A great mystery is hidden here. This is the secret of work, which brings rest, and peace, which leads to destruction. The words of Abba Pimen the Great from the "Patericon" are remarkable: "I go where there is work, and there I find rest." And St. Isaac the Syrian writes: "God and His angels rejoice in need, but the devil and his servants rejoice." And in another place: "No one ascended to heaven without difficulty." An athlete who wants to win a competition likes the work of training, because he wants a reward for winning. The Elder knew this from experience, and out of love he wanted to lead his friend, the hieromonk, to heavenly repose, the path to which lies through these temporary labors. He persistently reminded him of the time of prayer, as if saying: "Awaken, wretched one, from sleep, and let's pray together, as promised, and you will enter into the mysteries of God and find a completely different rest." Of course, that hieromonk, reasoning in a human way, considered that in order to be able to work during the day, he had to rest at night. But Father Porphyrios' secret was that when grace comes, then fatigue goes away. After all, greater work undertaken for the sake of Divine love, for the sake of love for the Lord Christ, brings greater grace as well. And then, having spent the night in prayerful vigil, the next day the ascetic, in spite of his bodily fatigue, can work even better for the benefit of his neighbors, the whole Church. After all, all his labors will be assisted by Divine grace. After resting and sleeping, he will work alone, relying only on his weak human efforts. So, since that hieromonk "did not grasp" the thought of the Elder and chose, based on human logic, a different direction, he became like an athlete who prefers sleep to training, in order to supposedly come to the competition rested. Everyone understands that this is an unwise decision. God does not force anyone in this case, so Father Porphyrios, since his proposal to pray together was rejected and he was asked "not to disturb," retreated. Thus, this priest was left alone. We do not know what happened to him then. We believe that later he understood the meaning of these night reminders of the Elder and benefited from it.

Father Porphyrius told me this story about 25 years ago, because at that time I also experienced... exactly the same anxiety from the prayers of my beloved Elder for me. In August, our family and another family decided to spend a holiday together at a resort in Edipsos [140]. Before setting off, I went to Father Porphyrius for a blessing. By the way, I asked him if he had anything to say about how my vacation would go. He replied that the vacation would go well because he would pray for me all the time. In the evening of the same day we were already in Edipsos, stopped at a good hotel, went to the center and completely forgot about prayer and everything else. In the evening we went to bed late. As soon as I fell asleep, I felt that my bed began to rock violently. I thought that an earthquake had begun, woke up in fear and shouted loudly: "Earthquake! Earthquake!" And he continued to lie down, holding on tightly to the bed so as not to fall. Then I noticed that no one in the neighboring rooms or on the neighboring floors woke up. This alarmed me even more. I spent several hours without sleep, and when I fell asleep again, it was all over again. In addition, I had a new sensation, as if an electric current was being passed through my body. And this was repeated repeatedly. In the morning, I asked my friend, who was a doctor, and his wife if they had felt an earthquake during the night, but they just laughed. All this was repeated every night, and my vacation turned into a real torture. Once in a dream I saw myself in the church of St. Nicholas (I think it was in Kallisia), and from the icon of the saint myriads of rainbow sheaves of divine rays of unbearably bright light poured out on me, evoking in me an indescribable divine exultation. After this dream, I could not help but call the Elder and told him everything. "Don't worry," he said, "I'm bothering you with my prayers. At what time did you see St. Nicholas in a dream?" "Well, at that time I was just praying to the saint for you. Rest, but do not forget about prayer." Then I jokingly said to him: "Geronda, I beg you, if you really want me to have a good rest, then stop praying for me. Otherwise, my vacation turns into continuous suffering..." The Elder only smiled at these words of mine... Somehow blissfully and with great kindness. So he wanted to direct me to the spiritual life. But... How could I understand this!

I remembered the last two hours I spent with Father Porphyrios before he finally left for the Holy Mountain. At that time, we were both very cheerful and deeply satisfied. It would be good if the Elder prayed now from where he is, with the same power! I would gratefully endure such anxiety...

The elder takes my head in his hands and prays

Every time I came to Father Porphyrios, I always did the same thing: I put my head on his lap and, without saying anything, silently prayed for him, for my loved ones, for all of us. I remained in this position for several minutes. And the Elder, in turn, put the stole on my head, took it, squeezing it slightly, in his hands, and prayed with me. Often I could distinctly feel his breath and the beating of his heart. If sometimes I came with a headache or other ailments, then after confession everything went away. On these occasions, when I left, I thought that I had received a great blessing. When I was driving home in my car, it seemed to me that I was like a battery, well charged with the blessing of the Elder.

Once I asked Father Porphyrios:

"Geronda, why are you clasping my head in your hands?"

And he answered me:

"My child, when you pray, I pray too. Holding your head in my hands, I take your soul and, showing it to Christ, I ask Him to have mercy on you, to help you, to bring you to your senses, and to give you everything you need. Both to you and to your whole family.

My prayer alone is not enough

Father Porphyrius had many grace-filled gifts. He had the gift of patience and the gift of vigilance. He did not sleep at night, dedicating them to prayer for all people, and especially for those suffering from serious illnesses.

He himself always said: "I will pray, but it is not enough. It is necessary that you correspond to my prayer. For God, wishing to send us His grace, must find us standing with outstretched arms, ready to receive His grace. Whether He heals us of our ailments or allows the trial of illness to continue, He always acts with our spiritual benefit in mind."

Most of all, I help you with my prayers

At the first meetings with Father Porphyrios, I was always worried and felt indecisive. How to approach, how to ask, how to get an answer? When the Elder was not in Kallisia, or he did not accept him because of illness, or only silently gave a blessing, I felt emptiness in my soul. Little by little, Father Porphyrius freed me from this timidity. One day he said to me, "You know, I feel like I'm helping you a lot by praying for you." "I am very glad to hear this from you," I replied, "because I also feel