The second source of spiritual nourishment, given by the fulfillment of the commandments, is the hope of salvation. I, he says, have longed for Thy salvation, so formed in my heart that there is nowhere for salvation to come to me, but from Thee; into Thy hands I have committed my salvation, with the undoubted hope that it will be arranged in every way, as Thy wisdom knows, Thy goodness wills, and Thy providence will be brought to work, — and I have rested in Thee entirely. But since I could never have had such surrender to Thee, such hope in Thee, such rest in Thee, if I had been unfaithful before Thee in any way, then I determined to faithfully fulfill the commandments of Thy law, to fulfill not merely as a yoke and duty, but as the need of my heart, which loved them: "Thy commandments shall thou love." "The expectation of salvation," says St. Ambrose, "gave rise to love for the commandments, active love for the commandments became the support of hope, hope calmed in God."

What a wondrous chain of spiritual changes, or generations, and what a wondrous fruit from them — peace in God! A child in the mother's bosom is warmed and nourished by the very warmth of his mother's love for himself and his own for his mother, so our spirit is nourished by the very fact that it surrenders itself to God and rests in Him, for God is near him, so close that nothing can be closer to Him; and God is the fullness of all things, the fullness that overflows. Open yourself to Him, and all that you need and contain for you will be poured out from Him into you, and will be poured out unceasingly, until you remain open to Him by your unshakable faith, undoubted hope, and ardent love of kindness.

The Lord says: "Behold, I stand at the doors, and there is no reason: if any man hear My voice, and open the doors, I will come in to him, and I will sup with him" (Rev. 3:20). And He enters into every one who opens, not to lay chains, as a ruler, but to treat, to delight, to satisfy, as a generous giver. His supper is always with Him; wherefore He speaks; "Come unto me... and I will give you rest" (Matt. 11:28). And He gives rest to everyone who rests in Him with unrepentant rest.

It will be the same with you; as you will be in paradise. Only hasten to ascend to rest in God, make haste, for although the Lord is near, yet for us the path to Him is not short. Begin by patiently walking in the commandments, in the hope of salvation. Do not feel sorry for yourself, bore without pity, with some cruelty to yourself. If you do this, the arduous walk in the commandments will be reborn into an inspiring love for them, and the expectation of salvation into a vision and taste of salvation; both will end in peace in God, from Whose hand no one will take you away, as the Savior Himself assured: "My Father... There are pains of all, and no one can take away" My sheep "from the hand of My Father" (John 10:29).

Verse one hundred and sixty-seven

"Keep Thy witnesses, O my soul, and I shall love the earth."

The third source of spiritual nourishment, received from the fulfillment of the commandments, is love for them itself. Just as those who love themselves mutually, mutually nourish each other, so that when they are together, each of them feels as if, proceeding from the other, some nourishing and pleasing element enters into him, so with the lover of the commandments: from them proceeds and enters, so to speak, a spiritual stream, nourishing and delighting him. This is what he feels in every case when the fulfillment of the commandment is before him. The rush of nourishing warmth is not exhausted in him from the first meeting of such an event, during the entire duration of the good deed he demands, and for a long time after it, until another incident of the same nature stops it.

When we eat a certain food, the nourishing element hidden in it is extracted from it by our organic force. In the same way, the nourishing spiritual element is hidden in every good deed set before us. This is the measure of the commandment applicable to him. This element is extracted from him by love for the commandment, which makes it possible to feel its presence in that deed, to extract its nourishment and to attract it to oneself in the very performance of the deed. Only love for the commandments can and knows how to do so. That is why good deeds do not nourish without love. It is to the spirit what indigestible food is to the body: there is no taste and no nourishment. Others, perhaps, will say: "Well, if I have no taste for good deeds, and good deeds themselves are like grass for me, then why should I do good?" Do you see how the prophet speaks? First: "Preserve my soul the witnesses," and then: "Love me," and not just "Love," but "Love the earth." Begin to keep the commandments, and you will love them very much. There is love, let's say, mental love, which consists in the conviction that the commandments must be urgently observed and loved. From it is born also the love of feeling, or heartfelt love, and is born through the active fulfillment of the commandments. There are kinds of food that are not liked at first, but are taken, however, out of necessity, and then the organism learns to find taste in them and finally becomes so attached to them that without them even dinner is not lunchtime. This is exactly what happens to us in relation to the commandments. At first, it is as if they breathe cold, and then they become so close to the heart that it has no peace if it does not happen to do something to satisfy them. Do not look at the fact that there is still no taste in good deeds, but continue to keep the commandments, only with diligence and self-denial. If you find a taste, you will love them, you will love them.

Verse one hundred and sixty-eight

"Keep Thy commandments and Thy testimonies, for my ways are before Thee, O Lord."

The prophet again returns to the means of protection and preservation of a God-pleasing life according to the commandments and, as the most important of them, points to the awareness everywhere of the presence and all-seeing of God. This is as if a consequence of his previous reflections. The fear of breaking the commandments and the expectation of fruitfulness from fulfilling them lead to love. He who loves the commandments cannot but love Him who commanded, and having loved, he can no longer forget Him, and he constantly bears the memory of Him in his heart, for such is the quality of love. He who remembers God with love always has Him before his eyes, walks before His eyes and is aware of himself in all his paths and undertakings open before Him. And such a consciousness, what fear it arouses on its part in the heart, what hope and what love! And how therefore the mighty in itself combines the means for the protection and maintenance of life according to the commandments! The prophet confessed this more than once; and here he certifies that, realizing how all his ways are open before the Lord, he strictly fulfilled all His commandments; and before he said that he deliberately maintained this consciousness in himself, so as not to move from the right path: "I have seen the Lord before me, as I am at my right hand, that I may not be moved" (Psalm 15:8), and he explained the deviations of other people into the crossroads by nothing other than that they "did not offer God before them" (Psalm 53:5). Likewise, Sirach produces sin from the false conviction of sinners that no one sees them, because the darkness around them and the walls cover them. And they do not understand that "the eyes of the Lord are darker than the sun, despising all the ways of men, and looking in secret places" (Sir. 23:25-28). If they had understood this and remembered this, they would not have sinned.

For this reason all the holy ascetics had and taught others to have first of all the establishment of the memory of God in themselves, so that it would merge with the consciousness, which they called walking before God; for after this, whatever a man does, he cannot do it except with the thought that God is before him and sees what he does and how he does. And this is for both internal and external affairs. Hence the careful choice of only one God-pleasing thing and the accomplishment of what is chosen, in the most diligent way, in the thought that the chosen God-pleasing thing is dedicated to God and is therefore the work of God, one of those for which, if someone does it with negligence, he incurs an oath upon himself.

If you wish, therefore, to keep yourself blameless in all your ways, confirm in your memory that all your ways are open before God, and that the eyes of the Lord are set upon you, on your works, and on the thoughts of your heart. How to establish oneself in this? "Begin to work in acquiring such a skill, and the work itself will teach you how to succeed in it. Only desire fervently and strive zealously.