March 26, 1836.
155. In sorrow, run to the Most Merciful Lord. Pride is the gravest of vices. In vain she changed her cell
You accept God's visitation very desperately, and, wishing to avoid the sorrow here by criminal actions, you do not think that by doing so you are striving with rapid steps towards eternal perdition. "Refrain from these impulses. In sorrow, run to the Most-Merciful Lord: punishing the body with sorrowful guidance, He heals the soul. If you had come to your senses and come to know the gravity of your sins, then you would have silently glorified the Lord, Who punishes here in order to deliver you from eternal torment. When you accept the desire that I am not such a sinner as to punish me in this way, then know that pride alone is the gravest of vices. Humble yourself, imputing to yourself worthy of being punished, blame no one, do not murmur against anyone, and even more so against God, you will see for yourself the relief of your sorrows. "Here are the means to get rid of it.
Your departed brother cannot be returned, — pray to God for him, that the Lord may rest his soul, and you have sinned by placing your hope in him.
We have heard that you left your sister to go back to your cell, but you did it in vain — you should be one another's support and consolation in sorrow; and you also suffered harm while living alone in a cell.
May the Lord console you and teach you what is proper to do, and may He do good for your relatives for salvation.
August 31, 1836.
156. God permits all sorrows according to the measure of our dispensation. Bearing sorrows: the proud feel more, and the humble endure more easily
You describe your sorrows in your letter, but are you the only mortal who has only sorrows? No one will escape them, but not at the same time and not by equal measure. And God sends everything according to our dispensation: the proud feel it more, and the humble endure it more easily, because in the feeling of the heart they consider themselves worthy of it and do not blame anyone, but only themselves. Your sorrow increases, since you consider yourself equal to Metropolitan Arcadia and feel slavery. This thought is far from humble: imagine boys of different ages and ranks studying in the seminary, and then one bishop comes out, and the other remains a sacrificial clerk, and it happens that the latter is even higher than him in both rank and admission. The same thing happens in the service: being equal in the lower rank, one reaches the rank of general, and the other, with a minor rank, is promoted at the same time. Do the latter have the right to grieve for the former? Apply measures, sister, to your dispensation, and know your unjust reasoning.
Whether to lease the cell to you or to sell part of it, we cannot decisively determine. According to your needs, you can consult with Mother Arkady and, with the blessing of the Mother Abbess, do what is more convenient for you – the Lord will bless you.
March 7, 1837 (?).
157. It is impossible without sorrows. For the fulfillment of the canon, the Lord is able to grant forgiveness
In two of your letters you write about your grief over the disorder of the neighboring cell, which is why yours also demands the construction of a porch and a porch. We see that you grieve, grumble, blame others and are confused, which you will not harm them in the least, and you will not help yourself, and yet you must build up, only with damage to your spiritual structure, and if you accepted this visit with patience, you could take advantage of it.
If you acknowledge yourself to be a sinner, then you know that there are many wounds to the sinner, and when you are righteous, then it is written: "Many are the sorrows of the righteous" (Psalm XXXIII, 20). Wherever you turn, you can't do without sorrow. Who arranges them? God Himself provides for everyone and governs everything, but whoever accepts it differently departs from the truth and is likened to the dumb.