him, put ourselves in the position of His slaves and almost enemies. Is it a presumptuous slave-enemy to expect that a powerful Master will immediately fulfill his whims, often ridiculous and even sinful? One must turn to God with all one's good desire, but at the same time, being aware of one's unworthiness, be prepared in advance that the desire may not be fulfilled at the time or in the way I would like, or not at all, if it is harmful to me. And besides, don't be disingenuous with yourself. I often hear Christians murmur against God: "I prayed, but nothing has changed, so it is useless to pray." And the point is that our trust in God should be absolute, not limited by any conditions or terms. It is naïve to expect that I will pray for two weeks and my son will stop drinking. Such a calculation completely makes prayer meaningless. It is necessary to pray for loved ones. But you need to tune in, pray for them all your life. It is absurd to set your own deadlines for God. We are sent by Him to this temporary world to pray and prepare ourselves for the Kingdom of Heaven, to pray for our lost relatives, who have fallen away from the Church, who are mired in mortal sins. But when and how God will respond to our prayer, we cannot know in advance. Everything is the will of God, before which one can only humble oneself. Prayer is not a heavy duty, prayer is a natural state of the human soul, and bargaining with God is absurd. It happens that the Lord deliberately does not fulfill our prayer requests, so that we do not stop praying. We are so frivolous, our souls are so down-to-earth, that if we receive anything from worldly goods, we immediately forget about prayer, about God. That is why the Lord sends us needs and sorrows, and sometimes He "does not hear" our requests, urging us to further more persistent and persistent prayerful feat. 149. It is said, "Whoever has not been to the sea, has not prayed earnestly to God; And are not the worries of life the same? Where there is more agitation, where there is more confusion, then we have recourse to God. (55) A very wise proverb. Whoever has not experienced sorrows, who has not been in difficult circumstances, does not know prayer. God sends us all kinds of temptations in order to teach us to turn to Him, that is, to teach us to pray. If we could live piously and turn to God in prayer, without waiting for temptations and worries, the Lord would not send them, He would give us every consolation already in temporal life. But since we are so weak that we cannot stand in love for God, He has to allow us many temptations. We are not able, when everything is good and calm with us, to retain the memory of God and the feeling of gratitude to Him. And only in difficult moments do we begin to turn to God. This is the only way to teach us prayer and prepare us for the Kingdom of Heaven. "Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit," said the Apostle Paul. We have a duty to be priests in this temple, to serve in it, to be in the altar, which is the heart, and to make a prayer sacrifice there. But we, who are busy with earthly affairs, neglect our calling. Our church is empty and abandoned, and the entrance to it is littered with piles of rubbish - a multitude of sinful addictions block our access to the shrine. 150. Otherwise, we stand and contemplate something earthly in the distraction of our thoughts—this is labor without benefit, like a tree without fruit. (53) I would say that this is not quite true. If we are scattered, and when we come to our senses, we humble ourselves, repenting and reproaching ourselves, then there is already some benefit from this. One should not think that he defended the service in the diaspora - he went to church in vain. If I hadn't gone to church, I would have been even more scattered at home. It is bad when a person comes to church, stands for three hours absent-minded, and thinks that he has done some good deed, that he has pleased God. This is hypocrisy, this is pride. Without the participation of the person himself, even the prayers of the great saints will not be able to help him. In the Old Testament there is an example of two sinful kings – David and Saul, for whom the holy prophets prayed: Nathan for the first, and Samuel for the second. Why did David receive forgiveness and Saul did not? St. Demetrius of Rostov explains that he was the first to pray, weep, sprinkle ashes on his head, dissolve drink with tears, eat ashes like bread, and from midnight he stood up to pray. That is why he received forgiveness. Saul, on the other hand, only drank, ate, and made merry. He was not a participant in the prayer that the saint offered up for him. And without a person's personal repentance, even the prayers of the saints for him are powerless. This is an instructive example for all of us, so that we do not rely too much on God's mercy. God is almighty, but He does not take away our freedom. If we ourselves do not struggle with the passions, if we do not ask for help, He does not forcibly drive us into the Kingdom of Heaven. Our participation should consist first of all in the fact that we concentrate all our selfless efforts on the rejection of self-will. Our heart is open to prayer to the extent that we, with God's help, succeed in cutting off our will. St. Ignatius Brianchaninov teaches this: "If a person does not first purify himself by cutting off his will, then the true prayerful action will never be revealed in him." Prayer, in fact, is the merging of our will with the Divine will. Merging not in the sense that the human will disappears, as some heretics, both ancient and modern, teach, but in the sense that it is completely in accord with the will of God. 151. The beginning of prayer consists in repelling extraneous thoughts that come to us at their first encounter with the mind. The middle is when our thought is immersed in the only thing that we read. Its perfection is the rapture of our whole soul to God. (518) Everyone who wants to follow the spiritual path should begin with this: to drive away the thoughts that come during prayer and to return the mind to prayer again and again. When God sees our progress in humility and our diligence in prayer, He grants attention, then a person is completely focused on the content of the prayer, and no extraneous thoughts disturb him. Let us not forget that attentive prayer is precisely a gift of God. Until the Lord gives it to us, we will not be able to achieve prayerful attention by our own efforts, no matter what methods and "techniques" we use. All attempts to arbitrarily seize attention will either give no result, or will lead to a state of self-deception, to delusion. The rapture of the soul to God is already the pinnacle, the fruit of spiritual life. Most of those who enter the Kingdom of Heaven receive this gift when the soul leaves the body, not before. This is explained not by the whim of God, but by our weakness. God could give us perfect prayer at any time, but we are too prone to vanity. If the Lord were to place us now before His throne, we would never refrain from sinful thoughts: they say, how good we are, what a reward we have been vouchsafed. And it would all end with the fact that because of pride we would be cast down to the bottom of hell. Sparing and protecting us, God does not give us high gifts. But if we remain in podvig, if we humbly endure our base, scattered state, then He will not abandon us, and at the departure of the soul from the body we will receive as a gift a perfect prayer, without which there can be no Kingdom of Heaven, which is the Kingdom of Heaven. However, the topic of perfection is not yet relevant for us, we should be concerned about the problem of attention. "As the soul is to the body, attention is to prayer," "without attention, prayer is dead" – this is how the Holy Fathers said about prayer. A beginner does not control his attention, success is achieved only through practice. Having begun to pray in absent-mindedness, the mind is gradually drawn to the action of prayer, the soul seems to become accustomed to prayer. The well-known patristic recommendation "Enclose your mind in the words of prayer" means nothing else than "Pray with attention." The confinement of the mind in the spoken words is required both in mental prayer in the name of Jesus, and in the oral reading of akathists and psalms. The reason why we usually do not have attentive prayer is again our pride. With people like us, it does not happen otherwise - if the Lord grants us even a little attention in prayer, we immediately fall into complacency. And this is instead of thanking God for the fact that I, unworthy, who do not love Him, have been given the opportunity to pray, for the fact that He did not reject me like this, but condescended and communed with me in prayer. Paradoxically, the lack of attention is no less dangerous for us, and all for the same reason. Even a prayer performed without attention, especially a long one, can lead us into pride. Such an essentially meaningless activity as an absent-minded reading of several canons already encourages a person to think of himself: "I am an ascetic." This pernicious secret thought creeps up unnoticed and captivates. It is clear that for this reason prayerful attention can only be given to the humble. 152. When we read a prayer with our lips, and our mind wanders far away, it is evident that we do not stand before God. (520) This refers to those times when we think of something pious and useful, which in itself is not bad. But, however, this is not prayer. The Holy Fathers do not advise during prayer to be distracted even by useful thoughts, even by wise and seemingly good ones, because demons often hide behind them. True, this does not apply to us, but to lofty men of prayer, it is to them that the demons prompt lofty and wise thoughts. Of course, they do not wage such a battle with us, we are visited not by demonic thoughts, but by our own most ordinary worldly thoughts. In such cases, you need to turn to God as soon as possible: "Lord, help me pray now, and then, with Your help, I will do the necessary things." 153. The mind or spirit flies within us so quickly that in an instant we can imagine what we have seen or heard; But why should we deal with empty things? (520) This applies not only to the time of prayer, but to any moment. We are struck by the passion of empty thinking. We all think that we are thinking about something very important, but if we look carefully at the fruits of our reflections, we will see that all this is empty. But we do not have enough time for what we really need to think about. If we consider our worldly problems, it is not through the commandments of God, but through our passions, which aggravates our sinfulness. It would be better not to think about anything at all. 154. Do not say or think that you cannot pray in confusion. (526) Here is the abyss of our deceit, here are the demons, here everyone around is to blame. I was offended - therefore I sin. They didn't respect me - I drank. If there were conditions, I would pray to God. Because I live in a communal apartment, and I don't have icons, and my children are noisy, and my pension is not enough... But let us look at the Holy Fathers. All of them lived in the most difficult conditions. And the harsher the conditions, the better their prayer was. This is the law. There is a story about a man who, while in a concentration camp, reached despair. St. Seraphim of Sarov appeared to him and said that the ascetics themselves sought such conditions, voluntarily went into the wilderness, into seclusion, and they were created for you – why are you complaining? This man was emboldened and with gratitude endured all the horrors that God allowed him. 155. With mental prayer one must also combine oral prayer. The enemy is afraid of the very words of prayer. One said: I don't understand in my mind what I'm reading. You do not understand, answered the elder, but the enemy understands. (521) The combination of mental prayer with oral prayer is not necessary, but it can be useful. The mind should be collected in the most convenient way. If the mind gathers better in silence, then it means praying silently. If oral prayer helps, then combine mental prayer with oral prayer. In case of distraction, in some temptations, when it is difficult to gather one's mind, it is useful, if circumstances permit, simply to pray aloud. In this way, our attention is drawn to prayer, our mind calms down and begins to pray, and the heart is disposed to prayer. Of course, if a person who prays with only his lips begins to imagine himself to be a man of prayer, he is mistaken. But if we pray orally, sincerely reproaching ourselves for distraction, such a prayer is the fruit of a heartfelt disposition towards God, and God accepts it. 156. One must listen and follow with one's mind what is read and sung in church, and the soul is watered, or prays: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." After all, if only the mind was with God, otherwise wherever it stands, as long as it is with God. (57) Indeed, as much as possible, while standing in church or reading prayers at home, it is necessary to mentally observe what is read and sung. If this fails, then during the service you should pray silently to yourself with Jesus ("Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner") or any other short prayer. If this does not work out, then at least humble yourself, recognize your weakness, reproach yourself and repent. I often hear that someone has chosen a place in the church, it is his favorite. He was asked to leave this place - the person is upset, embarrassed. In fact, wherever we are, in a convenient place or in an inconvenient one, whether we are pushed or not, whether candles are passed through us or not, if we are with God in our souls, then we will participate in the service. And if we stand even at the throne of God, and our heart is somewhere aside, we will find ourselves outside the service. Not only the place in the church, but everything external in general has its meaning exclusively as a means called to help prayer. "For the podvig of prayer, all other feats are undertaken as servile to him," wrote St. Ignatius Brianchaninov. Otherwise, external feats can only bring harm. If a person only fasts, or only limits himself in sleep, or only makes prostrations, and at the same time does not pray, then such asceticism is senseless and destructive. 157. The Apostle says: "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), not only standing and bowing, but constantly having the Lord within us. (53) This, of course, is the most important and repeated instruction of many Holy Fathers, that the commandment "Pray without ceasing" is given to all people. This does not mean that you need to stand day and night in front of icons and sing psalms or travel, for example, in a bus and make prostrations there, read akathists and canons aloud. It is about the unceasing remembrance of God. Mental cry to God should, as far as possible, not be interrupted during the day and accompany any of our activities. This applies to everyone: to monks and laypeople, to those who have succeeded in the spiritual life and those who are just beginning it. We must try to remember God all the time. There is no such situation in life when a person needs to forget about God. And the memory of God is prayer. Without a doubt, this is not easy. In such a case, it is desirable to have the help of an experienced spiritual mentor. Too often, the attitude toward prayer turns out to be wrong. One of these irregularities is that in the morning you read a short rule, in the evening - a short evening rule, before communion once every six months - several prayers, and that's it. Another mistake is to read a lot of prayers, but without due attention. Both are Pharisees: I have given God everything that is due, and I can no longer remember Him. In reality, of course, God needs our hearts, not debts. There is another misconception - a person believes that since he believes in Christ, then he can immediately take up great prayerful feats. Often this is simply due to inexperience. Then God admonishes a person, either through people or by some mild punishment. And it also happens out of pride, when a person believes that he is better and higher than everyone else and that the instructions of St. Ignatius Brianchaninov and Theophan the Recluse are not written for him, and he throws himself into ascetic deeds that do not correspond to his spiritual state at all. For great deeds, great humility is needed first of all. If it exists, then the Lord knows how to instruct such a person and what deeds to indicate to him: great, medium, or small. A proud person is not ready for anything. Except for destruction. He first needs to learn to humble himself. It's not that he has to wait: first I'll humble myself, then I'll start praying. We must pray in any state, but first of all we need to ask: "Lord, give me humility" - and inwardly prepare ourselves for temptations and sorrows that will really humble us. The Bible says that God settled man in paradise to cultivate and preserve it. The Holy Fathers explain that the paradise of the heart is cultivated by prayer, and preserved by humility. It happens that a person, starting a spiritual life, establishes a prayer rule for himself. At first he is happy: today I have read five hundred Jesus prayers, tomorrow I will read six hundred, and in a week - two thousand. And it happens that a week later he no longer reads a single prayer, but drinks vodka with friends. This is what is bad about jealousy that is not according to reason. But if this person has seriously decided to become a Christian, then thanks to such falls he can recognize his weakness and humble himself. The main thing is not to depart from God. If we try to keep our mental standing before God, He Himself will begin to teach us to pray and show us what we are doing wrong. Gradually, it will be revealed to us that prayer without humility is displeasing to God. To help us, the Lord will guide us through various temptations. In this way, gradually humbling us, the Lord will teach us everything, if only we would retain zeal and mental aspiration to Him.

Part 2

158. As for prayer, every prayer is pleasing to the Lord; The Holy Fathers learned not to plunder the mind, in this prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner," walking, sitting and doing whatever." (145) As for the Jesus Prayer – "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" – it must be said that it is not for nothing that it is especially singled out by the Holy Fathers as a highly concentrated, powerful prayer. And in a sense, dangerous. It happens that an unprepared person takes up the "mental" Jesus Prayer, and his heart is still cold, it would be better for him to warm his heart for the time being by reading touching akathists and canons with all possible attention, but he dares to take up this sword of mental work, which is not yet within his power, and, figuratively speaking, wounds himself with it. Therefore, there must be caution, reasoning and guidance from the mentor. One should not neglect the usual prayers, otherwise some, having revered the Holy Fathers and misunderstood some of their statements, decide that the prayer books were not written for them, but for some uncultured, little spiritual people. In reality, the form of prayer should correspond to the spiritual measure and spiritual makeup of a person, therefore, when establishing prayer rules for yourself, it is necessary to consult with the clergy whom you trust. The prayers from the Prayer Book are very lofty and still far from corresponding to our inner structure, because they poured out from the hearts of the great saints. God gave them to write down these prayers so that we could learn to pray according to them, so that when we read them attentively, our heart would be tuned and come to that humble state of repentance that the Holy Fathers had. When praying in one's own words, one should not be particularly concerned about the correctness of the wording. The simpler the better. Writing is a matter that has nothing to do with prayer. Prayers are not invented - they are given by the Holy Spirit. When a child is dangerously ill, the mother does not compose anything. She simply and clearly asks God: "Lord, help, save my child!" 159. Whether you are engaged in needlework or walking, have the Jesus Prayer on your lips... Everything is sanctified by prayer. The matter is in the hands, the prayer is on the lips. (525) This is the general instruction of the Holy Fathers, which at first glance seems simple. But here is what we need to consider. For example, someone who has read one or two books about the Jesus Prayer believes that the path is now clear to him: you begin oral prayer, it will soon turn into mental prayer, and then the heartfelt prayer will appear by itself. And so it happens, but on condition that a person spends many years in severe self-restraint, hard work, complete obedience to the elder, endures, with gratitude to God, illnesses and sorrows. And when the soul is humbled, when the heart is broken and all arrogance is destroyed, then a heartfelt prayer comes to the ascetic. And we have to start over.

If, in our insane state (in malice, condemnation, murmuring), we try to implant in ourselves unceasing mental prayer, then we will achieve only one thing - we will find ourselves in satanic delusion. Of course, it would be wrong, in anticipation of complete humility, to postpone prayer altogether. You need to pray and humble yourself. We have enough reasons for humility. It is enough to look at ourselves sincerely and soberly - and we will see a complete ugliness, both in actions and in thoughts. And then, involuntarily, from the depths of your soul, you cry out: "Lord, I am perishing!" Of course, reading books is also necessary. The question of the Jesus Prayer is not simple, and the discussion of it has not ceased for centuries. There are different opinions among the Holy Fathers and ascetics of piety about how, to whom, and when one should turn to this podvig. However, I must admit that we, the parish clergy, speak little and reluctantly about the mental practice of the Jesus Prayer. And the point here is not in inertia and lack of spirituality, but in the fact that other problems are more relevant for us. What do I mean? Many of those who call themselves Christians have not yet tried to fight against their pride. We rise up against our neighbors because of an insignificant trifle, we murmur against God because He does not fulfill our coarse lusts. We are still very far from love. We should humbly follow the path of doing the commandments, enduring God's punishment for our sinfulness with gratitude. Through this, gradually, our heart can soften and open, then, it is possible, that Christ will hear our Jesus Prayer and will not punish us for our insolence, but will really have mercy on us. Reading is necessary, but one must be able to read conscientiously and attentively. A wonderful book "Frank Stories of a Pilgrim to His Spiritual Father" is widely known. Its author, possessing great spiritual experience, advises, among other things, to use mechanical repetition to acquire unceasing prayer. He asserts that mechanical repetition will eventually attract the mind to prayer, and then the heart will be attracted to the mind. But to what extent does this apply to our lives, to our spiritual experience? There is an episode in the book when the priest objects to the elder about the mechanical repetition of the name of God. He says that such a senseless repetition in one language is both sinful and harmful, that one must pray with attention, try to do it from the heart. The Elder replies that the objections would be completely justified if it were not for the unceasing practice of prayer. Exactly! When a person has completely devoted himself to such a podvig, has completely renounced the world, then in such a chosen one of God the promises of the Holy Fathers about speedy spiritual success, the acquisition of grace-filled prayer of the heart, will come true. We are not going this way. And we cannot go, for lack of love for God. If we want to compare ourselves with the great ascetics, then we must do it honestly. Whoever has read this book, let him remember how its hero lived before he embarked on his feat. From childhood he was a cripple, so many passions did not affect him. He was married, but he lived a chaste marriage with his wife. Every evening he and his young wife made a thousand prostrations before going to bed, so as not to be tempted at night. Thus he lived even before the Jesus Prayer. After the death of his wife, this man was so eager to learn unceasing prayer that for about a year he walked around Russia and sought a guide in prayer. As a result, he was vouchsafed a miraculous revelation from above, the Lord granted him a mentor - then his path of mental work, to which this book is dedicated, had just begun. Do not rush to compare yourself with great people. Our superficial imitation of other people's exploits reminds us of the following. If a girl answers her fiancé from the bottom of her heart: "I love you and agree to marry you", this is fine, but if she, like a wound-up doll, repeats incessantly: "I love you, I love you, I love you...", then she can anger her beloved. In the same way, a person who is subject to pride, filled with coarse passions, by constantly repeating the holy name, risks incurring the wrath of God. 160. By the Jesus Prayer and the sign of the Cross all the power of the enemy will be conveniently driven away. (65) The writings of the Holy Fathers are almost full of instructions on the Jesus Prayer, and I am often asked why the clergy of today do not preach much on this subject. In response, for the sake of persuasiveness, I will cite an oriental parable. One man came to another and asked if he had any scales to weigh the golden dust. And he answered: "I don't have a broom and a scoop." The first was surprised: "Why are you answering me so strangely?" and the second said: "I know that you will spill this sand, and you will need a broom and a dustpan, but I don't have them." Pray, of course, the more, the better. But the very approach to prayer should be prudent. With the right approach, I will see that I have taken it upon myself to pray the Jesus Prayer and I am not succeeding. I decided to devote myself completely to God, but I find that something prevents me from praying. And it is about what hinders us that we preach constantly. If I am attentive, I will see that, in the first place, my voluptuousness hinders me. I do not fast well, my body is not refined by fasting and is not able to participate in prayer, but only distracts me from it. Secondly, many of my worries and attachments prevent me from praying. I have a lot of work and family, God-given duties, unfortunately, there are things and worries that I invent for myself. As a result, my soul is attached to many different things, and therefore, when I begin to pray, my mind willy-nilly rushes to these very things, and prayer turns out to be impossible. All this could be dealt with if not for the third reason. You can increase abstinence in food. It's not that difficult. We know that many non-believers starve severely only for the sake of losing weight, the ascetics of Eastern religions strictly fast for the sake of their lustful desires to enter, as it seems to them, the highest spiritual states. In addition, it is possible to cut off many of our worries, to free ourselves from many things. Finally, you can go into the desert. Take a train, go to the wilderness, go to the mountains, retire - and live there. But there is something that you cannot run away from, something that you will have to fight with all your life. This is pride. We talk about this passion and will talk about it constantly, since it is it that makes us opponents of God. Pride is not a thought, I can think anything about myself. Pride is our deepest experience that we are something significant. That we present God almost as a gift with our prayer, that this is our feat, our worthy deed. This is what makes us vile before God. When pronouncing the holy words of the Jesus Prayer, asking the Lord for mercy, one must realize the meaning of the petition. Let us remember that we are condemned to death row, that by our sinful life we have condemned ourselves to death - eternal hellish torment. We need to acutely feel our doom, to understand that we are begging for mercy for ourselves. And we do it differently. Let us read the Jesus Prayer fifteen times and we have already forgotten everything, not only do we not need any mercy, but we feel ourselves worthy of crowns in the Kingdom of Heaven. So let us not be surprised when we are not given the gift of prayer. Taking pity on us, protecting us from eternal perdition, God grants true prayer only to the one who seeks it, abiding in a humble and repentant feeling. 161. The Jesus Prayer, after the Lord's Prayer, seems to be higher than all prayers; with it you speak directly and simply to the Lord... All the saints teach that the mind should always be exercised in prayer and not be separated from the memory of God. (54, 595) Many people turn to the priest with the question: "Can I practice the Jesus Prayer?" It should be noted that the question of how to practice the Jesus Prayer did not arise only for those people who have either reached the measure of true love, or do not care about their salvation at all, as well as for those who practice this prayer incorrectly. Everyone else sooner or later asks this question. But let's dwell on this word for now - to study. There is a great difference between when a person asks God for forgiveness from the bottom of his heart with these simple and great words: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner," and when he engages in the exercise of such a petition. In one case, it is prayer, in the other, it is the teaching of prayer. Both are necessary. These things are deeply intertwined with each other, but still, one should not confuse prayer of the heart and prayer-exercise. Of course, it is possible to pray in simplicity, calling on the Lord Jesus Christ for help, always and for everyone, if God gives. When it comes to exercises, one should first of all understand who we are talking about: ascetic ascetics or lay parishioners. In the first case, the monastic vocation is meant. The ancient editions of the Philokalia contain indications of special methods of working with the breath, of special positions of the body, of specific prayer rules, of ways of mastering attention, of bringing the mind to the heart, and so on. We are talking about auxiliary methods that accompany a special spiritual path that lofty ascetics follow in certain conditions, with absolute, of course, obedience to the elder, complete renunciation of their own will and of the world. A person called by God to such a feat must receive a special blessing from God and have an experienced mentor who has walked this path himself. Needless to say, this has nothing to do with us. We, the weak laity, need to learn the Jesus Prayer in accordance with our measure, with our dispensation. We should do this as St. Ignatius Brianchaninov teaches in his writings. And above all, remember that the very fact that we are only practicing prayer shows that we are still far from God, that we still love Him very little. Therefore, it is necessary to do this with a deep sense of repentance and humility. Then our studies will be pleasing to God. If we truly loved God, what kind of exercise would we be talking about? When a young man loves a girl, he simply says to her, "I love you," and does not practice saying these words. All of us, in one way or another, with great creaking, but still try to pray and, of course, stumble. If we read ten prayers a day, and even more so a hundred, then we are satisfied with ourselves. It's like a person who has broken his legs, gets out of bed for the first time, hobbles on crutches and is very proud of it. And what, in fact, is to be proud of - he is still only hobbling. This is the first thing. Secondly, if it goes fast, it remains to be seen if it is good. After all, it is important where he goes, in what direction. Perhaps it would have been better for him to lie down always, perhaps it would have been better to die than to walk fast. This also applies to our "feats". Otherwise, it would be better not to turn to God at all, because, having taken up spiritual work, he has come to extreme pride, such that he will have to regret that he was born. The Holy Fathers command us never to look for evil detours in order to acquire prayer, bypassing the path of doing God's commandments. No techniques, methods and methods can implant prayer in the human heart, since only God Himself can grant true heartfelt prayer. The Fathers warn: whoever tries to enter the bridal chamber of Christ by cunning or to break in by force, without being invited, without being ready and worthy, is cast out and severely punished. According to the teaching of the Holy Fathers, while our heart is silent and our mind is not yet collected, it is proper for us to pray orally. Verbal prayer will gradually attract the attention of the mind, if only to remain in humility. It is useful to remember that even the most holy words, but those uttered with the same mouth in the patristic understanding, are not prayer at all. This is only an exercise for our dead soul. When the soul comes to life a little and the mind is attracted to the words, this is already a prayer, but lame, hobbling on one leg, for God expects incomparably more from us - He waits for our heart to respond. If this feeble half-prayer is accompanied by a repentant mood, then the exercises are good for us. "The devil does not tolerate the fragrance of repentance. From the soul that emits this fragrance, the devil runs away with his charms," said St. Ignatius. Satan cannot lead a humble repentant into delusion. 162. For it is not falsely said that if grace touches it, then, having received such an imperishable treasure, you will no longer desire anything external. (14) It is not false, but it is not about us. Many are carried away by the dream of the consoling actions of grace described by the Holy Fathers, and rush to "engage" in prayer out of a thirst for pleasure, striving to receive them as soon as possible, naively waiting for fruit, when they have not yet sown seeds, not understanding that spiritual consolation, which only God can give, must necessarily be preceded by the hard work of true repentance. And any premature spiritual acquisition is unreliable and even dangerous. The work of repentance begins with the fact that a person must realize that he is unworthy of any pleasures and rewards, not to seek consolation and not to wait for it. The goal of our podvig should in no way be the acquisition and multiplication of sweet gifts. Our goal is repentance, reconciliation with God. Consolation can be given to us by the grace of God, but it is not necessary. One should not confuse oneself with the great ascetics, who are truly promised consolation in this life. The silent and hermits carry out the most difficult, above natural, podvig in the wilderness, in seclusion. For such people, in order to maintain their spiritual strength, it is useful to know that they will suffer for another ten years, endure, and then God will give them grace-filled consolation. Such a thought strengthens in the spiritual battle. But our situation has nothing to do with their lives. We do not carry out any feats at all, we live for our own pleasure in bodily comfort and entertainment. Therefore, there is nothing to strengthen and support us. It is also madness when a person seeks supernatural visions and apparitions in prayer. The thirst for miracles resembles what in the material world is known as a precancerous disease, an ailment that is about to degenerate into cancer, into a serious, fatal disease. The thirst for certain special experiences and states, visions and manifestations from above is the same precancerous disease in the spiritual life, it can be followed by an incurable delusion. Indulging in spiritual lust, we run the risk of attracting not an angel to ourselves, but a real demon. Such desires should be regarded as nothing other than a temptation and resolutely fight against them, then the Lord will save us from disaster. "One must first prove one's faithfulness to God by constancy and patience in prayerful labor, by discernment and cutting off of all passions," teaches St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, urging one to labor in prayer of repentance, in the fulfillment of the commandments. From us comes work, from God is grace. But when and to whom to give it is a matter of His holy will. In any case, we should neither wait nor seek consolation, this is absurd to us and offensive to God. Many, as we know, have been severely punished for taking up prayer with a proud desire to have some sweet and pleasant states. It is for this reason that some have fallen into delusion, others into complete destruction through suicide. In the words of St. Ignatius, "one must weep long and bitterly before spiritual action manifests itself in the soul," for the heart must be thoroughly crushed in repentance in order to open itself to grace-filled actions. In our country, it is still completely blocked, sealed by coarse passions, so it is not able to receive grace into itself. 163. Do not grieve that you have not yet built your spiritual temple, that you have not adorned it with good deeds, but ask the Lord. We cannot do anything good by ourselves, but we must ask Him for help: if the Lord does not build a house, those who build it in vain labor. (139) Such words discourage some, cause distrust in others, and yet they are words from the Holy Scriptures (Psalm 126:1). The Church teaches that man is incapable of doing anything truly good and pleasing to God on his own. Any good, and even prayer, if performed by a person without Divine participation, turns out to be a false, essentially antichrist deed, since the Antichrist is the one who is "instead of God." In the historical perspective, the Antichrist will be a person who tries to replace Christ with himself. First of all, we must strive to really unite with the Lord and allow Him to live and act in us. Otherwise, the most seemingly good deeds will actually turn out to be evil. A striking example of such "harmful good" is pseudo-healing by sorcerers, whose actions are always godless. Is it a good treatment in which the patient's leg recovers for a while, but at the same time the soul dies forever?! The understanding that we ourselves, without God, cannot do anything good, should be experienced, not bookish. If a person reads in a book that he cannot do anything good on his own and gives up: well, I cannot and will not do anything, then this is pernicious negligence, and not at all salvific humility. We must put all our strength into working on our souls, we must try to do good, act according to the commandments, and accustom ourselves to prayer. And when we are convinced by experience that nothing is working out for us properly, when we come to know our weakness, when we feel the complete hopelessness of our situation, then we will sincerely and wholeheartedly cry out: "Lord, there has been nothing good in me and there is nothing good, I am trying, and nothing is working, but I hope for your mercy." This is the right mood of the worshipper.

Thoughts

158. As for prayer, every prayer is pleasing to the Lord; The Holy Fathers learned not to plunder the mind, in this prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner," walking, sitting and doing whatever." (145) As for the Jesus Prayer – "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" – it must be said that it is not for nothing that it is especially singled out by the Holy Fathers as a highly concentrated, powerful prayer. And in a sense, dangerous. It happens that an unprepared person takes up the "mental" Jesus Prayer, and his heart is still cold, it would be better for him to warm his heart for the time being by reading touching akathists and canons with all possible attention, but he dares to take up this sword of mental work, which is not yet within his power, and, figuratively speaking, wounds himself with it. Therefore, there must be caution, reasoning and guidance from the mentor. One should not neglect the usual prayers, otherwise some, having revered the Holy Fathers and misunderstood some of their statements, decide that the prayer books were not written for them, but for some uncultured, little spiritual people. In reality, the form of prayer should correspond to the spiritual measure and spiritual makeup of a person, therefore, when establishing prayer rules for yourself, it is necessary to consult with the clergy whom you trust. The prayers from the Prayer Book are very lofty and still far from corresponding to our inner structure, because they poured out from the hearts of the great saints. God gave them to write down these prayers so that we could learn to pray according to them, so that when we read them attentively, our heart would be tuned and come to that humble state of repentance that the Holy Fathers had. When praying in one's own words, one should not be particularly concerned about the correctness of the wording. The simpler the better. Writing is a matter that has nothing to do with prayer. Prayers are not invented - they are given by the Holy Spirit. When a child is dangerously ill, the mother does not compose anything. She simply and clearly asks God: "Lord, help, save my child!" 159. Whether you are engaged in needlework or walking, have the Jesus Prayer on your lips... Everything is sanctified by prayer. The matter is in the hands, the prayer is on the lips. (525) This is the general instruction of the Holy Fathers, which at first glance seems simple. But here is what we need to consider. For example, someone who has read one or two books about the Jesus Prayer believes that the path is now clear to him: you begin oral prayer, it will soon turn into mental prayer, and then the heartfelt prayer will appear by itself. And so it happens, but on condition that a person spends many years in severe self-restraint, hard work, complete obedience to the elder, endures, with gratitude to God, illnesses and sorrows. And when the soul is humbled, when the heart is broken and all arrogance is destroyed, then a heartfelt prayer comes to the ascetic. And we have to start over.

If, in our insane state (in malice, condemnation, murmuring), we try to implant in ourselves unceasing mental prayer, then we will achieve only one thing - we will find ourselves in satanic delusion. Of course, it would be wrong, in anticipation of complete humility, to postpone prayer altogether. You need to pray and humble yourself. We have enough reasons for humility. It is enough to look at ourselves sincerely and soberly - and we will see a complete ugliness, both in actions and in thoughts. And then, involuntarily, from the depths of your soul, you cry out: "Lord, I am perishing!" Of course, reading books is also necessary. The question of the Jesus Prayer is not simple, and the discussion of it has not ceased for centuries. There are different opinions among the Holy Fathers and ascetics of piety about how, to whom, and when one should turn to this podvig. However, I must admit that we, the parish clergy, speak little and reluctantly about the mental practice of the Jesus Prayer. And the point here is not in inertia and lack of spirituality, but in the fact that other problems are more relevant for us. What do I mean? Many of those who call themselves Christians have not yet tried to fight against their pride. We rise up against our neighbors because of an insignificant trifle, we murmur against God because He does not fulfill our coarse lusts. We are still very far from love. We should humbly follow the path of doing the commandments, enduring God's punishment for our sinfulness with gratitude. Through this, gradually, our heart can soften and open, then, it is possible, that Christ will hear our Jesus Prayer and will not punish us for our insolence, but will really have mercy on us. Reading is necessary, but one must be able to read conscientiously and attentively. A wonderful book "Frank Stories of a Pilgrim to His Spiritual Father" is widely known. Its author, possessing great spiritual experience, advises, among other things, to use mechanical repetition to acquire unceasing prayer. He asserts that mechanical repetition will eventually attract the mind to prayer, and then the heart will be attracted to the mind. But to what extent does this apply to our lives, to our spiritual experience? There is an episode in the book when the priest objects to the elder about the mechanical repetition of the name of God. He says that such a senseless repetition in one language is both sinful and harmful, that one must pray with attention, try to do it from the heart. The Elder replies that the objections would be completely justified if it were not for the unceasing practice of prayer. Exactly! When a person has completely devoted himself to such a podvig, has completely renounced the world, then in such a chosen one of God the promises of the Holy Fathers about speedy spiritual success, the acquisition of grace-filled prayer of the heart, will come true. We are not going this way. And we cannot go, for lack of love for God. If we want to compare ourselves with the great ascetics, then we must do it honestly. Whoever has read this book, let him remember how its hero lived before he embarked on his feat. From childhood he was a cripple, so many passions did not affect him. He was married, but he lived a chaste marriage with his wife. Every evening he and his young wife made a thousand prostrations before going to bed, so as not to be tempted at night. Thus he lived even before the Jesus Prayer. After the death of his wife, this man was so eager to learn unceasing prayer that for about a year he walked around Russia and sought a guide in prayer. As a result, he was vouchsafed a miraculous revelation from above, the Lord granted him a mentor - then his path of mental work, to which this book is dedicated, had just begun. Do not rush to compare yourself with great people. Our superficial imitation of other people's exploits reminds us of the following. If a girl answers her fiancé from the bottom of her heart: "I love you and agree to marry you", this is fine, but if she, like a wound-up doll, repeats incessantly: "I love you, I love you, I love you...", then she can anger her beloved. In the same way, a person who is subject to pride, filled with coarse passions, by constantly repeating the holy name, risks incurring the wrath of God. 160. By the Jesus Prayer and the sign of the Cross all the power of the enemy will be conveniently driven away. (65) The writings of the Holy Fathers are almost full of instructions on the Jesus Prayer, and I am often asked why the clergy of today do not preach much on this subject. In response, for the sake of persuasiveness, I will cite an oriental parable. One man came to another and asked if he had any scales to weigh the golden dust. And he answered: "I don't have a broom and a scoop." The first was surprised: "Why are you answering me so strangely?" and the second said: "I know that you will spill this sand, and you will need a broom and a dustpan, but I don't have them." Pray, of course, the more, the better. But the very approach to prayer should be prudent. With the right approach, I will see that I have taken it upon myself to pray the Jesus Prayer and I am not succeeding. I decided to devote myself completely to God, but I find that something prevents me from praying. And it is about what hinders us that we preach constantly. If I am attentive, I will see that, in the first place, my voluptuousness hinders me. I do not fast well, my body is not refined by fasting and is not able to participate in prayer, but only distracts me from it. Secondly, many of my worries and attachments prevent me from praying. I have a lot of work and family, God-given duties, unfortunately, there are things and worries that I invent for myself. As a result, my soul is attached to many different things, and therefore, when I begin to pray, my mind willy-nilly rushes to these very things, and prayer turns out to be impossible. All this could be dealt with if not for the third reason. You can increase abstinence in food. It's not that difficult. We know that many non-believers starve severely only for the sake of losing weight, the ascetics of Eastern religions strictly fast for the sake of their lustful desires to enter, as it seems to them, the highest spiritual states. In addition, it is possible to cut off many of our worries, to free ourselves from many things. Finally, you can go into the desert. Take a train, go to the wilderness, go to the mountains, retire - and live there. But there is something that you cannot run away from, something that you will have to fight with all your life. This is pride. We talk about this passion and will talk about it constantly, since it is it that makes us opponents of God. Pride is not a thought, I can think anything about myself. Pride is our deepest experience that we are something significant. That we present God almost as a gift with our prayer, that this is our feat, our worthy deed. This is what makes us vile before God. When pronouncing the holy words of the Jesus Prayer, asking the Lord for mercy, one must realize the meaning of the petition. Let us remember that we are condemned to death row, that by our sinful life we have condemned ourselves to death - eternal hellish torment. We need to acutely feel our doom, to understand that we are begging for mercy for ourselves. And we do it differently. Let us read the Jesus Prayer fifteen times and we have already forgotten everything, not only do we not need any mercy, but we feel ourselves worthy of crowns in the Kingdom of Heaven. So let us not be surprised when we are not given the gift of prayer. Taking pity on us, protecting us from eternal perdition, God grants true prayer only to the one who seeks it, abiding in a humble and repentant feeling. 161. The Jesus Prayer, after the Lord's Prayer, seems to be higher than all prayers; with it you speak directly and simply to the Lord... All the saints teach that the mind should always be exercised in prayer and not be separated from the memory of God. (54, 595) Many people turn to the priest with the question: "Can I practice the Jesus Prayer?" It should be noted that the question of how to practice the Jesus Prayer did not arise only for those people who have either reached the measure of true love, or do not care about their salvation at all, as well as for those who practice this prayer incorrectly. Everyone else sooner or later asks this question. But let's dwell on this word for now - to study. There is a great difference between when a person asks God for forgiveness from the bottom of his heart with these simple and great words: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner," and when he engages in the exercise of such a petition. In one case, it is prayer, in the other, it is the teaching of prayer. Both are necessary. These things are deeply intertwined with each other, but still, one should not confuse prayer of the heart and prayer-exercise. Of course, it is possible to pray in simplicity, calling on the Lord Jesus Christ for help, always and for everyone, if God gives. When it comes to exercises, one should first of all understand who we are talking about: ascetic ascetics or lay parishioners. In the first case, the monastic vocation is meant. The ancient editions of the Philokalia contain indications of special methods of working with the breath, of special positions of the body, of specific prayer rules, of ways of mastering attention, of bringing the mind to the heart, and so on. We are talking about auxiliary methods that accompany a special spiritual path that lofty ascetics follow in certain conditions, with absolute, of course, obedience to the elder, complete renunciation of their own will and of the world. A person called by God to such a feat must receive a special blessing from God and have an experienced mentor who has walked this path himself. Needless to say, this has nothing to do with us. We, the weak laity, need to learn the Jesus Prayer in accordance with our measure, with our dispensation. We should do this as St. Ignatius Brianchaninov teaches in his writings. And above all, remember that the very fact that we are only practicing prayer shows that we are still far from God, that we still love Him very little. Therefore, it is necessary to do this with a deep sense of repentance and humility. Then our studies will be pleasing to God. If we truly loved God, what kind of exercise would we be talking about? When a young man loves a girl, he simply says to her, "I love you," and does not practice saying these words. All of us, in one way or another, with great creaking, but still try to pray and, of course, stumble. If we read ten prayers a day, and even more so a hundred, then we are satisfied with ourselves. It's like a person who has broken his legs, gets out of bed for the first time, hobbles on crutches and is very proud of it. And what, in fact, is to be proud of - he is still only hobbling. This is the first thing. Secondly, if it goes fast, it remains to be seen if it is good. After all, it is important where he goes, in what direction. Perhaps it would have been better for him to lie down always, perhaps it would have been better to die than to walk fast. This also applies to our "feats". Otherwise, it would be better not to turn to God at all, because, having taken up spiritual work, he has come to extreme pride, such that he will have to regret that he was born. The Holy Fathers command us never to look for evil detours in order to acquire prayer, bypassing the path of doing God's commandments. No techniques, methods and methods can implant prayer in the human heart, since only God Himself can grant true heartfelt prayer. The Fathers warn: whoever tries to enter the bridal chamber of Christ by cunning or to break in by force, without being invited, without being ready and worthy, is cast out and severely punished. According to the teaching of the Holy Fathers, while our heart is silent and our mind is not yet collected, it is proper for us to pray orally. Verbal prayer will gradually attract the attention of the mind, if only to remain in humility. It is useful to remember that even the most holy words, but those uttered with the same mouth in the patristic understanding, are not prayer at all. This is only an exercise for our dead soul. When the soul comes to life a little and the mind is attracted to the words, this is already a prayer, but lame, hobbling on one leg, for God expects incomparably more from us - He waits for our heart to respond. If this feeble half-prayer is accompanied by a repentant mood, then the exercises are good for us. "The devil does not tolerate the fragrance of repentance. From the soul that emits this fragrance, the devil runs away with his charms," said St. Ignatius. Satan cannot lead a humble repentant into delusion. 162. For it is not falsely said that if grace touches it, then, having received such an imperishable treasure, you will no longer desire anything external. (14) It is not false, but it is not about us. Many are carried away by the dream of the consoling actions of grace described by the Holy Fathers, and rush to "engage" in prayer out of a thirst for pleasure, striving to receive them as soon as possible, naively waiting for fruit, when they have not yet sown seeds, not understanding that spiritual consolation, which only God can give, must necessarily be preceded by the hard work of true repentance. And any premature spiritual acquisition is unreliable and even dangerous. The work of repentance begins with the fact that a person must realize that he is unworthy of any pleasures and rewards, not to seek consolation and not to wait for it. The goal of our podvig should in no way be the acquisition and multiplication of sweet gifts. Our goal is repentance, reconciliation with God. Consolation can be given to us by the grace of God, but it is not necessary. One should not confuse oneself with the great ascetics, who are truly promised consolation in this life. The silent and hermits carry out the most difficult, above natural, podvig in the wilderness, in seclusion. For such people, in order to maintain their spiritual strength, it is useful to know that they will suffer for another ten years, endure, and then God will give them grace-filled consolation. Such a thought strengthens in the spiritual battle. But our situation has nothing to do with their lives. We do not carry out any feats at all, we live for our own pleasure in bodily comfort and entertainment. Therefore, there is nothing to strengthen and support us. It is also madness when a person seeks supernatural visions and apparitions in prayer. The thirst for miracles resembles what in the material world is known as a precancerous disease, an ailment that is about to degenerate into cancer, into a serious, fatal disease. The thirst for certain special experiences and states, visions and manifestations from above is the same precancerous disease in the spiritual life, it can be followed by an incurable delusion. Indulging in spiritual lust, we run the risk of attracting not an angel to ourselves, but a real demon. Such desires should be regarded as nothing other than a temptation and resolutely fight against them, then the Lord will save us from disaster. "One must first prove one's faithfulness to God by constancy and patience in prayerful labor, by discernment and cutting off of all passions," teaches St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, urging one to labor in prayer of repentance, in the fulfillment of the commandments. From us comes work, from God is grace. But when and to whom to give it is a matter of His holy will. In any case, we should neither wait nor seek consolation, this is absurd to us and offensive to God. Many, as we know, have been severely punished for taking up prayer with a proud desire to have some sweet and pleasant states. It is for this reason that some have fallen into delusion, others into complete destruction through suicide. In the words of St. Ignatius, "one must weep long and bitterly before spiritual action manifests itself in the soul," for the heart must be thoroughly crushed in repentance in order to open itself to grace-filled actions. In our country, it is still completely blocked, sealed by coarse passions, so it is not able to receive grace into itself. 163. Do not grieve that you have not yet built your spiritual temple, that you have not adorned it with good deeds, but ask the Lord. We cannot do anything good by ourselves, but we must ask Him for help: if the Lord does not build a house, those who build it in vain labor. (139) Such words discourage some, cause distrust in others, and yet they are words from the Holy Scriptures (Psalm 126:1). The Church teaches that man is incapable of doing anything truly good and pleasing to God on his own. Any good, and even prayer, if performed by a person without Divine participation, turns out to be a false, essentially antichrist deed, since the Antichrist is the one who is "instead of God." In the historical perspective, the Antichrist will be a person who tries to replace Christ with himself. First of all, we must strive to really unite with the Lord and allow Him to live and act in us. Otherwise, the most seemingly good deeds will actually turn out to be evil. A striking example of such "harmful good" is pseudo-healing by sorcerers, whose actions are always godless. Is it a good treatment in which the patient's leg recovers for a while, but at the same time the soul dies forever?! The understanding that we ourselves, without God, cannot do anything good, should be experienced, not bookish. If a person reads in a book that he cannot do anything good on his own and gives up: well, I cannot and will not do anything, then this is pernicious negligence, and not at all salvific humility. We must put all our strength into working on our souls, we must try to do good, act according to the commandments, and accustom ourselves to prayer. And when we are convinced by experience that nothing is working out for us properly, when we come to know our weakness, when we feel the complete hopelessness of our situation, then we will sincerely and wholeheartedly cry out: "Lord, there has been nothing good in me and there is nothing good, I am trying, and nothing is working, but I hope for your mercy." This is the right mood of the worshipper.

Part 1

Our heart cannot but breed sinful desires * As long as we dream about what we like, we are not yet Christians * There are many hidden passions in us * "Spiritual sleep is a careless life" * Obsessive thoughts * Spiritual law: what is revealed weakens * Untimely feats can lead to great falls * Demons are more cunning than us - they will always deceive us * A spiritual person does not trust his thoughts * Self-deception is possible, while we are on earth * Ask a teacher with faith - you will know God's will * God is disgusted by our delight in sin * Demons plunder our thoughts when we do not guard them * If there is no guide, you must cry * Those who do not fight with passions do not fight with them * 164. It is not surprising that useless thoughts disturb you, because they formerly had a free entrance into your soul, and according to the former habit they visit you. (165) Our love of sin, our attachment to things, automatically provide an influx of unwanted thoughts and impressions. Sometimes something happens to a pious person that he did not expect from himself: for no apparent reason, sinful desires and impure thoughts suddenly begin to arise in the soul. A person is embarrassed, almost despairing. He is unnecessarily embarrassed, he just wasn't attentive enough to himself before. St. Ignatius Brianchaninov in his writings gives the following example in this regard: "The earth produces weeds by itself, no one plants them. The reason for this is the perverted property of the earth. It is foolish to expect from the earth what is not characteristic of it." It was said to Adam, "Thorns and thistles will bring forth for you the earth." Man fell, defiled the whole earth with his sin, and the land began to breed weeds. It is unthinkable to expect that it will grow useful plants by itself. Our heart, being sinful, cannot but give rise to sinful desires. It is necessary to carefully and patiently weed out the tares of evil thoughts and desires: as they appear, denounce and reproach yourself, expel them with prayer and repent. Just don't hope that this will ever end. When we die, then it will all end. And it is impossible to count on what John Climacus called "the resurrection of the soul before the death of the body." This happens extremely rarely, with God's special chosen ones. To consider oneself a special chosen one is an obvious sin of pride. Let us tune in to fight our sins until the last day of life. 165. And you consider it the beginning not to receive these guests. (165) The path of Christ begins with the fact that a person decides to fight the passions, decides with all his might to resist sinful thoughts entering his soul. As long as we allow ourselves to dream about what we like, we are not yet Christians. This is only an appearance - our going to church. I put a candle - my soul warmed, I kissed the icon - it was pleasant. Easter - ate Easter cake. I took communion - I am satisfied... It's all very nice. But if we do not struggle with our passions, we are not Christians, we are alien to the sufferings of Christ. Only through the struggle with the passions can we partake of His sufferings at least a little. When we live as we wish, according to our passions, we are alienated from the sufferings of Christ, and therefore we are alienated from the resurrection of Christ. Therefore, in order to become a Christian, we must consider the beginning of this struggle, and when we are offended and succumb to sin, we must repent. If passions boil in us (usually anger, irritability, bodily incitement, fornicatory thoughts), it is necessary to know that this is the fruit of our exaltation over others. And therefore you need to humble yourself, reproach yourself, ask God for forgiveness. Then this warfare will weaken. It will never leave us completely, but it will weaken. And there is no other way, no matter how hard we try to fight these passions by fasting or other bodily feats. Our pride is always with us, and it is the source of all temptations. There are many people who say to themselves that they are sinners, there are many people who think to themselves that they are sinners, but very few people who in their hearts, sincerely experience themselves as sinners. Our sincerity is easily tested. Some people praise us, others insult us. If we treat those who insult us worse than those who praise us, then this confirms that we are proud people and do not really consider ourselves sinners. Often there is bewilderment about the patristic instructions on the struggle with thoughts, when some fathers advise to let a thought into the soul, examine it, and then expel it, while others recommend not to let any thoughts into it at all. The difference between these approaches can be appreciated only by an experienced ascetic, hardened in spiritual warfare, who is able consciously, at will, either to cut off or allow thoughts into the soul. We really do not understand what is being said here, since we always, without any exceptions, unconsciously let any thoughts into the soul. Experienced, but not yet perfect, ascetics, understanding all the danger of mental warfare, beware, unlike us, of any thoughts whatsoever. They tried not to look at them and not to understand them, but only prayed fervently that thoughts would not penetrate into their souls, cleansed of unnecessary impressions by many labors. We have not yet reached even the level of beginners, and therefore thoughts calmly flow into us, captivate us, defile and destroy us. What to do? According to the advice of the Holy Fathers, since we are not able to cut off all thoughts at all, it is necessary to distinguish between them. If the thought seems good, then you need to go and consult with a spiritual mentor, find out whether the thought is really so, without trying to figure it out on your own, since the demons will deceive us. When it is obvious that a thought is sinful, we must immediately try to expel it by prayer, to repent that we have passions, which attract thoughts that are akin to them. If we did not have passions, evil thoughts would not concern us. If it happens that we hesitate and begin to consider a sinful thought, to converse with it, and even more so to enjoy it, then this is already a sin that requires repentance. In such a situation, it is necessary as soon as you realize it, to begin to pray intensely in order to drive away sinful thoughts. In no case should you indulge the rooting of your passions. And this happens to us if we accept a sinful thought, agree with it, and as a result commit a sinful act. There are many hidden passions in us that do not make themselves felt for the time being. But passion is greatly strengthened and strengthened when sin is committed by deed. For example, we all have a hidden passion for fornication. But if a person actually falls into fornication, passion becomes completely destructive, and the struggle with it becomes very difficult, often unsuccessful. 166. And our whole life is nothing but a dream. (594) Our usual state is lower than our natural state. It is characterized by the fact that our attention is scattered, dissolved in an incessantly whirling whirlwind of thoughts. "Spiritual sleep is a careless life," said Elder Theodore of Sanaksar. During the sleep of the body, the soul rests in order to awaken to good deeds. But if we do not care about our salvation, then we fall into spiritual sleep. This is a terrible waking dream state. Then we talk, act, live automatically, out of habit. At the same time, we, like a machine, actively react to external influences. With such a way of life, we find ourselves below the level of our fallen nature, on the level of the demonic, the underworld. Meanwhile, we have the opportunity to rise above our fallen nature and to live according to the commandments, to draw closer to the nature of Christ. The decrease comes from inattention. Observing, you can notice that there are moments of awakening, when the whirling of empty thoughts stops. If at such a moment we look attentively at ourselves, we will be horrified by our condition. Living like machines, we are unable to fulfill God's commandments, because we simply do not remember them. Our mechanical existence is governed by passionate sinful habits, and life in the power of passions is a mental illness. Even a good deed done in a dream turns out to be only a mechanical action. Of course, there is a way out of this situation. In the moments of sobriety that God gives to each person, one can bring repentance and begin to be awake, trying to lead a Christian life. Of course, a person will again forget and fall into a mechanical sleep, but if there is a desire for awakening, God, seeing this, will gradually lead a person to the spiritual path. 167. Not only should we abstain from evil deeds and words, but also from vile thoughts that come to us from demons. (8) It seems to be an obvious thing, but the world has completely forgotten about it. People, immersed in vanity, live only an external life and believe that if there are no gross crimes, then everything is fine, and they do not care about their thoughts and heartfelt feelings, they think that no one knows about them. In fact, God sees everything, and besides, what secretly happens in the heart very often comes to the surface and leads to serious sinful falls. The Fathers say: Declare the thought that lingers in you to the abba. We cannot run to confession with every evil thought. Inner immediate repentance before God is enough. But thoughts that become obsessive, which constantly make themselves felt, must be revealed to the spiritual father. There is a spiritual law that everyone needs to know: what is revealed is weakened. And this applies to both bad and good deeds. But we usually do the opposite: we reveal to others what is good we have done, and our good disappears because of this, eaten up by vanity. We try to conceal the evil, instead of revealing it in confession. And it is strengthened in us. Most often, the enemy does not incline Christians to openly evil desires. He deceives them with good thoughts. For example, it prompts: go into seclusion, or distribute your possessions to the poor, or take upon yourself some other strenuous podvig. In themselves, these thoughts are good, but, as untimely, they are capable of bringing a person to great falls. I will not, and indeed is impossible, to enumerate all the demonic methods. Demons are more cunning than we are, they will always deceive us. Therefore, the only sure way is not so much to understand their tricks as to trust one's own reason and desires, to commit oneself to the mercy of God. If a person knows that he is a sinner, that his mind and heart are defiled by sin, that his desires are impure, if he has lost confidence in himself and, feeling his helplessness, does not lose hope in God, then he has already found a way out of the spiritual impasse. And then the Lord will lead a person to salvation either through a spiritual mentor, or by other paths known only to Him. 168. The enemy will present to you something that has never happened, and you will accept what is imposed, you will be confused, and you will be his helper. (81) Because we trust our thoughts, because we trust our impressions, the demons put into our minds whatever they please, whatever they like. A person who has at least some spiritual experience does not trust his impressions and thoughts. He tries to drive away thoughts, and when necessary, he turns to his spiritual father for advice with the belief that through him the will of God will be proclaimed. As long as we believe our thoughts and our impressions, we are open to any demonic influence. We will continue to paint our neighbors with black paint, and ourselves with light paint. And when our soul leaves the body, everything will fall into its rightful place, and what we will see will not be a joy for many. All our self-deception is possible while we are on earth, while God is waiting for our repentance. As soon as the soul leaves the body, the time of its freedom ends, repentance is no longer possible - the time of reckoning begins. 169. Your present life does not seem to benefit you... Beware of this thought as a mortal poison; the enemy inspires it in you, in order to refute the deed pleasing to God. (589) A well-known thought. In the writings of the elder Zosima Verkhovsky we read: "The enemy, knowing how pernicious secrecy is, intensely fights the ascetic so that he lives without revelation." Many, trying to embark on the spiritual path, deviate from it at the first temptation. The reason is usually that people, out of false shyness or laziness, do not care about confessing sinful thoughts. Hypocrisy, which has become an inherent feature of our depraved nature, is making itself felt. Deep is the error of those who intend to lead a spiritual life with a mentor without revealing their thoughts to him. In this case, the relationship turns from spiritual to mental. At the same time, they ask for a blessing for every little thing, consult a lot on everyday questions, but they do not open their souls and are deceived, thinking that they are on the path of salvation. If you do not reveal your thoughts and actions to your teacher, then sinful thoughts begin to multiply intensively, passions grow and strengthen. Such a soul will receive neither peace, nor peace of heart, nor salvific teachings. There are murmurs and condemnation of the mentor, then anger and resentment: I have been with my spiritual father for so many years, and he still has not corrected me! In the end, life under a mentor becomes unbearable, a person leaves both the spiritual father and the community. The struggle with the passions begins with the fact that a person opens his soul to God through a mentor. Sometimes it seems that if my mentor were some revered clairvoyant elder, I would reveal everything to him, obey him and quickly succeed. An obvious misconception. It's not so much about the mentor as it is about the faith of the novice. When a person asks a mentor with sincere hope in God, with hope in God's mercy, then even through a weak mentor he can receive from God both instruction and help. And even a saint will not correct the self-willed. Revelation of thoughts, obedience is a high and straight, but difficult path, it requires a lot from a person. If we do not have enough courage, if we do not have the strength, then we need to humbly go to the lower, not so effective, but safe path of enduring sorrows. Falling from a great height, you can no longer rise, but walking on the ground, you fall, rise and go on. On the low path, God crushes a person with illness, imprisonment and other sorrows, and he is required to accept everything without a murmur.

Часть 2

170. Сперва бывает прилог, то есть вражеское предложение нашей мысли. Потом следует сочетание, т.е. соизволение нашего ума вражию представлению, наконец и самое исполнение делом. А посему каждую мысль, могущую душе вредить, должно тотчас отражать памятию всегдашнего с нами присутствия Божия. (4) Вначале в уме возникает помысел: в словесной форме, или как образ, или как неясное желание. Если человек сразу отсекает его молитвой, то на этом искушение благополучно заканчивается. Если же увлекается и хоть немного рассматривает его, то появляется сочувствие помыслу. Это уже само по себе отчасти греховно, так как связано с услаждением, иначе мы и не останавливались бы на своих мыслях и не рассматривали бы их. И тут мы стоим перед выбором: продолжать рассматривать помысел или нет. Если человек продолжает, он совершает настоящий мысленный грех, и от этого недалеко до греховного действия. Нужно вполне серьезно и ответственно относиться к таким случаям принятия помыслов и каяться в них так же, как и в греховных поступках. Нельзя забывать, что Бог всегда все видит, все знает и что Ему отвратительно наше услаждение грехом. Наверное, многие читали книгу "Старец Силуан". Там написано, что, когда он предался греховной жизни, ему было видение: в его рот заползла змея, и он услышал голос Божьей Матери: "Как тебе гадка эта змея, которая заползла тебе в рот, так и мне гадко видеть, что ты делаешь". И Матери Божьей, и Самому Христу отвратительно видеть не только наши грехи, но и наше соизволение на грех. 171. Не надобно дозволять, чтобы мысль наша скиталась всюду. (518) О евангельских пастухах, которым явились ангелы и возвестили о Рождестве Христовом, сказано, что они в эту ночь, когда все спали, находились на страже. То есть они были бдительны и стерегли своих овец. Здесь нам дан образ того, как мы должны быть внимательны к своей пастве. А все мы пастыри, и у каждого есть своя паства в душе - это помыслы, которые мы должны блюсти, не позволяя им рассеиваться и блуждать по дольнему миру. Весь "мир сей" наполнен хищными волками - бесами, которые похищают наши помыслы, когда те разбегаются. Через это бесы захватывают, порабощают наши души, и тогда Рождество Христово становится для нас бесплодным. Для того чтобы быть способными, подобно евангельским пастухам, поклониться Богомладенцу, нам нужно постоянно внимать себе. 172. Мы вредное от врага для души своей принимаем; попробуем же для души своей принять от Спасителя полезное лекарство, хотя и горькое: "Претерпевый же до конца, той спасен будет" (Мф. 10, 22). (32) Враг обычно влагает в нас всякие приятные мысли о самих себе, он нас бесстыдно хвалит, и мы по своей наивности, по своему сластолюбию и по своей гордости принимаем то, что нам приготовил сатана для нашей погибели, а лучше бы нам было принять спасительное лекарство от Бога. Про сатану, который подсовывает приятные помыслы, нужно знать, что он нас абсолютно ненавидит, именно абсолютно, то есть никакой милости у бесов к нам нет. Их единственная цель - это наше страдание. Они и временных наших утешений тоже не хотят. Если бы у них была возможность, они бы нас не соблазняли, а просто уничтожили и предали на вечную муку. А поскольку Бог им этого не позволяет, то они нас стараются соблазнить, но цель у них - только наше страдание, по возможности вечное страдание. Мы очень глупо поступаем, когда верим им. У преподобного Варсонофия Великого есть наставление к монаху-подвижнику: не позволяй себе размышлять о приходящих помыслах, это дело не твоей меры. Спрашивается, если это запрещено опытному монаху, то по силам ли нам с вами разбираться в наших мыслях? А все мы только этим и заняты. Мы непрерывно обо всем размышляем и рассуждаем, мы считаем себя способными самостоятельно управлять своей собственной жизнью, жизнью своих близких и даже политической и экономической жизнью целых государств Тот, кто немного осведомлен о святоотеческой традиции, кто слышал о послушании и отсечении своей воли, оправдывается тем, что святых старцев нынче не стало и советоваться не с кем. На этом основании люди начинают самостоятельно обо всем судить-рядить, самовольно принимать решения. При этом они еще бывают и довольны своей мнимой рассудительностью и полагают, что неплохо у них получается жить своим умом. Получается на самом деле плохо. В "Добротолюбии" сказано, что если нет наставников, то надо плакать. Надо сознавать безвыходность, отчаянность своего положения и в сердечной молитве плакаться Богу, вымаливать Его помощь. Этим привлекается милость Божья, Господь покрывает нашу немощь, посылает наставника или Сам помогает. Но мы действуем во вред себе. Доверяя своим помыслам и принимая самочинные решения, мы наглухо отгораживаемся от помощи Божьей. Бесы гораздо хитрее нас. Когда они видят человека, который доверяет своим помыслам, они начинают к его человеческим мыслям примешивать свои, бесовские, и через это вертят таким человеком, как хотят, и он уже полностью попадает в их руки. Впрочем, это случается только с теми, кто настроен духовно и пытается победить страсти. Кто не борется со страстями, с теми и бесы не борются. Тот уже побежден, тот сам для себя является бесом. 173. Диавол старается мысль нашу смутить, осквернить, а мы попечемся освящать ее молитвою, - и козни его будут недействительны". (79) Мы своей греховностью в любое, даже самое святое, место привлекаем бесов. Поэтому и вблизи великих святынь продолжаются бесовские искушения. Бесы отвлекают нас от Бога не только земной суетой, пустомыслием о политике и экономике, но и возвышенными рассуждениями на духовные темы. А между тем, если вспомнить про Страшный суд, все это сразу окажется совершенно никчемным. На Страшном суде Христос задаст нам только один вопрос: "Любишь ли ты меня?" Он не спросит нас ни о детях, ни о соседях, ни о нашем социальном положении, ни о нашем отношении к правительству. И невозможно будет солгать, слукавить, уклониться от ответа. Ответ готовится уже сейчас, нашей нынешней жизнью. Бесы везде и всегда стараются посеять в нас греховные помыслы. И мы должны этому противостоять. Правда, бесы мало с кем из нас борются, потому что они нас давно победили. Мы сами и грешим автоматически, и худые помыслы наша грешная душа рождает автоматически. Поэтому не нужно все сваливать на бесов. Бесы берутся за человека, когда он стает на путь очищения своего сердца. Тогда, видя, что человек движется к спасению, они начинают ему препятствовать. 174. Помните слова аввы Дорофея, который никогда на свое мнение не полагался и говорил мнению, от врага наносимому: "Анафема тебе и разуму твоему, и рассуждению твоему, и мудрованию твоему, и ведению твоему; что знаешь, от бесов знаешь". (49) Так рассуждал человек, который сам в великой мере имел духовное ведение. Когда приходил ему какой-то помысел и враг внушал, что не нужно спрашивать у старца, что он сам все знает, он отвечал помыслу: "Нет, я пойду и спрошу". Бывало так, что старец говорил то же, что думал сам авва Дорофей, тогда бес внушал ему: "Ну вот, зачем ты беспокоил старца, нужно было поступать так, как ты хотел, и все было бы правильно". А он возражал: "Нет, вот теперь это истина, а до этого это была не истина". Потому что дело не в том, как мы поступаем, а в том, чью волю мы творим. Если даже и доброе дело делаем своевольно, дело остается добрым, а мы получаем от этого духовный вред. А вот если мы творим волю Божью, то всегда приносим пользу и окружающим, и себе. 175. Если будут усиливаться [помыслы], просите Господа со слезами, чтобы Он Божественною Своею силою подал Вам силы на прогнание сих мысленных татей, которые расхищают душевное Ваше сокровище.(165) Не нужно из себя физические слезы выжимать, потому что в этом часто бывает больше лицемерия, чем покаяния. Умолять Господа нужно с сердечными слезами, чтобы Он подал силы "на прогнание мысленных татей". Когда человек сидит в своей квартире и к нему врываются разбойники, он волей-неволей закричит: "Помогите!" Так и с мысленными разбойниками - как только они приблизились, нужно призывать на помощь Бога. 176. Даже не надо и замечать, кто сердится или кто как посмотрел; не надобно проникать в их намерения. (192) Тут мы очень часто просто по-человечески обманываемся. Нам кажется, что к нам хорошо относятся, а на самом деле нет. И наоборот. Оттого что мы слишком придирчиво копаемся в том, кто как к нам относится, мы впадаем в осуждение, мнительность, понапрасну огорчаемся. От этого расстраиваются личные отношения между друзьями, супругами, товарищами по работе. Нам надо помнить, что страсть мнения не менее опасная, чем другие. 177. При всех добродетелях твоих, если подумаешь о себе, что ты нечто, вот и погибла; а лучше думай: "Я грешна и хуже всех". (208) Помысел, который нас хвалит, самый опасный. И люди, когда нас хвалят, искушают, и бесы, когда хотят искусить нас, хвалят, поэтому всеми силами нужно гнать эти помыслы, они совершенно обесценивают любые наши добрые дела. Искренне ощущать себя худшим из всех людей свойственно только святым. Нам, грешным, хорошо бы хотя бы начать рассуждать так, как рассуждал авва Дорофей, будучи еще послушником. В глубине души он не считал себя хуже всех, но, анализируя свои поступки, мысли и желания, признавал, что правильно было бы ему считать себя хуже всех. Старец Варсонофий Великий похвалил его за такое исповедание, так как это было началом подлинного духовного пути. 178. А ты еще и мысли его принимаешь, посему он и действует. (265) Конечно, когда мы начинаем принимать бесовские помыслы, они нас постепенно захватывают, и мы забываем Священное Писание, забываем учение святых отцов, никакой трезвый голос до нас не доходит. Страсти, которые до поры до времени дремали в нас, под действием бесов полностью оживают, и мы уже не в силах выбраться из вражеского плена. Если мы здесь, на земле, окажемся связанными страстями, то когда душа выйдет из тела, она не сможет двинуться к Царству Небесному. Ей сродни окажется нечто иное, и, влекомая к своей стихии, она сама потянется вниз и рухнет в область страшных мучений еще прежде Страшного суда. Нельзя шутить с бесами. Я часто повторяю, и в личных беседах, и с амвона: не шутите с бесами, они нас не любят. Главное их коварство в том, что они прикидываются нашими друзьями, внушают нам, что хотят доставить нам утешение: сделай то-то и то-то - и тебе будет приятно. Они это начали в раю, они еще в раю уговаривали Еву, чтобы она съела плод, приятный на вид и на вкус. Правда же состоит в том, что они не только не хотят нашего вечного спасения, они и временных наших утешений не хотят. Они наши лютые враги. Они ненавидят нас. Поэтому не нужно с ними даже и в разговоры вступать никакие. Ведь грех первых людей с того и начался, что Ева стала спорить со злым духом, а значит, вступила с ним в общение. С бесами не нужно спорить, их не нужно слушать и уж, конечно, не нужно им верить. 179. Мы желаем насадить в себе добрые мысли, а тут сами собою приходят противные Богу, неполезные нам. Новоначальному в таком случае нужно молиться: "Господи, отыми от мене весь помысл лукавый!" Другие, которые уже знают совершенно, как и откуда эти мысли приходят, отвечали: "Я не изволяю". А совершенные уже со властию отгоняли их: "Отыди от мене, лукавый!" (384) И мы, люди немощные, тоже можем иногда сказать бесам: "Отойди от меня, сатана!". Но здесь есть тонкость, и не случайно отец Феофан пишет, что именно совершенные могут приказывать: "Отойди от меня, сатана!" Постоянно так обращаться к бесам безопасно только для совершенных. К сожалению, мне приходилось не раз встречаться с людьми, которые вроде бы из самых благих побуждений вот так, как бы со властью, отгоняли бесов, а в результате попадали к ним в лапы, возникала своеобразная игра со злыми духами. Бесы подступают к человеку, начинают с ним спорить, он в ответ тоже спорит, обольщаясь тщеславной мыслью, что он уже умеет сражаться с ними. На самом деле он и не подозревает, что подыгрывает им. Надо знать свою немощь и обращаться исключительно к Богу. 180. Если же кто принимает всякие мысли, занимается ими, не гонит их от себя, тот приходит в развращение и близок к погибели. (384) Надо сознавать, что отнюдь не всегда в нас действуют бесы. Наша душа осквернена грехом, осквернена прежним общением с бесами. Мы уже рождаемся грешниками. Душа сама по себе плодит много суетных помыслов. Мы весьма утешаем бесов, когда вместо того, чтобы молиться Богу, начинаем воевать с воображаемой нечистой силой, в то время как бесы и не думают подступать к нам. Я знал женщину, которая буквально погрузилась в такие вот споры с мнимыми бесами. Я ей говорил, что это не бесы, а суетные помыслы, что нужно не пререкаться с ними, а молиться. Она мне не верила, я свел ее с известными духовными лицами, которые сказали ей то же самое. Она и им не поверила, и уже много лет продолжает твердить: "Отойди от меня, сатана", общаясь таким образом с дьяволом, вместо того чтобы обратиться к Господу Иисусу Христу. 181. Когда враг сделает прилог и мы немедленно обратимся к Богу, помолимся, тогда враг скоро оставит нас. А когда примем его совет, он сейчас покажет и что сказать, и как сделать, поможет и в дело произвесть совет его, совсем овладеет нами, сделает пленниками. (385) Тут не стоит гадать: бесы в этот момент в нас действуют или наше падшее, развращенное естество породило греховные помыслы. Следует незамедлительно с молитвой обратиться к Богу за помощью и усилием воли оттолкнуть греховные помышления и желания. Лишь вооруженные Божьей помощью, мы способны противостоять невидимому врагу. 182. Врага можно отогнать молитвою, и его козни тогда уже недействительны. Избави, Боже, такого жестокого непокорного сердца, которое не слушает, что ему приказывают, и творит волю свою. (49) Самого себя никуда уже не прогонишь. Если наша душа стала на бесовский путь своеволия и доверия своим помыслам, она - в смертельной опасности. Но любой человек способен, пока еще не поздно, все это в себе увидеть, покаяться и начать исправляться.

Покаяние

Враг не дает нам вспомнить о смерти * Страшный суд - через пять минут * Самое ужасное - смерть без покаяния * Особенно безжалостно искушают бесы на смертном одре * Иной суд Божий, иной человеческий * Не отлагай покаяние * Если увидим всю бездну нашей греховности, сойдем с ума * Греховная "мелочь" - повод для постоянного самоукорения * Маленькие грехи губят так же, как и большие * В каких грехах легче каяться * Не вспоминай злословие и блуд * Если нет желания спастись, то и всемогущий Бог "разведет руками" * 183. Начто отлагать покаяние, говорить: покаюсь еще? Вместо этого, сказать тогда же, как согрешила: Господи, помилуй мя падшую. (482) Это общее правило для всех христиан. Как только согрешили, должны сразу каяться. Ни в коем случае нельзя отчаиваться и нельзя легкомысленно откладывать покаяние. В Отечнике есть замечательный, хотя на первый взгляд и странный рассказ. Некий монах пошел на реку за водой и там впал в блуд. Когда возвращался назад, к нему приступили бесы, которые стали внушать ему: "Ты согрешил, ты погубил свою душу". А он им ответил: "Я не согрешил". Пришел в свою келью и предался обычному молитвенному деланию. Что тут поучительного? Человек впал в тягчайший, смертный грех, но поскольку не позволил себе отчаяться, а сразу покаялся, вернулся к прежним душеспасительным занятиям, то и был прощен. Очень многие люди, обычно нецерковные, думают, что вот я пока поживу всласть, потешусь, а как-нибудь потом покаюсь. Это враг внушает такие мысли, не дает вспомнить о смерти, что она может прийти в любой момент, даже сейчас, когда вы читаете эти строки. А за гробом покаяние невозможно. А что дальше? Страшный суд и скорее всего, памятуя о наших нераскаянных грехах, вечная мука. Разговоры о грядущем конце света, которые распространены в обществе, обычно суетны и, как правило, ведут к тщеславию, но никак не способствуют покаянию. Кто не знает, что мы живем в последние времена. Об этом написано в Евангелии, сам Христос сказал: "Дети, последнее время". Эти последние времена тянутся уже две тысячи лет и могут тянуться еще двадцать тысяч лет. Это не наша забота. Господь скрыл от нас времена и сроки, но Он открыл нам свои заповеди и указал, что нам делать. На что же настраивает мысль о скором конце света? Только на то, что нужно опустить руки и ждать. Думать, что конец света настанет, к примеру, через год, вредно, это слишком отдаленная перспектива. Это лишь отвлекает от покаяния. Каждый человек может умереть в любой момент, это и станет для него концом света. И тогда для него начнется время воздаяния, время Суда. Помогает и ведет к покаянию мысль о том, что конец света наступит сейчас, в ближайшие пять минут. Тогда мы настроимся правильно, тогда мы увидим, что для нас жизненно важно, а что смертельно опасно. Мысли отложить покаяние на потом вынуждают Бога наказывать человека, чтобы хоть как-то пробудить его от житейского сна, напомнить о вечности. А иногда случается самое страшное - смерть без покаяния. Так что нужно всегда каяться сразу, как только мы опомнились. Существует весьма распространенное заблуждение среди людей старшего возраста: мы уже старые, грешить не можем. Еще как можем, даже на смертном одре. Нельзя расслабляться, бесы будут особенно безжалостно искушать нас при исходе души из тела. Это люди иногда еще стариков жалеют, а бесы никого не жалеют. Так что старческая немощь от греховности не избавляет. Не на дряхлость свою надо уповать, а на милость Божью. 184. Придти в сознание своих недостатков и переменить жизнь есть действие Божие. (145) Все святые православной Церкви в течение всей своей жизни неотступно держались покаяния. Нам это кажется вполне очевидным, вроде бы зачем и говорить об этом. Для нас это очевидно потому, что мы православные христиане, мы этому научены своей Церковью, мы к этому привыкли. А вот для остальных это вовсе не абсолютная истина. Причем не только явные сектанты, но и очень близкие нам по вероисповеданию римо-католики имеют совсем иное понимание духовного пути. Чтимый святой католической Церкви Франциск Ассизский перед смертью сказал, что он всем все прощает и не имеет за собой ни одного греха, которого не очистил бы в таинстве исповеди. Сказано красиво, и многим может понравиться. Но вот православные святые, напротив, сами просили у всех прощения и, даже когда явно сияли благодатью, продолжали считать себя недостойными Царства Небесного. И уж, конечно, не могли они помыслить, что, исповедав грехи, которые за собой знали, они становятся святыми и могут торжественно шествовать на Небо. Они говорили по-другому: хотя я все исповедал, но иной суд Божий, иной человеческий. Рассуждая так, они держались покаянного умонастроения до последнего мгновения своей жизни. По преданию, когда душа преподобного Макария Египетского, минуя все мытарства, поднималась уже на Небо, то бесы, окружавшие ее, кричали: "Ты победил нас, Макарий!" Но преподобный только после того, как достиг врат рая, обернулся и произнес: "Да, силою Господа Иисуса Христа я победил вас, бесы". И вошел в рай. Покаяние необходимо всегда и всем, так как пред Богом все грешны. Какой бы меры святости ни достиг человек, как бы искренне и подробно ни исповедовался, все равно с божественной святостью его состояние несопоставимо. Святые пребывали в покаянии и тогда, когда благодать действовала в них явно. Исполняясь и утешаясь благодатью, они не оставляли покаяния, так как, видя воочию милость Божью, погруженные в нее, они тем более остро сознавали свое недостоинство. 185. Когда увидите душевными очами тщетные в себе мысли, тот же час или в ту же минуту прибегните к Господу. Помолитесь втайне... И так мало-помалу научитесь уменьшать, а по времени и истреблять духовное терние. (148) Очень важное правило, но большинство из нас его не соблюдает. Мы считаем, что каяться нужно тогда только, когда приходим на исповедь. На самом деле покаяние должно быть постоянным. Мы должны внимать всем нашим помыслам, переживаниям. Как только осознали, что согрешили (мыслью, чувством, а не только делом), сразу должны каяться, не дожидаясь встречи со священником. Если перед человеком согрешили, кого-то обидели, нужно по возможности обиду загладить, попросить у человека прощения, примириться с ним. Точно так же и с Богом. Разница в том, что с людьми мы общаемся сравнительно реже, значит, и реже перед ними согрешаем, а перед Богом согрешаем непрерывно: почти каждым помыслом, каждым сердечным движением. Поэтому наше покаяние перед Богом должно быть постоянным. Но обычно человек не готов к видению своей греховности. Все, наверное, читали в детстве сказку Андерсена "Голый король". Кому приятно узнать вдруг, что он голый. Бывает, духовник видит немощь человека, но не может о ней сказать, так как понимает, что его слово не будет принято, - человек просто впадет в отчаяние, расстроится и уйдет. Так и Бог. Он мог бы открыть нам глаза на наши грехи, но, зная нашу немощь, как бы скрывает их от нас. Если бы мы вдруг, неожиданно увидели всю бездну нашей греховности, то от ужаса сошли бы с ума. Если мы стараемся жить по заповедям Божьим, то постепенно Он открывает нам нашу греховность и мы становимся на путь покаяния. Большинство людей, когда читают или слышат о том, как глубоко падение каждого человека, просто не верят этому. Потому что гадко и стыдно отнести это к себе. Настолько стыдно, что стыд затмевает видение своего духовного ничтожества. 186. Одни грехи повседневные, другие смертные. За смертный грех требуется большее покаяние. А рассмеяться случится, тотчас скажи: согрешила, Господи, прости; мысль дурная пришла: Господи, отыми от мене весь помысл лукавый видимого сего жития; случится солгать: Господи, прости мое согрешение. (483) Это все относится, так сказать, к малым, повседневным и даже ежеминутным грехам. Мы должны постоянно приносить покаяние Богу и не отчаиваться, не унывать. Если нас на улице дразнят какие-нибудь мальчишки, очень глупо останавливаться и начинать ругаться с ними. Нужно идти своей дорогой. Когда же случается что-то серьезное, бандиты нападают, нужно звать на помощь и защищаться или убегать. Как в житейском, так и в духовном. Сильные искушения, так же как и слабые, но постоянные приражения помыслов, требуют усиленного внимания к ним; их нужно исповедовать духовнику, прося его молитвенной помощи; бывает, что нужно разобраться в причинах усиления брани. А обычная ежеминутная мелочь (этот греховный мусор) не требует особой исповеди - все это повод для постоянного покаянного самоукорения. С другой стороны, существует опасность, на которую указывает святитель Игнатий Брянчанинов. Верующего церковного человека сатана обычно и не искушает на грубый грех, так как из-за страха Божьего душа его восстает, противится и уклоняется от явного греха. Гораздо эффективнее грех мелкий, и сатана соблазняет на незначительные проступки, которые, оставаясь нераскаянными, погубят нас точно так же, как грехи великие. Коварство в том, что на малые погрешности мы смотрим слишком легко, мы спокойны, когда нет больших грехов. И сатана тоже спокоен, так как дело его сделано. Часто на исповеди говорят: не знаю в чем мне каяться, я ни в чем не грешен. Действительно, что тут особенного: понежился в постели, помечтал о чем-то соблазнительном, объелся за обедом, подумал о ком-то плохо... Вот на Страшном суде, перед лицом Божьим и окажется - ничего особенного в нас нет, а все, что есть, - земное, плотское. Вся наша душа соткана из различных пристрастий, не обязательно плохих, мы много чего и хорошего любим. Но вот найдется ли у нас что-либо общего с Христом? Ведь именно это, по мысли преподобного Симеона Нового Богослова, должно выясниться на Страшном суде. У преподобного Иоанна Лествичника читаем, что самым тяжким грехом считается ересь, но, в то же время, еретика, как только он покается, сразу и причащают, а блудника, после принесения покаяния, отлучают от Причастия на много лет. Дело в том, что мысленный грех мыслью же и врачуется. Как только исправилась мысль, грех исчезает, приходит в нормальное состояние и сам человек. Поэтому в мысленных и словесных грехах гораздо легче приносить покаяние, нежели в совершенных делом. Последствия телесных грехов исправить гораздо труднее. Плоть наша имеет свою инерцию, то есть привычки, отучить ее от них намного труднее, чем ум. Плотские грехи долго помнятся телом даже при желании исправиться и при покаянии. Именно по этой причине Церковь гораздо строже судит грех телесный. Всеми силами нужно избегать впадения в грех действием, быть особо внимательным и никак не соглашаться на всевозможные бесовские уговоры и соблазны - вот, мол, разок попробуй, ничего страшного, Бог милостив. Бог-то милостив, но расплачиваться за свои ошибки приходится иногда всю жизнь. Блудная страсть одна из самых опасных. Мы не должны никогда соглашаться с помыслом, что уже избавились от нее. Бывает, что какое-то время она человека не беспокоит. Но нужно быть начеку. Как только человек возмечтает о себе, что он уже очистился и не способен впасть в блуд, обычно в скором времени он в него и впадает. У блудного греха и греха злословия есть общая особенность. Святые отцы советуют, вспоминая или говоря о них на исповеди, не вдаваться в подробности. Вспоминая блудный грех, человек услаждается, вспоминая злословие - мысленно злословит. 187. Он все свои милости вам являет: будьте пред Ним незлобивым младенцем или смиренною грешницею.(148) Вот два состояния: или человек сохранил чистоту своей души и подобен незлобивому младенцу, или, если не сохранил, должен каяться и быть перед Богом как смиренная грешница. Имеется в виду место в Евангелии, когда ко Христу привели женщину, взятую в прелюбодеянии. Она понимала, что заслуживает строжайшего наказания, раскаялась и в душе своей дала Богу обещание больше не грешить, и тогда Христос сказал ей: "Я не осуждаю тебя; иди и впредь не греши" (Ин. 8, 11). 188. Вот это помните всегда: "О сем разумеют вси, яко Мои ученицы есте, аще любовь имате между собою" (Ин. 13, 35). Когда будете иметь любовь между собою, тогда и будете Христовы ученицы. (273) Мы только тогда и сможем называться настоящими христианами, когда будем иметь между собой любовь. А пока это не так, начнем хотя бы каяться в отсутствии любви, не осуждать друг друга, искренне считать себя заслуживающими всякого огорчения. Тогда мы тоже станем хотя и немощными, но Христовыми учениками. Покаяние - это то, что всем нам доступно. В Ветхом Завете говорится не только об израильтянах, но и об их скоте. Святые отцы объясняют, что левиты - это символ тех христиан, которые исполняют заповеди Божьи, а скоты левитские - это те, кто не исполняет заповеди, но кается в этом и благодушно терпит скорби за свои немощи. Благая участь оказаться скотом, но в народе Божьем. Не оказаться бы среди его врагов, то есть тех, кто отверг покаяние. В святом крещении каждый из нас помазан миром на царство, священство и пророчество. Каждый христианин имеет великое призвание: соцарствовать Христу в Царстве Небесном, быть священником у Бога Всевышнего. Не только священники, которые несут служение у алтаря, но все христиане призваны приносить Богу молитвенную жертву на своем сердечном жертвеннике, все христиане призваны прорекать слово Божье, не гнилое, самолюбивое и гордое слово, которое так часто у нас на языке, а слово Божье. Мы этого призвания не исполняем, так будем же каяться. Покаяние всем доступно. Недоступно оно только бесам. 189. Когда исповедуетесь и священник скажет: "Прощаю и разрешаю соделанное в ведении и неведении", вот вы уже и прощены. Есть такие, что пренебрегают этим: какого же дара великого они лишаются! (484) Когда нам говорят, что спасение легко, покайся и спасешься, мы думаем: "Нет, не так все просто, не может быть, чтобы я покаялся и спасся". Когда нам говорят: "Трудись над своим спасением, исполняй заповеди Божьи", тут мы восклицаем: "Мы немощны!" И получается, что на самом деле мы и не хотим спасаться. Бог каждому дает силы для труда над своей душой. Он готов нас и даром принять в Царство Небесное, потому что Ему от нас ничего не нужно, кроме нашего желания спастись. Если же нет такого желания, тут и всемогущий Бог "разведет руками", ведь насильно в Царство Божье не затаскивают. В таинстве исповеди человек может примириться с Богом, если покается искренне, с намерением больше не грешить. А если будет каяться с намерением опять грешить - это не покаяние. Как в жизни бывает? Жена изменила мужу, просит у него прощения, а в душе своей намерена и дальше изменять ему. Это явное лицемерие. Так же и мы Бога оскорбляем, когда неискренне каемся. Если мы хотим примириться с Богом, необходимо примириться с ним до конца, решительно оставить все свои грубые грехи и всеми силами бороться со страстями. Не следует обольщаться: таинство исповеди фактически не совершается, если нет твердого намерения исправиться, решимости идти путем покаяния, желания навсегда оставить грех. Излишнее упование на Бога греховно. Мы должны надеяться на милосердие Божье, но то, что можем, обязаны делать сами. Творить же все, что нам заблагорассудится, разжигать свои страсти и надеяться, что Бог нас все равно простит, - это непозволительное, сурово наказуемое легкомыслие. 190. Излишнее упование на Бога без добрых дел - смертный грех. Надобно просить: не вниди в суд с рабой Твоей, а не думать - меня Господь помилует. (486) Часто люди грешат, думая, что ничего, Бог милостив, обойдется. Обойдется, если будем каяться и всеми силами стараться исправиться. Духовнику очень часто приходится слышать на исповеди такое выражение: "Ну пусть Бог меня простит". А почему, собственно, Он должен прощать, если человек не признает вины за собой, не хочет потрудиться или потерпеть скорби ради своего спасения? Бог может нас простить, хочет простить, прощает даже, но Он ничего нам не должен. Смиримся перед Ним - получим по Его любви и милости к нам прощение и вечное блаженство. А будем уповать на что-нибудь иное, кроме Божьей любви и милосердия, - горько ошибемся. 191. Иные же хотят предвидеть что-нибудь будущее, и это не касается до нас, а только надобно, чтобы не погрешить пред Богом. (323) Нет никакой нужды знать, что произойдет в будущем. Человеку для жизни необходимо знать заповеди Божьи. Они нам даны, и этого вполне достаточно. Желание заглянуть в будущее возникает либо из-за пустого любопытства, либо опять-таки из-за гордости, чтобы выделиться среди людей, или это уход от реальной духовной работы ради сладких переживаний. Возможно здесь и искреннее заблуждение, когда человек думает, что ведение о предстоящих событиях будет для него душеспасительным, позволит разумно перестроить жизнь и избежать ошибок. Все это самообман. Знание будущего ничего не меняет в жизни. Этому учит опыт, это видно из многочисленных примеров. В Ветхом Завете мы читаем, что грешные люди знали о грядущем по пророчествам, но знание это не спасло их. Когда бывала на то воля Божья, пророки возвещали будущее, обличая людей в грехах. Лишь в редких случаях люди внимали им и каялись. Чаще же всего никто пророчеств не слушал, к покаянию не обращался. Заметим, что речь идет о законных способах предузнавания будущего. Незаконные способы (гадание, колдовство, магия, астрология и проч.) осуждены как смертный грех еще в Ветхом Завете. Что действительно жизненно важно, так это исполнение заповедей Божьих, раскаяние в грехах. Но чтобы стать на путь покаяния, пророчества не нужны. Заповеди уже нам известны. Они не меняются и новых не будет. Все, что нам нужно, уже предсказано - открой Евангелие и читай. Конец

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